What is Digg?379 Comments
- deadbaby, on 12/19/2007, -4/+409I would be interested in meeting the person who, before reading this article, thought these were good resume ideas.
- Gryffydd, on 12/19/2007, -2/+39122. Prejudices
WTF? How would you ever work that into a resume to begin with?
Staff Accountant -- Company Inc. 2002-Present
* Handled daily accounting procedures
* Hated *****
* Processed material receipts
..... - Bridea, on 12/19/2007, -2/+276Title is inaccurate. Should read: "25 Things Included On Resumes by People Who Wouldn't Get The Job Anyways"
- oreonblade, on 12/19/2007, -8/+232Irrelevant Experience? What do you mean?! Of course martial arts training is relevant! Oh excuse me, I know about a billion Asians that would beg to differ.
- TherealObadiah, on 12/19/2007, -4/+197Leave off my criminal record? Are you sure?
- rmetzger, on 12/19/2007, -5/+19896% of this is just common sense and applies to any document.
- implied, on 12/19/2007, -7/+17926. I will kill your family if you don't hire me.
- BrotherLuigi, on 12/19/2007, -17/+130Buried as lame. Who is digging this up?
- jspegele, on 12/19/2007, -1/+95Who wouldn't? The first paragraph on my resume is "I'm a 23 year old, straight, white, catholic, 6'0", 165lb, extremely racist, male who likes to chug beers, goof off at work and party with friends. I don't like jobs and I don't like working with people. I will hunt you down and beat the crap out of you if I don't get this job...", well you get the point. So you don't think this a good intro for my resume?
- I_AM_The_Rob, on 12/19/2007, -1/+91This is a job for captain obvious.
- jamangold, on 12/19/2007, -3/+85Who the hell puts their sexual preference on a resume?
- Bhav01, on 12/19/2007, -0/+82Another one is silly email addresses. bangbro87@gmail.com isn't going to land you any jobs.
- darny, on 12/19/2007, -6/+79HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Digg me down, but i thought you should know how big of a laugh i got out of your comment - therealkdog, on 12/19/2007, -0/+70Excuse me Mr Wayne Brady, it says here on your resume that "I had to choke a bitch" Could you please expand on that for me thanks.
- jgambleii, on 12/19/2007, -1/+64Interestingly enough, pictures of your wang not listed.
- inactive, on 12/19/2007, -2/+61You sir have won the post of the day
- lnxfi, on 12/19/2007, -18/+71"Political Identity" - I actually threw away one guy's resume because of this. He had listed about 5 different Bush/Republican groups he was a part of. I don't need no crazies in my office.
Although, the same would have happened if he had listed a bunch of Democratic groups. It's a red flag for a problem starter. - sully213, on 12/19/2007, -1/+51My thoughts exactly. Like #4, "Leave out your sexual preference".
"I like to take it up the pooper, but only on weekends" will really help you get that job at the day care. - richmessenger, on 12/19/2007, -6/+48......or Dwight Schrute.
- capiCrimm, on 12/19/2007, -2/+41mainly me. I only have a 100 more puppet accounts left, though, and then I'm off to digg up some Ron Paul articles.
- SkippyDoorknob, on 12/19/2007, -1/+39Unless you're applying for that professional henchman position with the Joker.
- thecosmicpope, on 12/19/2007, -2/+37I hope you write resumes better than you write Digg posts.
- xero69, on 12/19/2007, -5/+40Any fast food drive through window should suffice.
- inactive, on 12/19/2007, -5/+39Being Asian is, by itself, often sufficient to get the job.
- sodade, on 12/19/2007, -2/+36"Lies About Job Experience: If you haven't worked in a managerial position for more than five years, you'll be outed with a simple phone call to your last boss and immediately disqualified from the rest of the hiring process."
Hehe - the value of having worked during the tech boom&crash is that I can claim to have worked for all kinds of innovative startups that went belly up and it will be very difficult for a prospective employer to check it.
damn - I just gave out a huge trade secret to a bunch of digg slackers. - inactive, on 12/19/2007, -0/+33Sorry, you were an otherwise ideal candidate but your obviously ***** line about your golf swing was a deciding factor in our decision to hire another applicant.
- jordan314, on 12/19/2007, -0/+331. duh 2. duh 3. duh 4. duh 5. duh 6. duh 7. duh 8. duh 9. duh 10. duh 11. duh 12. duh 13. duh 14. duh 15. duh 16. duh 17. duh 18. duh 19. duh 20. duh 21. duh 22. duh 23. duh 24. duh 25. duh
- rmetzger, on 12/19/2007, -2/+35the jobless for now painfully obvious reasons.
- BurnTees, on 12/19/2007, -6/+39they all seem like common sense to me.
- xero69, on 12/19/2007, -3/+35Martial arts training is only relevant if you can send in Ninjas during the job interview
- staplez, on 12/19/2007, -1/+30Jobs only like guys with skills. Bo staff skills, nun chuck skills, you know skills.
- mablco, on 12/19/2007, -3/+29another stupid list on digg sharing common sense.. whats next, 10 things you should know about wiping your ass?
- capiCrimm, on 12/19/2007, -1/+26after a while, though, they start to call your bluff. I recommend starting off by sending them their wives fingers. It's a proven route to success.
- ray023, on 12/19/2007, -1/+25CAN'T. STOP. LAUGHING. AT. POST.
- jah434s, on 12/19/2007, -2/+26Holy crap. Thank you for that. I really needed a good laugh.
- xero9, on 12/19/2007, -1/+25I wish I could digg you more than once
- BoneheadFarker, on 12/19/2007, -1/+23That's the reason why you don't include things like that on a resume. An HR manager can pull any number of reasons out of their ass why you don't qualify for a job, and you'd never know the difference. It's a little harder to fire you though...
- martynda, on 12/19/2007, -0/+21I'll sum it up: don't be an idiot. McDonalds doesn't need resumes anyway...right?
- orlyfactor, on 12/19/2007, -3/+24Or, 25 completely obvious things I thought I'd write down to waste space on the Internets.
- ravage86, on 12/19/2007, -2/+22Don't say doing you're wife, don't say doing you're wife
Doing your... son? - jazzboyrules, on 12/19/2007, -1/+21Avoid using sharp objects.
- ps3udov3ctor, on 12/19/2007, -3/+22Is there anything on this list that someone with common sense wouldn't already know?
If you need to consult this list you won't be getting a decent job no matter what you put on your resume. - Neoanarchist, on 12/19/2007, -9/+28Yea reading through these its like common sense. Bad grammar, yea i ***** make a big effort to include that ***** in my resume. Age? Like they can't do simple ***** math to figure it out? Prejudices....no ***** sherlock....family history....yet again sherlock.
Buried as lame for lack of a Buried for wasting my time with common sense....*****.. - VenTatsu, on 12/19/2007, -1/+19Yes, except that I'm fat, don't like skinny people, and take part in hiring decisions. You better start eating if you want a job.
- darny, on 12/19/2007, -1/+18front to back, always.
- WhiskeyLemur, on 06/30/2009, -2/+19Resumes count as formal writing. Web forums do not. I'm a stickler for grammar, but to expect every post to read like a polished philosophical treatise is absurd.
- voyvf, on 12/19/2007, -1/+18Or, "25 Things to Include on Your Resume to Ensure a Lifetime of McJobs"
- brstilson, on 12/19/2007, -0/+17Apparently the author of this article thinks this is a typical resume:
Bill Davidson
Father of three, lover of vaginas, hater of mexicans
I am also a Christian, praise Jesus!
1234 Anywhere Ln
Somewhere, TX 12345
Objective:
To find a job where I make ass-loads of money for not doing very much work
Work Experience:
Minger Construction Company
July, 2004 through present
I want to leave because my boss, Bill, is an ass. He wouldn't let me use his tape measure. Sometimes I pour glue into his coffee.
Lower-East Side Temp Agency
March, 2004 through June, 2004
Got fired because of a DUI (see section below). Boss lady was a bitch.
Daily News
January 2003 through Decebner 2003
Took them almost a whole year to figure out I was just tossing all the papers over the bridge and going home. Easy money.
ABC Daycare
May 2001 through December 2002
Did pretty good until they caught me smoking in front of the kids. Damn gestapo. This is AMERICA Goddammit!
Criminal Record:
June 2004 - Served 7 days in the county jail for DUI
January 2003 - Kids taken away from me by Child protective services for alleged "Reckless endangerment." It was really because I know the truth about 9/11
Education:
Harvard University - Master's Degree in Engineering, GPA 4.00 -
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