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Bill Clinton Sadly Folds First Lady Dress Back Into Box

theonion.com — After months of tirelessly supporting his wife on the campaign trail, devoted spouse and former president Bill Clinton breathed a resigned sigh Monday and carefully folded the charcoal silk, fitted sheath dress he had hoped to wear as first lady during next January's inauguration and placed it back in its beautiful box.

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  • greenroom628, on 07/09/2008, -6/+29i wonder if he keeps that dress next to the blue one that monica used (or that he used on monica, badum-bum).
  • Jordan117, on 07/09/2008, -1/+41This is by far the funniest Onion article I've read in a long, long time.

    "Clinton reportedly stood before his bedroom mirror, held the bodice to his torso, straightened his posture before extending a gloved hand outward and, in honeyed, lilting tones, repeated the line, 'Oh, this old thing? Prime Minister Fukuda, you do go on.'"
    • Namco, on 07/10/2008, -0/+8I agree, that was the best one in a long time. There's so much detail in the article which makes it even funnier.


      ***SPOILER***



      And to think that he tries to seduce Barack at the end. LOL
  • jamez, on 07/09/2008, -2/+20As always, I read this on The Onion first, as it is my #1 stop for news, but Dugg for Great Justice anyways..




    FTA "My, my, would you just look at this—all dressed up and no place to go," said Clinton
  • tells, on 07/10/2008, -7/+5i'd hit that
  • sockpuppets, on 07/10/2008, -5/+2Those aren't hillary's stains on the front.
  • rowjimmy, on 07/10/2008, -5/+4it's got to be easier and easier to be a writer for the onion/the daily show/any other satirical news source nowadays given the level of absurdity in our world...
  • Kohaxx, on 07/10/2008, -1/+12"I remember thinking, 'Someday, I'll be president,'" Clinton continued, "'and then, eight years later and largely owing to my own massive public appeal, my wife will become president and I can be the prettiest first lady there ever was.'"

    I love the onion.
  • Fleagleman, on 07/10/2008, -5/+56 comments in and we've already burned out the 'stained' joke.
  • starmanfalls, on 07/10/2008, -12/+0So now that ***** is a devoted spouse??? Ha.
  • TheSevenDuffs, on 07/10/2008, -1/+4Takes second lady pantsuit out of closet?
  • lead2thehead, on 07/10/2008, -9/+1She had already picked out a dress? What an egomaniac!
    • kuppoppo, on 07/11/2008, -0/+2This is the funniest comment of the lot.
  • lestyoubejudged, on 07/10/2008, -5/+1Wow, not a very flattering fit for him.
  • crapmatic, on 07/10/2008, -1/+3What would his title have been? Seriously? First Gentleman?

    EDIT: Shoulda looked at Wikipedia, "Should a female hold the office, the term First Gentleman may be the alternative to First Lady, though First Consort or some other style may be used."
  • skyz, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3inaccurate

    he would have worn oscar de la renta never dior
  • Eavesdropping, on 07/11/2008, -0/+4I read he'd already shaved his legs in preparation to wear the dress and got a bikini wax to fully embrace the experience. Poor guy, the next side salad is gonna tease him.
  • 8347, on 07/11/2008, -2/+0Where's the cigar?
  • 8347, on 07/11/2008, -3/+0Is that Monica's dress?
  • thewhits, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3The Onion comes through again.
    They're usually pretty solid overall, but occasionally they'll come up with a classic like this.
  • xylix, on 07/11/2008, -9/+1Sure the Onion can funny, but it is certainly not news. Why on earth do people (1) post it on digg and (2) vote it up?
    • creaulx, on 07/11/2008, -0/+0They doo's it a'cause she's funny. Now back ta them that chickens. Hyuk.
    • troyfoley, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3you're right! where's all the breaking news that belongs in the comedy section?
  • mbecker8, on 07/11/2008, -0/+2Whenever I start getting pissed off reading all the FISA stuff and other backwards crap with the US, I turn to the Onion. At least it never fails me.
  • Sambora, on 07/11/2008, -7/+1Stop digging this *****.
  • dk2hint, on 07/11/2008, -6/+1Buried, enough Onion.
  • runfastr, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3"..and I can be the prettiest first lady there ever was.'"

    So true, Bill, so true.


    also, onion haters - get a sense of humor.
  • valdobiade, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1When I read funny satire about Bill Clinton I am laughing and feel fine. When I read funny satire about G.W. Bush I am laughing too, but I fell like back in communist regime when I was laughing but nothing could be done to better the life of people.
  • cbswim12, on 07/15/2008, -0/+0He has also refused to give the one-of-a-kind gown to his daughter, Chelsea, saying she is still years away from getting married and "doesn't have the waist for it."

    simply hilarious, I love this stuff.
  • kwijibo008008, on 07/16/2008, -0/+1haha that photo is convincing
  •  

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