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- mjfadeaway, on 10/31/2008, -3/+632One day all of the Onion stories will come true.
- Mujokan, on 10/31/2008, -16/+419Joe the Plumber sounded from the start like he'd listened to about a million hours of Limbaugh. That's why he's voting against his own economic interests.
He is made for talk radio. But even the Onion couldn't predict the McCain campaign would actually *become* talk radio. - TehUberGeeK, on 10/31/2008, -3/+356"Homeless catch on to 'Grunge' trend"
lol - d2002, on 10/31/2008, -8/+321Pretty sad that we live in a world where parody has become reality.
- pintomp3, on 10/31/2008, -6/+203***** joe the fake plumber
- tarley, on 10/31/2008, -2/+152Dugg for the surrounding articles
- ablacksunrise, on 10/31/2008, -0/+140They accurately predicted the 5-bladed razor too:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930 - SayeSayno, on 10/31/2008, -1/+133Can't wait to not see the Ninja parade!
- slapded, on 10/31/2008, -3/+103I can't wait until Nov 5th when we don't have to hear about this asshat anymore.
- ldkronos, on 10/31/2008, -0/+94They even got his state right
- voteobama4, on 10/31/2008, -1/+74It baffles me that the media has actually latched on to the McCain/Palin camp's push to make this guy a credible source.
- ebob9, on 10/31/2008, -1/+73I'm still waiting for the Playstation 5..
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27607 - jahurt, on 10/31/2008, -1/+71The Onion has got it right more than once.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784 - corkerjoe, on 10/31/2008, -4/+69 I would like to make two points. First a person is not a plumber until the state you take the state exam, score at least a 72% are issued a license that says journeyman plumber until then you are a gofer,a helper,or an apprentice plumber. After you work at the trade for at least two years,you may then apply to the state to take the Master plumber exam, if you pass that exam you are a Master Plumber,and can go into business.
My second point is if Joe has been working at the trade for 15 years (as he said) and still don't have a license, Joe, pick a new trade.maybe radio talk show, no test,no facts,just loud and obnoxious. - diggerman32, on 10/31/2008, -0/+58Even the one about the boy who clicked the "Under 18" button on a porn site?
- inactive, on 10/31/2008, -1/+59I do not hate the middle class (obviously), but that guy annoys the ***** out of me.
Something about the whole I am a poor guy so you should listen to me. I am just your average American plumber and Obama will raise my taxes (if I won the lottery and managed to buy the company that I work for.) I haven't really saved up enough to actually buy my company, but if I did this plan wouldn't help me. - wildest, on 10/31/2008, -19/+76I ate an onion yesterday, it was emotional.
- vertigo32, on 10/31/2008, -2/+54Not the first time...I'm sure we all remember this one from Jan 17, 2001. Freaking prophetic.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784 - d2002, on 10/31/2008, -2/+54For the onion as well, I'm sure.
- Skooma714, on 10/31/2008, -1/+51All this has happened before, and all this will happen again.
- ldkronos, on 10/31/2008, -2/+52@black2769
Actually, ZackScott did NOT nail it. He got it completely wrong, and so did you.
I myself am a small business owner, and I can tell you for a fact you are absolutely wrong. You are taxed only on your profits. If the company brings in 400K, you deduct whatever expenses you incurred to make that 400K (labor, parts, equipment, facilities, taxes, loan interest, etc). Lets say that is 100K, so that leaves you with 300K profit.
Now, you have 2 choices about what to do. You can keep that 300K for yourself, in which case you pay taxes on the whole 300K. Or, you can take 100K for yourself and put the other 200K back into the business. Well, let me ask...what does it mean to put 200K back into the business? What it means is that you use the 200K to pay for extra labor, or buy a bigger inventory, or pay for larger facilities, or buy some new equipment that you need, etc. In short, by investing that 200K back into the business, whatever you spend it on becomes an expense, and thus you've actually modified your original profit calculation. You still have revenues of of 400K, but your expenses are now 300K, so your profit is only 100K, and that's what you pay taxes on.
If you choose to reinvest the 200K, then the only tax concern you have is that you reinvest it before the tax year ends. Otherwise you will pay taxes on the 300K for that year, and your 200K of new expenses will be moved into the next year. The result is that you will pay higher taxes this year, but you will have a much bigger deduction next year. It won't necessarily offset itself completely. Assuming you make the same next year, you'll be paying into a higher tax bracket the first year and then saving on a lower tax bracket the next year. However, if (as you hope) your business actually grows and you make even more money the following year, then shifting the deduction to the next year can actually prevent your from going into a higher tax bracket in that second year, so it is actually to your advantage to push the expenses off to year 2....voluntarily pay more in tax the first year so that you can save an even larger amount the next year.
But I'm not surprised to see that people criticizing Obama's plan are doing it based on an incorrect understanding of tax laws. You two keep patting yourself on the back in celebration of your ignorance. - vbullinger, on 10/31/2008, -0/+46Well, no, not that one. That's the most preposterous Onion article ever.
- mcarrel, on 10/31/2008, -0/+42Reality's been plagiarizing quite a bit from the Onion this year.
- bpoteat, on 10/31/2008, -0/+40@black27696 - No, you and ZackScott are both entirely wrong. My wife owns her own business and I have done taxes for her for many years. You are not taxed on money that you might've had at some point in time. You are only taxed on profits - how much you made minus how much you spent in making it. Have you never done taxes before? The concept of taxing only income is very simple and you have it wrong.
There are some situations when this doesn't always work out and a business owner DOES get screwed, such as someone who worked on a software product for 3 years making no money and then making 400k in one year, in which case that business would get taxed for the entire amount minus only that year's deductions, but that is a rare case and one for which neither candidate has suggested improvements.
And rondeth, you are right that many of the concepts are getting condensed, but income taxes for individuals and companies are not rocket surgery. If someone is getting the fundamental idea of income tax wrong, then they don't understand what any proposed changes are going to do for them, their company, or the country. - philars, on 10/31/2008, -1/+39That's what Snoop Doggy Dogg said
- bpoteat, on 10/31/2008, -2/+37You're right. That's stupid thinking. The tax change isn't enough on small business to even justify a single employee's salary. If the company brings in enough revenue to push it into a higher tax bracket, then he should simply distribute the difference to his employees as bonuses (as an expenditure) which would then make the gross profit below that tax bracket. Everyone wins.
Of course, you could believe in the trickle down effect such that more revenues equals more money and more jobs - but we all know that isn't the case. If the owner of a company has the choice to give that money to himself as taxable income or to his employees, which do you think he is going to choose? - guestaccount, on 10/31/2008, -1/+36I put random! punctuation in the middle of sentences!
- rugabug, on 10/31/2008, -0/+33Remind him that profits not revenue are taxed.
- BossKey, on 10/31/2008, -0/+32If you're still waiting...you missed it.
- XtheXlanternX, on 10/31/2008, -5/+37My dad is a small business owner, and he thinks and acts like Joe the Plumber. He is like, Obama is going to raise my taxes and I'll have to fire employees! I'll admit, his businesses are incorporated and I don't know how they are taxed, but I can't imagine that Obama would raise taxes on small businesses (which employ the majority of American workers). Overall it is pretty embarrassing.
- inactive, on 10/31/2008, -3/+33An under educated douche, who somehow the McCain ticket seems to think is a valid voice of the American working class. He makes 35 grand a year but fears that if for some miraculous reason he starts making a quarter million dollars a year his taxes will go up a few percent.
- iamtad, on 10/31/2008, -4/+33"Snoop Doggy Dogg: '*****' "
- bpoteat, on 10/31/2008, -1/+30@ZackScott - no that's not right. The company isn't taxed on the 400,000 - they are taxed only on the profits. So, he can either pay the entire taxes on that 60k or reduce it by paying his workers more, investing in better facilities, etc. The owner of a company does NOT pass on tax burdens to it's employees or customers - that makes absolutely no sense.
- parisii, on 10/31/2008, -2/+29Yesterday Christian fundies prayed, laying hands on the Wall Street bull. When I saw that article, I thought of The Onion, too. - What do you do when people are beyond parody?
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/10/wheres_ ... - Hyperion1144, on 10/31/2008, -0/+27Is anyone keeping track of the number of times The Onion has predicted stuff that actually ends up happening? Seems like this is happening quite a bit lately.
- mlpoulter, on 10/31/2008, -7/+33Misleading headline! This wasn't printed in 1993. It's from the book "Our Dumb Century" which has mock-ups of front pages of the Onion throughout the 20th Century. So it dates from about 1999. Still a good prediction though.
- MrBogard, on 10/31/2008, -0/+25Can't wait to see Jesus return to the NBA.
- rz8472, on 10/31/2008, -0/+23I initially had a good deal of respect for Joe the Plumber. While it was clear from the start that he wasn't going to vote for Obama and his views were completely antithetical to mine, I liked the fact that he challenged a presidential candidate with a non-softball question - that Barack answered very reasonably and calmly (he wasn't flailing around like the right-wingers claim). That and it seemed that Joe was some sort of everyday voter who just wanted to be left alone.
And then the publicity and book deals hit, along with the campaign trail appearances with John McCain. Yep, he just wants to be left alone goshdarn it... but that mean socialist had to ruin everything. - elhaf, on 10/31/2008, -0/+22"Gay soldiers march for right to love men, kill men."
- laubscher, on 10/31/2008, -1/+23Life imitates art?
- hokie47, on 10/31/2008, -2/+22So say we all
- MrBogard, on 10/31/2008, -0/+20I think we found the most useless of them all. Seriously.. websites have fanboys?
- Dr3w, on 10/31/2008, -2/+22I enjoyed the "never!"
- zydeco, on 10/31/2008, -0/+19If you haven't read "Our Dumb Century" (the book this page was taken from), you gotta get it. It's crammed with stuff like this. It's pretty great.
- gobbleplex, on 10/31/2008, -0/+19After the 2000 election, the onion ran a piece in which Bush gave an address. "Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."
- Rudegar, on 10/31/2008, -9/+28Onion stories should never! have The Onion in the title
or nobody will be fooled into thinking it's true news! - AnthonySD, on 10/31/2008, -2/+21HOLY ***** MAN WALKS ON ***** MOON
- 0tis, on 10/31/2008, -0/+19It baffles me that McCain has actually latched on to Palin.
- FredFredrickson, on 10/31/2008, -1/+20Joe the Plumber asked a question about economics he didn't understand, was proved to be wrong and told that he'd be fine under the Obama plan, and now he stumping for McCain anyway. Anyon who actually buys into this ***** ought to have their head examined.
- awtripp, on 10/31/2008, -4/+22C-C-C-COMMMA BREAKER!
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