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GOOGLE Acquires Roman Catholic Church for $1.8bn

badoozie.com — In a joint press conference this morning held at Google’s HQ in Mountain view, California, GOOGLE Inc. (NASDAQ:GOOG) and the Vatican announced that the Internet search giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church for an undisclosed number of GOOGLE shares and a staggering $1.8bn in capital. The deal will give GOOGLE exclusive rights to the bible.

Who dugg this? Made popular Jul 7, 2008

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  • inactive, on 07/07/2008, -1/+50Our Father who art the search engine?
  • josher565, on 07/07/2008, -3/+38Holy Mother full of grace, can i haz a cheeseburger?!?!?!?!
  • Aliwalla, on 07/07/2008, -5/+40So I guess that just throws the whole "Do No Evil" thing out the window then?
  • SolidBones, on 07/07/2008, -0/+27hallowed be thy domain
  • Hiki, on 07/07/2008, -0/+22Thy kingdom come, thy search be done
  • thesupergeek, on 07/07/2008, -1/+21erm, its on a comedy site ofcourse its fake :P I cant actually believe you have took your time to check other news sources :)
  • cawpin, on 07/07/2008, -1/+21Site's that aren't should not try to be The Onion.
  • obsolite, on 07/07/2008, -1/+20The Onion called...
  • smartcause, on 07/07/2008, -0/+16Next stop: Google acquires United States Federal Government. The good news: Tax returns come in the form of Google stock, the bad news: everyone's day care is going up 75%
  • billbugger, on 07/07/2008, -0/+15On Earth as it is on the Internets
  • Pake, on 07/07/2008, -0/+15Does this mean the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button will be changed to "I'm Feeling Guided"?
  • blackhole005, on 07/07/2008, -2/+15Meh. It's like an Onion article, except it's not clever or all that funny.
  • 11Christine, on 07/07/2008, -3/+16I would love to see Sergey Brin becoming the new Pope =)
  • Barackalypse, on 07/07/2008, -1/+10My guess is that the Roman Catholic Church could probably buy Google. They've got 1 billion followers, some prime real estate in nearly every major city on earth, priceless cultural artifacts, and one of the most recognized spokespersons on the planet. What does Google have? Ad revenue. I'll take a billion followers anyday.
  • unloud, on 07/07/2008, -2/+11Give us this day, our daily porn, and forgive us our rickrolls...as we forgive those who've rickrolled against us. and lead us not into goatse, but deliver us from /b/. RaMEN.
  • f3l1x, on 07/07/2008, -0/+9No they are laying off all the incumbent staff, so all the evil's being taken care of. Google just wanted the branding rights to "God".
  • freebird09, on 07/07/2008, -1/+9As we forgive those who search on yahoo.
  • thembx, on 07/07/2008, -0/+8I immediately looked for "theonion.com" under the title.
  • Loaferz, on 07/07/2008, -1/+8And forgive us our google bombing.
  • nmckinlay, on 07/07/2008, -0/+7But deliver us from Microsoft.
  • sgiffy, on 07/07/2008, -0/+6That price seems a little low given all the land they own. But I guess you have to discount it somewhat given that its full of useless churches made of very heavy rocks.
  • AmyVernon, on 07/07/2008, -0/+6lol (ironically)
  • inactive, on 07/07/2008, -2/+8This is scary, Hell Google truly thinks it's GOD!
  • mrhedges, on 07/07/2008, -0/+6It's not even slightly believable. I know it's a joke, but the Catholic church is one of the largest land owners in the world (if not THE largest). $1.8B + shares is just a ridiculous assumption of its worth.
  • idavidtang, on 07/07/2008, -0/+6And lead us not into viruses,
  • inactive, on 07/07/2008, -3/+8now the priests can easily google fresh altar boys
  • f3l1x, on 07/07/2008, -0/+5Then the company changed it's name to Buy n' Large. etc. etc. etc.
  • pilot3033, on 07/07/2008, -0/+5um, no *****.

    it's still funny
  • pitchblack16, on 07/07/2008, -0/+4clearly, google is close to world domination
  • billizm, on 07/07/2008, -0/+4The Catholic Church is such a business, it is probably worth much more than Google.
  • thegodfaza, on 07/07/2008, -0/+4This is a joke right? I hope...
  • Rizzler, on 07/07/2008, -0/+3Does this mean that I can no longer google image search for nudes?

    Moderate safe search = off!
  • ezran, on 07/07/2008, -2/+6Give us this day, our daily Pagerank.
  • SolidBones, on 07/07/2008, -2/+6Wow guys. The Onion doesn't have exclusive rights to mock articles, you know....
  • azher, on 07/07/2008, -2/+5to do something for God not bat at all
  • staffell, on 07/07/2008, -0/+3If only..
  • inactive, on 07/07/2008, -1/+4I wish.

    Dugg for google is founded on facts, not fairy tales :D
  • staffell, on 07/07/2008, -1/+4you dildo
  • understudy, on 07/07/2008, -0/+3The Google-is-huge, Google-has-lots-of-money, Google-will-control-the-world stories are getting really old. But hey, that's just my opinion.

    _
  • HenvY, on 07/07/2008, -3/+6Not funny.
  • IRoaChI, on 07/07/2008, -1/+4I dont get it ?
  • freshyill, on 07/07/2008, -0/+2Jokes are usually funny.
  • Bleue, on 07/07/2008, -1/+3He'd probably get the title renamed to Poople.
  • Duositex, on 07/07/2008, -1/+3Buried for lamely imitating the onion, which in itself is lame.
  • sandburn, on 07/07/2008, -0/+2Ceiling Cat is watching you commit blasphemy...
  • thirdcoastborn, on 07/07/2008, -0/+2first order of business..... get rid of all the priest child predators
  • PabloMac, on 07/07/2008, -0/+2The Catholic church doesn't own the rights to the Bible.
  • sadisticmind, on 07/07/2008, -0/+2"im too lazy to move my mouse 3 inches over"....you remind me of the "New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less" article

    http://www.theonion.com/content/video/new_wearable ...
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