What is Digg?220 Comments
- DickyMcPhallus, on 10/12/2007, -9/+260Try this: Listen to them talk, and always repeat the last one or two words of their sentences to keep them going. They'll think you are the most attentive listener. For example:
Girl: Thanks for inviting me out! I love italian food; my mom used to make me the best spaghetti!
Hard-up Digger: Spaghetti.
Girl: Yeah! She put meatballs in it and a dash of oregano! Even my dad loves it, and he is super picky.
Hard-up Digger: Super picky, huh?
Girl: Yeah he was always real particular when we were growing up. I remember I had to have perfect hospital corners when I made my bed in the morning... You know you are a good listener. I just feel like I could talk to you all night!
Hard-up Digger: All night!
Girl: Yeah, why don't you come back to my place after this and we can fornicate.
Hard-up Digger: FORNICATE!
Girl: *giggles* You are so bad!
Hard-up Digger: Check, please!
Just an example of active listening. But that really happened. - hiPpymIck, on 10/12/2007, -2/+164good simple advice for geeks i heard for talking to women
1) ask them questions...
2) ...then listen to what they say - herodrink, on 10/12/2007, -3/+142step 1: cut a hole in a box
- thefirelane, on 10/12/2007, -2/+128>[WoW] costs money, time and effort...
Heh, you really should stay away from women then - kmccormi, on 10/12/2007, -10/+111How to Enrapture a Woman 101:
Girl: "Can I help you?"
Boy: "I don't know. Can you?"
G: "Are you looking for something?"
B: "Is there something I should be looking for?"
[Girl laughs]
G: "We have a lot of books. So, maybe it depends on what you like."
B: "What do you like?"
G: "We have a great section of do-it-yourself."
B: "Do you like to 'do it yourself?'"
G: "Sometimes. I mean...if the mood strikes."
B: "How is the mood striking you now?"
[Girl giggles]
G: "What's your name?"
B: "What's your name?"
G: "I'm Beth."
B: "Andy."
G: "Andy. Don't tell on me, okay, Andy?"
B: "I won't. Unless you want to be told on..."
Later:
Boy: "Wow. That totally worked! I literally said nothing. And she found me fascinating!" - nicolaihel, on 10/12/2007, -11/+95OK, the ideas are good, but finding the date is the hard part!
- joeshlub, on 10/12/2007, -2/+75@hiPpymIck
You've got it totally right.
Also, make sure you never try to solve women's problems. They love to talk about things that are going wrong with thier day, thier friends, etc... but DO NOT offer any useful suggestions unless they ask. Just empathize.
Men are often about logic in conversation, all women want is emathy.
Ask questions, listen, empathize, ask questions, listen, empathize, ask questions, listen, empathize, make funny comment, repeat.
Try it, it works. And DO NOT talk about technology etc unless you know they're interested. Rule of thumb: If neither your mother or a jock would be interested, your date probably won't be either. - masgrada, on 10/12/2007, -5/+59http://www.duggmirror.com
Is that how you work the mirror? Just that? - Alphi1, on 10/12/2007, -1/+51That's all well and good, until you get the response "Yes but not you"....
That's a sting that lasts... - wyrdness, on 10/12/2007, -1/+49@hiPpymIck
Geek: So which Linux distro do you use?
Woman: Leave me alone, you jerk.
My advice would be to take up some non-geeky hobbies that women are also interested in. That way you've got something to talk about without sounding boring. - ReaperUnreal, on 10/12/2007, -3/+49I dunno, some of those drugs can be pretty expensive, then you need to buy her a drink. It's too complicated, just use the old standby pickup line:
"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
It's better when they can't say no. - AvsJenn, on 03/31/2009, -0/+39Or date a geek girl. You might have to talk to her intelligently though.
- Puttzy, on 10/12/2007, -12/+47haha You cant get a date.
First point of advice: Stop reading blogs about other peoples' dates and submitting them to digg - Anti, on 10/12/2007, -3/+37ha ha ha ha, oh man, you are witty. Another "Digg users can't get girls" joke. I hope these jokes never stop.
- ClassicJBC, on 10/12/2007, -0/+33[rant]
Just make sure that whatever you do, whether it's a first date or a hundredth date, that you be yourself. I know people say that all the time, but it really is the most important bit of advice when it comes to dating. If you like Linux and video games, say so. Just be attentive to his or her interests as well and don't be self-absorbed. Some people won't like you for who you are. Tough! It's worth it to know that when you finally have a connection with someone, that it's going to last.
For first dates, I suggest things--boring or exciting--that give you time to talk (read: no movies or concerts!). Save those things for second and third dates... or to redeem a night that's otherwise lost on a bad date. Dinner/drinks is the default, but there are always variants (e.g., getting ice cream and going for a walk). Good luck, and happy dating.
Oh, and last but not least... don't feel obligated to date in the first place. If you live a healthy life and are happy with it, then great. Meet people on your own time. Don't let your family or the media make you feel less valuable just because you're not seeing someone.
[/rant] - UCLCCN, on 10/12/2007, -2/+32Great dates = Spending time together... Seriously, thats about it.
- ZeroFresh, on 10/12/2007, -0/+28Reading some of these posts have identified which of you have actually had success or experience with women and which of you have not.
First off, WOW players still get play. Just don't talk about WOW to the girl and you're in the clear. Unless of course she plays WOW (it's rare but I know a couple who do) then I guess it's OK.
Second off, pay for her on dates yes, but if she offers to pay for something after you've been on a couple of dates you should let her. It lets her know that you're willing to provide but you also respect her independence. Besides, you can take the money you saved not paying for whatever she paid for and buy her flowers at RANDOM. Random flowers are key.
Whoever said ask questions and then listen knows what they're talking about. Also throw in compliments here and there. Nothing that is too obvious, just something that will get a quick smile. Too many are not always good, it'll come off as you trying to hard and lose it's effect.
And another cheap thing to do that is a great date is go ice skating. Even if you both can't ice skate, it's still tons of fun and you can laugh about it over hot chocolate afterward. - johnmalc, on 10/12/2007, -2/+28Also, hosted on Cheap but Terrible servers.
- inspecality, on 10/12/2007, -4/+29Poetry readings? Are you kidding me? Museums? This guy is on crack. I don't even see "back seat gropefest and a broken prophylactic" anywhere.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+26Me thinks you should just stop trying to pick up shallow money-focused bimbos.
I've used 4 of these methods in the first couple of dates, and they DO work. (picnic, beach, festival & window shopping!)
Personally, the best relationship I've ever had started with a picnic in a park, followed by a long walk and a coffee at the other end.
The second date was dinner at her place. She cooked a perfect pasta, but made a bit of a mess with the second course (some kind of sponge-creature!)
Anyway, the point is, I only got invited to her place for dinner because I made such a good impression with the first date. She actually told me she found it refreshing to meet someone who wasn't trying to impress her by flashing the cash. Just as well, as I was a student back then...
Point is, any knob can pay for a meal. It takes a bit of ingenuity to surprise a girl with something different. - DreKor, on 10/12/2007, -0/+24you should really get that couch
- adage, on 10/12/2007, -0/+21Seems you havent dated a rich girl. They are used to being spoiled moreso than the average girl, and are usually pretty materialistic (I'm used to having/getting nice things!!!"), making them pretty "high maintenance."
- kaervas59, on 10/12/2007, -2/+23Digg need a "how to understand girl" category???
- shanealeslie, on 10/12/2007, -3/+24Ha! Thats a load of crap. I'm a nerd, even MADE the t-shirt. All my friends are nerds - and most of us have ended up with wives and girlfriends far more attractive then the jocks. When I say attractive, I'm not just referring to looks and body. My wife spends more money on sci-fi and fantasy books then I do - and I end up reading most of them, she bought the PS/2 the week it came out, and there are always new games in the house for me to play when I come home from work. She insists that I go play D&D with my friends at least twice a month (12 to 18 hour sessions of getting trashed on anyting we feel like while we play as long as we come home sober.), and then asks me how the game was - and sits though the two hours of recap - and she's even made suggestions about how to deal with 'cliffhanger' encounters that have worked!. She takes me out dancing and for drinks with our friends form our clubbing days - most of the pro D.J.s in our area are A/V and band nerds from back in the day, and that gets us VIP treatment when we come see them. She likes Lost, Heros, Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, insisted that I download the IT crowd from the UK when she heard about it - and she likes to get her freak on regularly. She's got the female nerd tendency to actually apply food and nutritional science that she learns about - so I eat way better than I ever had - tastier and healthier.
The jocks from high school that I've run into all have wives that care about nothing more than shopping, fashion, and entertainment gossip/news, they bitch about them spending Sundays at the sports bar getting tanked while watching football. They end up eating pre-packaged crap-from-a-can most nights, their ex-cheerleader wives stopped trying to be hot after they landed their meal ticket, and too top it off a lot of the jocks are divorced, or might as well be.
I spent my club land years being greeted by D.J.s in my area with "NERRRRRRRRRRRRRD" being growled over the sound system when I walked in wearing a phosphorous-detergent washed (so it glowed in the black light) t-shirt with NERD in flaming letters printed on the front and back. They played songs that I burned off the web by totally unknown bands because they knew I was an A/V geek too. women bought me drinks so they would have an excuse to chat with me when I took breaks from enthusiastically flailing about the dance floor - much to the consternation of the jocks and jar-heads that just stood there drinking, or watching the game on the T.V.. When Enterprise started up I hosted a weekly 'Enterprise Party' at my place - by the third episode I had 20ish people showing up every week 3/4 of them Nerdish women, and then we'd all go out dancing afterwards. 'Nerd Life' is the best if you actually live a 'Nerd Life' - screw 'Thug Life' and 'Jock Life' - smart women stop looking for bad boys and big hulks once they hit college and realize the the best men are the ones that think, have empathy, and actually want to have a relationship with a woman - not just get drunk and *****.
A sociable nerd only needs to follow one kinda complex rule when dating to end up with the woman of his dreams...
"Don't judge a woman appearance based on women in popular media - less than 1% of women meet the 'industrial standards' of beauty; instead base your perception of beauty on the entirety of who she is - her interests, beliefs, carriage and deportment, the company she keeps, and how she treats others. Look ahead 20 years, and try and see if you would still want to spend a day just talking with her - if so, go for it, if not why bother?" - hode, on 10/12/2007, -1/+21You two should hook up.
- orlyfactor, on 10/12/2007, -7/+27Just date rich girls. Problem solved.
- kmartshopper, on 10/12/2007, -7/+26Two words kids: dollar menu.
Now you just need to get a woman. I've found hookers can be a bit easy. And they won't complain their burgers cold either.
Good stuff. - DreKor, on 10/12/2007, -3/+21Wow, that's what I did wrong.
And then, when I hit my 20s I realized that I hadn't wasted high school and college playing football/baseball/badminton and was actually employable. Also, being around people with an IQ higher than 85 allowed me to hone my conversational skills to the point where I could talk to anybody about virtually anything. This comes in handy when talking to random girls who's interests stretch from European politics to early American literature. It also helps to not view athletics as a job. This way you'll be inclined to work out after your gridiron glory days are over instead of finally taking the time to relax with a couple of beers. This will ensure that you're body is always exactly what you want instead of what your coach said it should be.
In conclusion, nerds get girls too. - thegreeneyedkri, on 10/12/2007, -2/+19Honestly, you want to really get a girl? Do something nice in front of her for someone else. If you're on the subway with a girl you like, offer your seat to the elderly person standing, or the mother with her little kid. It's really that simple people. Show a girl you care about others and she'll melt. My last boyfriend finally got me when we were hanging out and we saw on the news that it was going to be below zero out (I live in NYC) and that all the shelters were full so a lot of homeless were getting turned away. I said "I wish I could do something, bring them blankets, or at least something" and he told me to grab my coat. He went and grabbed some old hoodies, blankets, etc. and we drove around handing them out to people. Trust me, doing something like that works EVERYTIME.
- Revo75, on 10/12/2007, -4/+20You forgot to add the part where they are drunk.
Look for the drunkest girl that isn't throwing up or passed out(thats rape!).
Ask if you wanna *****.
If Yes, hopefully you can take it from here
If No, Repeat - Loie, on 10/12/2007, -4/+19"Family barbecues."
NO. No, no, no, no. God no. - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+16@dicky
You've told them the secret that I had to learn the hard way. I've been able to log countless rounds of CS by doing precisely what you've said. You'd be surprised at how little attention is actually needed to hold a conversation with a woman because women like to talk. Period. It doesn't matter if you actually contribute anything to the conversation. They don't care. It's like they talk just to hear their own voices and get ***** off of their chest..which in turn soothes them. When they tell you about their problems, they don't want your solution. I know it's hard because as men, and geeks, we go straight into troubleshooting mode when someone or something seems broken, but it's not what they want. They want you to just say "[insert last 2 words here] huh? that sucks but it will be ok" or "[insert last 2 words here]? Cool, what's that like" or some other *****. Fascinating really.
So many guys end up with MPO's (missed..opportunities) because they overestimate the importance of impressing a girl their intellect during conversations. It isn't that serious. You don't need to tell her your entire life story or put on your cape and save her from her problems. Just feign attention and you'll be ok. I swear I've dated some girls for 1 year before actually talking about myself in depth..and they never realize it because "i'm such a good conversationalist". :|
Another thing, and my mom taught me this. If you're ever worried about how to get the conversation going, you only need to ask 1 question. "So, how was your day?"
That's it.
You're in.
Women love it when you ask them that, even if you don't care how their day was. They just want to feel like you care about what they do..which you probably don't but that's beside the point. As long as you don't say anything stupid or do (you can actually do something stupid but most will either brush it off and give you another chance or dismiss it as being oddly cute) anything ridiculously offensive to them, the panties are yours for the taking. - ReaperUnreal, on 10/12/2007, -2/+17Well you'll certainly bond more. That is until the chemical bonds holding your skin together fail.
- DickyMcPhallus, on 10/12/2007, -0/+14@countrygirl31
All of those... pauses... I read them and... pause... in my mind.
[/shatner]
That's why you're being dugg down. The pauses made the comment three times as long to read because I kept having to stop. - Karyyk, on 10/12/2007, -0/+14This would have been a nice set of pointers...before she dumped me.
- whoucallindigga, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15That's about as useful as being stranded on a desert isle with a copy of 'the Joy of Sex'.
- celeb, on 10/12/2007, -1/+14Server is down so.....
Every Wednesday is Financial Tips Day on Zen Habits.
Reader Adam Lehman wrote with this request:
I’m a single, college guy so how bout some articles on creative, free dates or something. I’m sure this could apply to married men as well.
Great question — I particularly love it because it’s something that I’ve become good at myself over the years. Yes, I’m a cheapskate, but I’m also a bit of a romantic. So I’ve had to get creative in order to win my date over without spending too much.
What follows are just some ideas — the key is to use your imagination, and you’ll be able to come up with a bunch of your own. But here are some that have worked for me (read: I got another date instead of being rejected as usual), and that I hope work for you:
* Picnic. One of my favorites. I like to pack a basket with home-made sandwiches (really hearty, good ones with good bread), fruits, cheese, desserts, candies, wine, snacks and all the utensils and napkins. Find a great spot for the picnic — sunset is probably the most romantic time.
* Treasure hunt. Another favorite. I set this up beforehand, writing clues on pieces of paper and leaving them all around town. Each clue led to the next, and at the end was a gift. You’ll have a blast driving around. It’s best if the places and clues are meaningful to the two of you.
* Home-cooked meal with candles. A specialty of mine. Even if you can only cook one thing well, you’ve got it made. Pasta or steaks are easy and sure bets (although I don’t eat steak anymore). A good dessert tops it off well. The candles are a nice touch. Pick some flowers too. Most women love a man who can cook, especially for them.
* Massage. This is most likely only appropriate if you’ve been going out for a few dates, but if you’re close enough for a good massage, this will win her over. Get some scented massage oil. Do the entire body, starting with the head, down to the neck, the back, legs and feet. Skip the tempting areas (or at least save them for last) or the massage might not last long.
* The beach. I live on an island, so this one’s easy. If you don’t have a beach, any other nice natural setting, like lake or river or mountain, will also work. You can pack a picnic, or just get some bathing suits and some beer and have a great time.
* Festivals. Look in your local paper … you might find all kinds of festivals, from movies to dance to desserts and more. They cost very little, and they are a blast. Walk around, make jokes, sample everything.
* Old movie marathon. Nothing’s more romantic than great old movies. Rent a bunch of them on DVD, pop some popcorn, get some candy, and watch them in your living room wrapped in blankets. A few sure-fire recommendations: Casablanca, Roman Holiday, Some Like It Hot, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, hell anything with Audrey Hepburn.
* Window shopping. Walk around and look at stuff at some of your favorite stores — antique stores, used bookstores, unique clothing. Try stuff on. Make fun of stuff. Make it fun.
* Watch meteors. Get a blanket and look up at the stars. It’s best if there’s a meteor shower — shooting stars are magical. Otherwise, learn a few constellations and point them out to her. Ponder the mysteries of the universe.
* Play in the snow or water. If you’ve got snow, you’ve got magic. Otherwise, a pool or ocean or lake are also great ways to play. Playful is good. So is a little innocent physical contact. Roll around!
* Museum. I love museums. They’re fascinating. If the girl thinks they’re fascinating too, you’ve got a winner. Zoos are fun too. Also carnivals. Buy cotton candy.
* Family barbecues. If you’ve been on a couple dates, you might be comfortable bringing her to a family gathering. A casual one like a barbecue is probably better to start with than Thanksgiving dinner or something. Although, going to a wedding is also fun. Barbecues are great because there’s good food and it’s free! Also, if your family is a lot of fun, you’ve got free entertainment!
* Shakespeare. I like watching plays, especially by the Bard. If the girl likes that too … well, she’s worth her weight in gold, as far as I’m concerned. And Shakespeare is very romantic. Quote her some lines afterward.
* Sundaes. Delicious and fun. Share toppings.
* Poetry reading. These can be a lot of fun, especially if you have a poem you can go up and read. Write one especially for her and tell everyone it’s dedicated to her. Then have some beers and watch the others. Poetry can be very romantic (unless it’s the angry kind, in which case it’s a lot of fun).
Again, you can probably come up with a million more of your own ideas. I hope these spark some good ones! And if you use any of these, you don’t have to give me credit, but do write to me to thank me if you get lucky. ;) - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+14Aaargh!
i'd rather spend the night doing the old five-fingered shuffle than go to a karaoke bar - Karyyk, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13Unless they like saving money (or have no choice).
- jledgerwood, on 10/12/2007, -1/+14I got three words for you...Star.....Trek....Convention
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+15@mcvarmazi
Really? Tell me more...
you have really beautiful eyes, by the way ;) - Qwiggalo, on 10/12/2007, -1/+14And skip that couch you need to buy.
And that transmission line you need to fix, because women are more important. - surasshu, on 10/12/2007, -2/+14Great article, actually! Rare to find decent advice on dating online. Going to a museum is definitely one of my favourite dates.
Not mentioned: as a first date I always like going for a coffee/tea at a nice place (ie. not Starbucks, not that there's anything against Starbucks, it's just not romantic). It's cheap, you can talk and get to know each other a little, it's a nice environment, and if the date goes sour, you can bail pretty much at any time without being insulting.
A long walk in the park/watching a sunset is also romantic and cheap. Free, even! - jayhawk, on 10/12/2007, -2/+14great! the site is down and it's using Bluehost, which is the same company i use. note to self: never write anything that's worthy of some diggs. doh!
- StrangerSkies, on 10/12/2007, -0/+12Actually, that sounds like a perfect date. If any guy did that, I'd definitely want a second date.
- member57, on 10/12/2007, -11/+231. Computer
2. Gigs of downloaded porn
3. Lubricant
4. Towel
5. Beer (or other alcoholic beverage)
6. When done you shut it off and not have to cuddle. - evilTak, on 10/12/2007, -1/+13Yeah, the problem with that is that most guys have already figured that out, and most women are so tired of insincere compliments from jackasses who want into their pants that they don't even try to differentiate sincere compliments.
Additionally, I have yet to meet a woman who thinks it's romantic instead of chauvinistic to order for her. This seems to be true for most things "gentlemen do." - BornWithRage, on 10/12/2007, -4/+16@andysciu
not even funny. - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+13MatthewDuke:
I used to play basketball, buddy. It dominated my time.
Today, I live in my parent's basement, make great money programming, have 9 FreeBSD servers beside my table, and do fine with women. I lift weights and go skiing every once in a while to stay in shape. And I love life a lot more now.
Sport is not the answer--balance is the key. - DeskFlyer, on 10/12/2007, -1/+12Not a bad list at all. I like the meteor watching idea. Something else cool would be to drive out to the countryside on a crystal clear night armed with a telescope and show her around the sky (of course, neglecting to mention that it is a computerized telescope that can find attractions automatically with the press of a few buttons). ;P
(Sorry, astronomy geek here) -
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