'PROGRESS IN MOTION!'
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Amazon's announcement last month that it is looking to establish a second headquarters somewhere in America (or Canada) has sent the US's major metropolitan areas on a race to the bottom. New York City lit up its monuments and buildings in "Amazon Orange." Tucson, Arizona sent a 21-foot cactus to Amazon's existing headquarters in Seattle. (Amazon rejected it, which has got to hurt.) Birmingham, Alabama constructed enormous cardboard boxes and placed them around the city in a blithe tribute to wasteful packaging.

And countless cities made cheesy uncomfortable, poorly conceived and badly acted videos in a desperate attempt to convince Amazon to pick them. Here are a few of the worst efforts from America's cities. 

Pomona and Los Angeles, California banded together to make a deeply awkward video featuring several local officials, including one who demonstrates that he is unfamiliar with the concept of the high five at around 3:03: 

 

Danbury, Connecticut shot its mayor making an impassioned pitch to Amazon that features such highly original lines as "Only Danbury has what we call the Danbury difference" and "We not only talk the talk, but we walk the walk." Oh, and a large stack of Amazon boxes make an appearance at the end, as does Alexa. 

 

This video from Frisco, Texas features some very cheesy special effects and a large crowd of people thrusting their hands into the air and shouting, "Progress in motion!"

 

Washington, DC released a video in which its mayor, Muriel Bowser, pretends that she is just now learning about Amazon's desire to establish a second headquarters and has a conversation either with herself, with someone who never appears on camera or with — you guessed it — Alexa.

 

​Then there's the Little Rock Regional Chamber, which decided to buck the trend (or maybe engage in a little reverse psychology) by begging Amazon not to pick them. Somehow, their "video letter" to Amazon also ended up being pretty cringe-worthy: 

 

We are so ready for Amazon to just pick a city already, so that the rest of the country can just put this embarrassing episode behind us.

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