Noah Smith agreed with the critique, preferring OkCupid.
i have few guy friends in nyc who are single who i was catching up with, & they no longer use any of the dating apps.
remarkable change cuz that was def not the case even few years ago.
the decay of internet marketplaces is often extremely swift. curious what replaces this gap if anything.
Many users welcome single men in NYC abandoning dating apps because they have become impersonal worthless and depressing while a few recall successful matches or prefer real-life connections anyway.
Dating apps seem like shit. I liked Okcupid tho
i have few guy friends in nyc who are single who i was catching up with, & they no longer use any of the dating apps.
remarkable change cuz that was def not the case even few years ago.
the decay of internet marketplaces is often extremely swift. curious what replaces this gap if anything.
@Noahpinion lol it’s remarkable how bad they actually are.
although i suppose they just revealed some inner truths that many aren’t really comfortable saying out loud.
Dating apps seem like shit. I liked Okcupid tho
@MurrayHillGuy1 when they hit absolute rock bottom, i will tell them to follow you.
@signulll A few possible reasons: - they’ve given up on dating in nyc - they’re more seuccful offline than on the apps - their wives found out
Can you say which one is it?
I wrote a ton about my dating experiences and life as a white women in my 20s trying to find a husband in an American city. If you are interested I could send you it. Think you may find my experiences interesting. It could give you a different perspective. White women have really had to be the shock absorbers for a lot of the craziness that’s happening.
@signulll also specifically dating apps are now a symbol of thirst more than finding a partner. People don’t want to be on those apps to appear that way, they’d rather find someone themselves.
@signulll Do they follow Murray hill guy?
@signulll bad news: without the apps, you have to go outside to meet people
@ThatNYCMan why not all three??
@signulll agreed just unfortunately need to possess the rare unique ability of actually being able to speak to women
They are mostly time sucks. I had 300 plus matches on hinge the last time i was on. Spanned about a month or two. I would say 10% of those matches were actually interested in meeting. And those were matches, not swipes.
There is something deeply wrong with American women at the moment (as a group - clearly some percentage of them are great)
@signulll For my NYC bros: IRL (fitness, art, or music) meetups, parties, friends of friends for meaningful connections.
Apps are really just for hookups or “market pulse” these days.
In SG/HK it’s similar with IRL meetups, house + junk boat parties.
For kids it’s still bars/clubs.
@signulll it's easy to look at bad incentives and negative selection effects and think "OMG, this is the awful truth about human nature"...
@signulll run clubs
@Noahpinion OKC went down hill after Match bought them
Imagine having 300 attempted conversions or conversations. Note my criteria too is just dont be fat or have children or be openly leftist. So Im fairly liberal on initial swipes. Maybe 1/4 are actually hot
And further - I said open to meeting up. I dont pay for dates. When I mention this and that I want to do an activity like a walk, the beach, top golf or coffee (Something cheap), 75% are no longer interested
I think this is a psychologist projection. American men are deeply unwell from my perspective. I really have dating my all in 2025. I can across 21 men between a dating app and going out to bars and out of that experience I didn’t meet anyone who brought anything to the table. 4-5 of those men had active meth addictions. One seemed closeted gay and told me he was just out of relationship and didn’t want another even tho in my profile I said I was looking for a relationship. One guys friend me he is a pathological liar which is something I noticed about him - he was 32 and didn’t have a career or a college degree and seemed to have spent his 20s not working blowing thru an inheritance and going to abolish ice rallies. One guy was a huge traveler and didn’t seem to be attracted to me. I had one guy in his 40s who was single childless and never been married tell me I was lucky I was white, then go on about how he had never been married but spent a long time in a relationship with a woman from chile even going as far to tell me about their relationship and how great their sex was. He literally disproved his comment that it’s advantageous to be a white American woman by disclosing he spent his prime years involved with a foreigner.
The sad part is - I’ve met several men in 2025 who were in their 40s and 50s who got married to or dated South American women, only to get divorce and not have kids with them, then they are single lonely and trying to holler at younger white American women.
Many women are put in dangerous situations and many of our white American men have rejected us in search of Latinas and Asian women. These are not normal times and if they were I would probably be married by now. I truly have given it my all and the entire time I have been cheated on, used and exploited by men. After a while you just kinda wanna give up.
My hunch is that white men are super in demand. For example, white men are the most swiped on race on dating apps and Asian women are. So white men are being pursued by every race and have a ton of options for sex. Dating apps are basically a sexual marketplace for men. Why settle down when they can go on there and try and have casual sex.
Smart phones ruined dating. Many men have unrealistic expectations of female bodies from porn and social media being fed them images all day. When I was 26 I dated a guy who was morbidly obese and horrible hygiene teeth etc. he had a porn addiction and thought he was owed a model and always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough
You say that white women are unwell. But I will counter it by saying I have met some amazing foreign men who have overcome insane obstacles and come from extreme poverty in other countries who have blown most of the white American men I know out of the water academically and in how they treat women. It really goes both ways. American white men have been systemically discriminated against, but many are lazy and entitled. They are coasting along on their parents and former countrymen successes while reaping the benefits of being in demand by women of every race.
Why I feel 0 sympathy for any 33 plus year old woman who isnt married and is complaining.
They have every disposable tool at their finger tips yet cant choose. Professional athletes, doctors, entrepreneurs, finance and tech bros are all on hinge and tinder and they complain that "the men are trash"
@signulll I’m no longer in the game, but the one reason I would recommend my single guy friends not to use apps is: once you get denied by a girl online, can you really approach her in person? And that’s a terrible thing to take away from one’s self.
@BradThundercocl @signulll 10% of your 300 matches is 30 who want to meet up. How is that a time suck? Seems like a good system.
Noah Smith agreed with the critique, preferring OkCupid.
i have few guy friends in nyc who are single who i was catching up with, & they no longer use any of the dating apps.
remarkable change cuz that was def not the case even few years ago.
the decay of internet marketplaces is often extremely swift. curious what replaces this gap if anything.