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25 Things You Should Never Include on a Resume

hrworld.com — If you've been turned down for position after position, you could be getting desperate and may want to shake things up a bit so that your r ésumé will stand out from the piles of others stacked quietly in HR. Before you decide to get too creative, there are some rules to résumé etiquette that you should follow. Read below for 25...

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  • skewl, on 12/19/2007, -58/+2Informative things.
    • gbutton, on 12/19/2007, -2/+14Unlike this post.
    • njhardc0re, on 12/19/2007, -4/+20obviously you have zero common sense...you would actually put some of that stuff on a resume?
      • VenTatsu, on 12/19/2007, -5/+5Obviously you have never had to hire any one.
        If you had you would know how common some of these are. I have seen a few of these when I reviewed resumes last time my department hired a new programmer. We had quite a few that did a good job of fulfilling #3 and one that truly did #6 (the past jobs section was 5 pages long printed). #9 & #10 I saw plenty of both, enough that we had to start giving candidates a short 15 minute test before we would talk to them. It's amazing how many people with 5+ years of database experience can't write a create table statement or a select statement using 2 tables.
        • chicken59, on 12/19/2007, -2/+1anyone
        • MikeOSX, on 12/19/2007, -3/+16Dugg down for making us refer back to the article to understand your comment.
    • ayeroxor, on 12/19/2007, -8/+20"Bad Grammar: Bad grammar absolutely does not belong on a résumé. It shows that you are lazy, uneducated and don't care enough about the job to pay attention to detail."

      This goes for online forum posts as well. If you don't want to be treated like a retard, don't write like one.
      • Lythium, on 12/19/2007, -2/+19Resumes count as formal writing. Web forums do not. I'm a stickler for grammar, but to expect every post to read like a polished philosophical treatise is absurd.
        • ayeroxor, on 12/19/2007, -11/+5Knowing the difference between your and you're = polished treatise? Hyperbole much? Stop enabling.
        • Kerrigore, on 12/19/2007, -1/+6Wutchoo talkin bout, Willis? Every poast eye right reeds liek a polish philisophacal treat!
      • MarkOfTheDead, on 12/19/2007, -0/+5It's amazing how much more attention people pay to what you write when you make it easy on the eyes. Just by capitalizing properly, leaving the cruise control off, using the spell check and breaking it down into sentences and paragraphs with punctuation can make all the difference.
      • WaltDismal, on 12/19/2007, -1/+2People often judge what one says on the basis of whether your writing shows you can handle simple, common grammar. If someone can't master common rules, it's likely that what they're saying reflects inability to think well. And who wants to waste time reading stupidity? I recommend three simple rules to writers: 1) have something to say worth saying to others, 2) say it well (grammatically), and 3) make it interesting enough to be worthwhile.
    • falstaff, on 12/19/2007, -2/+3Not that informative. A bunch of those are so stupid that the only reason people would put them on a resume (I'm specifically thinking 4, 5, 7, 8, 15, 16 and 22) is so that it *would* get dismissed, and then open the company up to a lawsuit.
    • juttman, on 12/20/2007, -3/+4thanks for that gem, you ***** assbag. I can find more insight reading a jar of pickles
      • wisammy, on 12/20/2007, -1/+1why do you care? you actually feel that you need to attack someone for something so silly? You must be a very well adjusted individual.
        • juttman, on 12/21/2007, -0/+1I care because i come to this sight to laugh. When the first comment on a story is "Informative things" nobody laughs. Nobody wants to read "nice" or "cool stuff" or "LOL" or any other pointless comment. Follow me here bro, 1. read the story 2. think 3. type comment that may lend some insight or humor to the story. Thanks for policing the comment section, please add me as a friend so you can monitor my comments. Being nice on message boards is a new years resolution of mine.
    • diggingaround, on 12/20/2007, -0/+3I would say - common sense...
  • oreonblade, on 12/19/2007, -8/+232Irrelevant Experience? What do you mean?! Of course martial arts training is relevant! Oh excuse me, I know about a billion Asians that would beg to differ.
    • richmessenger, on 12/19/2007, -6/+48......or Dwight Schrute.
      • DanBoodro, on 12/19/2007, -11/+3YES! I loved that episode.
      • quomen, on 12/19/2007, -2/+8Yes.. that is who he's referring to. You ruin the joke.
    • xero69, on 12/19/2007, -3/+35Martial arts training is only relevant if you can send in Ninjas during the job interview
      • NoCt1, on 12/19/2007, -4/+1hmmm. maybe I can.. or can you say hostile take over
      • ApokalypseNow, on 12/19/2007, -1/+6Every good interview should involve ninjas in some way.
      • edwartica, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1Or if you know its going to make your potential boss giddy. Sucking up begins early in the game.
    • Dipster, on 12/19/2007, -17/+2Don't forget Chuck Norris!
    • petrodollar, on 12/19/2007, -5/+39Being Asian is, by itself, often sufficient to get the job.
      • ayeroxor, on 12/19/2007, -0/+10at least in the porn industry.
        • frankietears, on 12/19/2007, -0/+12... the women or the men?
          • cfuse, on 12/20/2007, -0/+2Both, and frighteningly enough, some that fit neither category. Me luv you longtime.
    • staplez, on 12/19/2007, -1/+30Jobs only like guys with skills. Bo staff skills, nun chuck skills, you know skills.
      • krebcycle, on 12/19/2007, -0/+4cage fighting skills
      • Wormfather, on 12/19/2007, -4/+1I feel a chuck norris joke comming.
        • MarkOfTheDead, on 12/19/2007, -1/+7That gust of air you just felt was the Napoleon Dynamite joke.
          • edwartica, on 12/20/2007, -0/+2It was just as pleasant as smelling a stranger's fart.
      • edwartica, on 12/19/2007, -5/+4Take your friggin' Napoleon Dynamite references and go fly into the sun, k?
    • rczik, on 12/19/2007, -11/+3When they say irrelevant experience, they mean irrelevant experience for the job that you're applying for.
      • Wormfather, on 12/19/2007, -1/+10I'm only digging you down because although accurate, your comment was a buzzkill.
      • Kerrigore, on 12/19/2007, -1/+14You must be a lot of fun at parties.
    • stuntmaster84, on 12/19/2007, -8/+2Wait...You know (about) A BILLION Asians?! WOW!
  • deadbaby, on 12/19/2007, -4/+409I would be interested in meeting the person who, before reading this article, thought these were good resume ideas.
    • xero69, on 12/19/2007, -5/+40Any fast food drive through window should suffice.
      • Kerrigore, on 12/19/2007, -3/+14Yeah, not like 75% of people working in fast food are working there because they're in high school, it must be because they are idiots that can't write a good resume.
    • Neoanarchist, on 12/19/2007, -9/+28Yea reading through these its like common sense. Bad grammar, yea i ***** make a big effort to include that ***** in my resume. Age? Like they can't do simple ***** math to figure it out? Prejudices....no ***** sherlock....family history....yet again sherlock.

      Buried as lame for lack of a Buried for wasting my time with common sense....assholes..
      • thecosmicpope, on 12/19/2007, -2/+37I hope you write resumes better than you write Digg posts.
        • Kerrigore, on 12/19/2007, -0/+8I assumed he was trying to be clever or something, but now I'm not so sure.
        • cococooky, on 12/20/2007, -1/+2I don't know about you, but I generally spend a bit more time writing a resume than writing a post.
      • michaelz92, on 12/20/2007, -1/+1*zing*
    • jspegele, on 12/19/2007, -1/+95Who wouldn't? The first paragraph on my resume is "I'm a 23 year old, straight, white, catholic, 6'0", 165lb, extremely racist, male who likes to chug beers, goof off at work and party with friends. I don't like jobs and I don't like working with people. I will hunt you down and beat the crap out of you if I don't get this job...", well you get the point. So you don't think this a good intro for my resume?
    • VenTatsu, on 12/19/2007, -1/+1I think it's illegal in my state to pass on any of the names of the people that have given my company resumes like these, but you might try posting to a job site like monster.com. Your sure to get a huge number of resumes that together will hit almost all of these points.
    • nebion, on 12/19/2007, -3/+1While most of them are obviously bad, some aren't (one thing that I might include in a resume is my age).
      • Kerrigore, on 12/19/2007, -1/+1Only in rare cases where it might actually be relevant.
        • intekra, on 12/19/2007, -0/+3Which would be when, exactly?
        • Scaryclouds, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1Certain government jobs (e.g. CIA, NSA, etc) and military (officer). Those would be my guesses.
          • xxbrighteyed, on 12/20/2007, -0/+2Or, you know, somewhere where you might sell alcohol or cigarettes

            But sure, jump straight to CIA and NSA
    • DrivebyGroper, on 12/19/2007, -0/+9I assume many of these are different across cultures. As someone who has reviewed hundreds of resumes from overseas candidates, it's apparently very common for people in other countries (I'm looking at you, India!) to include reams of extraneous information in the resume. I can't tell you how many I've seen that list the applicant's hobbies (which invariably includes cricket) and useless awards all the way back to elementary school. Who the hell cares if you were "best boy" in elementary school?

      Another annoying tendency is the 13 page resumes full of useless information. Someone will say "I worked on this particular game based on this recent movie", and then give a 500 word plot synopsis of the movie rather than explaining the technical contributions he made to the project.
    • mickcn, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1I don't know if it is a "good" idea but I like number 2. It usually translates into, "they couldn't do their ***** job good, and it pissed me off".
    • AriaStar, on 12/19/2007, -1/+2Hobbies can be worked in if they're relevant to the position. Building computers as a hobby would be useful in certain IT positions, for instance.
      • sv650touring, on 12/19/2007, -0/+2I mention it in the interview, but not on the resume.
    • jordan314, on 12/19/2007, -0/+331. duh 2. duh 3. duh 4. duh 5. duh 6. duh 7. duh 8. duh 9. duh 10. duh 11. duh 12. duh 13. duh 14. duh 15. duh 16. duh 17. duh 18. duh 19. duh 20. duh 21. duh 22. duh 23. duh 24. duh 25. duh
    • wyrdness, on 12/19/2007, -0/+7Unless you've ever tried hiring peopke, you wouldn't believe what you see on resumes. We were looking for a really experienced and talented embedded software developer with specialist knowledge of digital TV. We got a resume from a mobile phone salesman who said that his ambition was to be a stock trader. Why did he even bother sending it to us?
      • Etherium, on 12/19/2007, -0/+11I've never HIRED Peopke, but I used to work with him - a little latvian guy, right? Talks really fast and smells like black pepper? Peopke? No?
  • implied, on 12/19/2007, -7/+17926. I will kill your family if you don't hire me.
    • capiCrimm, on 12/19/2007, -1/+26after a while, though, they start to call your bluff. I recommend starting off by sending them their wives fingers. It's a proven route to success.
      • Urusai, on 12/19/2007, -1/+13Heck, just send them any old fingers you have laying around, odds are they won't notice if their wife is missing a few or not.
        • kufu91, on 12/19/2007, -0/+14(goes off to check the cabinet for spare fingers)
          • sv650touring, on 12/19/2007, -0/+12(checks pocket for spare fingers)
        • kcdstudios, on 12/19/2007, -1/+1(checks wife for missing fingers)
    • wvdavis, on 12/19/2007, -0/+6Take it easy Francis.
      • kcdstudios, on 12/19/2007, -0/+2...and if any of you *****....touch me, i'll kill ya.
        • wvdavis, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1Lee Harvey, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. If the two of us together, forget it. I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I'm gonna volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot without a big toe. And Sergeant Hulka is always gonna be here to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause to our newest, bestest buddy, and big toe... Sergeant Hulka.
    • merreborn, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1427. "Where I see myself in 5 years:
      Doing your daughter"
      • ravage86, on 12/19/2007, -2/+22Don't say doing you're wife, don't say doing you're wife

        Doing your... son?
        • cplex, on 12/20/2007, -5/+3While hovering my mouse over the green thumb I noticed your incorrect use of "you're". This prompted me to move my pointer slightly to the right. :(
          • walkerj, on 12/20/2007, -2/+3You have failed on a couple of levels, cplex.
        • colonelmustard2, on 12/20/2007, -0/+5Left?
  • Bridea, on 12/19/2007, -2/+276Title is inaccurate. Should read: "25 Things Included On Resumes by People Who Wouldn't Get The Job Anyways"
    • voyvf, on 12/19/2007, -1/+18Or, "25 Things to Include on Your Resume to Ensure a Lifetime of McJobs"
    • orlyfactor, on 12/19/2007, -3/+24Or, 25 completely obvious things I thought I'd write down to waste space on the Internets.
      • GoatMonkey2112, on 12/19/2007, -1/+8Yeah, this article is completely clogging the tubes.
    • techobo, on 12/19/2007, -0/+9Anyway > Anyways
    • xtc46, on 12/19/2007, -1/+625 things to put on your resume while leaching off unemployment.
  • rmetzger, on 12/19/2007, -5/+19896% of this is just common sense and applies to any document.
    • sully213, on 12/19/2007, -1/+51My thoughts exactly. Like #4, "Leave out your sexual preference".

      "I like to take it up the pooper, but only on weekends" will really help you get that job at the day care.
      • Etherium, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1I see your point, some people are turned off by the word "pooper". Not a BIG deal, but there's no reason to hedge your bets in the wrong direction.
      • aduzik, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1I couldn't believe that was on the list. When I'm applying for a job, I do my due diligence to find out what their nondiscrimination policy and domestic partner benefits are, but I would never be so crass as to say, "I'm gay and I wanna know if I can bring my husband to the holiday party."
    • njhardc0re, on 12/19/2007, -2/+1definitely...
    • crackedplastic, on 12/19/2007, -3/+10More like 100%.
    • VenTatsu, on 12/19/2007, -0/+4Common sense is all to uncommon.
    • worldsbestgamer, on 12/19/2007, -0/+4Digg needs to hire Captain Obvious to immediately bury crap like this.

      If all of us commenting agree that this will only be useful for someone that regularly participates in the Special Olympics, who is digging this?
    • sv650touring, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1what was the other 4%? Which one?
      • deskattire, on 12/19/2007, -0/+2Well -- "hobbies" is debatable. I've since taken off my music experience in my IT-focused resume, but it helped get my last IT job because my manager had always wished he learned how to play guitar, and thus admired me for it. Basically, your hobby works only in the hiring party thinks its cool, and that's too much of a risk.
    • bugsy, on 12/20/2007, -0/+2NO KIDDING! Why is this worth 1500+ diggs? I learned this in high school. Buried.
    • ronaldinho, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1I dugg it because it was funny if someone have to use this for advice
  • TherealObadiah, on 12/19/2007, -4/+197Leave off my criminal record? Are you sure?
    • SkippyDoorknob, on 12/19/2007, -1/+39Unless you're applying for that professional henchman position with the Joker.
      • phaseblue, on 12/19/2007, -1/+7"But I could never be a henchman. I am just a normal guy between the age of eighteen and thirty, a loner, and lacks ties to friends and family." "You, stranger, are the perfect candidate for costumed aggression."
        /venturebros
      • Wormfather, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1I dont know, even the Godfather asked for men without criminal records.
    • woohhaa, on 12/19/2007, -0/+10Yea mine is impressive. It shows I'm not scared to bend the rules a little to get the job done.
  • BurnTees, on 12/19/2007, -6/+39they all seem like common sense to me.
  • petrodollar, on 12/19/2007, -22/+6#26: Any mention of an MBA not earned at a reputable school.
    • chaosium, on 12/19/2007, -1/+5Apparently there are a lot of diploma mill graduates burying you.
    • worldsbestgamer, on 12/19/2007, -4/+1I didn't bother, but then again, I don't think having ever finished the local diploma mill would have gotten me any further than I am right now. Technical work doesn't require such things, and I am making more than my friends who have their diploma.
  • lnxfi, on 12/19/2007, -18/+71"Political Identity" - I actually threw away one guy's resume because of this. He had listed about 5 different Bush/Republican groups he was a part of. I don't need no crazies in my office.

    Although, the same would have happened if he had listed a bunch of Democratic groups. It's a red flag for a problem starter.
    • joelav22, on 12/19/2007, -11/+23Nice job, you just violated his civil rights and now your company can be sued. I hope you have a much better reason than that for not hiring him, I've been through so many BS Human Resources trainings I could write a book on what you can be sued on, that my friend makes the top 10 on the list behind sex, age, gender, religion ,and sexual preference
      • BoneheadFarker, on 12/19/2007, -1/+23That's the reason why you don't include things like that on a resume. An HR manager can pull any number of reasons out of their ass why you don't qualify for a job, and you'd never know the difference. It's a little harder to fire you though...
      • JKonkle, on 12/19/2007, -1/+5Actually, from the little bit I know about HR there are no civil rights violated by doing this. Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 does not provide protection for political affiliations. I would never recommend discriminating on this basis though, because you are making a decision on a candidate's outside life that has nothing to do with how they would perform at the job. This is where you would get into legal trouble.

        Public sector employees, on the other hand, have several different laws that dictate what political activities they can be involved in, thanks to the Hatch Act.
      • lnxfi, on 12/19/2007, -5/+0Ugh, I had a long thought out responce, but it got wrecked by the audio CAPTCHA. Anyway, in short - Violate this, moron. It's people like you who supply me with much useless resume paper to make paper airplanes out of.
        • joelav22, on 12/19/2007, -0/+2my resume is hardly a paper airplane :) but generally I agree with you. However it IS discrimination and you can leverage a civil suit against anything you want - it does not need to be federally protected. I work in a VERY liberal state and our company has been brought to court over similar issues (thus our super stringent documentation processes on new hires). No one has won a case, however legal fees are expensive and shareholders frown on it also.
        • jwietelmann, on 12/19/2007, -0/+2Granted the job seeker would likely win the suit, but the potential employer could make a somewhat reasonable case that the resume was thrown out not because the job seeker was a member of several political groups but because he/she inappropriately included those affiliations on the resume.
        • kajoob, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1"Anyway, in short - Violate this, moron."

          You're hiring people? Seriously? I weep for your company.
      • satanatnmtedu, on 12/19/2007, -2/+7Political affiliation is not a protected right.
        • CptAmerica, on 12/19/2007, -3/+1Actually, it is. When an HR is interview people for a job it is ILLEGAL to discriminate against age, sex, gender. So, yeah he can be sued.
        • xtc46, on 12/20/2007, -0/+6@CptAmerica

          what do age, sex and gender have to do with political affiliation?
          • CptAmerica, on 12/20/2007, -2/+1I am simply stating that discrimination of all types while interviewing somebody for a job is illegal.
      • RyanElston, on 12/19/2007, -0/+5Dude, the uber political people ALWAYS start up trouble. It's just not good for office productivity.
        • frostieDude, on 12/20/2007, -1/+1Wrong. Several people i work with are active in politics and are good workers.
          • RyanElston, on 12/20/2007, -0/+2Fair enough. However I have been dragged into many political debates that needlessly take up office time. Not to mention some very unnecessary ostracism.
      • WarnerK, on 12/19/2007, -1/+9There has been no civil rights violation here. He didn't throw away his resume because he was a Republican; he threw it away because of the way he presents himself. Like he said, it didn't matter whether he listed Republican or Democratic groups; it's all about how he is very vocal with his political views, which can cause conflict in the workplace.
      • aduzik, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1He threw away the resume of a troublemaker. How he knew the guy is a troublemaker is beside the point. Like he said, it would have been just as reasonable to throw away a resume listing dozens of democratic group memberships, too.
    • Klinky, on 12/19/2007, -2/+10Yes, you can say "We just don't think you would be the right fit at this time for the position." Leave it short. If you expand on that sentence and add "...because you're a homosexual" or "...because you're a right wing nut" - you are opening yourself up to be sued.
      • joelav22, on 12/19/2007, -1/+1BUT - the candidate has the right to view all factors that lead to your decision and you must provide it in writing. You also must prove the person you hired was more qualified and the steps you used to make that decision. I doubt a lot of people encounter this, but most of the positions I hire for carry hefty 6 figure plus salaries and I have had to provide this proof on 3 separate occasions.
        • Lythium, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1I'm gonna go out on a limb here and postulate that most people applying for a 6-figure salary know what not to include in a resume =P
        • burrgrinder, on 12/19/2007, -0/+0And you're telling me you aren't able to ***** those "proofs"?
        • joelav22, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1you can BS them, but you just better make sure you document the ***** out of it. And you'd be very surprised at the resumes I see. Sometimes the smarter people are the less common sense they have.
        • xtc46, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1depends on the state. Where i live you can be turned down for a job, or fired from a job and have to give no reason at all. At the same time I can quit without reason. You only get in trouble if you make it known that you fired them for an inappropriate reason.
      • satanatnmtedu, on 12/19/2007, -2/+2How do you figure that? Sexual orientation is not a federally protected right nor is political affiliation. One can be sued for anything. It doesn't mean that the case is legit.
  • BrotherLuigi, on 12/19/2007, -17/+130Buried as lame. Who is digging this up?
    • rmetzger, on 12/19/2007, -2/+35the jobless for now painfully obvious reasons.
    • capiCrimm, on 12/19/2007, -2/+41mainly me. I only have a 100 more puppet accounts left, though, and then I'm off to digg up some Ron Paul articles.
    • sv650touring, on 12/19/2007, -0/+4Man, normally I hate those types of comments, but you are so right. When I saw the post was a "25 things" article, I was hoping it was cracked.com. Then when I saw it wasn't, I hoped it was at least useful. Then I read through the article and wondered what total retards would benefit from it. Then I wondered how many ignorant ***** are going to get jobs over candidates with more common sense because they read this article, and the HR person won't have that nice big red flag to eliminate the idiot.
    • dball48, on 12/19/2007, -0/+9EvilPizza22, rph2gorph2go, tsanand129tsanand129, Matt90Matt90, polishfishpolishfish, alexman12alexman12, jjhappypantsjjhappypants, jasonyatesjasonyates, splashsplash, magicmarcmagicmarc, xqb4dpxxqb4dpx, FrEaK40FrEaK40
  • ps3udov3ctor, on 12/19/2007, -3/+22Is there anything on this list that someone with common sense wouldn't already know?
    If you need to consult this list you won't be getting a decent job no matter what you put on your resume.
  • Tweekster, on 12/19/2007, -1/+15I think they meant 23 items, because the 2 on lies shouldnt even make the list.
    If someone has to point out that you shouldnt lie, well no one should point that out to those idiots.
    • pilot3033, on 12/19/2007, -2/+222:
      #6 and #3 are the same.
    • pnightingale, on 12/20/2007, -0/+2none of those items should be list worthy. But I guess the 0 things not to put on a resume is kind of a waste of a webpage.
  • I_AM_The_Rob, on 12/19/2007, -1/+91This is a job for captain obvious.
  • crimsonnblue, on 12/19/2007, -3/+12Is any of this not common sense?
    • Jack9, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1Physical characteristics are actually a good idea, as long as you look good. Being tattoo and piercing free vesus being tatted up will often get you an interview depending on the position. Hobbies goes along with this. This list is not a good list for anything other than middle tier factory work. For a high end job, you take every advantage you can and being able to fit in is one. Resumes are about getting the interview, not the job.
      • AppleJacks364, on 12/19/2007, -0/+0I would never put physical anything on a resume. I have a bunch of tattoos and one arm is almost completely sleeved. I know in some areas this is acceptable now, but in others no one would even consider you because they think you are a "punk kid." For the jobs I am interviewing for I will be wearing a suit, after I got hired I stayed in long sleeve shirts for a few days to "test the waters." To make a long story short if you don't know how an employer will react to something don't put it on a resume. Plain and *****' simple
  • martynda, on 12/19/2007, -0/+21I'll sum it up: don't be an idiot. McDonalds doesn't need resumes anyway...right?
  • jamangold, on 12/19/2007, -3/+85Who the hell puts their sexual preference on a resume?
    • lnxfi, on 12/19/2007, -8/+2Lets just say that someone points out that he is into dudes, should he then also mention if he prefers pitching or catching?
    • Tweekster, on 12/19/2007, -1/+5Because it is a cheap attempt to show they discriminated against you.
    • drmangrum, on 12/19/2007, -1/+9Probably people looking to scare an employer into hiring you. If they know your gay and they don't hire you, then it MUST have been because your gay. Instant law suit or job.
    • cplusplus, on 12/19/2007, -0/+6It might get in by mistake. eg my boyfriend and I (insert photo here) who I met at my last stupid job like knitting when not robbing banks.
    • KbuPlatinum, on 12/19/2007, -0/+3Hobbies: Doing other guys
    • emalen, on 12/19/2007, -1/+5hookers, porn stars, mail-order brides, escorts, priests . . . oh wait did you say who does? or who should?
  • codyman, on 12/19/2007, -1/+5damnit, no sarcasm? But I always like to put all 25 of these things into my resume as they just always see how awesome I am and ask "when can you start?"
  • DangerCollie, on 12/19/2007, -1/+13I'm always amazed how many people commit public suicide during interviews. Here's a simple rule: Never volunteer a negative. One of the most common and, IMHO ignorant interview questions someone will ask your best and worst quality. For my worst quality I'll usually say something like, "My 4 iron. I can hit a 3 and 5, but I'll shank a 4 iron every time."
    • petrodollar, on 12/19/2007, -0/+33Sorry, you were an otherwise ideal candidate but your obviously ***** line about your golf swing was a deciding factor in our decision to hire another applicant.
    • FiveDollarYoBet, on 12/19/2007, -0/+2Got asked that one during my last interview and I pulled out some BS line about taking ownership of a project and not resting until it's completed. Ask a ***** question and you get a ***** answer!
    • bobartig, on 12/19/2007, -1/+7I can't think of any major weaknesses I have, so I might say that I'm a bit arrogant!
    • tmjoen, on 12/19/2007, -1/+5David: Under 'Strengths'... you've just put accounts.
      Keith: Yeah.
      David: That's your job though, that's just, that's just-
      Keith: [nods] Mmm.
      David: No, Keith. What.. I was sort of looking for your skills within your job. So is there anything else you could have put there?
      Keith: [shrugs]
      David: Nope. Okay.. Umm... Under 'Weaknesses' you've put eczema?
    • phubaba, on 12/19/2007, -0/+2If you are asked about a weakness just turn it into something you learned from, or something that is perceived as a positive unless it is taken to the extreme. Sometimes I take control of the group too much and tend to micromanage to the umptenth degree. Cite example, preferably from an experience in your resume, then talk about how you've begun to resolve it once you rose above your weakness.
      the weakness question is a test of whether or not you can take criticism and more importantly whether you are able to criticize yourself, find your weaknesses, and fix it.
      this is not a bs question. being able to improve on yourself and your work is probably one of the most important traits a person can have.
    • buckrogers1965, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1My greatest weakness is that I work so much. I love coming into the office and working like 12 or 14 hours a day. (not really)
  • HypocriteDigg, on 12/19/2007, -2/+7Wow. If anyone is putting this stuff on a resume, then they don't deserve to get the job. Everything here is obvious.
  • jgambleii, on 12/19/2007, -1/+64Interestingly enough, pictures of your wang not listed.
    • Jargonaut06, on 12/19/2007, -1/+4not obvious enough for this list perhaps?
    • doctorfungi, on 12/20/2007, -0/+6Oh *****, I already mailed my Resume!
  • kclifford17, on 12/19/2007, -3/+15Oh *****... I better delete my prejudices from my resume
  • iambagels, on 12/19/2007, -6/+4no *****
  • Dibou, on 12/19/2007, -1/+4I would rather have an article on the differences between our resumes and other countries' resumes. For instance some countries actually ask for a hand written cover letter so they can have people analyze your handwriting to see if you are worth hiring.
    • CrackyJSquirrel, on 12/19/2007, -0/+9Damn, my chicken scratch would be the death of me then. I am a programmer and cannot do analog very well.
    • petrodollar, on 12/19/2007, -2/+1By "some countries," you mean ones with per capita GDP less than $10?
    • drmangrum, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1Unless your job requires a lot of hand written documents, what does that matter? Just about everything is done on computer. The only writing is a signature.
      • Lythium, on 12/19/2007, -0/+2Handwriting analysis supposedly sheds light on the personality of the writer. It's a bunch of malarkey, imo, but many people believe it.
    • pnightingale, on 12/20/2007, -0/+2of course they're going to analyze your hand writing. How else will they know if you are going to steal office supplies?
    • buckrogers1965, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1Hand writing analysis? That is hilarious, I would laugh my ass off and call anyone that believed in bs like that idiots to their face. Who wants to work for idiots like that. Too funny.
  • hppypnts, on 12/19/2007, -26/+425 Things You Should Never Include on a Resume
    Applying for a new job comes with its fair share of rejections, setbacks, frustrations and perhaps even lonely periods of unemployment. If you've been turned down for position after position, you could be getting desperate and may want to shake things up a bit so that your résumé will stand out from the piles of others stacked quietly in HR. Before you decide to get too creative, there are some rules to résumé etiquette that you should follow. Read below for the 25 things that you should never include on a professional résumé.
    1. What You Hated About Your Last Job: If you turn your résumé into a ranting session, you're starting off on the wrong foot. During an interview, the hiring manager will most likely ask you why you left your last job, but you can use this challenge to remain positive. Explain that you wanted to work with a company that promoted more mobility within the business or that you felt your strengths weren't adequately utilized at your last job.
    2. What You Hated About Your Last Boss or Co-Workers: Even if your last boss really acted like a tyrant or no one in the office could stand that jerk next to the water cooler, complaining about the past only makes you look like the bad guy. Showing that you are able to work with all kinds of people will take you far in the business world.
    3. Irrelevant Job Experience: Job experience that is unrelated to the position you're applying for only clutters your resume and irritates the HR department. Did your lawn-mowing gig or high-school job as a checker at the grocery store really prepare you to be a PR professional? There are other ways to prove your people skills, so stick with the jobs and internships that are most relevant.
    4. Sexual Preference: Your sexual preference has no relevance on how well you can perform the job. Leave it out when writing up your résumé, because according to Emurse.com, "discrimination still exists in the hiring process, and [including this information] may lead to a premature and completely unwarranted disposal of your resume."
    5. Religion: Discussing religion in the workplace is another big no-no for Americans. Including your religion, or lack thereof, on a résumé is too controversial and is irrelevant to the job. So unless you're applying for a job at a religious institution, exclude this information.
    6. Every Job You've Had Since You Were 16: Once you've been a member of the workforce for a few years, it's safe to say that you can exclude those babysitting jobs you had when you were in high school. Employers look for relevant, recent work experience that will have prepared you for the current position for which you are applying.
    7. Age: Like it or not, some hiring managers will discriminate against employees based on their age. Technically, this kind of discrimination is illegal, but if you seem too young or too old to do the job, you may not even get an interview — despite what the rest of the résumé says
    8. Political Identity: Again, asking your future employer to acknowledge your political leanings is just too controversial. Unless you're attempting to become the next big pundit, it's no one's business if you're überconservative or irrevocably liberal.
    9. Lies About Job Experience: If you haven't worked in a managerial position for more than five years, you'll be outed with a simple phone call to your last boss and immediately disqualified from the rest of the hiring process. If you feel uncomfortable about your lack of skill, focus on the positive and show how other great qualities would make you a great manager or supervisor.
    10. Lies About Educational Background: If you lie about where you went to high school, the hiring manager might not find out, but if you fake the fact that you have higher degrees than you really do, someone is bound to discover your lie. Background checks are standard at most offices, and even if you get the job, your lack of skill will quickly be revealed.
    11. Bad Grammar: Bad grammar absolutely does not belong on a résumé. It shows that you are lazy, uneducated and don't care enough about the job to pay attention to detail. Even if you think you have great grammar skills, it's best to let someone else look over your résumé as a precaution.
    12. Hobbies: While some employers like to see that interviewees are active in the community or have won nonprofessional awards, no one really wants to know that you love knitting with your grandmother or were named the beer-chugging contest winner in college. When in doubt, leave it out.
    13. Social Security Number: As a safety precaution, do not include your Social Security number on your résumé. Chances are, your résumé could be floating around a busy HR office where anyone could pick it up.
    14. Photograph: JobFairy.com reports that hiring departments "legally cannot consider your picture in determining if you are to be interviewed, or hired," and that "many companies won't even consider résumés that are submitted with a picture to ensure that they are in compliance with [the Equal Opportunity Employer]" legislation. Keep in mind, however, that if you are applying for jobs overseas, photographs may be the norm on résumés.
    15. Physical Characteristics: Just as you should never submit a photograph along with your résumé, it's also best to leave out your physical characteristics, such as your height, weight and hair color, in writing. Describing yourself as a "hot blonde" is asking for trouble; conversely, overweight job seekers are sometimes unfairly discriminated against.
    16. Health Issues: Money-Zine.com reports that "an employer has no legal right to know your health status. The only health-related questions that an employer can ask are job related." If you and your doctor feel that your health is adequate enough to complete your job duties as expected, then your health issues are no one else's business.
    17. Information About Your Family Members: Whether or not you're married or have children does not belong on a résumé. Some supervisors automatically assume that a parent of small children will be unavailable to work odd hours, but you should be the one to make that call, not them.
    18. Boring Words: Instead of writing that you are a "dedicated, interesting person," jazz up your vocabulary to stand apart from the crowd. In general, action words are best. Also, use a thesaurus if you're stuck trying to find unique synonyms.
    19. Negative Thoughts, Words or Ideas: Even if you have a hard time believing in your strengths, your résumé is not the place to show weakness. If you know that you're not a born leader, consider writing that you work well in groups or that you take direction well. Putting a positive spin on yourself will help the hiring manager see you that way also.
    20. Blanket Statements: Some companies require applicants to send in their salary requests when they apply for a job; however, asking for a six-figure salary "and not a penny less" marks you as being stubborn and difficult work with. You never know what kinds of negotiations can arise in the person-to-person interview, so keep your options open and avoid making blanket statements.
    21. Criminal Record: While it's generally best to be honest, including any mention of a criminal record, however insignificant it seems to you, is not advisable for a résumé. If the HR department has a policy on criminal histories, they'll ask during the interview.
    22. Prejudices: If you harbor any prejudices against certain groups or individuals, it's best to keep that to yourself (or consider counseling). Advertising the fact that you don't work well with others is not going to get you the job. Office managers want employees who can blend into the workplace and relate to their co-workers in a civilized manner.
    23. A Messy Format: In this day and age of advanced but easy-to-use formatting systems and computer programs, there is no excuse for a résumé with messy indents, unequal spacing and other formatting errors. If you're hopelessly inept at working with computers, ask a friend for help.
    24. Low GPAs: Unless you're fresh out of college and looking for your first big job, don't bother including your GPA. A good track record in your employment history will go much further in impressing the hiring department than a GPA that shows you got A's and B's in psychology eight years ago. This rule holds true especially if you had a low GPA in school.
    25. Sarcasm: Sarcasm does not often translate well through business writing, and even if the hiring manager does get it, he or she probably won't appreciate it. Résumés and the interview process are not appropriate outlets to release your offbeat irony, since you don't know how it will be received and it's just plain inappropriate.
    When creating a résumé, it's generally best to leave out overly personal information like your marital status, physical characteristics, Social Security number and any other attributes that could be controversial. Ask someone you trust to edit your résumé for grammar mistakes, typographical errors and formatting discrepancies to make sure the hiring department can focus on your skills and experience — not your carelessness.
    • unreg, on 12/19/2007, -1/+8#26 - Needlessly reposting information found in the linked article.
    • nigh7dagger, on 12/19/2007, -0/+10The site wasn't down, *****.
  • Bhav01, on 12/19/2007, -0/+82Another one is silly email addresses. bangbro87@gmail.com isn't going to land you any jobs.
    • kingmanic, on 12/19/2007, -0/+10I use an alumnus forwarding service form my university. So the resume lists Firstname.Lastname@MyUniverisyt.ca. It then goes to l337h4xx0r@gmail.com
      • petrodollar, on 12/19/2007, -11/+0Unless you went to McGill, Toronto, or UBC, your degree is worthless.
        • Sumudu, on 12/19/2007, -0/+3Buried because you made it personal.

          I'd love to see you try to back this up with some actual hiring statistics.
      • intekra, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1That works until you reply to them... Unless you have an actual mailbox at the university.
    • petrodollar, on 12/19/2007, -2/+0You've obviously never worked in i-banking.
    • devolved, on 12/19/2007, -0/+12Yeah -- my fave was "kegking@(whatever)". Also anybody with @aol.com. When applying for an IT job, people, AOL doesn't inspire confidence.
    • kimpinaintez, on 12/19/2007, -0/+2i've had a resume come in with an e-mail address of "lewdboi@xxx.com" he was filed away quickly
    • lnxfi, on 12/19/2007, -2/+2lustylips69@xxxxxxx.com

      I wanted to call her in for an interview just out of plain curiousity.
    • digitallysick, on 12/19/2007, -2/+3I can't respect anyone with an AOL email address, this tells me you run windows, and don't know how to use a computer. Also it tells me you have no sense of value for your money
    • Lucky7, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1Thanks a lot for posting my email on digg.
    • shamanlife, on 12/20/2007, -0/+2sausagebingopants@galaxyvideo.com
  • Gryffydd, on 12/19/2007, -2/+39122. Prejudices
    WTF? How would you ever work that into a resume to begin with?

    Staff Accountant -- Company Inc. 2002-Present
    * Handled daily accounting procedures
    * Hated *****
    * Processed material receipts
    .....
    • darny, on 12/19/2007, -6/+79HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Digg me down, but i thought you should know how big of a laugh i got out of your comment
    • unreg, on 12/19/2007, -2/+61You sir have won the post of the day
    • petrodollar, on 12/19/2007, -15/+2"Processed receipts" is needlessly redundant for an accountant.
      • Lythium, on 12/19/2007, -0/+5In our company, processing receipts (along with other data entry bitchwork) is the bookkeeper's job, not the accountant's. So no, it's not at all "needlessly redundant" (oh gods, I hope you used that as a deliberate illustration).
      • DrivebyGroper, on 12/20/2007, -0/+4Isn't "needlessly redundant" redundant?
    • jah434s, on 12/19/2007, -2/+26Holy crap. Thank you for that. I really needed a good laugh.
    • ray023, on 12/19/2007, -1/+25CAN'T. STOP. LAUGHING. AT. POST.
    • bgolds99, on 12/19/2007, -4/+7POST OF THE DAY!!!
    • xero9, on 12/19/2007, -1/+25I wish I could digg you more than once
    • diggdowner, on 12/19/2007, -3/+10I just dugg the article solely because of this comment
    • austinnowlin, on 12/19/2007, -2/+6Jesus ***** christ that was funny!!!!!!!!!!!
    • Televari, on 12/19/2007, -1/+5Gryffydd, that was the funniest thing I've read all day. Thanks.
    • hodoublesy, on 12/19/2007, -2/+3hahah i laughed so hard
    • sd2001, on 12/19/2007, -1/+12Best Digg Comment Ever. Still Laughing.
    • UnderWaterman, on 12/19/2007, -8/+3haha

      ..i could see it on george bush's resume
    • Chirp08, on 12/19/2007, -0/+16that is the only comment on digg that will ever pull off a +200 digg count and use the n-word
    • intekra, on 12/20/2007, -3/+2*****
    • Rainemaker, on 12/20/2007, -0/+11Tears. Tears in my eyes. Real tears. Well done.
    • doctorfungi, on 12/20/2007, -1/+4Excuse me whilst I pick my balls up from the floor. I laughed them off.
    • Zampa, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1i'm commenting just so I can remember this hilarious observation - i'm still laughing... just great.
    • MrFluffZ, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1OH
      MY
      GOD
      LMAO XD
    • cadancer, on 12/20/2007, -0/+0I loled.
    • SuperCow1127, on 12/20/2007, -0/+5A link to this comment would hit the front page.
    • agaudet, on 12/20/2007, -0/+2
      best comment ever
  • sodade, on 12/19/2007, -2/+36"Lies About Job Experience: If you haven't worked in a managerial position for more than five years, you'll be outed with a simple phone call to your last boss and immediately disqualified from the rest of the hiring process."

    Hehe - the value of having worked during the tech boom&crash is that I can claim to have worked for all kinds of innovative startups that went belly up and it will be very difficult for a prospective employer to check it.
    damn - I just gave out a huge trade secret to a bunch of digg slackers.
    • Tweekster, on 12/19/2007, -0/+0For one job, the manager has flat out lied about me. well I dont use her anymore, I just use a person that no longer works there that I worked closely with.
    • tablatronix, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1I beleive thats what references are for.
    • xman00, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1I can't imagine any employer calling your current place of employment and giving them the heads up that you're looking for better work.
  • therealkdog, on 12/19/2007, -0/+70Excuse me Mr Wayne Brady, it says here on your resume that "I had to choke a bitch" Could you please expand on that for me thanks.
  • mablco, on 12/19/2007, -3/+29another stupid list on digg sharing common sense.. whats next, 10 things you should know about wiping your ass?
  • Woosterguy, on 12/19/2007, -4/+6Buried for being common sense.
  • Jaitls, on 12/19/2007, -2/+4buried
    • pnightingale, on 12/20/2007, -0/+2why does everyone have to comment that they buried?
  • Frecklefoot, on 12/19/2007, -1/+11I agree with all the comments that the list was common sense. It was okay, but some items were identical. For example, 3 (Irrelevant Job Experience) and 6 (Every Job You've Had Since You Were 16) are essentially the same. And several bullets could be collapsed into one. For example, 1 (What You Hated About Your Last Job) and 2 (What You Hated About Your Last Boss or Co-Workers) and then 4 (Sexual Preference), 5 (Religion), 7 (Age), 8 (Political Identity) and 16 (Health Issues). I felt like the author just separated them to make the list longer. And most of these things are obvious--of course I'm not going to include my criminal record (unless I'm applying for a job as a hit man). I was hoping for some "secret" tips that would really punch up my resume, but these suggestions are rather pedestrian. Okay if you're new to the workforce, otherwise you probably know all these already.
    • Gryffydd, on 12/19/2007, -8/+2Complaining that #3 and #6 are essentially the same is like complaining about the color of your waiter's poo after he's pulled down his pants and crapped directly on your plate.
    • BoneheadFarker, on 12/19/2007, -1/+3Congratulations! You've just discovered how to blog!
    • NonLeftistDiggr, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1Man did you format it like that?... or did you go back and edit it with little time left and the comment system screwed you? That's what happened to my comment list
  • removesstains, on 12/19/2007, -16/+1915. Physical Characteristics.

    I think this should become a requirement. This would help Americans over weight problem. If your fat and don't get the job you'll loss weight. Its the honorable thing for companies to do.

    You know i'm right but go ahead and bury my comment anyway. :P
    • DagMX, on 12/19/2007, -2/+2What about the countless jobs where you need to be smart, not fit?
      So you'd rather a dumb, slim man get the job than someone incredibly smart just because they're obese?

      • Jargonaut06, on 12/19/2007, -2/+3Are those the only two candidates? tough choice.
      • ronaldinho, on 12/20/2007, -0/+1Don't we have a third candidate? Wasn't that hot blonde a candidate as well?
    • VenTatsu, on 12/19/2007, -1/+19Yes, except that I'm fat, don't like skinny people, and take part in hiring decisions. You better start eating if you want a job.
      • Tweekster, on 12/20/2007, -1/+0you will probably have a heart attack in the next 6 months anyways so i wouldnt worry
    • IllBeBack, on 12/19/2007, -2/+1You really should let go of your hatred of fat people. They never did anything to you.
      • ravage86, on 12/19/2007, -0/+6Yes, they did. They sit next to me on planes and busses, cutting the available space I have in half. They take up the entire width of the hallway and walk extremely slowly, delaying my adventures. They get heart diseases, and then don't pay the hospital, leaving me with the bill.
    • flatpick, on 12/19/2007, -1/+1What requirement would help you overcome your piss-poor English skills? Oh, wait, employers already have that.
    • AmICoolNow, on 12/19/2007, -1/+2I disagree. Every office needs a funny fat guy.
    • NonLeftistDiggr, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1Make all the comments on society you want, this is unfortunately very true for the most part. I've had friends that moved up the chain rather quickly, and they would screen out ugly chicks. I could not believe it when he told me that, many people with these decisions are pretty FKed up!.... and yes I did make mental note of that as a negative character attribute of my friend.
  • 28dayslater, on 12/19/2007, -1/+11Wow, to think, all these years unemployed, and this could have all been avoided by simply removing how prejudiced I am towards members of a certain race. Who knew???
  • m0rn1n6s74r, on 12/19/2007, -6/+4BURRIED!! If you don't have the common sense to be already doing the stuff that the post suggests you don't deserve a job.
    • AriaStar, on 12/19/2007, -0/+3Clearly you didn't follow the part about having someone overlook what you wrote. "Burried" your comment.
    • NonLeftistDiggr, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1Most of these are blatantly obvious, but for people new to the work force who haven't realized and/or listened to how much help you should seek getting your resume(s) reviewed, some of this may be suprising.
  • h4k0r, on 12/19/2007, -5/+4Captain Obvious strikes again. This is stuff that my 12 year old cousin would already know
  • nesibus, on 12/19/2007, -6/+4"25 things a typical McDonald's employee will put on their resume."
  • republicker, on 12/19/2007, -5/+3#25. Do not tell them you will do your best to act like your working.
  • chrismgtis, on 12/19/2007, -0/+3Just like most people, I'm thinking "Who actually puts these on their resume?". I've put "irrelevant" job experience on job applications before, but that was when I was a lot younger and applying for a grocery store position. You obviously don't put that on your resume.

    The article was pretty useless. If anyone does these things, an article isn't going to wake them up. Trust me. Stupid people can't be told to stop being stupid. They don't get it.
  • CrackyJSquirrel, on 12/19/2007, -4/+21Next digger to submit a common sense top # list will be water boarded.
  • RajAtWork, on 12/19/2007, -1/+3damn it, mental note: remove "refused to be managed" from mine
  • MattS, on 12/19/2007, -0/+3basic. but i supposed there are those out there who need to have the basics reiterated for them. if you are one of those people, please read the article in its entirety and have a TPS on my desk in the AM.
  • Ninnux, on 12/19/2007, -3/+3@deadbaby :: Ask and you shall receive. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impossible_is_Nothing ...
  • mikehill33, on 12/19/2007, -1/+1what about listing your MaySpace or YouTube addy? nothing like showing a prospective employer the Jaeger chug video or that you have a "friend" named Tom.
    • Tweekster, on 12/19/2007, -0/+0That is why you will see a mass exodus from unprofessional facebook groups right around graduation time.
  • pnmoore, on 12/19/2007, -4/+1Mostly common sense, but many people in today's world have none, so a very useful article.
  • SublimeRuin, on 12/19/2007, -5/+325 Pieces of common sense......
  • sovereign3, on 12/19/2007, -1/+7Funny thing is, I don't include any of that in my resume. Yet, I still don't get any callbacks :(
    • lnxfi, on 12/19/2007, -2/+1Here's a few tips - this is what makes me eliminate people (in order) before I take their qualifications into consideration.

      1. Paper - clean, folded evenly, high quality.
      2. Formatting - must be easy to read and logical. The same types of fonts and style must be consistent,
      3. Typos - anything greater than 0 is not acceptable.
      4. Overuse of the thesaurus - just don' do it.
      5. Person's name - use your full name (with middle initial). Don't use your nickname.

      After that (and probably a couple other things), then I actually read about their skills.
      (IGNORE MY TYPOS HERE, THIS IS DIGG, NOT A RESUME) ... CRAP, CAPSLOCK
      • Etherium, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1Um... You're actually allowed to fix them here on Digg too (some people even proofread what they type in EMAILS!)
      • glomph, on 12/19/2007, -0/+1I would not want to work for you.
        You value typing correctness higher than actual suitability for the job? The way people fold paper means more to you than past experiences?
  • cuoops, on 12/19/2007, -9/+1026. I like turtles.
  • tpizz, on 12/19/2007, -1/+1.
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