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The 7 Most Ingenious (And Insane) Smuggling Techniques

cracked.com — Everything from cocaine to human beings is waiting to cross tight borders into lands where they're not welcome. And wherever you find them, you find an army of smugglers using every ounce of their creativity to get them through.

Who dugg this? Made popular Nov 30, 2008

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  • Rockkybox, on 11/30/2008, -0/+61I once heard a story about these guys that smuggled heroin using ink cartridges, emptied them of ink and filled them with smack; but it turns out that they were actually losing money because the ink cartridges cost a lot more than the money that they made selling the stuff
  • geoffmenegay, on 11/30/2008, -1/+56Vodka pipeline...that's genius.
  • Sylocat, on 11/30/2008, -1/+42"If you've never been in a gas tank of a Dodge Caravan you may be surprised to learn it's exactly as uncomfortable as it sounds, which is to say: still better than public transit."

    I wouldn't know about the first part of that sentence, but I have no trouble whatsoever believing the second part.
  • oboshoe, on 11/30/2008, -1/+40You would think that the guys who make smuggling submarines, could earn a better living just making submarines.
  • BeShirtHappy, on 11/30/2008, -0/+30The woman hiding in the dashboard - insane! The things people will do...
  • Pzycho, on 11/30/2008, -0/+29People should just stick with the classics. Balloons in the butt.
  • TheMachine1, on 11/30/2008, -0/+27"We don't know how exactly they intended to get the drugs back out of the statue"

    Crush the statue till its powder add water, filter, evaporate water to yield cocaine.
  • spenner, on 11/30/2008, -0/+25As any good beer baron knows, bowling balls are the best way to get through prohibition
  • JakeyG14, on 11/30/2008, -0/+20But once they're done with that, they need to get back to smuggling.
  • fsuey, on 11/30/2008, -0/+18Not gonna lie, I accidentally smuggled a joint back from the Czech Republic to America without any problems. Apparently the front of your purse after a long night of drinking is a good place?
  • gusto, on 11/30/2008, -0/+17That needs to be rebuilt and extended right across Europe :)
  • Azuvic, on 11/30/2008, -0/+16The Jesus statue made of cocaine was insane.... high in body, high in mind, high in life
  • lisaawesome, on 11/30/2008, -0/+16As a former owner of a Dodge Caravan, I can attest to the fact that the gas tank is the least comfortable spot in the vehicle.
  • inferno10, on 12/01/2008, -0/+16I tried the hiding in the seat technique once. The woman noticed my penis poking through the hole before she sat down though...
  • brownsound00, on 11/30/2008, -0/+16i think that comes out from the filter step
  • JaredMcCammon, on 11/30/2008, -1/+16Tunnel in the back of a maternity store?
  • zip000, on 11/30/2008, -0/+13Hilarious 13 year olds maybe.
  • esteskid, on 11/30/2008, -1/+13Those mini subs are the *****
  • mindpuzzle, on 11/30/2008, -0/+11Human nature never stops amazing me.
  • Br3ach, on 12/01/2008, -0/+11The should have tried bootlegging ink cartridges instead
  • Rhoadsy, on 11/30/2008, -0/+11We can make cocaine plastic but we can't figure out how to cure cancer? WTF we need columbian chemists up here. I bet those guys NEVER sleep.
  • bigbird, on 11/30/2008, -0/+11In other news sales of baby powder out of columbia are hitting record levels. The unprecidented move came as a shock to proctor and gamble, but they have said that they havent noticed any drop in the demand for there product
  • oboshoe, on 12/01/2008, -0/+9Checkout "The Phoenix 1000 is a 65-meter (213') personal luxury submarine. "

    http://www.ussubs.com/submarines/phoenix_1000.php3

    Yours for a cool 78 million.
  • zip000, on 11/30/2008, -1/+10No it isn't.

    The Virgin Mary statues were filled with little baggies of heroin. The Coke Jesus was MADE out of cocaine mixed with the plaster.
  • rezx, on 11/30/2008, -0/+9Definitely Cocaine plastic
  • inactive, on 11/30/2008, -0/+9Cheech and Chong had a van made of pot.
  • inactive, on 11/30/2008, -0/+9The plaster gets filtered out.
  • disraeligears54, on 11/30/2008, -3/+11The Coke Jesus is exactly like the Heroin Virgin Mary in Lost..
  • inactive, on 11/30/2008, -0/+8And these are only the ones we've encountered so far.
  • Paulish, on 11/30/2008, -0/+7Yeah, but who buys submarines? Rich people buy yachts, not subs.
  • rockrapdude, on 11/30/2008, -1/+7Only in Eastern-Europe. The mexicans should to a tequila pipeline.
  • xxMaxaroni, on 11/30/2008, -0/+6definitely one of the most amusing cracked articles i've read.
  • brownsound00, on 11/30/2008, -0/+6the best ones are still out there...
  • VegasKill, on 11/30/2008, -1/+6I use the Asian in a box technique.
  • ElGranMonkador, on 11/30/2008, -0/+5theres stories of people being smuggled into west berlin during the cold war in the boot (trunk?) of an isetta bubble. look up that car and realise the true nature of insane
  • Ragzouken, on 11/30/2008, -1/+6Does plaster evaporate with the water?
  • Czechxican, on 11/30/2008, -0/+5pwnd
  • JayBabs, on 12/01/2008, -0/+3I disagree. Next to Digg, Cracked.com is a godsend in entertaining festivities while at the workplace.
  • Velocity14, on 12/01/2008, -0/+3Acid blotters nestled comfortably inside of a laptop. :P
  • mecharabbit, on 12/01/2008, -0/+3And a huge joint made of pot-infused dog *****.
  • Spoomeister, on 11/30/2008, -2/+5Ok, I'm a sadist - when I saw the woman smuggled in the front dash of the car, my first thought was, "tickle tickle tickle"!
  • DarkProd, on 11/30/2008, -0/+3Yeah, well, uhm.... You know when someone uses the "Oh my God I just shat bricks"?
  • Br3ach, on 12/01/2008, -0/+3No kidding, they can build that ***** directly into my living room :D
  • inactive, on 11/30/2008, -8/+10I still hold my position that CRACKED is written by a bunch of 13 year olds.
  • Br3ach, on 12/01/2008, -0/+2I never thought in a million years drug smugglers were advanced enough to have subs. These people will be the inventors of the Transporter
  • spepin, on 12/01/2008, -0/+2Hm, they had no living drug mules? Those are the best stories, people walking around with bags of whatever sewn in under their skin. Gross.
  • tgc1, on 12/01/2008, -0/+2Why not just smuggle it in meat? That'll throw those damn dogs off LOL

    "Sparky? What's got into you boy?"
  • tech42er, on 12/01/2008, -0/+2Depends on the city. Where are you from?

    edit: Madison? Do they even have public transportation? Oh, you mean buses.
  • JustinBobby08, on 12/01/2008, -0/+2Just for the record - there's a reason why no one tries to smuggle sheep!
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