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Zombie Nutritionist Recommends All-Brain Diet

theonion.com — In a dramatic reversal of decades-old medical wisdom, the late Dr. Albert Rossum, director of the O'Bannon Institute For Postmortem Nutritional Studies, recommended an all-brain diet for zombies Tuesday. "Our research indicates that live human brains are, in fact, the only food an active adult zombie should consume at all."

Who dugg this? Made popular Nov 30, 2008

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  • heybeevo, on 11/30/2008, -2/+65Grains!

    Grrraaaiiins!
  • RickoSicko, on 11/30/2008, -1/+42I'd bury this, but it would only rise back up again.
  • zhaojon, on 11/30/2008, -2/+37I read it as "Zombie Nutritionist Recommends All-Bran Diet" and pictured a zombie eating a bowl of Total and a muffin.
  • BenKenobi88, on 11/30/2008, -1/+18I suppose nobody's more Onion-like than...The Onion...
  • d2002, on 11/29/2008, -2/+18Calling Bruce Campbell....
  • dstone97, on 11/30/2008, -1/+15That was funny. Now I want to go play Left 4 Dead.
  • minnasouljah, on 11/30/2008, -6/+20Bill O'Reily is a penis eating zombie, so he is excused on this nutrition plan
  • AReallyGoodName, on 11/30/2008, -2/+15In other news vegan nutritionist recommends Graaaaiiiinssss Grraaaaaiiiins.
  • ElBeh, on 11/30/2008, -1/+11Someone's a bit touchy.... zombie eat a brain of a family member?
  • appleseed1234, on 11/30/2008, -1/+11What the hell?
  • ElBeh, on 11/30/2008, -2/+9Cool, I'm a Sophomore in high school now.

    Does this mean that I'll still be addicted to Digg by the end of college? :(
  • appleseed1234, on 11/30/2008, -3/+10Who gives a *****.
  • dha07030, on 11/30/2008, -2/+8*Reloading*
  • MadOgre, on 11/30/2008, -1/+6Molotovs here!
  • FelixDeluxe, on 11/30/2008, -4/+8Why not just have a link to theonion.com in the nav bar?

    I like the onion as much as anyone else but come on, this is getting silly.
  • 8BitGaming, on 12/01/2008, -0/+3Grabbin' pills
  • surferbill, on 12/02/2008, -0/+3All we want to do is eat your brains
    We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
    All we want to do is eat your brains
    We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise:
    If you open up the doors
    We'll all come inside and eat your brains

    :)
  • DforSpiD, on 11/30/2008, -1/+4You do realize that rednecks are usually republicans right?
  • superppl, on 11/30/2008, -2/+5Can I eat your brain? You clearly don't need it. I even have a permission slip from my mum!
  • SDeluxe, on 12/01/2008, -1/+4According to the revised zombie food pyramid, they should also consume about an average 16 to 22 people a day. Dugg
  • SDeluxe, on 12/01/2008, -0/+3There's.. normal and retarded zombies? Well son of a bitch.
  • sgtcaboose, on 11/30/2008, -2/+5Thank god, I was wondering what to eat!
  • inactive, on 12/01/2008, -0/+2I didn't realize comedy articles had a shelf life.
  • andrewtheart, on 12/01/2008, -0/+2Or, he's doing it all wrong, which is nothing new.
  • JaredMcCammon, on 11/30/2008, -3/+5I will never stop fighting them.
  • SuperSexySadie, on 12/01/2008, -0/+2Now that so much information is being shared about how zombies can feed and prosper, people will need information about how to protect themselves.

    http://www.wikihowl.com/zombieattack.html
  • estacado, on 11/30/2008, -1/+3Or you could just add melamine.
  • TheGuruStud, on 11/30/2008, -1/+3Did you even look at the URL, lol?
  • estacado, on 12/01/2008, -0/+2cute FAIL.
  • betheturtle, on 12/01/2008, -1/+3All we want to do is to eat your Grains
    We're not unreasonable
    I mean no ones gonna drink your Chai
  • khaos4k, on 11/30/2008, -2/+3That was a lot better than I was expecting. I'm in science, and all of the testing and opposing opinions jokes did it for me.
  • antdude, on 11/30/2008, -2/+3September 26, 2002
  • Encablossa, on 12/01/2008, -0/+1Ahh!! Make me unsee it
  • estacado, on 12/01/2008, -2/+3i wonder how somebody can lol and ask at the same time?
  • betheturtle, on 12/01/2008, -1/+2I logged in to digg you up so that I could digg you down twice.
  • netstorm, on 12/15/2008, -0/+1You can always kill them first
    http://www.zombiegames.us
    http://www.zombiegames.us/play-4035-thelaststand2. ...
  • muty, on 11/30/2008, -2/+3Grains are bad mkay
  • maus56, on 11/30/2008, -1/+2I originally read that as an all-bran diet. And that might have been funnier. After all, there just isn't enough bran in brain for an unhealthy zombie to maintain it's unnatural green glow.
  • BossKey, on 11/30/2008, -1/+2Gotta have that fiber. Would there be any worse fate than turning into a constipated zombie?
  • TheKappa, on 12/01/2008, -2/+3Buried. REAL zombies eat living flesh. Brains are just what retarded zombies eat.
  • TheMachine1, on 11/30/2008, -3/+3I suggest using more economical textured soy protein with 10% brain extract.
  • quez, on 11/30/2008, -2/+2Finally, a diet plan that makes sense.
  • Ratty, on 11/30/2008, -4/+46 years old.
  • Pzycho, on 12/01/2008, -2/+2You put zombie and you put diet in the title, and I don't wanna do it.
  • jolenebradshaw, on 05/19/2009, -0/+0ur right - only greeny grey sperm is funny

    http://digg.com/health/Diets_that_really_work
  • shinsplints, on 12/03/2008, -0/+0With the current rise in food prices, I see this being a viable options for non-Zombies as well!
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