A mock Arsenal training bust-up over who scores the sixth goal

Framed as a “breaking” alert, the post jokes that Max Dowman and Noni Madueke nearly came to blows over who gets to score Arsenal’s sixth goal from the bench. It gives Arteta the punchline: “BOTH OF YOU CALM DOWN — THERE’LL BE ENOUGH WHEN WE SCORE 12!” The closing gag tells Arsenal fans to stay calm because the team is now “fighting over STATISTICS.”