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Female orgasms: Faking it every once in a while is okay

divinecaroline.com — So funny. "In the Wonderful World of Orgasms, is Honesty Really the Best Policy?" I had no idea that it was ever okay, but after reading this, now I understand where she's coming from.

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  • carolinab, on 10/10/2007, -13/+2so well written and oh so true...
    • krets, on 10/10/2007, -8/+1So if faking it once in a while is OK, faking it all the time is more OK right?
      • lailalu, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7no, actually im opposed to faking. It only gets you in trouble later. On the off chance that this is just a one timer, it might not be worth the efforts of making it work. If its a relationship you only hurt yourself by faking.
    • ruthless34, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Man : Why did you make women so beautiful?
      God: So that you will love her
      Man: But why did you make them so stupid?
      God: ....So that she will love you
  • sashapave, on 10/10/2007, -10/+4LOL! This was the best line: "My point is, sex without orgasm for a man is a cruel joke, like New Year’s Day without football or Heidi Klum wearing a floor-length muumuu in a Victoria’s Secret ad."
  • lailalu, on 10/10/2007, -14/+5I love the Harry's Teacher example. I love men who assume they are great lovers b/c they have heard a woman moan. Take your time boys, God is in the details.
    • UncleCrapper, on 10/10/2007, -4/+56I love when women bitch about their sex lives when they're doing absolutely nothing to communicate those issues to their partner, like our penis can somehow double as an aerial to receive their brain waves.
      • rnwen2750, on 10/10/2007, -22/+7When we try to say something, men get defensive and intimidated.
        • FyreGoddess, on 10/10/2007, -1/+34I have never had that problem. Then again, I've never brought it up as "You're doing it wrong." It's always more like "This is what works for me, can we try it?"
        • SuperCUBE, on 10/10/2007, -0/+14Exactly. It's not what you say, it's how you say it.
        • halavais, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7Then you need to find another guy. Sorry, but while the majority of men are assholes, there are a large number of our gender who are not. Of course, some women seem to choose bravado over real confidence. A confident man doesn't mind being told what to do in bed.
        • dandonia, on 10/10/2007, -3/+1The way i see it is

          I know how to get me off using you, its up you to do the same
        • rnwen2750, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Halavais - I completely agree. However many of the comments are not written by evidently confident men.
          Dandonia - well, I assume you've never been a woman. So I don't expect you to really understand the physics of female orgasms, but I think it would serve you well to learn if you want ot keep having sex with a real partner.
        • apiecealarry, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Halvais - I also agree, however I have been with men who are sweet but still a bit underconfident, and feel discouraged when it doesn't work despite direction (keep going guys! The more patient you are, the more amazing we'll think you are)
          Dandonia - if you think the purpose of sex is to "use" someone so you can get off, then I sincerely feel sorry for whatever poor women happens to find herself in bed with you - if you want to use anything, stick you your own hand, cuz it's not all about you
        • weeeezzll, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1I don't know about anyone else, but quality sex has little to do with physical performance. Sex and orgasms are 90% mental. I can be hard and having sex and if the passion loses steam mid performance I can totally lose the ability to maintain an erection. When the passion is there, it is hard to have bad sex.

          11 years and the sex just keeps getting better and better...
      • Wargalas, on 10/10/2007, -0/+17Mine can. What's wrong with yours? :)
      • ajgv, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1Well said, Crapper.
    • ShugNinx21, on 10/10/2007, -1/+15I find it disturbing that women have this idea that it's only the man's job to make sure the sex is good.

      Ladies, you have just as much responsibility to make sex good as the man does. So speak up and let them know how you like it.
      • apiecealarry, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1You're right, communication is key, but it's also important for men to A) understand we aren't criticizing *you,* and B) try and be patient and willing to work with us - we know we're complicated, but we promise we're not trying to make it difficult on purpose!
  • UncleCrapper, on 10/10/2007, -0/+101"Wikipedia says that a person usually fakes an orgasm to avoid causing feelings of sexual inadequacy in his or her partner."

    And faking it just rewards further sexual inadequacy. If you can't come, just say so, but gently. Sex can be enjoyable without an orgasm and faking it and the consequential focus on orgasms only encourages a "race to the finish line" sexual mentality.

    A legitimately caring and concerned partner isn't going to walk out the door because you can't achieve orgasm once in a while. Way to use guilt there, Rebecca.
    • FyreGoddess, on 10/10/2007, -2/+77I've dated a couple of guys who were really not very good in bed at all. What I've learned from talking to them about the issues we were having is that there's a whole lot of blame falling on their earlier sexual partners.

      Women who fake it because they're uninterested in sex or just want to "get it over with" tend to also tell their partner HOW GOOD they are/were. This leaves these men with a false sense of confidence in abilities that are really lacking and does a disservice to every woman that comes afterward.

      It's a difficult thing to learn many years later that you've been lied to, repeatedly and that your assumed prowess was really just a lack of interest on the part of your partner(s).

      I think that there are a LOT of women who are just too afraid to speak up or simply don't know how.

      Articles like this one simply add to the validity of women faking it, for whatever reason they claim. Unfortunately, it means that a handful of women like me wind up having to retrain men in the bedroom and teach them how to *actually* satisfy a woman. The women who don't fake it, who don't lie about whether or not it's working in the bedroom are the ones who probably have the most satisfying sex life and whose partners wind up enjoying sex that much more because there is an actual give and take, rather than just getting off and falling asleep.

      It astounds me how many women talk about the importance of honesty and communication in a relationship and then completely avoid it when it comes to sex.
      • surasshu, on 10/10/2007, -2/+14I thought this article was satirical. Is there anyone who actually thinks it's okay? It's always been my impression that women who do this don't think it's okay, but just feel like they should, or have to even.

        Anyway communication is always necessary. My general experience is that what turns one girl on pisses all the other ones off.
        • freezervv, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4I do think the "I'm just too tired to tell the truth and then do the reassurances" thing is a fair reason *for* lying. I know a lot of guys that would... notsomuch 'be offended,' but it would come as a shock and probably not produce any positive reaction. Cognitive dissonance and all.
          That said, faking it habitually *is* a great way to torpedo a relationship, and has no excuse. I guess I could sum up by saying that sometimes you agree to go to dinner at a place that you really don't like, but your partner does. Why should sexual experiences be any different? Just make sure it's a two way street, that you do eventually talk about it, and that both partners are sacrificing something ocassionally for each other -- and it should be happier all around.
      • c0ldfusi0n, on 10/10/2007, -11/+3Dugg up for being a chick.
      • alarion, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7For real. I would much rather my g/f tell me "baby, it's just not happening tonight" than to go on some oscar worthy performance only to hop straight out of bed afterwards and run to the bathroom or go smoke. If it's me, tell me what I am doing wrong - I won't be mad and I still love you. If it's you, it's ok - I just hope you got a little enjoyment out of it and maybe, just maybe it helped ease your nerves a little.
        • Jugalator, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Agreed, while I understand that a relationship can sometimes use some white lies, I can't see how repeated lying in this intimate act can do anything good to a relationship in the long run. It'll just keep building up under the surface. Faking it would seem more like a sign of distrust or insecurity in your partner's reactions from telling, and that's not a good thing.
    • acoate, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7Honesty is always the best policy, and basically women, we're always going to know our bodies better than the men (or women) who come and visit ours every so often. If you're going to be honest, just discuss it outside the bedroom so as not to hurt any egos (that might have a tendency to grow in the bedroom). I'm with UncleCrapper, it's still fun to go at it and do all the other myriad of things that are possible...perhaps too much craving and emphasis is put on getting off every time...but if that happens every time, then something should shift, for sure.
    • halavais, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Worse yet, the article suggests faking it until you can't take it any more, and if all else fails being honest. Sorry, but that is a recipe for disaster.

      I might be a little bruised by "Sorry, what you're doing there... that's not doing it for me. Try this..." (though I's probably be great with the "learning moment"), but if she says "Sorry, that's not doing it for me, and it hasn't been doing it for me for the last three months, I was just misleading you in order to avoid any damaged feelings and hurry things along" then yeah, I might feel a bit bad that I'd been played for a fool and wonder what other "white lies" she was telling.
    • geckofiend, on 10/10/2007, -10/+1It is a well known scientific fact that women can not orgasm. Thus searching for it serves only to prolong the duration of intercourse and reduce the amount of time the female would otherwise spend barefoot in the kitchen. Any attempt to prove otherwise only serves to reverse the natural power-relationships between men and women that were ordained by God.
      • FiercestCalm, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Whether or not women can orgasm hasn't really been an issue for you, has it? If you never come into contact with one, you may never know.
      • orlandogeek, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Looks like you fail at humor.
    • Ravenlock, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Excellent comment, UC. Totally agree. My wife and I talked very early in our relationship about how important it was to both of us that the other be very straightforward - not harsh, but straightforward - about what we were and weren't feeling intimately. Pretending you're enjoying sex when you're not has no real positive consequences for either partner. And if you are enjoying it but just aren't going to hit orgasm - and that happens to women AND men - great! Say so, keep going while you're enjoying it and stop once you're not anymore.
    • ruthless34, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Digg needs a Female orgasm section.
  • meandnips, on 10/10/2007, -8/+0I love the Harry story and the line "he told me I was probably just frigid or had been with inexperienced men" Reminds me of my ex-husband, who asked if I had become a lesbian when I declined to have sex with him after we separated. He and Harry must be related!
  • kelseyisfine, on 10/10/2007, -10/+1OH oh oh oh....I don't think there's anything wrong with it every once in a while.
  • homedaddy, on 10/10/2007, -9/+0I don't see anything wrong with faking it once in a while but communication is very important or you could wind up faking forever and who is the loser in that scenario!!
  • KatherineC, on 10/10/2007, -10/+6So guys do NOT enjoy shopping? What else are they faking?? I feel used. HA
    • MTessa, on 10/10/2007, -5/+0"I want to rock your world"......Nope. I want to rock my world and hope yours comes with it.
    • ruthless34, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0lol..shopping
      He doesn't like shopping cuz you will be wasting his money, bitch.
  • allisdivine, on 10/10/2007, -8/+3Meg Ryan's not famous for nothing!
    • freezervv, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5I think it would be more correct to say, "Meg Ryan's not famous for anything!"
  • maxxian, on 10/10/2007, -0/+56There have been times where I was unable to give my girlfriend a orgasm but we talked about it and moved on. I personally would be offended if I found out my girlfriend was faking it. I would rather have her tell me now what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it later rather then think I am the man and turn out to be a dud. I have had my moments of sexual inadequacy with her but ya know, if she truly loves you she will talk to you and help you be better in bed. Men just need to swallow some pride every now and then and take some constructive criticism.
    • UwasaWaya, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7No kidding, it's infuriating what some people think is acceptable bedroom behavior... The first time I had sex the girl I was with told me that she orgasmed... only later to come back and say it was a lie. I don't think I've ever felt so humiliated and miserable. My girlfriend knows to talk to me about whatever is wrong, and if it needs to be put off til later, that's ok too. Christ, is this article SERIOUSLY advocating dishonesty in the most intimate part of a relationship?
    • alarion, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2I can only agree with this. Most guys, no matter how much ***** they talk, really do want to please you. Some women try to wake the dead every time they have sex, even when they aren't really cumming. This only serves to give your man (or woman - but they tend to know a woman's body better than a man does) a overinflated ego and will only cause more sexual frustrations for you later on. If he thinks what he is doing is making feel so ***** totally awesome that you could never possibly ever want someone else, then he's going to keep doing that - only, it never actually gets you off. Most men can handle the little hit to the ego of "ok ok... you've had yours, and I'm not getting mine, so whenever you are ready, I'm done" followed by a intimate, non-demeaning talk about why you weren't getting off.

      Now if you are the type who gets mad and tells him to get off you cause you're done and didn't cum - yeah, that only pisses us off. Sex is intimate, unless you are with some one night stand, and usually there are feelings involved. At least for me, being with someone I love and care about deeply, it really is a very emotional experience. You don't lie to your man and tell him you love him when you don't do you? Well some do I guess, but most don't. So don't make him think you are riding on cloud nine with pleasure when you aren't.
  • bigjoeportagee, on 10/10/2007, -2/+41If you fake orgasms you forgo your right to complain about bad sex because you offered no solution to the problem, If you are too tired to get off or it's just not happening say so, the male ego does much better with honesty then the paranoia of wondering if the orgasm was real or not,
    • rnwen2750, on 10/10/2007, -14/+2Right. Let someone try that on you. "Honey, you just aren't getting it." Most men under that circumstance then undergo performance pressure and that is often the beginning of the end of a relationship.
      • FyreGoddess, on 10/10/2007, -1/+26There's a HUGE difference between "You aren't getting it" and "This isn't working for me, let's try..." and changing the game. There's also a difference between presenting the problem as being THEIR FAULT and presenting a solution that's going to work for you.
        • theblueprint, on 10/10/2007, -1/+20A man will really get into it if you make it sound like you're really hot for HIM to "do" you a particular way. Present it as though you've been fantasizing about that particular position/act during the day, and couldn't wait for him to "give it to you" in that particular manner.

          "Could we try..." is good, but "I want you to....me" is even better.
    • freezervv, on 10/10/2007, -4/+4I think one of the problems is that most men aren't paranoid about that. They just assume they belong in a porn vid. ^_^
  • SilenceGold, on 10/10/2007, -4/+10When is an article for how men can fake their orgasm going to happen?
  • Alegoo92, on 10/10/2007, -3/+17Hey Neauvuru, can you make a digg app that shows how many articles on faking orgasms get submitted every year?
  • meshman, on 10/10/2007, -1/+49"Let’s be honest, we’ve all faked an orgasm or two somewhere along the way."

    We have? Speak for yourself.
  • waste49, on 10/10/2007, -2/+32If everything I learned about sex came from Digg, I'd be a perverted horny paranoid virgin.
    • Wenz, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4...with a sticky keyboard.
    • freezervv, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Wow, so I guess a lot of users only do know about sex from Digg.
    • BrokenBrick, on 10/10/2007, -1/+5::pretends he is not a perverted horny paranoid virgin::
  • Metareality, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3It's quite interesting to note that despite an entire Seinfeld on the topic, middle-aged men still haven't caught on.
    • OffPiste, on 10/10/2007, -1/+7Middle aged men do not watch Seinfeld. We watch the History channel and ESPN.
      • freezervv, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2HitlerFootballHitlerFootballHitlerFootballMussoliniMiniaturegolfHitlerFootballHitlerFootball
  • sk1ll2, on 10/10/2007, -4/+11"now I understand where she's coming from"

    that's what she said
    • NitrousFlare, on 10/10/2007, -15/+2Shut the ***** up with that stupid ***** joke. Every single ***** person at my high school says it and it's ***** stupid. Think of something funny to say, and say it once, maybe twice, but if you have to ***** say the same ***** phrase to get a laugh then just shut the ***** up, you aren't funny, and you're getting more hatred then laughs.

      • appetite, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7Jesus Christ, man.
      • IllBeBack, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5Sounds like you need some Anger Counseling. Calm down and breathe deeply...
      • Jugalator, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1***** ***** who ***** around with other *****.
      • waste49, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0holy crap, i'd hate to go see 'Date Movie' with you!
  • IllBeBack, on 10/10/2007, -6/+23I love giving females orgasms. Anal, vaginal, clitoral, they're all fantastic. And none of them have ever been faked. Any girls thinking that they need to fake orgasms EVER are in denial. Ladies, learn to ask for what you want and how you want it done and you shall receive exactly that. Body-shaking, screaming orgasms.
    • ForkySpoony, on 10/10/2007, -7/+0A vaginal orgasm? That's laughable.
      • IllBeBack, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Vaginal orgasms are those given by stimulation of the G-spot inside the vagina. I guess technically the clitoris is being stimulated from underneath, but yes it certainly does work. Simultaneous anal stimulation helps speed the process a lot of times.
    • SuperCUBE, on 10/10/2007, -3/+3You speak an absolute truth, there.
    • dasbebe, on 10/10/2007, -3/+11How do you know that they weren't faked?
      • IllBeBack, on 10/10/2007, -0/+12I knew because of her rythmic vaginal contractions during the orgasm. Just making the right sounds isn't enough. It's a lot harder to squeeze all of those muscles just the right way to fake coming. They were absolutely real.
        • gotterdammerung, on 10/10/2007, -4/+3It's really not difficult to rhythmically squeeze those muscles at all... that's basically what Kegel exercises are. They get easier the more frequently you do them. It might've been real, or you could have been with a faker prone to histrionics (what with the screaming and body shaking and all).
          • IllBeBack, on 10/10/2007, -2/+4Well, if she went through all that trouble and then lied to me by telling me how good her come was, then I guess you are completely right. You win. Feel better now?
          • Jugalator, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Huh... Using the PC muscles to contract is a voluntary action and not much like irregular spasms. Besides, there are a number of other signs of an orgasm too. A real orgasm is often nothing like the screaming porno thing.
    • theworldisflat, on 10/10/2007, -5/+6"Body-shaking, screaming orgasms"
      Too bad you just blew (ha) your attempt at sound all macho. Women do not, in most all cases, scream during an orgasm. It's not called the "little death" for nothing.

      You've watched far too much porn if you believe that a body-shaking, screaming orgasm is anywhere close to reality.
      • IllBeBack, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Well, that's a good point. I guess it's more of a guttural moaning that gets close to screaming but not quite. I'm not sure quite how to describe it in words, but that sound coupled with the pulsating contractions of her vagina and the uterine contractions (I can feel her cervix bouncing up and down on the head of my penis or fingers when she's coming) clearly indicates that a Big-O is in progress.
      • DaemonHero, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2I feel sorry for you, and I wish it was proper manners to ask one of the five ladies who have _literally_ screamed their orgasms for me to respond to this, so you wouldn't knee-jerk chalk it up to macho posturing. Not every women will get that loud. And there are many women who want you to stop after the first one or three; too much stimulation. But for those who will let me keep at them, yes, they have screamed. I know four who have orgasms from anal. I know three who have orgasms from nipple stimulation alone. I know two who yell, and three who scream. And one who passes out from the pleasure when I get enough of it rolling through her. All you really have to do is know a few things about female anatomy, and care enough to make it happen. Her body will tell you everything you need to know. As for how I know they aren't faking...aside from knowing that these particular women WOULD tell me if things weren't right, aside from the muscular-twitching patterns in certain places, aside from other pretty obvious physical cues...3 of them are happy providers of female ejaculate. Quite the fountains of pleasure, they are.
        Short version: Just because you haven't done it doesn't mean it can't be done.
        And women: stop lying. Tell us. If the man cares about you at all, he'll want to know and do better. "Fragile male ego" is hooey. And you might even consider asking the fellow what HE likes...or taking the time to find out.
      • apetrie, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Well, in defense of IllBeBack, I personally make fairly loud moans until just before, and then am dead quiet (I'm not even sure I'm breathing) when it first happens and then can't help but let out a huge moan/loud scream. I also can't control my legs from shaking from when I'm close to when its over.
      • FiercestCalm, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Yes, very true. Sometimes an orgasm can be so good that a woman will be completely silent so she doesn't ***** up the feeling. She might jerk around, but there doesn't have to be any screaming or moaning to be an orgasm.
    • Montanagal, on 10/10/2007, -3/+0An anal orgasm....and no one has ever faked? You are a dreamer.
      • IllBeBack, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Yes, absolutely. It does need some stimulation of her *****, but most of the stimulation is done with fingers and tongue in her anus. The first time it happened, we couldn't believe it either. But it sure is fun to do it that way when she's wanting butt action.
      • Jugalator, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Tee-hee. Montanagal has never achieved an anal orgasm with his partner. ;)
    • freezervv, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Asserting that you've never had a girl fake an orgasm
      + Asserting no normal girl ever fakes orgasms
      = Circular logic

      Good comment there, and way to be an ass to your repliers.
    • duPlux, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Hi Harry !
    • AaronCSU, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1For some girls it definitely is. I dated a girl that would be literally shaking, she would let out several screams, her vagina would clench and pulse so tightly that it would force me out, she would soak the bed and would basically be unable to talk for about 30 seconds to a minute afterwards. If she was faking she deserves an oscar. On top of that she was often the one pursuing me "to get what she wanted", so I really doubt she was faking for my ego or to get me off of her. Just because you've never experienced it doesn't mean it's not the reality for some people.
  • slonrgjon, on 10/10/2007, -12/+3my gf tells me that I'm not good straight up. Thats cus I get bored and go soft before I cum. Thats what happens when ur in a long term relationship.
    • thrallie, on 10/10/2007, -1/+10By girlfriend you mean your right hand, correct?
    • grey580, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0I'd suggest Google. You can learn anything on there ;p
  • appetite, on 10/10/2007, -0/+20"I want to be a good communicator, especially in this most intimate of connections. But when you’re in Donna Summer Mode, your calculations tell you that it will take way longer to explain why it isn’t working than it would to just fake it and that can be overwhelming when you’re exhausted."

    Sounds like my reasoning for lying to her about... pretty much everything I lie to her about.
    • SpectralSounds, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10Haha... yeah, that is a great quote.

      "Ug, Im too ***** lazy to tell the truth. So, Ill just lie. Telling the truth is a hassle."
  • kaiser44, on 10/10/2007, -9/+3who cares, I have no trouble getting mine, as a matter of fact why should I have the pressure of making sure my partner gets off, if the good lord wanted woman to have easy orgasms he would have put the ***** in a different spot.
    DAMN , it is your pussy learn what makes it tick.
    • IllBeBack, on 11/03/2007, -0/+6You should care enough to get down and lick your girl's ***** directly until she comes. You should find out if she also likes simultaneous fingers inside her pussy or anus (or both at the same time).
      Don't be so selfish.
      • vawksel, on 11/03/2007, -0/+2Some women will never get off by oral or touching her ***** in any way with your fingers. Some need girth penetration, and others need something more stimulating like a vibrator to the *****... it's just how it is.

        Any way it goes, figure it out and make it happen, don't be so damn selfish.
    • FiercestCalm, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Here's a clue: She KNOWS how to make herself orgasm. She's just hoping that you'll care enough to learn for yourself.
  • coloneltcb, on 10/10/2007, -9/+34Q: Why do women fake orgasms?
    A: Because they think we care.
    • Jugalator, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1It's mostly their loss if they don't care if we care though. It's not the men who're missing out on the orgasms, after all.
  • naughtyboy, on 10/10/2007, -2/+5One of the first things I said to my girlfriend was that she shouldn't fake it. Why, she said? I will probably notice, and will probably be offended. The thing is that the clitoris grows in size and stiffen just before she climaxes. This is especially noticeable during oral sex, so don't fake. Just tell me what you want and how you want it, and don't be afraid to say no to sex. (once in awhile) XD
  • 7Mystery, on 10/10/2007, -8/+1No man should feel bad about women faking about their orgasm. They’re cheating themselves, anyway. I gotta mine, get yours, bitch hehe
    If going in feels like throwing hotdog in the hallway is non of my fault!
  • FaithclubDotNet, on 10/10/2007, -8/+0I wish some girls would hide the fact they're having an orgasm. Fingernails in the back less than 5 minutes into a 3 hour job absolutely sucks.
    • AdamFromMyspace, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9I just have to ask.. have you ever had sex?
      • FaithclubDotNet, on 10/10/2007, -2/+0Yes, and it was premarital, so I shouldn't have been doing it.
        • vawksel, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2bahaha, thats the funniest thing I've heard all day.

          Seriously though, I didn't know there were still people caught up in the legal paper-work before having sex. Those sex-contra... I mean marriage-contracts are not a reason to have sex. If you want to *****, then *****. If you fall in love with someone and want to marry them then marry them. This isn't the 1800's anymore

          You people make me sick.
  • canha, on 10/10/2007, -8/+1My gf can't fake it. Or at least she doesn't. It's called "knowing how to do it", guys!
    • EarlOfLade, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5I have a feeling your gf has a different opinion...
    • AdamFromMyspace, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1That's not what she told me..
  • freezerburn666, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2after a long night of drinking and some badass whiskey dick i find myself faking it every once and awhile :P
    • AdamFromMyspace, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2I've been known to just pass out on top of them.................
  • ashwinmudigonda, on 10/10/2007, -6/+3This is why chicks should not be allowed near the computer and especially taught how to type. Dugg for lamity, lameness and total lamistic lamecdotes about lamgasms.
  • bluetara, on 10/10/2007, -1/+24How absolutely stupid. The author assumes that men are whiny brats who can't handle the truth. Faking an orgasm means you don't respect your partner enough to be honest (because he's apparently a whiny brat) and you don't respect yourself enough to demand an orgasm. To all of you women who are faking to avoid the whining and temper tantrums of your partner: GET A NEW MAN. I have never faked an orgasm and I never will. Stop being Real Dolls and start having orgasms, damnit.
    • naughtyboy, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5well said ;)
    • shreela, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2"and start having orgasms, damnit." hee hee, well said indeed!
    • grey580, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Buys a round of Screaming Orgasms for all the ladies.
  • grey580, on 10/10/2007, -5/+6This is pretty sad. Faking an orgasm is like going to a restaurant and getting a lobster dinner and faking eating it.

    Women please get this in your heads. Faking an orgasm only really hurts you in the end. So cut the crap and communicate.

    Guys if your woman is faking it. Guess what you suck in bed.

    The problem with men, is that every time a guy has sex he orgasms. Women aren't so lucky. The mark of a true cocksmith is that he realizes this truth. And he cares enough to actually go out and learn how to become a jedi master in bed.

    Guys you have to get into the mentality that your orgasm doesn't matter. To truly become one with a woman, you need to make her scream her head off.
    You should set orgasm goals for your partner in your head.
    Say to yourself I'm going to give her at least 3 orgasms tonight. Then if you find that those 3 are a piece of cake. Ramp it up and give her 6 orgasms.

    Normally I shoot for 3 orgasms for my mate. I start out with 1 oral orgasm for her and then continue on to give her another 2 via intercourse. If I feel that I still have enough stamina I ramp it up to like 5 orgasms. Sometimes when I'm feeling like a stud I give her like 10-12 orgasms.
    But I gotta warn you guys. Don't do that too often. Or else she'll be expecting it all the time.

    There's plenty of resources out there for you to look at that will tell you some of the tricks of the trade. David Shade is one guy you should be checking out. He really has some good advice.
    • AdamFromMyspace, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2All girls are different though.. it is extremely difficult to give a girl inexperienced with herself multiple orgasms.
      • grey580, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0I disagree. I've been with virgins and well.... I disagree. take my word for it. her inexperience doesn't matter.
        Your experience can make all the difference.
    • IllBeBack, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Halfway through your message, my ***** detector went off. 3 to 6 orgasms? Via intercourse? Wow, you ARE a Jedi Master Cocksmith!
      • grey580, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1My post is ***** free man.
        I can, have and will continue to give my woman the pleasure she so richly deserves.
        Henry Ford said this once.
        "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right. "
        If that's your attitude that it's impossible to give a woman 3-6 orgasms well then you will never be able to give a woman that many. Or maybe even any at all.
        I know what I can do and have done and will continue to do so.

        lol.. you say "Via intercourse?" like I was crazy or something. Hell yes via intercourse.
        • vawksel, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Your girl can orgasm easy, not all of them can. I've had some that can have 3 to 6 orgasms in a few hour session, others that have one orgasm then they are to sensitive to even continue (kinda like a guy is).

          Stop bragging about yourself and how much of a stud you are, your girlfriend is probably just EASY.
        • grey580, on 10/10/2007, -1/+0I've slept with enough women to know better.
    • BrokenBrick, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Like the Seinfeld episode where Jerry fake eats mutton to prove to his new girlfriend he is not a salad eater?
    • floatingpoints, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Did you say "jedi master in bed"?

      Wow. That is failure of epic proportions.
    • FiercestCalm, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1If she's getting 2 via sex itself, it's probably due to her being unusually lucky in the way her vagina is arranged, not because of any skill on your part.
      • grey580, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0You guys don't freaking get it.
        Man I'm 35 years old and been in several long term relationships.
        And I can tell you with certain great certainty that 1/2 a dozen orgasms is not just a myth. It's possible.
        I've only run across 1 girl that I was not able to make orgasm at all no matter what I tried. And I have been with enough women to know that I can do what I say I can do.

        I shake my head at your lack of faith. And truthfully any guy can be skillful enough to give a woman 1/2 a dozen orgasms. All you need to do is pay attention, make the sex exciting and know how to work it.
        You guys don't believe because in your mind you already think it's an unattainable goal.
        I guess it's like how that saying goes.... It's easy when you know how.
        • appetite, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Don't stress, you're talking to computer geeks. Sex requires mind and body awareness. Most of the people in here probably failed gym class.

          It's stupid and easy to doubt the possibility of consistently giving random girls multiple orgasms. But if you look at sex like playing an instrument, you'll see how the skills can develop with careful practice. I give my girlfriend 3-6 orgasms unless I'm too tired. Sometimes I'll be really lazy and settle for one. It takes persistence and active attention, real mental and physical energy. It is exactly like playing an instrument. You don't have to believe it, you can just play the skin flute the rest of your life...
  • ButterBuddha, on 10/10/2007, -4/+8Buried as Inaccurate: female orgasms are just a myth
    • grey580, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1LOL! Oh man female orgasms are the bomb!
      There's nothing sexier than a woman whiping her head around while she orgasms.
      Very Sexxy!
    • FiercestCalm, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2This is a myth that should be tested on mythbusters.
      • bennison, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Indeed... and I have just the right woman in mind for the test subject.
  • badjoke, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13Man, all the digg girls came out of the woodwork for this story.
  • theworldisflat, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Women who fake are doing it with men who don't know the difference. For the seasoned veteran, it is more than apparent if your partner has reached climax. She may be able to moan and groan until the cows come home... but cold lips, dilated pupils and flushed extremities don't lie.
    • jessicageorge, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Absolutely true when you knock it out of the park. There are many feel good moments as well. So don't cheat your yourself.
    • Jugalator, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Or the vaginal contractions if you're inside her. Pretty hard to fake realistically.

      Btw, why the hell was the parent modded down to 0? Who're the kids who abuse the rating system anyway by modding down insightful replies, and up old memes here.
  • barber107, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3It is much worse to wonder if your partner really had an orgasm then it is to have her explain it isn't going to happen that time. Open and honest communication is the true foundation of a real relationship and no amount of orgasm (real or fake) will replace that. If you cannot have open and honest communication about everything you really shouldn't be having sex...
  • JenadaeXX, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Women are really only hurting themselves by faking it.
  • jessicageorge, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3Hey gang, what about the fact that sex can feel good? Moaning and groaning could mean we are enjoying ourselves too. I love orgasms, don't get me wrong. However for women it's not always the end game. Believe it or not we like to make you guys happy too...since it's not that hard we don't have as many questions or have to communicate. It's freakin hard to say hey I'd like you to do this or that with out making it your new 'project' which sometimes makes it worse because you forget about all the other good things you do and go with the hint/recommendation like it was the secret key. We luv ya guys. Orgasms are better with you than without.
    • waste49, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Jessica, you're certainly unlike other women I've experienced: There are PLENTY of women who are frustrated when they don't have an orgasm, and some of the more direct ones will let you know! It's too bad, there shouldn't be an 'end game' for doin' it unless you're a) religious, b) trying to sprout a baby, or c) have some notches in your bedpost. The goal should be love or fun!
    • grey580, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Hi Jess. I think that feeling good is what sex is about.
      However my point of view is that, in bed, it's my job to make you feel the best I can. And usually that involves making a girl orgasm.
      And I think another point is that men 99.999999999% of the time will orgasm. Women on the other hand aren't anywhere near as lucky.
      However if the guy you are with has the mindset that he's going to make it amazing for you. Then that just makes the sex all the much better.
      Unfortunately most guys have the Al Bundy attitude that 30 seconds is all you need to please.
  • sonoran, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2If you can take your ego out of the mix it's fun to find out what your girl likes! Frame of mind is more important than all the tips and techniques.
    • grey580, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0uhhmmmm... isn't that itself a technique?
  • dannydowney, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0 Great conversation on this topic. Some of it really funny. I would say If your lady has to fake it and not tell u , there is bad communications in that relationship.
  • MTessa, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0I don't know. I don't have to tell my vibrator where to go ;) Just kidding with men, I mean without or no it's with...*****. I'll decide later. How about both?
    • waste49, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0God bless technology!
    • grey580, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0And MTessa that's a problem. A guy should be man enough to find out where to go.
      and yeah vibrators are fun :)
  • huszar02, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1In my experiences, if women have had a rough day or have stress, they're just not going to feel very sexual at times, and often they're doing their partners a favor by still having sex, I mean, think about it, we all do things for others that we may not feel like doing, but do them anyway, whether it's taking out the trash, giving a massage, or having sex. In fact, I think it's good for a relationship that when one partner needs something that the other reasonably helps them out.

    Look, most guys can finish as quickly as they want to, but I'm a very fair partner, and do want my women to have orgasms, it's a habit. It's supposed to be a mutual transaction. If she really doesn't care that much and wants me to finish up, hell, if she fakes it, it helps me to finish more quickly because then the need for the mutuality has ended.

    If you fake all the time, you're cheating yourself. But little white lies are sometimes good for relationships (Do I look fat?) and if it makes your partner happier and you aren't robbing yourself of pleasure then go ahead and fake it. What would be worse is for her to look bored and say something like "Are you done yet?"
  • doctorlw, on 10/10/2007, -2/+0I can't believe all the negative responses this is getting. Faking an orgasm isn't the end of the world. I'm a guy and I've done it before, I'm sure I've had it done to myself as well - although normally I can tell when a girl orgasms. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. Every time can't be perfect, and sometimes you just don't want to finish what you started and want to avoid the drama.
  • kerguelen72, on 10/10/2007, -6/+1Another article by some fridgid ***** lesbian *****.
  • curiousgrge, on 10/10/2007, -3/+0LOLPussy sez: "I'm in ur head faking orgazmz."
  • markusfarkus, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5Where did the assumption that men orgasm 100% of the time come from? Granted, I'm sure that it's a much higher percentage than women, but it's sure not a guaranteed thing.
    • Jugalator, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Agreed... And for those who can't get their head around how that's possible - condoms is one way she may not know.
      Here's an article on this - http://lifewise.canoe.ca/SexRomance/Lovewise/2007/02/28/pf-3677038.html
    • GrantTLC, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0I faked one once. I was with this girl, getting it on, when suddenly I became incredibly bored by the whole set-up: bored of the sex, bored enough to start wondering what else to do with my day, bored of her even (although I think this had been building for a while). She didn't notice a thing, which surprised me a little - didn't she notice the lack of end-product? If she did she never got the chance to tell me: we broke up two days later.

      But that was in an extreme situation - if I found out my woman did this regularly to me, or even once-in-a-while, it would upset me more than if she just admitted it at the time.
  • justlook, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1Fake it for me.
  • Omega19, on 10/10/2007, -4/+3Faking it every time is okay.

    We. Don't. Care.
    • subversive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+0This is so true!
      Out of the 12 guys I've been with, only 1 could reliably give me an orgasm and he was also the only one who cared to even attempt it! (Ex #1 did try once or twice but ultimately gave up as his own was much more important.)
      • grey580, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0And that's a shame. #1 on the priority list should be you and not him.
        Otherwise why even bother.
        • subversive, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0If there is a very lucky lady in your life, I hope she appreciates you! ;)
  • BrokenBrick, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2Sounds like men just need to learn how to give their girls some good head.
    • Jugalator, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Or stop dating transsexuals.
      • grey580, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0You got a hummer from the tranni didn't you?
  • floatingpoints, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2Why do women fake orgasms?

    Because they think men care.
  • DryMaltExtract, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Ah women. They complain that life is difficult and then they just go make it more difficult for themselves.

    The general consensus is that the guy has to do everything. What a pain.
  • homedaddy, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0I wonder how women would feel if their men were faking it?
    http://nymag.com/nymetro/nightlife/sex/columns/nakedcity/n_9882/
    • Rotzooi, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0How can a man fake it? Or don't you all come all over your partner's face?
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