How To Dispose Of Everything

​From time to time, we find ourselves curious about a topic and do some digging (we're contractually obligated to use this word in every post). So here, for your edification, the nectar of our mind grapes.

Ever picked something up, opened up your garbage can and then paused? 

"Wait a minute," you murmur to yourself, "can I even throw this out?"

Chances are you just shrug and toss whatever that item is in the trash anyway, but what if you really wanted to do the right thing?

We had one of these moments last week when we came across a treasure trove of matchbooks in the office. Literally hundreds and hundreds of matchbooks.

So we got to thinking: How should we dispose of these? And what about all those other things that give us pause? So here is a grossly incomplete guide for getting rid of your questionable belongings.

*Laws and regulations vary greatly from state to state and even from town to town. Please check with local authorities. Please don't sue us.

Batteries

There are three basic types of batteries: everyday use, rechargeable, and specialty batteries. All of them can and should be recycled. Call 1-800-BATTERY or visit call2recycle.org to find a location near you.

Everyday use batteries are what you typically buy at any store. They run your remotes, RC toys, and sex toys. They're made of alkaline and lithium and in most states can be disposed of by simply tossing them in the trash. But just because you can throw something out, doesn't mean you should. Do us all a favor and recycle them.

Rechargeable batteries are a bit more sophisticated than everyday batteries. They're typically made of nickel metal hydride and lithium ion, which aren't considered toxic. However, some are still made of hazardous materials such as lead and nickel cadmium. The bottom line: you should recycle them.

Specialty batteries — the ones that run your watch, camera or hearing aid — are a pain in the ass to find, but a breeze to get rid of. Just toss them in the trash. Good luck finding a new one! (Again, you really should recycle)

Car batteries should never be thrown out. In fact, they're chock full of valuable materials that many garages and auto retailers are willing to pay for. Most will even buy your car battery back from you.

The bottom line: recycle your batteries.

Cooking Oil

Pouring cooking and frying oil down the drain is a great way to waste a perfectly good source of energy and clog up your city's sewer system. So don't do it.

First, allow it to cool and strain the oil through a coffee filter into a non-recyclable airtight container. If you want, you can even reuse it a few times. If not, proceed to step two.

Freeze the container and — you guessed it — toss it in the trash.

If you're really economically-conscious, you can turn it into biodiesel.

Matches

If for some reason you have acquired a large supply of unused matches and don't want to see how many you can strike at once or build a massive bonfire, simply soak them in cold water for a few minutes and chuck them in the trash.

Condoms

Congratulations, you are a sexually active adult! Sex is awesome! Sex is messy! Sex leaves sorta gross stuff to get rid of!

Do NOT recycle a condom. In any way. Like, not for a second sex act or with your commingled plastic recycling. Condoms should be wrapped in a tissue and thrown out with your normal trash.

Then you should cuddle. And make waffles. And be cool around their friends.

Dead Pets

We're sorry for your loss, but you need to take some immediate action. Hopefully before things start to really smell bad. For everything mentioned below, you're going to want to wear gloves.

If you own your property, you can simply wrap your pet in a plastic bag, place it in a box and bury it in a deep hole. Be sure to avoid power lines and water sources. Tell your kids they went to live on a nice farm upstate.

If you don't wish to bury your pet on your own, consult your vet. Chances are they can help with everything from necropsies to professional cremation and burial.

If you live in a city, things can get tricky. Be sure to consult your department of sanitation. New York City, for instance, has an online request form just for dealing with dead animals.

For more details, the ASPCA is a fantastic resource.

Medicine

You know those painkillers you still have leftover from that time you had knee surgery three years ago? The ones that make you nervous when your, uh, more adventurous-minded friends spend just a bit too much time in your bathroom? Yeah, you're going to want to get rid of those. Here's what the FDA wants you to do.

— Follow any specific instructions on the drug label. Don't flush medications unless the label specifically tells you to do so. Water treatment plants aren't designed to remove pharmaceuticals, so everything you flush ends up medicating our streams and rivers. Studies have shown that these medications are messing with fish. You can find a list of medications that should be flushed here.

— Call your local government's sanitation department to see if there is a take-back program for medication and controlled substances. If so, take advantage of it.

— If there are no disposal instructions on the label and you don't have access to a take-back program, remove the drugs from the packaging, mix them with a gross substance nobody would ever want to ingest (think kitty litter or coffee grounds), place the mixture in a sealed bag, and place with the normal trash.

Small Electronics

Electronics are expensive for a reason. They're filled with valuable resources and materials such as rare metals, plastics and glass which take time, energy and lots of money to manufacture. Just because your iPod is broken doesn't mean the silicon in it is useless. There's always someone willing to pay money for the raw materials.

Try selling your old phone or computer to a reseller like Gazelle. If they don't want it, or you are morally opposed to making money for some reason, check out the EPA's electronics recycling and donation guide here.

Think recycling doesn't make a difference? You're wrong. For every million phones that get recycled, 35,000 lbs of copper, 772 lbs of silver, 75 lbs of gold and 33 lbs of palladium can be recovered.

Gun Shells

First off, be extremely careful when handling ammunition. If you have live — that is unspent — ammunition that you'd like to get rid of, call your local authorities for guidance. No matter what, don't throw it in the trash.

Modern ammunition is made almost entirely of valuable and recyclable materials. Lead and brass can be scrapped. Plastic shotgun hulls can be reloaded. Unspent powder can be used for new rounds as well. Chances are your local range will happily take all of these.

If you'd like to possibly make some profit on these things yourself, this RangeReport article is a good place to start. 

Aerosol Cans

Congratulations, your spray paint mural looks awesome and you're no longer feeling woozy from the fumes. Now what do you do with those 20 bottles of spray paint?

The rule of thumb with aerosol cans is simple: if they're empty, they are safe to throw in the trash. If they're not empty, they can explode. If you'd like to dispose of a partially full or unused aerosol can, you must bring it to your local hazardous waste collection site. Contact your local department of sanitation if you don't know where that is.

Light Bulbs

Even though they're encased in glass, most light bulbs contain toxic elements like mercury, so they can't be recycled in the usual commingled bins you have at home. Either wrap them in paper to protect them before throwing them out in the regular trash or take them to your local hazardous waste collection site.

Oily Rags

Public trash cans always have a strange warning about disposing oily rags. Why? They're gross. But mainly, it's because they're also highly flammable. The best way to safely dispose of them is to seal them in a metal container filled with water and take them to your local hazardous waste disposal center. 

Large Appliances

Things like refrigerators, freezers, air conditioners, washers and dryers are filled with both valuable metals and dangerous materials like freon. Don't mess with this stuff. Contact your local sanitation department or hazardous waste collection site and arrange for them to take care of it.

TL; DR? Recycle all the things.