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WEIRD VIBES

Twitter Status Report: What The F*ck Is Going On?

Molly Bradley
Molly Bradley
Twitter Status Report: What The F*ck Is Going On?
This is the first installment of what may be a running series of updates, or — if Twitter ceases to exist sooner than anticipated — not. We're all playing it by ear.
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Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of Elon Musk’s actions.

So much has happened since Musk officially became the owner of beloved shitposting forum social media platform Twitter. You can read about some of that here:

But what we’re here to discuss today is, well, today’s state of affairs.

Let’s set the scene with some commentary on the general vibes of Twitter right now:


The Vibes


Admittedly, even if you are reluctant to see Twitter fall into utter disrepair, things are very funny right now. That is, unless you work at Twitter — in which case, things are pretty dire.


Twitter Employees

Setting aside the total chaos of what it must be like trying to keep track of his inconsistent demands and ideas for the site, Musk announced this week that no Twitter employees can work from home anymore; they all have to come into the office — an arbitrary and frankly callous thing to do while we’re still experiencing a pandemic, and for a company that allowed remote work even before COVID-19. It’s left a lot of people scrambling to make it work.



And amid the layoffs, and the reversal of layoffs, and the decisions that are potentially designed to get people to quit their jobs rather than Twitter having to lay them off and pay severance, key staff members are leaving in droves — including Yoel Roth, (former) Head of Trust & Safety, who just two days ago hosted a conversation on Twitter Spaces with Musk, trying to reassure advertisers that the platform isn’t completely imploding. (Spoiler: it is.)



Twitter’s Public Statements

Article after article has come out this week reporting new and increasingly dire intel from Twitter HQ — that is, when any outlet can actually get a hold of anyone at Twitter.

The Verge published a piece about the risks Musk is taking in terms of Twitter’s security and its relationship with the Federal Trade Commission, which has already had to keep a sharp eye on the platform pre-Musk. At the end of the piece was this telling sentence:



Journalists have also reported some pretty outlandish quotes from Twitter’s all-hands meeting, and these are not satire or jokes:



Outside of Twitter

Other than Twitter users across the site screaming, crying and throwing up, publications and companies are tying themselves in knots trying to figure out how to manage the impact Twitter’s implosion will have on them. From NPR:



This is not even to touch on the trouble companies and public figures are having with impersonation on Twitter.


Impersonation

By allowing anyone with $8 to spare to buy a blue check mark, Musk has made it possible for people to create convincing Twitter handles pretending to be a company, a politician or any other prominent figure or entity.



The results are very, very funny for onlookers, if not for the entities these accounts have been impersonating, and they’ve led Musk to assert that accounts must now include the word “parody” in their display name, not just in their bio. The impersonations also prompted the short-lived return of the secondary “Official” checkmark on Thursday night, and ultimately caused Twitter to halt the ability to purchase a Twitter Blue subscription.



Saying Goodbye

In all the mess, a lot of people are anticipating either Twitter shuddering to a halt or, otherwise, people leaving en masse as the site becomes unusable. In light of that, people are saying goodbye, sharing their contact information on Mastodon, Instagram, Tumblr, email and all manner of other platforms that can’t replace what Twitter offered, but will have to do.




So! Are you feeling caught up? Really? You can take a quiz about it if you’re confident (with thanks to Buzzfeed’s Katie Notopoulos):



My score:



Too true. Logging off now. Have a weird weekend.

Comments

  1. smith john 1 year ago

    Thanks for sharing this content.

  2. Bill Owen 1 year ago

    "Trump is finished!"
    And now so is Twitter.
    Okay, sure.

    1. Abid Hameed Khan Meo... 1 year ago

      hahaha

  3. smtddr 1 year ago

    What a mess :(

  4. Matthew Young 1 year ago

    Jason Schreier is not a twitter empolyee.

    1. DukeofWulf 1 year ago

      I assumed they were just making the same observation Jason was, not that they actually thought he was talking about himself. I mean, they shared another tweet from him about Mario, seems like they know who he is.

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