digg

Join DiggAbout

Anonymous Philanthropist Donates 200 Human Kidneys watch!

theonion.com — Just an amazing act of kindness.

Bury
show profanity settings
expand all
  • ThomasPalmer, on 03/12/2008, -6/+105Totally dugg for the ending:

    In other news, "3 people are dead after a grenade eating contest goes awry."
  • ThomasPalmer, on 03/12/2008, -40/+3Totally dugg for the ending:

    In other news, "3 people dead after a grenade eating contest goes awry."
    • ThomasPalmer, on 03/12/2008, -3/+11sorry for the double post, please bury the second post.
    • Tiak, on 03/12/2008, -0/+2Totally dugg for the ending:
      "This may be related to last week's anonymous contribution of 1200 eyes."
  • queenmoweeny, on 03/12/2008, -5/+8OHHHH no! I am missing a kidney!
  • yosempai, on 03/12/2008, -5/+61In other news: 100 people found dead in parking lot.
    • Accolade1, on 03/12/2008, -10/+11More like 200 people found in a community-sized pool of ice. Who then die.
      • nmanguy, on 03/12/2008, -4/+10You have 2 kidneys, dumbass.
        • sgtbutterscotch, on 03/12/2008, -3/+5Maybe the guy didn't take both kidneys from everybody, dumbass.
          • postitnote, on 03/12/2008, -1/+4Then they probably wouldn't have died, dumbass.
          • theOster, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1, dumbass.
          • sgtbutterscotch, on 03/12/2008, -1/+8Yeah because black market surgeons or serial killers couldn't just take one kidney and not bother to do a good job stitching the victims back up, thus resulting in their deaths, dumbass.
          • tribble222, on 03/14/2008, -0/+1Well a double dumbass on you!
    • beingdevious, on 03/12/2008, -1/+9i just lost an IQ point for reading that.
    • OhROFL, on 03/12/2008, -2/+2Philanthropist or mass-murderer?
    • askthequestion, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1200 kidneys ?

      sound painful.
  • Rockmaninoff, on 03/12/2008, -4/+116I read the title of this on Digg in shock and horror. Then skepticism kicked in, and I started to wonder how this would be possible. Maybe he was a black market kidney buyer or something?

    Then, finally, I saw the URL.

    Dugg for make me truly facepalm.
  • killerstache, on 03/12/2008, -1/+80dugg for the footage of the "philanthropist" throwing the bag of kidneys at the door
    • amneosis, on 03/12/2008, -0/+3so great, would've been better if the bag jammed the automatic doors though.
  • drizzlelicious, on 03/12/2008, -1/+46Imagine a world where onion articles were actually true
  • Accolade1, on 03/12/2008, -1/+27The onion is full of win.
  • daxsymbiont, on 03/12/2008, -17/+1not funny.
    • TotalHalibut, on 03/12/2008, -3/+5not funny.
    • CheeseburgerBro, on 03/12/2008, -0/+4Ha, haw -- got your kidney!

      Want it back?

      Psyche!
    • quiggibub, on 03/18/2008, -0/+1I need a new kidney badly and even I found it funny.
  • TheAmbushAhead, on 03/12/2008, -2/+51Dugg for the "This is only the beginning!" note.
  • 8randon, on 03/12/2008, -12/+1http://www.glumbert.com/media/kidneys

    if onion isn't working
    • mvanhorn, on 03/12/2008, -2/+4Why would the onion not work? Burried.
      • 8randon, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1video doesn't load for me on the onion site
  • jun2san, on 03/12/2008, -1/+32This is a very heart warming story. Whenever I see a story like this, my faith in humanity is restored. God bless him. I only wish he was around when my aunt and great uncle needed kidney transplants.
    • Kleech, on 03/12/2008, -5/+0Sadly I think he's being serious. o_O Thus my "faith in humanity" is destroyed.
  • SamPollock, on 03/12/2008, -7/+17Now 200 scientologists are missing their kidneys
    • Crossmenjeff, on 03/12/2008, -1/+9you need help with your math, if your intent was to point out 200 died, you should know how many kidneys a person has. if your intent was to keep them alive, then why specify scientologists?
      • sgtbutterscotch, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1because it would be weird if 200 of any group of people were missing a bunch of their kidneys, no?
      • SamPollock, on 03/12/2008, -2/+1Well, since the anonymous group is against the scientologists, then it is a funny comment. You don't have to look at it as a ***** math equation. And yes, I ***** know that you can ***** survive without 1 kidney or even 2, so ***** off.
        • verkon, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1You try to survive without two kidneys and I will give you 100 dollars.
    • onlynameicanget, on 03/12/2008, -1/+3Ideally, 100 >_>
    • CheeseburgerBro, on 03/12/2008, -0/+2Don't you watch after-school specials?

      "Advocating genocide isn't jiggy with it."

      Stay in school. Brush your teeth. Promote understanding. Pry them of their secrets. Avoid putting a positive spin on butchery. Etc.
    • nmanguy, on 03/12/2008, -1/+3He said "missing their kidneys" not "dead" so 200 people with 1 less kidney means that there are still 200 guys around who are "Missing their kidneys"
      • thecyko1, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1Kidneys... as in plural? A statement that in every other iteration has meant more than one? Which is, at the very least, 2 if you suck at counting. Or in case you are unaware, the singular for kidney is kidney. And for the sentence to form coherently, he would have had to say "missing *a* kidney". Or in other words, you're stupid.
        • SamPollock, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1You wanna fight bitch?
          • FlynnRocks, on 03/12/2008, -2/+1Hell ya, I will beat your ass down, only if you promise not to try to kiss me this time.
            And since you said 200 people lost their "kidneys" that means they lost both, equaling 400 you piece of *****. Learn to ***** write you asshole bitch.
          • alittleroy101, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1I bet both of you guys have raging boners right now.
          • thecyko1, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1Ah, the one sure sign of intelligence. Resorting to violence... over the internet. Your parents must be proud.
  • Pinkertinkle, on 03/12/2008, -2/+7The Onion brightens my life.
  • d0onut, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1You lost a great opportunity for a kidney pun in the description :(
    • cphelps, on 03/12/2008, -0/+3Why yes, yes they did.
    • GramarNatzi, on 03/12/2008, -0/+4Anonymous Philanthropist Donates 200 Human Kidneys, I kidney not ....?
  • yeahclick, on 03/12/2008, -1/+10I like to think that they were two hundred of his own kidneys.
  • capiCrimm, on 03/12/2008, -1/+14Are you sure 1 one them wasn't a Unicorn Kidney?
  • Elissar, on 03/12/2008, -1/+6I could use one of those, I have this great recipe that calls for a fresh kidney, some fava beans, and a nice chianti.
  • walkar, on 03/12/2008, -1/+2That crazy hacker gang really showed their capacity for generosity on this one.
  • aerovolce, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1OMG they finally made an exciting conclusion to where Charlie the Unicorn's kidney went
  • AllSt4r, on 03/12/2008, -4/+0wonder who he is killing
  • benska, on 03/12/2008, -1/+2It was Ted Dansen
  • wiering, on 03/12/2008, -0/+16Text at the bottom: "Kidneys may be related to last week's donation of 1,200 eyes"
  • jtbell04, on 03/12/2008, -1/+3Anon delivers.
  • DeadlySin, on 03/12/2008, -4/+2Somewhere, 200 people are lying in a bathtub of ice with their torsos sliced open.
  • IpwnZnoobs, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1What a nice guy! I hope he has a great day!
  • Syphon8, on 03/12/2008, -1/+2I love you, Onion.
  • belebih, on 03/12/2008, -1/+9It's amazing how watching the Onion News Network is so similar to watching Fox News. I mean, they could trade stories and hardly anyone would notice.
    • BrianTheDog, on 03/15/2008, -0/+0I haven't seen cnn.com show any Onion news for awhile. Nice "partner" they are.
  • jttennisplaya81, on 03/12/2008, -9/+1I'm sorry, but did NO ONE question where someone managed to come up with 200 human kidneys?!? I mean that isn't something people have laying around.
  • Thrilltone, on 03/12/2008, -1/+4This awesome act of kindness has restored my faith in mankind. Mmmmm Brains
  • fieldhockey44, on 03/12/2008, -3/+2what if one of them had AIDS?
  • ElGuano, on 03/12/2008, -4/+1This is moronic but...

    This article actually got me thinking. The shtick was obviously the hospital blithely mistaking a serial killer for a philanthropist. But I initially thought it would be a real "philanthropist" donating kidneys (again, with nobody questioning where they actually came from). Seems to me that would have been a more Onion-like slant, too.
  • wwgtam, on 03/12/2008, -11/+0Didn't anyone find that creepy? Someone probably murdered 200 people in the last 24 hours to get those kidneys... I wouldn't be so "oh what a great gift!" about it at all...
    • ReyX, on 03/12/2008, -0/+7...
    • vervalsing, on 03/12/2008, -0/+4Are you people trolls or are you actually not familiar with The Onion?
    • JusticeFriend, on 03/12/2008, -0/+5............................................________
      ....................................,.-‘”...................``~.,
      .............................,.-”...................................“-.,
      .........................,/...............................................”:,
      .....................,?......................................................,
      .................../...........................................................,}
      ................./......................................................,:`^`..}
      .............../...................................................,:”........./
      ..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../
      ............./__.(.....“~-,_..............................,:`........../
      .........../(_....”~,_........“~,_....................,:`........_/
      ..........{.._$;_......”=,_.......“-,_.......,.-~-,},.~”;/....}
      ...........((.....*~_.......”=-._......“;,,./`..../”............../
      ...,,,___.`~,......“~.,....................`.....}............../
      ............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-”
      ............/.`~,......`-...................................../
      .............`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....,__
      ,,_..........}.>-._...................................|..............`=~-,
      .....`=~-,__......`,.................................
      ...................`=~-,,.,...............................
      ................................`:,,...........................`..............__
      .....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``
      ........................................_..........._,-%.......`
      ....................................
    • savethemooses, on 03/13/2008, -0/+1It would be a lot easier to just murder 100 people and take both of their kidneys. Doy.
  • oinker262, on 03/12/2008, -0/+4i wonder if there were any unicorn kidneys in there...
  • allemande, on 03/12/2008, -1/+2Anonymous philanthropist donating is quite popular nowadays...
  • Aereo, on 03/12/2008, -0/+9I immediately thought, "Where the ***** did he get 200.....Ohh, The Onion."
  • spartacus727, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1they have really good production quality for a parody video
  • thetedster180, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1dugg for "this is only the beginning"
  • Dirceu, on 03/12/2008, -0/+0"He stole my kidney" - John Locke
  • 4d669, on 03/12/2008, -0/+4Anonymous doesn't just destroy people's lives and catch pedophiles. They also have kidney raids.
  • bobdylanthomas, on 03/12/2008, -0/+3thats makes sense since that i woke up in a bathtub full of ice with stitches in my back and a note saying that i should call 911 immediately
  • mrtdot, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1ANyone else have trouble loading videos from the Onion? I use firefox btw...
    • JusticeFriend, on 03/12/2008, -1/+1Use Opera
    • ekravchenko, on 03/12/2008, -0/+2I run firefox on linux and it works fine. My version is 2.0.0.12
  • tri8gman, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1Never read The Onion before, was totally had. Good stuff.
  • avenu420, on 03/12/2008, -0/+2time for lunch.
  • alittleroy101, on 03/12/2008, -0/+2The Onion rarely fails to impress.
  • FoxMcCloud1, on 03/12/2008, -4/+1I hate the onion. I ***** on their grave. Bury.
    • DanOnTheMoon, on 03/17/2008, -0/+1You, sir, are a humorless soap dropper.
  • ashley059, on 03/12/2008, -2/+0where the hell did he get it... poor people, they don't know the consequences their facing after donating one of their kidney
  • dietoo, on 03/12/2008, -2/+0where those come from?
  • harveywalbanger, on 03/12/2008, -0/+1Quoting the surgeon, "This is someone who is very skilled with a knife..." ROTFLMAO
  • stilldavid, on 03/12/2008, -2/+1Who wants to go to Candy Mountain?
  • Fetching more discussions...
    Show 51 - 54 of 54 discussions
  •  

    Login or register to add a comment

    Create a new account or login to join in the conversation on Digg. You'll also be able to Digg stories to help promote things you like.


© Digg Inc. 2008 — Content posted by Digg users is dedicated to the public domain.
DIGG, DIGG IT, DUGG, DIGG THIS, Digg graphics, logos, designs, page headers, button icons, scripts, and other service names are the trademarks of Digg Inc.