TUMBLING DOWN THAT HILL
A Singer With The Most Cursed Cover Of 'Running Up That Hill,' And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
This week’s characters include a singer’s truly cursed rendition of “Running Up That Hill,” a coffee chain launching crypto “coffee experiences,” an unwitting NIMBY, a very tired movie director and a guy with quite the “scientific” take on mermaids.
Sunday
Rita Ora
The character: Rita Ora, singer, Vecna nightmare-vision version of a Kate Bush impersonator
The plot: At her Rock in Rio set last weekend, Rita Ora performed a cover of Kate Bush’s iconic 1985 song “Running Up That Hill” — which was recently rocketed back onto the charts by its inclusion in season 4 of the Netflix show “Stranger Things” — and, folks, it decidedly did not slap.
A particular clip of Ora’s performance went viral, in which she gratuitously vocalizes the lyrics of the song with an unrecognizable melody (reminiscent of a certain someone’s 2018 rendition of the National Anthem and caps it all off by getting down onto her stomach, kicking her feet up and pursuing her lips into a kiss for the audience.
Rita Ora cantando o clássico "Running Up That Hill" de Kate Bush #RockInRio #RitaOraNoMultishow pic.twitter.com/pOYMDYPoxK
— BCharts (@bchartsnet) September 11, 2022
It’s really quite painful.
The repercussion: Look, no one’s saying Rita Ora can’t sing; there’s no question she’s got a great set of pipes on her. But there was simply no need to do this to Kate Bush. So people had a lot of fun with this one.
Rita Ora was running away from those notes not running up that hill
— ✨ (@heyjaeee) September 14, 2022
my therapist: running up that hill rita ora can't hurt you
— george • they/he • 🏴☠️⚾️💧🔞 (@polite_menace_) September 14, 2022
running up that hill rita ora: pic.twitter.com/bC1OJHfdl0
the kiss at the end… https://t.co/ouAvSnqZZC pic.twitter.com/ubmR1nQRFD
— penis von pussy (@teabaggingarena) September 15, 2022
I know for a fact this would end Vecna right on the spot https://t.co/xby07UTMR0
— nævis (@naevis_caIling) September 15, 2022
Me going back in time to prevent Running Up That Hill from being used in Stranger Things so Rita Ora never covers it https://t.co/CGH9rBtuGI pic.twitter.com/QJ5R9meNW9
— paddington enjoyer (@BullwinkleBoi) September 14, 2022
Kate Bush listening to Rita Ora's version of Running Up That Hill pic.twitter.com/ipFmdSSqrm
— Neel Bhatt (@_Neelsreeldeel) September 15, 2022
she's coming for her throne, i'm afraid https://t.co/SrxRUGOhhf pic.twitter.com/0DK0zO4Uni
— kenors⁷ 🌱 (@bitch_khe) September 15, 2022
My favorite thing about the awful Rita Ora take on Running Up That Hill is all the people in the comments saying Kate Bush must be turning in her grave thinking she's dead when in fact SHE'S VERY MUCH ALIVE https://t.co/SEZel4cicc
— Gonçalo Trindade (@gonch145) September 14, 2022
Molly Bradley
Monday
Starbucks Odyssey: NFT Coffee Experiences
The character: Starbucks, coffee chain, multinational corporation, crypto sheep
The plot: With everyone and their grandma getting involved in crypto, it comes as little surprise that Starbucks has recently jumped on the trend (though considerably later than everyone else). On Monday, the coffee giant announced the launch of Starbucks Odyssey, a new program that allows members to earn and buy NFTs “that will unlock access to new, immersive coffee experiences.”
Introducing Starbucks Odyssey, a new experience that will offer the ability to earn & buy digital collectibles (NFTs) that will unlock access to new coffee experiences. Join the waitlist to be among the first to explore Odyssey. https://t.co/Kze11sab1D
— Starbucks News (@StarbucksNews) September 12, 2022
My favorite kinds of experiences are coffee experiences.
For a company that claims to care deeply about its environmental impact, the decision to pursue such energy-intensive technology is a puzzling one. Even after reading the press release, it’s still not entirely clear why their rewards program needs to involve Web3 tech — but what is clear is that Starbucks anticipated criticism and/or mockery, because they turned off Twitter replies for the tweet.
The repercussion: They were correct to anticipate criticism and/or mockery.
If your solution to “this is wildly unpopular and people are going to give damaging replies to the announcement” is to block replies then it might be time to consider why you would pick up something as toxic as N//F/Ts in the first place. https://t.co/wI6fJEELMQ
— keirFox (@keirFox) September 14, 2022
Doesn’t this clash with your company’s whole climate change outlook and the implementation of paper straws and such? Or are you unaware of how much electricity the creation of NFTs consume, as well their various marketplaces? https://t.co/ZO8zm8V6su pic.twitter.com/jcooG1qNvk
— Sophia Narwitz (@SophiaNarwitz) September 14, 2022
I love seeing major brands make NFT and web3 announcements these days. It’s a good indicator of how much of a disaster their product teams are. You missed the hype cycle to grift your customers, but still feel obligated to ship what you blew time on. Impressive stuff. https://t.co/Df5Kk8kKjh
— Zach Holman (@holman) September 13, 2022
So they’re union busting AND doing NFTs! Awesome. Makes sense!🤑🤮 https://t.co/JlgOPYtGEJ
— Stef Sanjati 🔮🎮 (@stefsanjati) September 14, 2022
How about a fair contract for the @SBWorkersUnited baristas at over 200 #Starbucks stores across the country instead?? The best “new coffee experience” would be getting served a pumpkin spice latte from a unionized worker ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 #UnionsForAll https://t.co/085N3Lz7VV
— SEIU (@SEIU) September 13, 2022
It's actually funny how they instantly disabled replies cause you knew they were gonna get hate comments https://t.co/ASWe7FBene
— Monika 🇮🇪 (@PanDDRPride) September 13, 2022
Imagine being a corporation and being like "ok so we hate unions and our employees by extension. How can we squeeze even more money out of our gullible customers?
— Mx. Luca Renée Shoal, Dyke Mom Fox 🏳️⚧️ θ∆ (@lucashoal) September 13, 2022
I know! Jpgs! GENIUS!"
And then Marketing gets another 10k bonus while the poor baristas continue to suffer. https://t.co/fOnxlfBPC0
Imagine rolling up to a pyramid scheme months after it collapsed and thinking you wouldn’t just get dunked on 😂 https://t.co/inmtAE02wm
— Terra Field (@RainofTerra) September 13, 2022
EVERYONE HATES THIS AND EVERYONE HATES YOU https://t.co/hFeo6IAt9m
— OH NO IT'S BEAT (@BEAT_SKELTON) September 13, 2022
big surprise that your dogshit union-busting management is behind the times on other issues too https://t.co/kTp5rxXsFC
— Max Kennerly (@MaxKennerly) September 13, 2022
The fact that they disabled replies means they're already well aware of how garbage this is.
— 𝖒𝖆𝖉𝖘 𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖌𝖎𝖑 𝖕𝖔𝖋𝖋 (@mvpgamedev) September 13, 2022
Why treat your employees right when you could start a terrible crypto scheme instead? 🤪 https://t.co/m6R902pERN
Turn on the replies you cowards https://t.co/zKIY5Zumfp
— ZoranTheBear (@ZoranTheBear) September 13, 2022
You know, I thought I had seen peak NFT stupidity but this is almost beautiful in how perfectly terrible it is.
— Jesse Cox (@JesseCox) September 13, 2022
No one wants NFTs, stop trying to convince people they should.
And to the executive who got swindled into this by a crypto bro, you a clown. https://t.co/4qbEud8YxS
noooo don’t unionize haha we can’t pay you a livable wage because we had to light that money on fire haha lol https://t.co/X70TaNhwXy
— cory (@coryrj) September 13, 2022
Congrats to Web3, you just invented this https://t.co/ww12teMDDY pic.twitter.com/Dzz8z1hXOZ
— Aaron (the Give Smart guy) (@BobbyBigWheel) September 12, 2022
Darcy Jimenez
Kevin Drum
The character: Kevin Drum, blogger, former RadioShack employee, vocal NIMBY
The plot: Kevin Drum, a blogger whose work has appeared in Mother Jones and other places, inserted himself into a conversation about housing and population in American cities brought out the urban planning twitter court jesters.
“Is NYC obligated to accommodate any level of population growth? Why?” Drum asked in response to a tweet about housing costs and supply problems.
Is NYC obligated to accommodate any level of population growth? Why?
— Kevin Drum (@kdrum) September 12, 2022
Drum wanted to know why a city like New York should keep building housing if the population isn’t increasing at the same pace — and questioned if the residents wanted it too. Well actually, overall, the population is rising at around the same rate and when you consider high-income metros, like NYC, housing rates do fall behind.
looks to me like the population increase is similar actually (309 m to 329 m between 2010 and 2020, so a 6% increase). But I'm talking about high-income metros like NYC where population and jobs are outgrowing housing, hence price spikes: https://t.co/1ikRBOZo3W
— Ben Adler (@badler) September 12, 2022
The repercussion: It looks like Drum, stubborn as he was, tweeted in good faith and wasn’t trying to create a ruckus. Let’s give him that. But he did get pilloried for his takes.
Abolish Ellis Island -Mother Jones https://t.co/woJZmVDGDE
— Paul E Williams (@PEWilliams_) September 13, 2022
Is New Amsterdam obligated to accommodate any level of population growth? Regardless of what its 5,000 residents think? https://t.co/Nh9b9cmpo8 pic.twitter.com/g8CtF4SCzZ
— Travis R. Eby (@travis_robert) September 13, 2022
Pretty obviously yes? Freedom of movement is an important part of a good life--you shouldn't have to beg Kevin and his ilk for permission to move https://t.co/URoYPzh4Jr
— Dan Miller (@meelar) September 12, 2022
accommodating population growth is like, an absolutely critical responsibility of a city https://t.co/nyj6ROu4vR
— GONELIKEHELLMACHINE (@golikehellmachi) September 12, 2022
what happens when a high-demand city says “no” to growth?
— sam (@sam_d_1995) September 12, 2022
San Francisco is a good example: massively skyrocketing rents, middle class gets priced out, continued suburban sprawl and horrible commutes.
it’s simply not feasible. and NIMBY homeowners like Kevin must be rejected https://t.co/rvBykG6wGm
Adwait Patil
Wednesday
Baz Lurhmann
The character: Baz Luhrmann, writer, director, Elvis fan, tired Australian
The plot: After “Elvis” was available for home rental, Baz Luhrmann gave an interview in which he revealed there might be a four hour cut of the movie. But he’s just too tired to work on it. We don’t blame him, doing things is hard, especially redoing them after you already did them.
Baz Luhrmann: I’m Too ‘Tired’ to Release the Four-Hour ‘Elvis’ Cut on HBO Max https://t.co/GsgzNACRrD pic.twitter.com/WACsd6s6z9
— IndieWire (@IndieWire) September 14, 2022
The repercussion: Thankfully, this is one of the lightest and funniest reactions to a Main Character we’ve ever seen, because people seem to be in on the joke. In a playful way, fans of “Elvis,” Elvis and Baz were disappointed to learn that they could get more of that movie, so they’re egging him on to do so. In a tongue-in-cheek way, I think. I hope.
*baz luhrmann released the four hour version of elvis*
— comfort austin 💭 (@austinthinker) September 14, 2022
me immediately: pic.twitter.com/DLKJwiZbkn
"baz luhrmann: i'm too 'tired' to release the four-hour elvis cut" bro??? there's a starbucks across the street? get an apple crisp oatmilk macchiato??
— major knight (@capsicles) September 14, 2022
me breaking into Baz’s house to give him this motivational speech so he can finish the 4-hour cut of Elvis he’s saying he can’t finish because he’s too tired pic.twitter.com/xPUPvRjUxE
— Marcelo Pico (@MarceloJPico) September 14, 2022
TOO TIRED!!?🤨🥴sir if u don’t take a cat nap n release the film! @bazluhrmann https://t.co/poFzs5J9NR
— 💕EBONY💕 (@FavElvisStan7) September 15, 2022
maybe the real 4 hour elvis cut was the friends we made along the way
— lee 🎬 (@epfiIms) September 14, 2022
A couple people are blaming me for this… they’re correct! I did this! https://t.co/l8oebiUZ8H
— Nick Miller (@NickMillerMusic) September 14, 2022
it's funny he's tired because we won't be sleeping until he releases the 4 hour elvis https://t.co/fcOzVGE5Vf
— Who? Weekly (@whoweekly) September 15, 2022
get your f*cking ass up and release the 4-hour cut of ELVIS. it seems like nobody wants to release the 4-hour cut of ELVIS these days. https://t.co/uy0nKgjFJj
— jessvis saw elvis x14 (@polksaladjessie) September 14, 2022
Breaking into Baz Luhrmann's house and running off with the 4 hour cut of Elvis pic.twitter.com/pGqYMqaVBL
— austin butler propagandist ✨️ (@weirdingwitch) September 14, 2022
Jared Russo
Matt Walsh
The character: Matt Walsh, transphobic provocateur, Disney adult, not the funny actor from “Veep
The plot: Matt Walsh, while taking a break from organizing an intimidation campaign against Boston Children’s Hospital for providing care to trans youth and being showered with praise from JK Rowling, decided to turn his attention to Disney’s live-action remake of “The Little Mermaid,” which stars Black actress Halle Bailey as Ariel, and criticized the casting decision.
"With ‘The Little Mermaid,’ can we just mention that, from a scientific perspective, it doesn't make a lot of sense to have someone with darker skin who lives deep in the ocean," Walsh said.
The repercussion: Walsh’s so-called “scientific” commentary on why mermaids couldn’t be Black was widely disseminated across the Twitterverse by Media Matters’ Jason Campbell and greeted with mockery and derision. Many netizens clowned on the 36-year-old for being so fixated over the choice to cast a Black actress as a mythical half-human sea creature.
If you can wake up and be this racist over a fictional character, the possibilities are endless for those of us who have to navigate the real world. https://t.co/dFn23Ev4VG
— NAACP (@NAACP) September 15, 2022
So a human being with a fish body is living at the bottom of the sea is totally plausible. But being black is just a bridge too far? https://t.co/AO3VidOXA1
— Marc Lamont Hill (@marclamonthill) September 15, 2022
"from a scientific perspective" https://t.co/aiqAf2gafa
— John Harwood (@JohnJHarwood) September 15, 2022
lol “from a scientific perspective”. I shldnt laugh because the racism isn’t funny. But the struggle to present their racism as scientific. Have you met any fish? They don’t look like people. With a few exceptions they’re not white. what a fucking clown. https://t.co/AcUquNHwrk
— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) September 15, 2022
“Scientific perspective” on half humans who live under the sea and have talking fish for friends! https://t.co/QcVPdf5eqP
— Ms. Sn@cks (@HenriettaSnacks) September 15, 2022
From a scientific perspective, I don’t believe crabs can actually sing in English with or without a Jamaican accent. And even if they could, the sound would be pretty muted under the sea. https://t.co/EefjTKFcqv
— Charles Gaba 🇺🇦 (@charles_gaba) September 15, 2022
If you wanna be even MORE scientific, mermaids can’t be from Europe because they live in THE FUCKING SEA. https://t.co/AMAelW05Gp
— Michael Harriot (@michaelharriot) September 15, 2022
Evangelical podcaster, Matt Walsh, is very upset about the idea of a Black mermaid.
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) September 15, 2022
I’ll keep him in my prayers. https://t.co/IxUs0s3TOl pic.twitter.com/tN8b2E6NOE
The last sentence is the funniest. Gee, Matt Walsh. Maybe, just maybe, The Little Mermaid wasn’t made for white dudes in their mid 30’s, you absolute clown. pic.twitter.com/DHvBUbvcaY
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 15, 2022
I never cease to be amazed with what my fellow grown American adults on the other side of the world decide to turn into a life or death controversy every week. https://t.co/z56uvjjpeP
— Oliver Jia (オリバー・ジア) (@OliverJia1014) September 15, 2022
Walsh took his Main Character designation in stride, by saying he enjoyed triggering the Left over his comments.
I said Ariel should be played by someone with translucent skin like a real deep sea fish and thousands of Leftists took me seriously and are calling me racist because of it. I’m actually being accused of harboring racial favoritism for translucent people. I love it. This is great
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) September 14, 2022
James Crugnale
———
Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a guy who thinks everyone misses high school as much as he does, a lawyer who doesn’t think anyone has pronouns and more.
Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].