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283 Comments
- mishaneah, on 01/22/2009, -15/+260I soak mine in a bath of bacon grease before handing it off. Always clinches the deal.
- deaker, on 07/28/2009, -4/+246Site seems down, here is their list.
1. Responsible for
2. Experienced
3. Excellent written communication skills
4. Team Player
5. Detail oriented
6. Successful - jjamminjon, on 01/22/2009, -6/+218#1." My website crashed after 88 diggs."
- Jordan117, on 01/22/2009, -4/+154From The Onion:
TOP VERBS APPEARING ON RESUMES:
Spearheaded
Embezzled
Impregnated
Narrowly averted
Harpooned
Dislocated
Vanquished
Honey-glazed
Hypertyped
Faggoted up
Larry-Kinged
Megafiled
Estimatated
Did - inactive, on 01/22/2009, -3/+122My only resume is a Benjamin Franklin bill.
- jboitnott, on 01/22/2009, -9/+121In all honesty... it's time to go back to the drawing board with mine after reading this thing.
- raskali, on 01/22/2009, -1/+108Please send me your resume.
- Oldbitcollector, on 01/22/2009, -7/+111In six words, your server sucks
- Gizza, on 01/22/2009, -4/+90Do they give any reasons for these words? Because half of them seem to be ok imo.
If you are responsible for something or have experience in a certain element what else are you suppose to write to convey that?
Eg, At my current job I am responsible for maintaining the company website and have experience in .NET. - doublefelix, on 01/22/2009, -5/+89'Experienced team player responsible for detail oriented, and excellent written communications' must have been single-handedly knocking the rungs out of my career ladder all these years.
- MrFisty, on 01/22/2009, -2/+85Personally, as an employer, I don't have a problem with these words. The phrases that bug me though are things like "self motivated", "enthusiastic" and "lateral thinker".
To me, I just expect those of anyone applying for a job. It's like saying "Will wear pants to work" or "Doesn't physically assault other employees." - Voide, on 01/22/2009, -1/+80Who the ***** wears pants to work?
- anou231, on 01/22/2009, -13/+91You know what sucks? Dane Cook.
- ProfessorLX, on 01/22/2009, -0/+73#7 - Pedophile
- Tsumnia, on 01/22/2009, -3/+71And suddenly, half of all diggers check their resume, even if they have a secure job.
- oboshoe, on 01/22/2009, -3/+70Because all resumes have them.
Those words are essentially meaningless. They do NOTHING to make you stand out. In fact, they make you blend right in.
The trick is to get the same idea across quickly, and succinctly without being a cliche.
tricky, but vital. - Aooogah, on 01/22/2009, -0/+57Pfft, amateur. I print mine ON bacon.
- siandt, on 01/22/2009, -1/+55Mine says none of those because I am none of those. Employment is mine!
- Concotelli, on 01/22/2009, -2/+50That's why I use only words that make my resume stand out. They include:
1. Superfly
2. Pimpin'
3. Barking spider
4. Booty-licious - deity, on 01/22/2009, -3/+41Honestly, the resume is not as important for my organization. The only thing your resume really does is get you past HR so that you can get a phone screening with a manager. If you can do that, it is far more important than having or not having buzz words.
Just as a hint if you see a job that's posted with a list of qualifications and you can honestly match some or most of them than rephrase them and put them into your resume. Don't be afraid to customize your resume for each job. Your main goal, if you are confident you are qualified is to get past all of the barriers organizations put in place so that you can talk to someone you can impress.
One of the most important things on a resume is to have someone that's better at writing than you are proof read it.. It's one thing to use poor grammar or bad spelling on digg it's a whole other problem when you are trying to impress someone and one of the qualifications is written communication. Also don't expect spell check to do it for you have someone proofread it or you will have beer or bear in place of bare. - SpongeBad, on 01/22/2009, -0/+37and Nickelback.
- nicejai, on 01/22/2009, -1/+38Top phrases and words appearing on my resume from now on:
1. "Dismissing resumes"
2. "Based on"
3. "Ridiculously trivial and stupendously superficial"
4. "Reasons"
5. "Are an indication of"
6. "A talentless"
7. "Word-matching narcissist "
8. "Completely incapable of basic inference or even cursory analysis" - Paulish, on 01/22/2009, -2/+39aaaaannnnd down... mirror
http://rorr.im/ - cerealjynx, on 01/22/2009, -1/+35Page Load Error is only 3 words.
- inactive, on 01/22/2009, -5/+37Digg effect already? After being popular for 4 min? I apologize to those who visit this page later, but as of right now, this site is down.
- inactive, on 01/22/2009, -1/+32That's a long, uncommon word.
- nascentia, on 01/22/2009, -0/+30You're supposed to put it in better terms to show what you do without glossing it up, if that makes sense.
So for you, I'd write it as something like - "2006-2008 - Maintain the company website; 3 years writing programs that do -x- in .NET"
A lot of hiring managers want to see exactly what you know and do, not what you have 'experience' in or are 'familiar' with. I can honestly say I have experience in Adobe Illustrator, that's 100% true. But my experience consisted of 3 hours of class work. Not much. But if I were to say, "Did front page layout work for newspaper serving 3,000 readers for 2 years using InDesign" then that's much more accurate about what I can do.
Make sense? - AbuQutaita, on 09/18/2009, -1/+30Dugg for 'Faggoted up'
- nextekcarl, on 01/22/2009, -1/+30What is this thing you call a 'secure job'? I have never heard of them before, but I am intrigued, please elaborate.
- SonnyJoeFoxx, on 01/22/2009, -1/+29At least you'll get a call back...
- dnacid, on 01/22/2009, -1/+28from Chris Hansen...
- sugablonde, on 01/22/2009, -1/+25
6 Words That Make Your Resume Suck
* January 19, 2009 by Fox | Comments: 43
This article is part of a series called How to Write a Resume. To start this series from the beginning, read the introduction.
I’ve used a few bad words in my life. S$it, you probably have too. But when the wrong words appear on your resume, it sucks.
These sucky words are not of the four-letter variety. These words are common. They are accepted. They litter the average resume with buzzword badness. Hiring managers can identify sucky words in seconds, leaving your resume work worthless.
So how do you write a wicked resume without the suck? How do you turn the wrong words into right? To help you land the job interview, here’s how to spin the 6 sucky resume words into skills that sizzle.
1. Responsible For
My lips pucker and make sour sucking noises when I read “Responsible For” on a resume. Of course you’re responsible for something. But how many? How long? Who? What? When? Rather than waste the hiring manager’s time reading a vague list of responsibilities, be specific and use quantitative figures to back up your cited skills and accomplishments.
Employers want the numerical facts. Write percentages, dollar amounts, and numbers to best explain your accomplishments. Be specific to get the point across quickly. Prove you have the goods to get hired.
BAD
* Responsible for writing user guides on deadline.
GOOD
* Wrote six user guides for 15,000 users two weeks before deadline.
BAD
* Responsible for production costs.
GOOD
* Reduced production costs by 15 percent over three months.
The resume that avoids vague “responsibilities” and sticks to facts detailing figures, growth, reduced costs, number of people managed, budget size, sales, and revenue earned gets the job interview.
2. Experienced
Are you experienced? Sexy. Rather than cite Jimi Hendrix on your resume, pleeease just say what your experience entails. Saying you’re experienced at something and giving the facts on that experience are two very different approaches.
BAD
* Experience programming in PHP.
GOOD
* Programmed an online shopping cart for a fortune 500 company in PHP.
Hiring managers want to know what experience, skills, and qualifications you offer. Do tell them without saying, “I am experienced.”
3. Excellent written communication skills
Yes, I realize this isn’t a single word but rather a phrase. This phrase must die. It’s on most resumes. Is it on yours?
BAD
* I have excellent written communication skills.
GOOD
* Wrote jargon-free online help documentation and reduced customer support calls by 50 percent.
If you’ve got writing skills, do say what you write and how you communicate. Are you writing email campaigns, marketing materials, or user documentation? Are you word smithing legal contracts, business plans, or proposing proposals? However you wrap your words, be sure to give the details.
4. Team Player
Are we playing baseball here? Unless you want to be benched with the other unemployed “team players” then get some hard facts behind your job pitch.
BAD
* Team player working well in large and small groups.
GOOD
* Worked with clients, software developers, technical writers, and interface designers to deliver financial reporting software three months before deadline.
If you want to hit a home run then do explicitly say what teams you play on and qualify the teams’ achievements.
5. Detail Oriented
What does detail oriented mean? Give the specifics to the details with which you are oriented. Please, orient your reader to the details.
BAD
* Detail oriented public relations professional.
GOOD
* Wrote custom press releases targeting 25 news agencies across Europe.
If you have the details, do share them with the hiring manager. Give the facts, the numbers, the time lines, the dollar figure, the quantitative data that sells your skills and disorients the competition.
6. Successful
Hopefully you only list the successes on your resume. So if everything is a success, then why write the s-word? Stick to showing your success by giving concrete examples of what you’ve done to be successful! Let your skills, qualifications, and achievements speak for you.
BAD
* Successfully sold the product.
GOOD
* Increased sales of organic chocolate by 32 percent.
When it comes to your successes, please don’t be shy. Boast your best, sing your praises, and sell your skills.
Final Words
There you have it. Six of the suckiest words (or phrases) commonly found on resumes today. By focusing on the facts, detailing the details, and qualifying your qualifications you may just land yourself the job interview.
There are soooo many sucky words found on resumes today. Got one to add? Do share the suck. - handheldchimp, on 01/22/2009, -8/+31Your resume must be amazing.
- Slides, on 01/22/2009, -0/+22Never use "in all honesty" in an interview.
- kh99, on 01/22/2009, -3/+24My resume is just a series of hand-drawn pictures, that way I don't risk using any words that would make it suck.
- falstaff, on 01/22/2009, -1/+211. Your entire resume should be a list of things you have been responsible for.
2. Of course you are experienced, that's why the bulk of the resume is the "experience" section.
3. That's like saying "go out with me, I have a sense of humor." Don't say it, demonstrate it.
4. Fluff. Even if you aren't, of course you're going to say you're a team player. If it's a big part of the job for which you're applying, list specific team accomplishments.
5. Same as 3 & 4.
6. That's not typically for the applicant to decide. - talonstriker, on 01/22/2009, -0/+19awesome domain name
- Charles07v, on 01/22/2009, -5/+23mirror?
- squawkfox, on 01/22/2009, -0/+18Sorry Diggers. Site is down.
I've lived through LIfehacker, I've survived StumbleUpon, but Digg just devastated my site.
Time for new hardware. Moving to a new server this weekend. - dvsbastard, on 01/22/2009, -6/+23Any word spelled incorrectly will make your resume suck...
Seriously people, please proofread your resume before sending it to prospective employers! - copypastry, on 01/22/2009, -1/+17"convicted"
"minor"
"lewd"
"intoxicated"
"huff"
"teabagged" - nextekcarl, on 01/22/2009, -0/+16Wow, both of those things aren't givens at a few of the places I've worked.
- nextyoyoma, on 01/22/2009, -0/+16Especially with that unnecessary comma.
- je12u, on 01/22/2009, -1/+17Don't forget Mencia.
- AndrewJC, on 01/22/2009, -0/+16The words "responsible for" are horrible for resumes because they only state what you were SUPPOSED to be doing, not what you ACTUALLY did. If you were responsible for updating the website every day but you never did it, using the words "responsible for" is a perfect way to hide that fact. And a good human resources person will see that.
Instead, you're supposed to put things that you actually DID. If you updated the website every day, then say so in your resume. Don't gloss it up with useless words. Say what you mean. - ajde, on 01/22/2009, -1/+16Or Pedobear...
- nzezelj89, on 01/22/2009, -5/+20Talk about InstaKill, didn't even hit triple-digit diggs.
- Biscuitz, on 01/22/2009, -1/+15I'm a little confused as to why you're comment got dugg down 22 times, Sandy.
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