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Funniest Valedictorian Speech Ever watch!

view.break.com — I think this guy offended pretty much everyone in there and still got a standing O. I'm sure he was nominated.

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  • cashman57, on 04/29/2008, -62/+16Still LMAO!
  • pentupentropy, on 04/29/2008, -131/+9That ***** was fuuuunny. posting it on verybadhabits.com
  • louiebaur, on 04/29/2008, -19/+223Thats pretty funny and he has quite the hair do
    • feshmania, on 04/29/2008, -1/+52yeah, here i thought Goku was Japanese...Canada is everywhere.
      • Cint, on 04/29/2008, -0/+9I want hair like that
        • all_about_the_D, on 04/29/2008, -1/+21he makes me confident that the hair in the upcoming dragonball movie will be awesome!
        • Gerbil_Juice, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1I want hair. :(
    • 4d669, on 04/29/2008, -24/+8I actually thought that this speech was a product of massive attention whoredom, immaturity and watching too much Stewart/Colbert.
    • Phyraxus, on 04/29/2008, -1/+21I knew he was Canadian. The "aboot" gave it away.
      • Whaines, on 04/29/2008, -0/+6That and the fact he mentioned Wayne Gretzky.
      • DickyT83, on 04/29/2008, -0/+10Or maybe because he simply said "Canada"?
    • Spudster, on 04/29/2008, -6/+2http://digg.com/politics/High_school_valedictorian ... I was a graduating class valedictorian and while researching I found this speech very interesting.
    • Buckeye17, on 04/29/2008, -13/+6He actually wasn't that funny. Buried for being inaccurate--not the funniest valedictorian speech ever.
    • chijim70, on 04/29/2008, -1/+14Yeah the below Dane Cook things aside. It is hard to speak well in front of tons of people, specially your peers. He's young and obviously worked hard on that and it shows through that he's a good kid. OMG he's not a pro! Get a life!
      Honestly, I'd be pretty proud if that was my son. Sick how anything so light hearted, and from a kid at that, is so shot down or overly examined for possibly offending content or lack of professionalism when there are so many things so much more sick and perverse going on in the world.
      Get a sense of humor already.

    • Blackham, on 04/29/2008, -1/+1Beware of the valedictorian...
    • skyshock1, on 04/29/2008, -0/+3TETSUO!!!!
    • arcanesmile, on 04/29/2008, -0/+7Hair > Speech
    • plastiqmanb, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1Anyone else think him and his hair reminded you of Beakman??
    • NeoCortex, on 04/29/2008, -0/+4He's a human troll doll.
    • stacigh, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Speach made me giggle but the camera motion made me sick. :(
      When will people learn to hold that ***** still?
  • pushplaynow, on 04/29/2008, -59/+10LMAO! That was funny as hell. Thanks for sending the shout!
    • Darkhacker, on 04/29/2008, -0/+4For the love of ***** god no. Don't encourage people to send shouts. I get enough of that spam as it is. I only keep it enabled because I do sometimes get legitimate shouts, but a majority of it is stupid crap like, "Hilarious: Monkey Eats Its Own Poo! LMAO!"
  • sterntastic223, on 04/29/2008, -95/+7He salutes like a Nazi, but otherwise he's great.
  • Mswldflwr, on 04/29/2008, -13/+123Very impressive and funny. I'd vote for him.
    • Roger, on 04/29/2008, -14/+70I'd still vote for Pedro.
      • feshmania, on 04/29/2008, -1/+20vote for summer
      • dojonz, on 04/29/2008, -0/+36Pedro lacks political experience.
      • Dohko_Xar, on 04/29/2008, -1/+28Pedro offers you protection
      • ThreeDee912, on 04/29/2008, -13/+4"Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true."

        (Dugg for Napoleon Dynamite references, BTW.)
    • megaton, on 04/29/2008, -19/+6You don't VOTE for Valedictorian, retard.
      • blahtastic, on 04/29/2008, -1/+26It's usually the person with the best grades. If you watched the ***** video, however, it seems as though his school lets you vote for the person to make the valedictorian (most important, last, longest, normally least interesting) speech. That's the whole point of what he's doing. Asking them to pick him.
        • megaton, on 04/29/2008, -0/+18Fair enough, friend. I am coming from an ignorant standpoint. Thank you for your clarification.
          • blahtastic, on 04/29/2008, -1/+16Oh. Wow. After being nice like that, sorry for the ***** video part I guess, lol. Figured you were just being an ass without watching anything.

            Also, this is pretty much required on digg, my apologies in advance. I'm not your friend, guy.
          • adminmatt, on 04/29/2008, -1/+12kodak moment?
          • megaton, on 04/29/2008, -0/+11I know, man. It's all cool. I watched it, but obviously missed something. Just doing my (little) part to keep teh Internets civil. ;)

            You were right and I was not.
          • RoboB0b, on 04/29/2008, -0/+11Does this mean the internet is going to explode?
          • NoStoppingUs, on 04/29/2008, -5/+3what is this? where is the hatred?

            just for that, i hope you both die.
          • Dohko_Xar, on 04/29/2008, -0/+4oh wow, people are being nice:)
        • centerblack, on 04/29/2008, -7/+3I'm not your friend guy!
      • themastersb, on 04/29/2008, -1/+3Actually in a lot of schools I know of they're voted for.
      • laserpig, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1you vote for one valedictorian to represent the graduating class. i dunno why.
      • Mswldflwr, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1Who's the retard now, Asshole?
    • noodle469, on 04/29/2008, -0/+27I go to this school, i was there for that speech, it was amazing, and yes we did vote for our Valedictorian, no i wasn't based on grade. That guy did win the vote(44% of the vote if i remember correctly) but due to the school boards intervention didn't win the nomination. Anyways, it ended up on the front page of the paper the next morning. All in all it was blown out of proportion but i have to give the guy credit(i don't know him that well but we have talked) hes got balls.
    • Tyrghast, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1I loved the Recess reference
  • killbert24, on 04/29/2008, -15/+151Genius. Cerebral cortex. Insults of human culture. Jews are funny!
    • cvxdes1, on 04/29/2008, -1/+17I predict, in the future, all of those will become internet memes.
    • skyshock1, on 04/29/2008, -15/+3Talking ABOAT. That puke won't wash OAT. Wayne Gretzky isn't coming to my HOSE to sign my things. Talking ABOAT. Point OAT how great I am.

      Could this knob be anymore stereotypical Canadian?
      • coderdevo, on 04/29/2008, -0/+10How is an accent a stereotype? You have an accent too.
      • endersshadow, on 04/29/2008, -0/+14From somebody with a Canadian accent: Shut the hell up. The kid's Canadian. He speaks with a Canadian accent. Amazingly, that's how those things happen.
      • j0c1f3r, on 04/29/2008, -5/+1how typically american of you......trying to bash something that isnt american't.....
        • skyshock1, on 04/29/2008, -0/+4I'm Canadian. I don't have a ridiculous accent. I can say /ə'baʊ̯t/ the correct way. Nice attempt at pigeon holing me based on a 2-line post on the Internet, but you fail.
      • TheBottleOpener, on 04/29/2008, -4/+0Could you be any more of a stereotypical American?
        • philosophile, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0Could you be any more of a stereotypical non-American who points out stereotypical Americans?
      • Myonosken, on 04/29/2008, -3/+2Trust me mate, American accents are the worst in the world.
        • philosophile, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0OMG I"M SO OFFENDED MY BEAUTIFUL ACCENT !! :((

          Canadians think they have a unique accent because the pronounce one word in a hundred differently. If American accents are "the worst in the world" on your view, then so are Canadian accents.

          Unlike British accents, which (in America) automatically confer more authority to what you're saying, Australian accents just make you sound uncivilized.
        • pigducksheep, on 05/03/2008, -0/+1I love how you had to throw mate in there to try and let us all know you have an accent.
  • Slices, on 04/29/2008, -27/+3I dunno what is selling, but I want some.
  • synystar, on 04/29/2008, -6/+429Parker Lang is one helluva a good sport. =)
    • BestJaxx, on 04/29/2008, -5/+48Helluva a...?
    • Scaryclouds, on 04/29/2008, -0/+7Well it is cleaner...
      • diggit83, on 04/29/2008, -1/+6My ***** is cleaner than any public toilet seat thank you....
        • BestJaxx, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2He means cleaner for people who later have to sit down on the toilet.
    • SmokeyBong, on 04/29/2008, -11/+9hes canadian there good sports up there, and not bunch of dicks like us good americans.
    • synystar, on 04/29/2008, -1/+11Sorry for the typo. I sometimes do that when speak sometimes too. Confuses the hell outta of people.
      • BestJaxx, on 04/30/2008, -0/+2It's ok, I was just milking the opputunity for some diggs.
    • fxu1989, on 04/29/2008, -0/+28The teacher and her rack.

      http://www.emcs.sd62.bc.ca/?page=staff/tenhove

      (Gathered from below, just upping the link a few posts)
      • peterapokotos, on 04/29/2008, -0/+5Good I have been wanting to see the rack in question! Talk about an XServe!
      • evilgeniuscow, on 04/29/2008, -1/+6She enjoys running. Haha.
    • wejmahtin, on 04/29/2008, -2/+0Or he pees sitting down like a little girl.
  • Gillos, on 04/29/2008, -16/+33That was great. I would love to see the follow-up speech (if he got the vote. probably not, too many losers wouldn't vote for him)
  • balloonenstein, on 04/29/2008, -40/+3Break is blocked at work, youtube link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=8AUtzJMTUW8
    • mille716, on 04/29/2008, -2/+18I don't even have to click on this link to know its BS. No office would block break.com but leave free access to youtube. You sir are a liar.
    • tones1, on 04/29/2008, -0/+14What the *****? You're an idiot.
    • p00pd0g, on 04/29/2008, -1/+4HATE
  • rebotfc, on 04/29/2008, -9/+78Dude's got a future!
    • killbert24, on 04/29/2008, -11/+2And others don't?
      • Issius, on 04/29/2008, -1/+25Most likely they don't. Have you been to a high school recently?
        • jon30041, on 04/29/2008, -2/+5That one's in Canada. You hear the part about Gretzky? And all the 'oot's?
      • Lanlost, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1I'm sure he was being deadpanly literal.

        /'twas the reaction I had.
    • feshmania, on 04/29/2008, -0/+48Yeah, with hair like that one day he'll build a time machine out of a Delorean and go Back to the Future.
    • antler, on 04/29/2008, -0/+20So did I, once. So did I...
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8qcwjuVE30
      • ThumperThumps, on 04/29/2008, -0/+13wow, randomly this was my graduation. I graduated from CHS in 1999. who are you?
      • chrisegilbert, on 04/29/2008, -0/+2My god - compared to the Canadian dude's speech, I actually laughed (several times) during your speech. Good *****.
    • mrblonde314, on 04/29/2008, -3/+1As a ***** Dane Cook impersonator?
  • JlmAWP, on 04/29/2008, -3/+328His head is on hair.
    • Neoanarchist, on 04/29/2008, -5/+41THAT IS AWESOME! One of the single greatest comments ever. Thank you good sir.
      • JlmAWP, on 04/29/2008, -0/+20I didn't think anyone would get it. I guess I'm not the only one with an odd sense of humor. I love the Digg comments.
        • centerblack, on 04/29/2008, -2/+12Yea I don't get it but I'll digg you up and give other people a chance to figure it out.

          :D
        • DarkDx, on 04/29/2008, -2/+13EXPLAIN
    • designlover, on 04/29/2008, -0/+4I agree with neonarchist. Stupid funny comment. Actually he looks like a troll doll but without pink hair.
    • lordzelo, on 04/29/2008, -0/+4That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. Props.
  • newsfully, on 04/29/2008, -8/+62*About
  • wille1623, on 04/29/2008, -26/+8if that was on youtube it would have like 30,000,000 views. that had to be the funniest thing ive ever seen
  • fishgeekva, on 04/29/2008, -5/+188ahhh Canada.
    • ligyron, on 04/29/2008, -4/+16We do have the best valedictorian speeches
      • staticoranges, on 04/29/2008, -0/+13*O, Canada.
        • Chaoticfist, on 04/29/2008, -4/+14Our home and native land!
          True patriot love in all thy sons command.
          With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
          The True North strong and free!
          From far and wide, O Canada,
          We stand on guard for thee.
          God keep our land glorious and free!
          O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
          O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


          I love this country :)
        • travis1982, on 04/29/2008, -1/+2Me too.
    • Ockniel, on 04/29/2008, -5/+2Canadia?
    • jmask5, on 04/29/2008, -1/+6Best Country Ever
    • B3000, on 04/29/2008, -1/+2Oh Canada.
    • SwiftKick34, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1I was surprised to find that his head didn't bounce up and down and separate from his lower head whilst he talked.
  • Goodanswer, on 04/29/2008, -4/+340Amusing that the camera man turned to see the "Nice Rack" that wasn't there .
    • DeathWish808, on 04/29/2008, -2/+43LOL......I noticed the same thing. He must have been in her class, but failed due to looking at her "assets" and nothing else.
      • sexybobo, on 04/29/2008, -17/+4The person with a nice rack was a teacher
      • Anorhc, on 04/29/2008, -9/+3"He must have been in her class, but failed due to looking at her "assets" and nothing else."

        And that's why he's a valedictorian, right? Right?!
  • CCunitz, on 04/29/2008, -2/+122his competitor's comments were pretty funny too.
    a nice retort after a scathing attack on his urination habits.
    • rotten777, on 04/29/2008, -0/+17I couldn't understand what his competitor said. Cliff notes?
      • centerblack, on 04/29/2008, -0/+24"It's more cleanly, there's less clean up, and the ladies don't have to worry about the seat being up, that's all i'm gonna say"
  • BetterThanYou, on 04/29/2008, -13/+83How aboot them Canadians eh? :)
    • daizaru, on 04/29/2008, -16/+10hah... hah... generic Canadian joke is hilarious... must... regain... composure... just so funny compared to that speech. Aboot... how original and fresh! You sir should look into a career in stand up comedy.
    • Heavypettingzoo, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1"More cheers more beers, eh?! That's it, that's all!"
    • bonedead, on 04/29/2008, -0/+5Noo doot aboot it eh
  • Prototek, on 04/29/2008, -27/+386Anyone else detecting a huge Dane Cook influence? His deliver, observations, and timing seem similar in style.
    • rotten777, on 04/29/2008, -20/+3How much like it? Was it the same cat?
      (waits to see who gets the reference)
    • Danby123, on 04/29/2008, -14/+3and in style to every other stand up comic.
    • wutimatang, on 04/29/2008, -4/+118The whole washing the vomit stained clothes bit immediately made me think of Dane Cook, that was definitely the weakest part of the whole speech.
      • shondell, on 04/29/2008, -0/+16yea i could tell he was expecting big laughs from the vomit story but he didnt even get a chuckle.
    • blahtastic, on 04/29/2008, -4/+26His voice and face sorta had a Shia Labeouf thing going. I didn't think he was too Dane Cookey aside from the vomit bit, like said above. Dane Cook would have made some voice and yelled before the end of 7 minutes.
      • keatonkeaton998, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1Yeah he definitely reminded me of Shia Labeouf
    • igraham09, on 04/29/2008, -8/+81Yeah, I got that vibe too... Except this guy is funny.
      • Servebot, on 04/29/2008, -0/+5we wouldn't think he was funny if he had an hbo special though.
      • toekneebullard, on 04/29/2008, -0/+2I wish I could digg you twice.
    • lgmar16, on 04/29/2008, -0/+6VERY Dane Cook vibe, im with ya..the inflection in his voice, style of jokes, etc.
    • OneLess, on 04/29/2008, -0/+13Are you trying to suggest that, in true Dane Cook style, he stole the speech from someone else?
    • badjoke, on 04/29/2008, -1/+13Amazing Dane Cook parody, btw:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMV4kwbSdw4
    • patch6, on 04/29/2008, -0/+5Just as headache inducing.
    • TheCheeks, on 04/29/2008, -0/+8Slight Dane Cook influence but it wasn't too bothersome until he got to the vomit part. I hate Dane Cook style comedy.
    • mrblonde314, on 04/29/2008, -6/+5Influence?! His entire tone and delivery is exactly like that piece of *****'s. In true fashion he probably stole the speech too. Typical high school comedic routine. Say things you're not supposed to say, like your teacher has a huge rack, to get some cheap laughs at other people's expense... Wow. Hilarious.... So funny I want to shoot myself in the face.
    • Lanlost, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Please don't compare anyone to Dane Cook unless they truly deserve it. Oh.. and I WILL be childish (because it's true) and note that I disliked Cook from near the beginning. When I heard one of his CDs I didn't particularly like or dislike it.. However, seeing him in action was another story altogether. I usually hate when people do this but I believe I deserve it from the practical loss of friendship over the issue.

      "You don't like Dane Cook? You must be gay."
      If you have had to deal with this, I feel for you.
    • Sheeplike, on 04/30/2008, -0/+0Yeah kinda reminded me of him, expect this kid wrote his own material.
  • scot333, on 04/29/2008, -53/+39i didn't laugh once.
    • killbert24, on 04/29/2008, -4/+95I don't think it is the humor that is what is amazing, it is more the fact that he had the balls to say that stuff in front of the principal, students, teachers, etc. Could you do that?
      • Issius, on 04/29/2008, -17/+5Yes, I could. However.. I think my school is more laid back than most so I'm not sure that it means much. Plus I know all of the administration because of various awards and they are mostly ok about things like this. Besides, its senior year. Who cares?
    • synystar, on 04/29/2008, -2/+20I didn't laugh either. Much. I dugg it because it's difficult to stand in front dozens of people and say anything at all.
    • megaton, on 04/29/2008, -3/+9...I laughed MORE than once.

      Seriously, though, I didn't laugh at all. But I respected the guy's wit and style. I wish he had slipped a couple meaningful messages into the rant, but that was still a fantastic show.
    • Slitchy, on 04/29/2008, -2/+9Didnt Laugh UNTIL the retort... that was a clever quick witted come back.... The first guy was a dime a dozen in my high school, the true talent is held by 2nd guy....
    • PHiZ187, on 04/29/2008, -0/+3That wasn't the game.
  • SmellyFingers, on 04/29/2008, -14/+124Dude got pussy that day.
    • acroyear2, on 04/29/2008, -0/+84Hopefully from the teacher with a nice rack.
      • fxu1989, on 04/29/2008, -0/+9That only happens in Florida.
        • peterapokotos, on 04/29/2008, -0/+3Not when I was a kid... of course we didn't have teachers that looked they do today. I would had to be excused from P.E. class to keep up.
      • pigducksheep, on 05/03/2008, -0/+1That's legend status right there.
  • proseandpromise, on 04/29/2008, -27/+175Yeah. Just as funny as Dane Cook. Makes me want to jump out of a window.
    • UtopiaInTheSky, on 04/29/2008, -13/+30He's clearly imitating Dane Cook. What he was saying might have been funny, but his annoying resemblence to that horrible excuse for a Comedian just destroyed the video for me.
    • Haz3rd, on 04/29/2008, -9/+37I don't think was imitating Dane Cook. If he was, he would be screaming and jumping around, not telling any jokes....
      • peterapokotos, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1Aren't you thinking of Steve Balmer?
    • scotishstriker, on 04/29/2008, -3/+7glad i watched the video before reading the comments because i did not make that connection during the vid
    • daizaru, on 04/29/2008, -3/+19People hate dane cook because he steals jokes and is sometimes way to energetic. That guy had maybe a little bit of his style but was quite laid back and original
    • Marvelboy, on 04/29/2008, -3/+21Really? Because I didn't see him jump around like a retarded chimp on ecstasy at all.
    • centerblack, on 04/29/2008, -2/+1Do it, jump! I'll catch you.
  • jessestorm, on 04/29/2008, -5/+390I thought Valedictorian meant highest marks?
    • Bagration, on 04/29/2008, -15/+3Most schools pick Valedictorian from the students with the top 10ish marks
    • matt11885, on 04/29/2008, -3/+55Thats how it was at my high school. We never had a speech for it.
    • daizaru, on 04/29/2008, -4/+23yeah that concept died a long time ago, now it's just as much a popularity contest as anything else.
    • lpxxfaintxx2, on 04/29/2008, -1/+48Maybe it's something Canadian.
      • 16777216, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1probably.
      • riskybeats, on 04/29/2008, -0/+35Not at my school, based purely on marks. And how far you could toss the school beaver.
        • diggit83, on 04/29/2008, -0/+7there is a joke in there somewhere......hold on
      • Octanus, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1We had a speech for my (Canadian) school's Valedictorian
      • ejhops, on 04/29/2008, -0/+2At my high school in Canada, the Valedictorian is voted in. The kids with the best marks have their own awards, but the true representation of the student body isn't the one that got 100% on every test.
        • cephelo, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1US Valedictorians are different. They are the highest marked students, there are other positions that are voted in, e.g., student body president, that also are part of the graduation ceremony. Usually the Student President is popularity, school spirit, etc while the valedictorian/salutatorian speech(es) are about future, intelligence, etc. Both have been integral parts of every graduation I've attended.
      • bartofdahammer, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1Yeah at my school, the valedictorian was voted in.
    • allengeer, on 04/29/2008, -7/+46that's retarded... valedictorian is for the one with the highest grades. wtf with electing a valedictorian.
      • cnot3, on 04/29/2008, -1/+8If recent elections have taught us anything, its that the majority always knows best.
    • pyro789x, on 04/29/2008, -0/+7At my school it was anybody with a (weighted) 4.0 or above
    • MeHow, on 04/29/2008, -1/+6AT my canadian highschool, there were two votes, one was valedictorian based on highest marks... then the other one was some other title, like most inflectional or best student representative of the student body...

      but, i didnt go that boring *****, my school were filled with boring ass jesus freaks
    • Mohanade, on 04/29/2008, -4/+0I don't think the speech says anything about his IQ.. for all i know , he could be a genius!. A Funny Genius!..
    • k1down, on 04/29/2008, -1/+7At my school the valedictorian was the top of the class with the highest marks. I didn't know it was a popularity speech thing everywhere else. Leave it to Alabama to keep it old school..
      • Lith25, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1hell yea
      • ph070sh0p, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1Its not that easy at every school. With over 1000 people in the graduating class at my school, there are many people that have the highest marks. It would be a big tie.
        • k1down, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1We had a school of 3.8k. It works. There is always the most perfect. They all had A's. One was more 5.0 than the rest. She went to Princeton and now lives in London lol... so yeah.. follow your dreams kids..
        • cephelo, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1Similar here. I think my class ended up with 8 people tied for "rank 1." Two shared the valedictorian speech, the others didn't mind conceding it, although they were part of the graduation ceremony. A few years after I graduated they changed it so the grade points are tied to percentages, e.g., a 95% A is worth more than a 93% A. The marks were also changed to more collegiate levels, A meaning 94-100, B 88-93, etc, instead of the more traditional 90-100 = A.
    • JupiterSSJ4, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1my class was only 150 people, the valedictorian was the highest gpa. There were 7 people that got straight A's their entire high school(over 4.0 with weighted classes) and the difference in gpa was only because of the different classes they took. Valedictorian gave them credit though during her speech at graduation because of only the class differences.
    • Trichomonas, on 04/29/2008, -0/+5In Canada it's nominated by the class...which is BS because usually the person who gets nominated doesn't really deserve it (marks or community/school involvement wise).
    • Heavypettingzoo, on 04/29/2008, -1/+1In Canada we don't have the same grading scheme as you guys... none of this 4 point system. you graduate with a percentage and that's it. When you think about it, the top student generally wouldn't represent the majority of students anyways.
    • toekneebullard, on 04/29/2008, -0/+3Canadians do a lot of stuff weird. I hear they're born in maple syrup rather than amniotic fluid.
      • PDG1, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1it's true... and half of us are actually born with a fur coat
        it sheds shortly after birth
    • xstarsprinklesx, on 04/30/2008, -0/+1At my school graduation (Florida) we had speeches by the Valedictorian (highest GPA), Salutatorian (2nd highest), Class President, SGA President, and Senior Speaker (voted by the class).
  • hazard99, on 04/29/2008, -4/+157What's up with the DBZ hair style...
    • cocaclay, on 04/29/2008, -0/+21I didn't know Vegeta went to high school
      • freshgrease, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1I could have sworn he failed kindergarden.
    • nonstop87, on 04/29/2008, -4/+90It's obviously because his power level is over 9000!!!!
      • centerblack, on 04/29/2008, -0/+8OT 8!
      • w00kiekrisp, on 04/29/2008, -0/+31What! 9000?
        • j3ff86, on 04/29/2008, -1/+4There's no way that could be right! Can it?!
      • celkin, on 04/29/2008, -3/+1Finally, someone's using that meme correctly.
        • kodek, on 04/29/2008, -2/+2No, they're not. It was Goku's power level that was OVER 9000! Vegeta was the one stating it.
    • xchrisxsays, on 04/29/2008, -12/+3What's up with the DBZ reference...
    • fxu1989, on 04/29/2008, -0/+3KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • greenlight2001, on 04/29/2008, -59/+80That was lame.
  • KBailey1734, on 04/29/2008, -9/+32Aren't we supposed to just have stuck up booknerds as valedictorians?
  • Dumbledorito, on 04/29/2008, -24/+24Last time I checked, you don't vote for valedictorian. I'm guessing the person who tagged the vid (and wrote the speech) didn't graduate top of their class... probably due to lack of voter turnout. :)
    • macguy815, on 04/29/2008, -0/+45Valedictorian is latin for goodbye speaker, and salutatorian latin for greeting speaker (a salute is a greeting). In canada, I suppose they actually use the term with its proper meaning. In the US, we decided it was most fair to have the speaker be appointed by GPA or something. That's how the meaning of the word changed.
      • brownsound00, on 04/29/2008, -0/+2Well at my high school (in Canada) we had a few people that were nominated. but a major portion of the nomination was grades and school involvement... so we couldn't have some random guy get up there and do stuff. although i kinda wish there was...because i don't even remember the speech.
        nonetheless, we were able to vote... but it was from a few people determined by grades and involvement. 2 of the 3 people were pretty funny (like this guy), but the person who actually won wasn't. so it sucked.
      • bovilexia, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1i don't really see how the U.S. changed the meaning. it's still the last speaker at graduation, who gives a farewell speech. which IMO fits the definition you gave. there's just different variation from institution to institution on how that person gets selected to give the valedictory address.
      • Myonosken, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1God bless democracy~
    • Issius, on 04/29/2008, -1/+6Some schools do vote for valedictorian. At least for the speeches. Generally you have people at the top who don't know most of the kids in the school because they had top classes their whole high school career. So yea, some do vote for it. Next time check yourself before you make generalizations.
    • brettmurf, on 04/29/2008, -2/+7Last I checked, if you watch the video he clearly states that hes trying to get voted for the valedictorian speech position. If I actually had to make a conjecture, it would be that he was one of the people that graduated at top of the class and their peers choose who becomes their speaker.
      But who actually goes to the content that Digg links to. It is much easier to just comment without actually viewing what you are commenting on.
    • LifeIsARhythm, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1In high school it went to the top of the class, but at my college they take the top 25 students (i think) and they are eligible to apply and submit their speech and the professors pick the best one to speak.
  • Zekaer, on 04/29/2008, -6/+173-4 minutes?
  • andrew97068, on 04/29/2008, -5/+85The hair alone is worth a digg.
  • ncapone, on 04/29/2008, -14/+44Hey, it's Dane Cook Jr.!
    • Cimlite, on 04/29/2008, -6/+29Except he's actually funny...
    • MrTankJump, on 04/29/2008, -4/+1He didn't remind me of Dane Cook as much as he reminded me of Steven Colbert.
  • colasrtney, on 04/29/2008, -27/+6Stopped watching at Jews being naturally funny/Seinfeld being nominated for Valedictorian, it's not a popularity contest.
    • ho0ber, on 04/29/2008, -0/+10I guess you don't quite understand the concept of voting then.
      • colasrtney, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1I thought it was given to the person with the highest GPA?!
    • macbwizard, on 04/29/2008, -1/+1How can you vote for valedictorian? The valedictorian is simply the person with the highest GPA.
      • Myonosken, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1No it isn't. That's the US's concept of it.
  • tehknotte, on 04/29/2008, -18/+11Is that lil' Dane Cook?
  • gravityboard, on 04/29/2008, -16/+45reminds me too much of Dane Cook to enjoy...
  • Jondi10, on 04/29/2008, -1/+19I wish my high school had let us vote for Valedictorian speech. We had some suck up cheating chick do ours.
  • TipsyMcDoodle, on 04/29/2008, -33/+4he lost me when he said "Anyways..." - "Anyway" is proper grammar. But I have to hand this kid props speaking loosely in front of these kids.
    • mille716, on 04/29/2008, -0/+6Picky, picky, picky...
    • megaton, on 04/29/2008, -0/+8I dugg you up for being a square. And the fact that it's probably as close to a friend as you'll ever get.

      Otherwise, shut up.
    • follower64, on 04/29/2008, -0/+4Hail, grammar Nazi
    • daizaru, on 04/29/2008, -1/+14Anyways...
  • klick37, on 04/29/2008, -10/+4I want to be that guy.
  • mastazed, on 04/29/2008, -8/+8LOOK AT THAT WALL!!!
  • kolinkoolface2, on 04/29/2008, -4/+13aboot.
    • shwang, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1I've never understood why people say it sounds like aBOOT.... it sounds like aBOAT
  • FeloniusMonkey, on 04/29/2008, -3/+238RUF-I-O! RUF-I-O! RUF-I-O!
    (c'mon, you've seen Hook)
    • noahgelman, on 04/29/2008, -1/+12Dugg for Hook reference
    • megaton, on 04/29/2008, -1/+34I usually stop at, "RUF-I"...

      (And she stops at "ooooooh")
      • DephexTwin, on 04/29/2008, -1/+17It's funny because it implies date rape.
    • theshizzler, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1Lookie, lookie, I got Hookie.
    • yohnstoppable, on 04/29/2008, -0/+2You are fart factory, cheesy, scab picked, pimple squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side.
      • FeloniusMonkey, on 04/29/2008, -0/+2If I'm a maggot burger, why don't you EAT ME, you two-toned zebra-headed paramecium brain, munchin' on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy?
  • nycmac247, on 04/29/2008, -8/+26MORE SERIOUS THAN AIDS!!!11!!
  • Soave, on 04/29/2008, -1/+44Camera guy can't go 5 seconds without adjusting himself or zooming in or out.
  • Shissy, on 04/29/2008, -4/+5I want to know what city this is in lol.
    • samuraipizzacat, on 04/29/2008, -0/+6Victoria, BC
    • glennkachmar, on 05/07/2008, -0/+1I am a teacher in Victoria (I loved the speech) and one of my coworkers got their gas pumped by the valedictorian guy. I fear he will still be pumping gas in 20 years, but I hope he runs for office. He's got my vote

      Glenn
  • Aulë, on 04/29/2008, -0/+161The legend of her rack has now hit the internet, its time for confirmation
    • baysidecomedy, on 04/29/2008, -0/+29haha, the internet is waiting...
    • andreegal, on 04/29/2008, -0/+16Eagerly...
    • quantumdoor, on 04/29/2008, -1/+175Accidentally replied below...
      From http://www.emcs.sd62.bc.ca/?page=staff/tenhove
      "This is her first year at EMCS. In previous years she taught at Belmont and Spencer. "
      From http://belmont.sd62.bc.ca/
      " APRIL REMINDERS Tuesday 22 - Valedictorian Speeches during Block 3"
      Plus, Belmont's mascot is a bulldog.
      • reduxien, on 04/29/2008, -18/+4stalker
      • EllimistX, on 04/29/2008, -1/+109People like you are the reason I have such great faith in the internet....
      • timfrietas, on 04/29/2008, -0/+19Kudos, my friend. Kudos.
      • Scaryclouds, on 04/29/2008, -0/+24Teh internets are incredible!
      • daEvan, on 04/29/2008, -0/+56Wow, I didn't really think we would actually get a pic. You win the internetz for the day.
      • Cunninlynguist, on 04/29/2008, -0/+27nice rack indeed
      • jaydoj, on 04/29/2008, -3/+12That kid speaks the truth, she DOES have a nice rack, I know from experience dude, if you know what i mean....
      • alittleroy101, on 04/29/2008, -0/+6The internet never ceases to amaze me. How did I live without it?
      • Greengoo, on 04/29/2008, -1/+3I have never dugg a comment so hard in my life. Bravo good sir, bravo.
      • PersonX2, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1Damn! Best teacher rack ever!
      • theshizzler, on 04/29/2008, -0/+6The site admins are going to see thousands of hits on just this teacher's page and be like "wtf?"
      • omnirusa, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Oh my, she likes running.... WIN!
    • ADA531, on 04/29/2008, -0/+4SAUCE? MOAR!
    • TH3W1R3D, on 04/29/2008, -10/+1http://www.emcs.sd62.bc.ca/?page=staff/tenhove
      • jakobmakob, on 04/29/2008, -0/+5Good thing I missed the link from four inches up my screen. You saved the day.
    • byrdgang, on 04/29/2008, -0/+2I command you teh Internets to combine into one force so that we may all enjoy a look at a great pair of *****. Bring those ***** to me, I say. You will be rewarded indeed for your service by teh Internets community.
    • hexobolic, on 04/29/2008, -0/+9That ten Hove is one hot piece of ace, I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean...Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her *got it on*. Wooo-eee!
    • WolverineBlue, on 04/29/2008, -4/+1I invoke rule 34!
  • tedlove, on 04/29/2008, -16/+3fake
  • funkytommyman, on 04/29/2008, -5/+16You won't succeed in graduation if you don't have any Jews
  • darkhero, on 04/29/2008, -2/+34Only in Canada.
    • exomni, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1I know what you're all thinking aboot.
      • philosophile, on 04/30/2008, -1/+0Only in Canada? That doesn't make any goddamn sense. I guess Canada has ***** humor. This guy is so fake. "hur hur I have an outrageous haircut and say offensive funny things about people and don't care about my school but i'm its valedictorian so that makes me counterculture and edgy " And jesus, has this guy lost his identity to Dane Cook or something? It's really sad, especially since Dane Cook sucks. LOL HE DID HEIL HITLER LOLOIOLL. He "doesn't care" about people at his school HE'S TOO COOL LOL.
  • D3koy, on 04/29/2008, -25/+5Am I the only jackass who'd vote for the girl who actually had the highest grades? (yes, we all know it'd be a girl)
    • kolinkoolface2, on 04/29/2008, -1/+8don't ever bitch about a sexist comment in your entire life.
    • rda52, on 04/29/2008, -0/+7in my school its a guy, laziest ***** i know, and smokes weed daily
      he's my hero!
    • RiMac, on 04/29/2008, -0/+10The valedictorian was a dude when I graduated. In fact, the salutatorian was as well.



      I went to an all-guy school.
    • peterapokotos, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1It was an Asian Girl for mine.
  • chubbybubba, on 04/29/2008, -2/+2nice tan.
  • ADA531, on 04/29/2008, -0/+123Seriously. She does have a nice rack.
    • Zcrubby, on 04/29/2008, -0/+16We demand that you show us!
    • Cerius, on 04/29/2008, -0/+7Pics or shens.
    • quantumdoor, on 04/29/2008, -2/+112From http://www.emcs.sd62.bc.ca/?page=staff/tenhove
      "This is her first year at EMCS. In previous years she taught at Belmont and Spencer. "
      From http://belmont.sd62.bc.ca/
      " APRIL REMINDERS Tuesday 22 - Valedictorian Speeches during Block 3"
      hrm...
      • reduxien, on 04/29/2008, -17/+2stalker
        • quantumdoor, on 04/29/2008, -1/+12In retrospect, it was probably irresponsible of me to post that. My bet is that the Edward Milne Community School web admin is going to be a little perplexed by the spike in traffic.
        • Scaryclouds, on 04/29/2008, -0/+13No quantumdoor you have done us all a great service. This is your proudest day on digg.
        • byrdgang, on 04/29/2008, -0/+10quantumdoor, do not shy away from your great civil service. We are all in this together, all looking for the same great pair of *****. Well done, comrade, well done.
        • alittleroy101, on 04/29/2008, -0/+2^^
          cracking me up. Thank you guys.
      • ADA531, on 04/29/2008, -0/+31Impressive. Most impressive.
      • shawnanigans, on 04/29/2008, -0/+7Thank you digg, I can always depend on you to find me the racks in question.
      • DrummerAndrew, on 04/29/2008, -0/+1Nice... looks like a decent rack. Perky...
    • Stevo23, on 04/29/2008, -1/+3Hmm, she enjoys "socializing"...
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