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Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People In The Face watch!

theonion.com — Hot new game, Close Range.

Who dugg this? Made popular Apr 7, 2009

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276 Comments

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  • jenel, on 04/06/2009, -14/+429In all honesty, I'd play this.
  • c0ldmetalz, on 04/07/2009, -1/+324Close Range demo online!! http://www.closerangegame.com/close_range.html
  • pat7047, on 04/06/2009, -2/+316I think a celebrity edition of the game would be a great seller.
  • BuzzFriendly, on 04/07/2009, -1/+304Hopefully it won't have a Hot Coffee cheat that shows a hidden sex scene or I will have to keep my child from playing it.

  • CoD4, on 04/07/2009, -7/+265I like the part where you shoot people in the face
  • speedk0re, on 04/07/2009, -1/+168I think Paris has been shot in the face enough
  • TrouserJazz, on 04/06/2009, -4/+158Not the ostrich! Noooooo!
  • DesertSquirrel, on 04/07/2009, -1/+130NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I LOVED HER!
  • Black6x, on 04/07/2009, -1/+118It unlocks a facial mode.
  • stoanhart, on 04/07/2009, -0/+99Then click the link that says play this game online.
  • iEATcatFOOD, on 04/06/2009, -4/+102Haha Side missions of shooting animals in the face
  • Jehutes, on 04/07/2009, -0/+76Smothering!

    Why didn't I think of that?
  • tigerpixel, on 04/07/2009, -5/+77This is funny because it true.There's probably a game publisher somewhere banging their head on a desk after seeing this."They stole our amazing new gameplay idea.We're ruined!"
  • rodon, on 04/07/2009, -1/+69it's you.
  • iEATcatFOOD, on 04/06/2009, -2/+67Chainsaw Dawn sounds hilarious
  • CLShortFuse, on 04/08/2009, -0/+54I'm stuck, I don't know what to do. I'm at the point in the game where you have a guy standing in front of you at point blank range.
  • Licurgo, on 04/07/2009, -3/+46this game needs autoaim
  • aaron4, on 04/07/2009, -10/+50(Achievement Unlocked)
  • inactive, on 04/07/2009, -2/+38I guess I'm the first to say:

    ***** load time from hell!

    And I have a 10Mb connection...
  • mavranos, on 04/07/2009, -0/+35Yeah. I think everyone grasps what is going on here. Except perhaps you.
  • leephil, on 04/07/2009, -0/+35Lighten up, Francis.
  • Wiggletits, on 04/07/2009, -2/+35its completely open ended! you can shoot someone in the ear, in the eye, the possibility are endless!
  • CoD4, on 04/07/2009, -0/+33It's well worth the wait
  • chompapotamus, on 04/07/2009, -0/+33my day is a lot better now, thanks
  • D3PyroGS, on 04/07/2009, -0/+27@speedk0re Win.
  • AmazingA, on 04/07/2009, -4/+30Hell, I just spent like five hours chopping wood. Sadly, the best part about Fable II
  • alembert, on 04/07/2009, -1/+26***** man..Really?
  • lodeswrath, on 04/07/2009, -0/+25i don't remember that part.
  • churler, on 04/07/2009, -0/+25Is it just me or is your sense of humor a shriveled corpse?
  • mhuggins, on 04/07/2009, -0/+25HAI GUISE, MY NAEM IS JOOLZ AND IM HERE TO SAVE TEH DAY
  • cosmotic, on 04/07/2009, -2/+25There's a SERIOUS memory leak in the game, I can't get past the cell phone call before my computer starts thrashing... This is from an instance of FireFox without any extensions and launched with 1GB free memory. Pretty sad... Maybe it was on purpose?
  • dissolutionman, on 04/07/2009, -1/+24Or jizz in his pants.
  • haentz, on 04/07/2009, -10/+33Who else was disappointed that was from Onion?
  • RUBallsingMe, on 04/07/2009, -0/+20I like how the phone is already bloody before you even do anything.
  • CAD420, on 04/07/2009, -0/+19Um....there WAS a shotgun..
  • Shaggy6ster, on 04/07/2009, -7/+26I was really excited about this until i saw it was from the onion.
  • WELLDOITLIVE, on 04/07/2009, -0/+19I was talking to alembert... bad joke I guess.
  • IHaveIssues, on 04/07/2009, -0/+19He is no longer relevant (not that he was).
  • bales2552, on 04/07/2009, -2/+20OVER 9000!
  • michaelrsa, on 04/07/2009, -0/+18I just love that the people have a gun pointed to their faces and they don't even care, it just makes it even more hilarious.
  • shredluc, on 04/07/2009, -0/+17was it shot in the face?
  • Twinked, on 04/07/2009, -0/+16How many times could you shoot Paris or Mel Gibson in the face before it got boring?

    Never mind don't answer that!
  • Chompy, on 04/07/2009, -1/+17Buried for using "cash" as an adjective.
  • D3PyroGS, on 04/07/2009, -0/+13This is the game I've been waiting on for years. I didn't think Gears of War was graphic enough in its violence, but this game gives me the satisfaction of blowing innocent people's heads off without the monotony of moving through levels. Thanks Close Range!
  • chaoswings, on 04/07/2009, -0/+13It is (technically) a real game there is a link to it on the onion.

    http://www.closerangegame.com/

    now that's what I call taking a joke all the way.
  • mikemx7f, on 04/07/2009, -0/+13It was actually really clever, just no one got it.
  • TheXboxReview, on 04/07/2009, -3/+15That's better than what some people put into WoW.
  • holyskeleton, on 04/07/2009, -2/+14how much RAM does this need?
  • getzwane, on 04/07/2009, -1/+13I think he was saying that he thought the game was cool and then was disappointed that it was fake. No?
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