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276 Comments
- Gusbob, on 03/24/2008, -3/+157I like the stephen hawking one, but my favourite will still be
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. - degron, on 03/24/2008, -1/+149I've seen better puns in Digg comments.
- GalacticRerun, on 03/24/2008, -0/+108Wall-to-wall carpeting.
- GalacticRerun, on 03/24/2008, -2/+103Puns are far better when they are created around real situations. And not situations built around making a made-up pun work. I was expecting better than this.
- inactive, on 03/24/2008, -5/+98Damn, I sent in 10 puns for this contest to see if any of them would win but no pun in ten did.
- inactive, on 03/24/2008, -2/+86that is so dumb
- Conwaysb0718, on 03/24/2008, -1/+84I'm very disappointed in the super-smartedness of your brother.
- doctechnical, on 03/24/2008, -0/+78A nurse is making her rounds at the hospital, she goes to make a notation on a patient's chart and pulls a thermometer from behind her ear. Looking at the thermometer she exclaims "Some ***** has my pen!"
The veal, the waitress, try'em both... - MikeonTV, on 03/24/2008, -2/+71I tried reading them all but I had to stop. I just can't take the punishment.
- samk, on 03/24/2008, -0/+63Radio Shack is giving away dead batteries. Free of charge.
- lohphat, on 03/24/2008, -0/+57...and then the Chinese miner jumped out and yelled: "Supplies!"
/got nuthin - inactive, on 03/24/2008, -3/+56that was the worst thing i've ever read.
- ricemonster, on 03/24/2008, -0/+52I like the editors note the best:
"Feminine hygiene jokes are the lowest form of humor. Period." - Emused, on 03/24/2008, -4/+55I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, then a frontal lobotomy.
- AbsurdParadox, on 03/24/2008, -1/+51Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that the soles of his feet became quite thick and hard.
Being a very spiritual person, he ate very little, and often fasted. As a result, he was quite thin and frail.
Furthermore, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath.
He came to be known as a....
"Super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis." - TheNatMan, on 03/24/2008, -7/+57Honestly, guys. I don't get the "carp-to-carp walleting" one. I read it aloud 20 times in a row. I asked my brother, who's older than me and usually gets puns because he's super smart, and he didn't get it either. In all seriousness, what the hell is that supposed to mean?!?!?
- serif69, on 03/24/2008, -0/+41A captain walks into a bar with a ship's wheel that appears to be stuck to his fly. The bartender says to him, "It must be a pain to carry that thing around like that." The captain replied, "Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts."
- inactive, on 03/24/2008, -7/+44well I guess no pun in ten did.
- amanilaenvelope, on 03/24/2008, -2/+39Talking to her about computer hardware I made my mother board.
* rimshot
He dropped a computer on his toes and had megahertz.
* rimshot
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
*rimshot - peaceninja, on 03/24/2008, -2/+38Q: What do you call a psychic fugitive midget?
A: A small medium at large. - Uranium118, on 03/24/2008, -0/+36Trying to write with a broken pencil is pointless.
- oreonblade, on 03/24/2008, -4/+38That's just your opunion.
- doctechnical, on 03/24/2008, -3/+35A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. As the bartender pours it for him he sees the place is empty. He says to the bartender "I know I'm new in town, but this place seems dead."
The bartender says "I reckon everyone is up at the hanging."
Cowboy asks "Who are they hanging?"
Bartender responds "The law finally caught up with ol' Brown Paper Pete."
Cowboy: "Brown Paper Pete? What kind of a name is that?"
Bartender: "You've never heard of him? He's notorious around these parts! Where's brown paper pants, brown paper shirt, brown paper vest, he's even got a brown paper hat."
Cowboy: "Now ain't that a caution. What are they hangin' him for?"
Bartender: "Rustlin'." - Robozilla, on 03/24/2008, -5/+36Buried for so much suck.
- rolfeman02, on 03/24/2008, -0/+30The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
- amanilaenvelope, on 03/24/2008, -1/+30you got pun'd
- loganhid, on 03/24/2008, -7/+36some of these are epic fail
- unicronband, on 03/24/2008, -3/+30OH MAN! Someone send this guy to the Punitentiary.
- doctechnical, on 03/24/2008, -1/+26I'm sorry. A termite walks into a bar and says "Where's the bar tender?"
- f3l1x, on 03/24/2008, -2/+26Dorky? Oh c'mon, a good pun is it's own re-word.
- RealmDown, on 03/24/2008, -0/+21I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me, than a pre-frontal lobotomy.
- unicronband, on 03/24/2008, -0/+21Engrish puns, eh?
So the optometrist says "You have a cataract"
The Asian man relies, "No, no. I dlive Rincoln Continenter" - daborg, on 03/24/2008, -2/+22I think that's possibly the least funny joke I've ever heard.
- moletimer, on 03/24/2008, -2/+21That's just not punny.
- Rekzai, on 03/24/2008, -0/+19From the comments:
You know, I was hoping out of this list of puns one would have really jumped out at me.
But no pun in ten did. - Bleeh, on 03/24/2008, -1/+20A good pun is it's own reword
- inactive, on 03/24/2008, -3/+21epic fail
- bajesus, on 03/24/2008, -1/+18"You know there was rumors of anti-Castro pigeons seen drinking in bars... Someone overhead them saying 'coup, coup'"
- Devaney, on 03/24/2008, -0/+17congratulations, you are now the 4th person to post that joke...and each repeat has a worse delivery than the previous
- kidneyd08, on 03/24/2008, -2/+19you'd figure that a competition to find the best pun IN THE WORLD!! would have more news coverage...
- mykalimba, on 03/24/2008, -0/+17That's better than any of the ones from the article.
- LiquidIse, on 03/24/2008, -3/+19It looks like someone has DUGG these servers a grave.
AHAHAHHAHAHahhahahahahahaha.......ahaha........................ha..... /suicide - tadhgisaledgend, on 03/24/2008, -1/+17A baby seal walks into a club.
The End. - unicronband, on 03/24/2008, -1/+17"I see what you did there" said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.
- protogenxl, on 03/24/2008, -7/+23Venn ist das nurnstuck git und slotermeyer? Ya! Beigerhund das oder die flipperwaldt gersput!
- peaceninja, on 03/24/2008, -0/+16agreed, that one's got my vote. puns are funnier when they come unexpected
- Joel32, on 03/24/2008, -1/+17these are like something my friends dad would tell us and we give the courtesy laugh. Brutal.
- SushiCW, on 03/24/2008, -0/+15Better than half the ones on the list. Nice!
- DJCult, on 03/24/2008, -3/+18heh. heh heh. HEH. HA HA. HA AH AH AHHHA AAHA AHAHHAHAHHHH*urk*
- Crazychipmunk, on 03/24/2008, -0/+14Yea, its like getting punched.
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