digg

Facebook Connect Join Digg About

Bush Lets War Widow Punch His Arm Once

theonion.com — WASHINGTON—In an unprecedented gesture of apology, President Bush allowed widow Mary Holt, 32, to punch him once on the left arm Monday as retribution for the death of her husband, Marine Pfc. David Holt, who was killed in a 2007 roadside bomb explosion outside Fallujah.

Who dugg this? Made popular Aug 31, 2008

Digg DudeWhat is Digg?

Digg is a place for people to discover and share content from anywhere on the web. Digg surfaces the best stuff as submitted and voted on by the community. Take the Tour to learn more.

149 Comments

show profanity settings
expand all
  • CivicTV, on 08/14/2009, -3/+216Two for flinching!
  • wwwonka, on 08/31/2008, -3/+164oh man, for a second I thought this was real. Guess after eight years of other unbelievable Bush actions it's hard NOT to believe ***** like this.
  • physco827, on 08/31/2008, -7/+131Should have kicked him in the balls.
  • FishHammer, on 08/31/2008, -8/+118This is the darkest Onion article I've ever seen.
  • junkwheel, on 08/31/2008, -11/+98I did think it was real, before looking at the source. Bush is far dumber than this.
  • AmyVernon, on 08/30/2008, -1/+65that's why it's submitted under "offbeat/comedy" and not "news"
  • Morghin, on 08/31/2008, -3/+66The article didn't even twitch my smiling muscles until this part;
    "After delivering the blow, Holt reportedly sustained massive internal hemorrhaging when five Secret Service agents tackled the grieving widow to the ground", where I just couldn't stop laughing. I love the Onion.
  • bullhead2007, on 08/30/2008, -7/+54And the world would be better off without ***** like you around. So please don't have children, or die before you can.

    Signed
    Humanity,
    Thanks
  • inactive, on 08/31/2008, -1/+45I wonder how long the line for this stretches around the capital.
  • MarkOfTheDead, on 08/31/2008, -5/+43Haha, the Onion has STILL got it.
  • SeaweedWater, on 08/31/2008, -2/+39way to ruin an onion thread, you guys..
  • ChappyChaps11, on 08/30/2008, -1/+22Lmao! I read this yesterday. No monkey bubbles!
  • lis880, on 08/31/2008, -2/+22I second that.This really could pass for an actual story
  • RobotBuddha, on 08/31/2008, -0/+17I'm long past the point of making assumptions when I see his name linked with something obviously satirical.
  • OneLess, on 08/31/2008, -0/+17Even if they do end up getting submitted as news, you can't tell the difference?
  • browwiw, on 08/31/2008, -1/+16You must masturbate to the Military Channel a lot.
  • ginestony, on 08/31/2008, -0/+15It's funny that I was actually believing it for a minute. That's something bush would be stupid enough to pull if he didn't have his team of fixers around him to tell him "Mr. President, I think that would send the wrong message". The onion never fails to entertain.
  • pwnadog, on 08/31/2008, -0/+15The description starts with theonion.com. Seems obvious enough to me.
  • dedknedy, on 08/31/2008, -0/+14No. The Huffington post is not fake news. It's real. It's liberally biased as hell but it's still legit. It's like the polar opposite of FOX News.
  • missingnoh4x, on 08/31/2008, -0/+13I read the headline and description and was surprised - until seeing the URL. God dammit Onion, got me again.
  • portnoy, on 08/31/2008, -1/+12Geez, I'm such a rube! I didn't even notice this was from the Onion until I saw it mentioned here.
  • staffell, on 08/31/2008, -0/+10The onion brings out the best in people.
  • lead2thehead, on 08/31/2008, -4/+13I'm wondering how many diggers will read this and think it's real.
  • LiberalKid, on 08/31/2008, -1/+10What does that mean, besides that you're an insensitive ***** trying to say than American men who went into service for their country to protect us, dieing is a good thing.

    Wtf is wrong with you.
  • PhillyMJS, on 08/31/2008, -0/+9Reminds me of that old SNL skit where exonerated Atlanta Olympics bombing suspect Richard Jewell had a weekly appointment to punch Janet Reno in the gut.
  • insinuate, on 08/31/2008, -0/+6Damn, I was sitting here going "What?? No way!!"...thanks onion...
  • AmazingSteve, on 08/31/2008, -0/+6I'd be happy with nothing less than sitting on his chest and beating seven shades of ***** out of him with both fists.
  • vpshockwave, on 08/31/2008, -1/+7Pow... right in the kisser?
  • Coling2k2, on 09/01/2008, -1/+7Just out of interest, what is a monkey bubble?
  • triont, on 08/31/2008, -0/+6Why couldn't this be real? Except a kick in the balls instead of a punch to the arm.
  • sx66gns, on 08/31/2008, -1/+7That ***** website , I hate & love it at the same time , it's a paradox.
  • ZenMojo, on 08/31/2008, -0/+6...I thought it was real. For a second, I was going to give Bush props.
  • pigfister, on 08/31/2008, -1/+7the onion is great.
  • stouffer67, on 08/31/2008, -0/+5Seems like a pretty plausible story to me.
  • HippyJM, on 08/31/2008, -0/+5She puts on brass knuckles.
  • browwiw, on 08/31/2008, -2/+7I bet you're the kind of limp dick that thinks XKCD is hilarious.
  • anotherjack, on 08/31/2008, -0/+5@ sc0rpi0n.. I think I love you.

    Remember when Chinese press reported their stories as true? And then denounced the Onion as trickery?
  • Myztry, on 08/31/2008, -0/+5The scene from Flying High would have funny.
    (Snap out of it. Slap. Followed by a queue of people with assorted weapons)
  • inactive, on 08/31/2008, -0/+5silly Chinese, the Onion is for kids!
  • ligyron, on 09/01/2008, -0/+5I thought it was real until I read the last sentence then looked at the URL
  • wgasa, on 09/01/2008, -1/+6i logged in just to bury you, *****
  • jshooter1377, on 08/31/2008, -0/+4She should have punched him in the face or in the balls and claimed bad aim.
  • InRaged, on 08/31/2008, -0/+4You're a moron, considering the author's handful of words has been posted on a reasonably well-known, commercial website.

    What have you published lately?
  • tginmn, on 08/31/2008, -0/+4Too bad he wouldn't accept a duel with real weapons.
  • JPHR, on 08/31/2008, -1/+5Vincent Bugliosi suggests a better and possibly final option.
  • LiberalKid, on 08/31/2008, -0/+4Wut when does fox news make it to the front page? (besides when one of their reporters is made to look like an *****)
  • wisefool9, on 08/31/2008, -0/+4At first I read your comment and thought, 'No, that happened in Airplane.'

    Turns out they're the same movie. Heh.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airplane!
  • 4321234, on 08/31/2008, -0/+3Look at my avatar. I never realized how much I look like Alfred Hitchcock. It's spooky.
  • IronDonut, on 08/31/2008, -1/+4I'd like a shot at that.
  • Fordi, on 08/31/2008, -2/+5What you're not noticing is the brilliant individuals in Germany that got murdered along with the rest of the non aryans who also don't contribute to your hypothetical german gene pool.

    And honestly, the origin of violence is not purely biochemical or even socioeconomic - though these are both heavy contributors. Attributing everything to such simple terms is really naive. If you're going to make a comment that, hypothetically speaking, has very far reaching consequences, you might want to create an entire research-backed model, rather than an off-the-cuff observation in public.
  • Fetching more discussions...
    Show 51 - 100 of 157 discussions

  • Add a Comment

    Login or register to comment!
    Or, sign-in super fast with your Facebook account ...


© Digg Inc. 2009 — Content created and posted by Digg users is dedicated to the public domain | Terms of Use Updated | Privacy Policy
DIGG, DIGG IT, DUGG, DIGG THIS, Digg graphics, logos, designs, page headers, button icons, scripts, and other service names are the trademarks of Digg Inc.