There are too many excellent advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists (and subreddits) addressed in recent days.

Can I Ask To Stop Working With My Colleague Because He Got A Dog From A Breeder Instead Of An Animal Rescue?

I have an issue that’s minor compared to some I’ve read, but it’s big to me. One of my teammates recently got a new dog. Normally this is great; however, he decided to buy the dog from a breeder, as he wanted one with a specific “look.” I frequently volunteer for a local animal rescue (which he knows). He’s allowed to spend his money how he wants, but this feels like a slap in the face to a core piece of my identity, and I don’t know if I can work with him after this. Would I be out of line to talk with my manager about this and potentially ask to be moved to another team?

[Ask A Manager]

Alison Green rules that it would indeed be out of line to ask to change teams. “You’re expected to find a way to work with people who will have different views from you on many issues, including some that may be core pieces of your identity — whether it’s working with someone who hunts, or opposes reproductive freedom, or all sorts of other things,” she writes. Read the rest of her answer.

Should I Ask My Son-In-Law To Stop Using Gestures When He Speaks?

My son-in-law is a very bright, well-spoken young man. But he gestures with his hands when he’s talking. This may be an accepted style in Italy, but I’d always been taught that using your hands to help make a point was a demonstration of lazy thinking, and that if an effort were made to choose the appropriate words, the point would be relayed more effectively. How can I suggest to him that he keep his hands quiet when he’s speaking without offending him?

[The Washington Post]

Carolyn Hax discourages the letter writer from talking to her son-in-law about his gesturing. “By your own description, it’s clear that even if your fears are warranted — an ‘if’ of ample proportions — this is about nothing more than his appearing less bright than he is in the eyes of people who share your dim view of southern European norms and/or demonstrative expression.” Read the rest of her answer.

Shouldn’t People Avoid Saying ‘Good Morning’ When It’s A Bad Morning?

After the tragedy in Uvalde, the chief of police began his statement with the greeting, "Good afternoon."

The next day, after an understandably sleepless night, I arrived at my job — at a school — filled with grief, only to be told "Good morning!" by five different colleagues.

All of these greetings seemed insensitive considering the circumstances. Are these good manners? Is this an appropriate greeting under the circumstances?

[UExpress]

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin ask the letter writer not to take commonplace greetings literally. “Of course your feelings are raw at such a time. So are everyone else's,” they write. “Please do not exacerbate the situation by vilifying people for delivering an automatic courtesy with no intention of ill will.” Read the rest of their answer.

Was I Wrong To Respond To My Coworker’s Snide Comment About My Tank Top By Asking Him To Put On Shoes?

My workplace doesn't have a dress code so everyone dresses very casually. Today I was wearing a top with thin straps with long pants and my shoulders were showing.

One of my coworkers "Brian" was giving me angry looks all day and when I finally asked him what's wrong, he told me that he thought better off me than to dress in "barely any clothes" to work.

At that moment, Brian was wearing pretty short shorts and was barefoot. He dressed like this the whole summer, the office is carpeted, he only puts on his slippers if he is going to the bathroom or the kitchen.

I told Brian that I will start covering up my shoulders when he starts wearing shoes to the office. If I have to watch his hairy toes at work, he can deal with the sight of my shoulders.

That of course didn't help, he put on his headphones and didn't even look in my direction the rest of the workday.

Now I'm wondering if I was wrong to say that. He is a coworker and I should thrive for good work relationships, but I felt insulted so kicked back at him. AITA?

[Reddit via Twitter]

The commenters on the r/AmItheAsshole subreddit by and large approve of the letter writer’s retort. “Going barefoot is way weirder and more unprofessional than bare shoulders,” one of them writes. Read the rest of their answers.

Am I Wrong To Feel Uncomfortable After My Grandniece Used All The Moist Towelettes In My Bathroom While Visiting?

My nephew’s daughter has been anxious to visit me. I live in a city where many like to vacation. She’s one month away from turning 21. I told my nephew that she’s very quiet and hasn’t wanted to engage with me. He assured me that once we are one-on-one, she’d be Very talkative. When she visited she was mostly quiet and in her own head a lot. Sometimes it made me uncomfortable. I brought this to her attention, letting her know she’d be safe with me if she wanted to share what was on her mind. Her quietness continued. On the morning of her last day, she came out of the bathroom and immediately was anxiously packing when we had hours before leaving for the airport. I thought nothing of this.

Later in the day, when I came home from taking her to the airport, I found that my full package of moist towelettes was 97% empty. She sneakily took them. I initially found this cute and had no issue with her taking them. But the following day her actions made me feel uncomfortable. If she asked me, I would, with pleasure, give her the entire package, and she should have known this. I was very generous to her during her visit. Her plan to sneakily take them leaves me uncomfortable. Your thoughts, please.

[Slate]

Jenée Desmond-Harris urges the letter writer to let the moist towelette incident go if they wish to nourish their relationship with their grandniece. “Maybe she had some kind of a spill or an accident,” she writes. “Or maybe she meant to grab two sheets and 25 came out. It happens!” Read the rest of her answer.

Will I Get Over My Heartbreak From My Ex-Husband Finding A New Girlfriend 12 Years After Our Divorce?

My ex-husband and I have four children and eight grandchildren. We have been together for 40 years, but we have been divorced for 12 years. We have never been apart from each other until recently. He started ghosting me and not answering my texts or calls. We have not lived together for a while but have always stayed connected.

I found him with another woman, and he said they were together. She is letting him drive her new truck, and she has some money with which they go to the casino almost every night.

I'm heartbroken by the way he dumped me for someone else and just couldn't tell me. He said he still wanted to talk to me because we have kids and grandkids together. I told him to delete my number and wished him a happy life. This has been going on for six weeks. Will it get easier? The other woman is going through a divorce.

[Creators]

Annie Lane advises the letter writer to accept that her relationship with her ex-husband is over. “It has been 12 years since your divorce, and I'm not really sure why you still are expecting your ex-husband not to find love,” she writes. “He deserves love as much as you do.” Read the rest of her answer.