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- alexkim804, on 07/13/2008, -1/+77reminds me of this story:
http://www.bash.org/?261931
Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a ***** up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest ***** in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in *****. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some ***** and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her. - inactive, on 07/12/2008, -1/+60She so knew that it was him...
- ironeus, on 08/01/2008, -2/+52haha doesn't he know windex would only unclog the drain in my Big Fat Greek Wedding?
- Kardde, on 07/12/2008, -0/+47It's on the Internet so it must be true.
- pwnzr, on 07/12/2008, -5/+47One day i woke up with BROWN STUFF SMEARED ALL OVER MY FACE AND IN MY HAIR!
I nearly puked but then realized there was no smell and so I TASTED IT! IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD!!
It was a chocolate i slept wid, forgot its name ;) - Klisk, on 07/13/2008, -1/+41Who the ***** puts a dog to sleep for ***** on something? That's what dogs do.
- Gundabad, on 07/13/2008, -0/+38I once had a friend with a similar experience. He was having anal sex on his parents bed, with a girl for her first time. She ***** on the bed, they blamed it on the dog, and then the parents put that dog to sleep.
- adderx99, on 07/13/2008, -0/+36"...but I don't have a dog..."
- xrisnothing, on 07/13/2008, -0/+25Open beer, drink, repeat
- InetRoadkill, on 07/13/2008, -0/+24He'd gotten away with it if it weren't for the fact the dog was a teacup poodle and the toilet had 2lbs of ***** in it.
- wenfri, on 07/12/2008, -3/+26Have never done that dirty deed but come darn close a few times. Makes me think we need 2 BR's at times
LOL - kavutu, on 07/12/2008, -1/+24Now this makes me want to go snip a loaf on the ex wifes porch!!
- arjung, on 07/13/2008, -0/+21seriously, why would the dog move toward the bathroom?
- Ajajadude, on 07/13/2008, -1/+22A "friend"....riiiiight.
- JT114881, on 07/13/2008, -1/+21Don't worry, you'll never know
- AmyVernon, on 07/12/2008, -2/+22how do you even get *that* drunk?
- inactive, on 07/13/2008, -0/+20That might just be the funniest thing I've read all week.
- brinjalboss, on 07/12/2008, -1/+19unbelievable what happens when a drunk thinks of a good idea!
- inactive, on 07/13/2008, -1/+18wtf is up with these koolaid comments?
- nowsamsara, on 07/13/2008, -1/+18"Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof Woof!"
But seriously. Dog vs human turd?
SO different. In shape, size, _and_ form. - inactive, on 07/13/2008, -0/+16Please tell me that is not common during anal sex...
- louiebaur, on 07/12/2008, -3/+18Yup that damn dog!
- inactive, on 07/13/2008, -0/+15Jesus christ thats brutal.
- inactive, on 07/12/2008, -2/+16man's best friend to take the blame nice.
- inactive, on 07/12/2008, -2/+16Usually dogs just go in one spot, she knew it was you man.
- guptas08, on 07/12/2008, -1/+15ruthlessly hilarious ..........
- KyjL, on 07/13/2008, -1/+15Now that's just lame.
- Tyrghast, on 07/13/2008, -0/+14"the turtle got out of the cage" = priceless...
- ligyron, on 07/13/2008, -0/+13There's no way this can be true. This guy either has a really active imagination or is a certified retard.
- rodwin, on 07/12/2008, -1/+14hilarious....i'm sure she knew..and probably dropped you soon after that!
- i4uron, on 07/12/2008, -3/+16Haha, that's so funny. I wouldn't like to be in his state. lol
- inactive, on 07/12/2008, -1/+14Thats sad and funny at the same time
- inactive, on 07/12/2008, -1/+14It would have been awesome if she stepped in it.
- alex7575, on 07/13/2008, -1/+13A young man gets introduced to his fiancee's well to do family, over dinner at the family's weekend ranch. The nervousness suffocates the poor young man, as the family doesn't seem a bit impressed with him. In fact, the only family member that seems to like him is the old family dog "Stinky", who decides to nap under his chair.
Half way the silently awkward dinner, the stress gets the best of the young groom to be, and a big lump of air seems to form within his bowels. Too embarrassed to excuse himself to the bathroom, unwilling to break the silence, he decides to risk it and pray for a "silent and not deadly" one. As luck would have it, his wish is only met half way, as the stench of the culprit's guts filled the dinner room. A cold sweat drags down the now terrified young man.
To his amazement, the family's matriarch screams: "Stinky! You need to move out!". "She thinks the dog did it!" he thinks to himself.
Just like the noxious gas, his worries seem to just leave his innards, leaving him relieved.
With newfound confidence, he proceeds to nonchalantly let his flatulence overcome the air in the room, with each bout confronted by the old woman yelling at the dog to move. It was almost like an amusing game now, until the motherload got delivered.
The foulness is so overpowering that guests start leaving the table, and the mother-in-law to be (as she gasps for air) mutters towards the dog:
"Stinky, You need to move out, before this ***** ***** on you!" - tm13lke, on 07/13/2008, -3/+15for a second i was real confused as to why you were talking about halo
- inactive, on 07/13/2008, -0/+11Bam! This guy is going to kill himself after he realizes that she knew - haha
- spookyttws, on 07/12/2008, -2/+12Randomness..
- inactive, on 07/13/2008, -0/+10Which is why I live my live by the rule, "If you're drunk, and something seems like a good idea, it probably isn't." Unfortunately, I tend to fall into the logic pits of "Right, this is probably a bad idea - wait, I'm drunk, which means that it must actually be a good idea," and "So what? So long as I stay drunk, it will still be a good idea. I just have to remember not to sober up."
- TheCasablancan, on 07/13/2008, -0/+10To ***** all over the place? No.
To have ***** on you when you pull out? Yeah... some.
Just wear a condom, and have your girl/guy use the restroom/take a shower first. - inactive, on 07/13/2008, -1/+11Good point, this isn't the cat from "meet the fockers"
- inactive, on 07/13/2008, -1/+11Thumbed up for pointing that out
- inactive, on 07/12/2008, -1/+10lol
- inactive, on 07/13/2008, -1/+9Yeah you would know JT, so hows sex with guys going?
- robertstevenson, on 07/12/2008, -3/+11Who let the dog out?
- aballrap, on 07/12/2008, -3/+11GRUNTFUTTOCK
- Apocrypha, on 07/13/2008, -1/+9What a complete moron.
- jackelopeus, on 07/13/2008, -0/+8I do believe I just shat myself...
- Inonz, on 07/13/2008, -0/+8I wanted to see a picture.
- WhoPharted, on 07/13/2008, -0/+7The better question is: What would he have done if there was no dog?
- inactive, on 07/13/2008, -0/+7?RORRIM
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