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239 Comments
- DanielleJM, on 09/03/2008, -4/+134Or just grow a pair and call your boss and say "i cant come to work today, im sick"
- bullsfan03, on 09/03/2008, -3/+89If ya gotta work tomorrow, call in sick. Your boss says, 'You don't sound sick.' Say, 'Well, I'm *****' my sister! Does that sound sick enough for ya?!? --Rodney Carrington
- truck87bp, on 09/02/2008, -3/+69Go to work...go see Boss...puke on floor outside his door..he will probably send you home.
- chrisemc, on 09/03/2008, -3/+62Have your Mom call?
- KSUdesigner, on 09/03/2008, -2/+47Since when do McDonalds workers get 2-3 weeks of vacation?
- FulcrumVitesse, on 09/03/2008, -12/+56In a society where you have 2-3 weeks vacation a year, and are expected to work 10-12 hours a day for minimum wage, there's nothing unethical about taking a day off like this.
- dezweber, on 09/03/2008, -1/+41I work with a chick who could actually add to the list. I've worked in this new department for 4 months and she comes up with some good ones.
Excuses for being late:
1) Spider in car
2) Truck rolled over in front of her on the way to work
3) Heat stroke
4) Ran into relative at the gas station
5) Dropped coffee on clothes.
6) God hates her. (REALLY. She said this. She prayed that she'd wake up on time and God didn't answer her prayer.)
Excuse for calling out:
1) This one's good for chicks and works for 3 days a month, apparently: endometriosis. Cramps so bad she can't sit in front of a computer.
2) Mother having elective surgery.
3) Have to bring mother for check-up after elective surgery.
4) Needs to get her adult ADD script filled (good for once a month). Apparently, the only doctor who can prescribe this for her is located two hours away and cannot call the prescription in to a local pharmacy. - Alli3388, on 09/03/2008, -4/+37In France the STANDARD number of vacation days is 52. Yes, 52! Some get more, but the general rule, backed by the government, is 52. And other countries have siestas every day... They are still productive nations, and the people seem rather more laid back, and not as fat. I think North America is a little ***** up in this department. We have it wrong.
- inactive, on 09/03/2008, -1/+33if you believe your lie... then it is true.
- amigabill, on 09/03/2008, -0/+32I don't have sick days. I have only PTO (Paid Time Off) time. We use it for whatever we like, going to museums, working on our house, or hiding under the covers with a high fever.
- BXRWXR, on 09/03/2008, -5/+36Work From Home is the biggest scam out there.
- kbull, on 09/03/2008, -0/+30Simple...just don't make a habit of it. If you have a decent employer you call and say, "I'm calling in sick today." Maybe I'm just lucky, because that's all it takes. I kinda feel bad for those of you who get ***** from their boss for it.
- evilregis, on 09/03/2008, -3/+30If you call in sick during the week, Tuesday to Thursday, make sure you take two days. No one is sick one day. Plan ahead and cough and sniff and ***** the day before you plan on pulling it off and call in sick as soon as you wake up when your voice is still 'sleepy'.
- Herostratus, on 09/03/2008, -2/+28Food poisoning is my favorite excuse, I used it to cover for a hangover a couple weeks ago...
- rivalius13, on 09/03/2008, -7/+30Get a real job hippy.
- lensman00, on 09/03/2008, -0/+22You really think so? I got to a point where it was difficult to deal with office nonsense (loud gossips, the manager who holds his morning check-in meetings in the hallway, buzzards circling over leftover management meeting food "free pizza!!!"). Yeah, I have some distractions at home too, but I get more unbroken stretches of productivity here, which is key to getting my work done. Now I don't need a "mental health day" anymore.
- lnxfi, on 09/03/2008, -2/+22"Hi Boss, I'm not going to be in today. I have explosive diarrhea."
no one ever questions that one. It's like playing with fire filled with poop. runny poop. - mobislink, on 09/03/2008, -0/+20I get 20 PTO days a year. There is no distinction between sick days and vacation days. They all come out of the same pool of 20 days. So when I tell my boss I am taking a day off there is no need to indicate if I'm sick or just need to relax for a day. I just have to make sure I cover all my responsibilities by canceling my meetings and delegating my work if needed.
- MOJIRA, on 09/03/2008, -1/+20Or just grow a real pair and call your boss and say "***** this *****, I'm not coming in today".
- ohnoerino, on 09/03/2008, -4/+21It's called "pretending"
- lisaawesome, on 09/03/2008, -0/+16I had one bad experience when I had a doctor's note stating exactly that I could not do my job because the working conditions in the freezer were prolonging my bronchitis and my boss shrugged and said I should wear another scarf. A few days later I happened to quit. I wonder why. If your boss doesn't give a ***** when you have documentation then you need to get the ***** out of there. Nothing is worth it.
- skabyss, on 09/03/2008, -0/+16Works for me about twice a week
- bglav, on 09/03/2008, -0/+15And you're above free food?
- skipdog172, on 09/03/2008, -2/+17that is essentially what the article is telling you to do! in fact, i like your summary better!
- athinnes, on 10/01/2009, -0/+13Exactly same with me. It's my time. I'm taking off.
- lewhich, on 09/03/2008, -0/+12I actually get more done working from home ... my work are (the basement) is extremely distraction free (the kid, etc.). The only problem is sometimes when you code you forget what time it is and the whole day just slips by.
- ousthouse, on 09/03/2008, -0/+11I have that too - but it makes you feel guilty for taking vacation, because you never know when you're going to get sick for a week.
- Gauthic, on 09/03/2008, -1/+12Basket weaving and "fooball"?
- inactive, on 09/02/2008, -0/+11Brilliant.
- WhiskeyLemur, on 06/30/2009, -2/+13Not necessarily true - my migraines (yes, my for-real, diagnosed, medicated migraines) last one day, and the couple of times I got food poisoning, I was good to go the next day.
- Cuchanu, on 09/03/2008, -0/+11I totally agree. I get ***** done at home; when I'm at the office I'm on Digg... got to get back to work.
- WhiskeyLemur, on 06/30/2009, -0/+10I'm sure the money you're saving on gas is helping too.... I'm incredibly jealous of people whose position allows them to work from home even once every couple of weeks.
- YourMom11, on 09/03/2008, -0/+9Funnily enough, Mondays and Fridays make up 40% of the work week. Imagine that.
- Kenzan, on 09/03/2008, -2/+11That's ok, I'm at your Mom's house.
My wife is a 600lb troll, BTW. - purzzzell, on 09/03/2008, -1/+10and we sit here at Digg all day when we should be doiing real work.
Then again, if they gave me 52 days of vacation a year...I may be more into being more productive when I'm here. - lisaawesome, on 09/03/2008, -0/+9Sometimes it doesn't work though. I can attest to that. Some of us have had merciless douche bags for bosses.
- sockpuppets, on 09/03/2008, -0/+9That's ok, my mom has aids.
- inactive, on 09/03/2008, -1/+10just call em up and say you're in the catskills and would appreciate it if you could take the day off and go hunting
- Shao00, on 09/03/2008, -1/+10i don't see an issue with using the days the company gave me. As long as I get my projects done, no one ever says anything anyway....
- Cuchanu, on 09/03/2008, -0/+9Tell 'em you were a POW in Nam and you didn't have a kitchen table.
- sockpuppets, on 09/03/2008, -1/+10When I take the day off I spend it with your wife.
- inactive, on 09/03/2008, -2/+11It's all about the clammy hands:
"You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms." - atgunning, on 09/03/2008, -0/+9Being a Manager myself, I really don't give a ***** why people miss work. I just care how frequently. You really shouldn't miss more than 1-2 days per month, max. In fact, I give bonus points to the honest ones that say "I wanted to play WoW all day nude"
- Ramble, on 09/03/2008, -1/+10My God what are your degrees in? Philosophy and Music?
- Radar3D, on 09/03/2008, -0/+9I'm not going to be in today, boss. You know why.
- Kenzan, on 09/03/2008, -2/+11As a Manager, the "Food Poisoning" thing never fooled me.
Better to shove kleenex up your nose and talk into the phone with your head upside down.
That's more convincing. - thespiff, on 09/03/2008, -2/+11Last time I went to work sick everyone yelled at me because they didn't want to catch my cold.
- kocurejd, on 09/03/2008, -0/+9Food poisoning is the absolute best excuse. Nobody is going to question whether or not you're really sick because they don't want you in the office, going to the bathroom every 5 minutes to *****/puke.
- locke2002, on 09/03/2008, -3/+11Only works if you have a weak digestive system. What the hell is with people who get sick from eating at Taco ***** Bell? Pussies...
- vdubski, on 09/03/2008, -1/+9Sounds like you have a ***** job.
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