There are too many excellent advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists addressed in recent days.

Wasn’t It Nice When My Male Colleague Gave Flowers To All The Women In My Office For Mother’s Day?

I was hoping you could give your opinion on a situation that recently arose at work. My colleague Bob can be seen as a little nitpicky or overbearing, but he is generally a nice person and we get along well. Last week, for Mother's Day, he brought in a whole bunch of roses and was giving them to all the women at work. I'm not sure if he only gave them to the mothers — he did give one to me, and made a nice comment about how even though I am not a mother, I am still a wonderful woman and he knows that should I ever choose to have kids I would be a great mother, but I'm not sure if he did that for the other childless women.

Personally, I thought this was a really nice gesture that Bob didn't have to do. However, some of my colleagues were saying that it was overbearing, inappropriate, and sexist. I feel as though because they think Bob is overbearing to begin with, they are seeing this gift in a negative way, when it really seems to be just a nice thought. What do you think?

[Inc.]

Alison Green rules that Bob’s gift was extremely sexist and patronizing. “There's an implication there that motherhood is a calling everyone should aspire to, and it's awfully thoughtless toward people who may be struggling with infertility, have recently miscarried, or have zero interest in having kids and don't appreciate society treating them as if childbearing should be their default, or who just don't want their boss treating them in a gendered way,” she writes. Read the rest of her answer.

Was I Wrong To Rescind A Child’s Invitation To My Daughter’s 4th Birthday Party Because His Parents Couldn’t Reciprocate?

We are celebrating my daughter’s fourth birthday in a week, and her whole class is invited. As a rule of thumb and attempt to be inclusive, we always invite the whole class. This is her first birthday after the pandemic so she’s been really excited about it. Anyway, one of her friends’ moms messaged me saying her son can make it. I told her that’s great and let her know we’re asking one parent to be there since it’s a big place and we’ve invited her whole class. She replied saying no problem, and proceeded to tell me that she’s celebrating her son’s birthday at the same place with only a few friends, and that she hopes my daughter isn’t disappointed when she hears the kids talking about it. She then said that we weren’t up for a “whole class party” emphasizing my words. Her response just didn’t sit well with me.

I asked her if she could extend the invite to my daughter as she will be disappointed and it will come across as unfair to her (seemed as if the party was shortly after hers), while I completely understand it is a small party. I also know the venue owner is super flexible on having an additional kid and there’s normally a range for parties. To which she replied that it is still not possible to include my daughter and has sent stickers for the rest of the class. While she recognized and appreciated my efforts to be inclusive, she maintained that her son’s party is only for a small number of kids and hoped I could understand that this is the best decision for her family at this time. I was disappointed but not surprised, and let her know that while I appreciate her gesture to send stickers, it is not good enough and I cannot defend this to my daughter. I let her know that perhaps it’s best if her son doesn’t come to the party as well, so it doesn’t come across as unfair to my daughter. I told her I hope she understood that this is the best decision for my family at this time.

I just got a response saying “Wow, ok.” Do you think I handled the situation in the right way? While I don’t expect my daughter to be invited to every single party because we had the means to do so, the way this mother responded to me was very entitled and not communicated very well. It had a very “sorry, not sorry” tone. I honestly felt attacked for being inclusive (by her emphasis on ‘whole class’). Would love to hear your thoughts, thanks for listening!

[Slate]

Doyin Richards points out that the boy’s mother might have been planning a small party for financial reasons. “You mentioned it would be difficult to defend this to your daughter, but I think it could be used as an opportunity to teach her that you can’t control what other families do, but you will do your part to be as inclusive as possible,” he writes. Read the rest of his answer.

How Can I Get My Parents To Stop Celebrating My Sister’s Accomplishments As Though They’re Equal To Mine?

My parents have always favored my younger sister. I did well in high school and was part of important clubs, whereas she skated by and only played one sport, but our parents hyped up her successes like they were on the same level as mine. I got accepted into an Ivy League school for pre-med despite being the first in our family to go to such a school, and they did celebrate it, but they made as big a deal out of my sister going to community college and living at home two years later. She graduated her two-year computer coding program the same year I finished my undergrad, and they threw us a joint party in their backyard.

Because our parents paid for our education, she graduated debt-free. I’m grateful that they paid for college, but I now have to work to pay for medical school. Since my sister got a job, she’s been making a huge deal out of giving our parents money. I can’t afford to while in medical school for the next several years. Our parents constantly praise my sister for the financial help, and I’m now not even getting cursory praise for my achievements. Once I’m a doctor, I’ll make much more money than my sister, but I’m not sure I even want to give anything to my parents. What can I do for now to make them understand that treating our achievements as equal is insulting to the extra work and success I’ve had, and save our relationship by the time I have money again?

[Slate]

Allison Price argues that the letter writer shouldn’t expect favoritism based on their achievements. “[W]hile I know you’re proud of your accomplishments, you’re suggesting that your parents’ affection and praise should be conditional based on what you (or society) value as ‘success,’” she writes. “So, with kindness, I do not think you deserve more praise than your sister because of what you have or will accomplish or earn.” Read the rest of her answer.

Will It Help My Romantic Prospects If I Tell Prospective Dates I’m Rich?

I am a woman with a decent job and a smallish inheritance. It's not enough money to pay someone else's rent, but if someone were to move in with me, I could support them. I bring this up because I've been having a hard time getting attention from people I'm actually attracted to, and I'm looking for ways to tilt the scales in my favor. Is there an appropriate way to announce that I could take care of a partner financially? Is this just a terrible idea? I'm a very blunt person by nature, but a lot of people respond badly to that. I don't want to look like a huge asshole!

[¡Hola Papi!]

John Paul Brammer encourages the letter writer to address her apparent belief that people won’t love her without a financial incentive. “It sounds like you’re looking to win a game (you speak of tilting scales) with a relationship being the prize,” he writes. “The reality is that people aren’t prizes to be won, and a relationship isn’t like Monopoly.” Read the rest of his answer.

Should I Ask My Former Best Friend To Take Down A Podcast Episode In Which She Made Me Out To Be A Bad Person?

My former best friend called me the other day and told me she needed to speak to me about something important. She hosts a popular podcast series and told me that her newest episode would be about our friendship and the reason we grew apart. She briefed me on what she said about me. (The show had already been recorded.) She said she wanted to give me a warning before it aired because she didn’t want me to be blindsided. I gave her my blessing.

I listened to the episode after it aired, and it was nothing like what she warned me it would be like. She made me out to be such a bad person. She didn’t mention my name, but it was so obviously about me. Should I tell her to take it down? Should I confront her?

[UExpress]

Harriette Cole urges the letter writer to initiate a conversation with the podcast host about their friendship. “Tell her that your recollection of what transpired between you is dramatically different from what she said about you,” she writes. “Challenge the stories that you do not agree with that she shared in her podcast.” Read the rest of her answer.

How Should I Address My Husband’s Expectation That Our Children And I Jump Up And Down And Cheer When He’s Excited About Something?

My husband gets very upset when our 4-year-old sons don't share his enthusiasm over something that excites him. He wants them (and me) to jump up and down or cheer when he's excited about something. The problem is, he tends to share his news when we're getting ready for bed or just plain tired. I feel guilty for not acquiescing, but at the same time, I don't want to fake it. Any suggestions for a compromise, please?

[UExpress]

Abigail Van Buren advises the letter writer to tell their husband that his timing is bad. “If he expects you and the children to be his cheering section, it would be helpful if he timed his announcements so they don't conflict with bedtime, when everyone's energy level is low,” she writes. Read the rest of her answer.