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School Bullying
americangoy.blogspot.com — This one is NOT political. This has happened to many of US. This needs to STOP. Here's HOW. Do this now for YOUR CHILD.
americangoy- 98 diggs
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- kahakauai, on 03/24/2008, -4/+21Short and simple solution...
1. Teach your kid how to fight.
2. Teach him to stand up for himself and not be run over.
3. Let him know that if someone is dis-respecting him or bullying him. He has every right to knock the ***** out of him.
4. Let him know that you have his back no matter what- archiesteel, on 03/24/2008, -2/+9I was bullied once as a kid. I didn't know how to fight (I was no more than 7 or 8 at the time) and so I bit into the bully's hand as hard as I could. I remember actually tasting a bit of blood.
Nobody bullied me after that, though I did carry the reputation of being a psycho for a couple of years... - eLye, on 03/24/2008, -0/+6Hear hear kahakauai! It's sick how weak and spineless (white) youth is being raised today, and they are being applauded for tattle-tailing cowardice.
- wideawakeready, on 03/25/2008, -0/+5Nobody will do anything for you if you don't do it yourself. Live free or die!
- commernie, on 03/25/2008, -0/+2Well said. While violence is not the answer to all problems, it's certainly a good solution for this particular one. In my mind, a bullied kid has every right to break a ***** brick over the bully's head if he's being attacked.
- meshman, on 03/25/2008, -0/+5Unfortuntately, that's a perfect recipe for expulsion. because:
"in America, when two kids "fight", even when one kid is totally innocent and only defends himself or even does not throw a punch because he is being pummeled, they BOTH ARE SUSPENDED."- mystcnurse, on 03/30/2008, -0/+1This is true. Which is why my son, who now has a brown belt in karate, is still afraid to fight back. When a very bad kid was picking on him over and over, I called the principal of his school and told him that if he did not take care of it, my son was going to beat the ***** out of this kid. The kid ended up getting sent to another school. Bottom line, probably it is a good idea to try non-violent approaches first, but at the same time, it is also a good idea to make sure your kid has what it takes, including your support, to stop the bullying if need be.
- itsgotyou, on 03/25/2008, -0/+1My little brother was bullied by 5th graders (Tommy was in the 1st grade) I told little Tommy to fight next time they hurt them. They did so he fought back, but this only angered them more and they beat little Tom to a pulp. He’s still alive but the beating has damaged his cerebrum, he doesn’t go out much anymore and only answers to the name Roberta.
- archiesteel, on 03/24/2008, -2/+9I was bullied once as a kid. I didn't know how to fight (I was no more than 7 or 8 at the time) and so I bit into the bully's hand as hard as I could. I remember actually tasting a bit of blood.
- WaltDismal, on 03/24/2008, -1/+10It's a complex matter. A kid needs to have or get confidence in himself, and learn to handle himself in fights. On the other hand, in California, where most public schools are merely holding pens for pre-prison-inmates, fighting back against gang members often gets one shanked, or even shot at outside school.
On top of this, despite what people say, videogame violence and media too condition some kids - not all - but some - to accept violence as a normal action or reaction in life.
I was bullied as a kid, and didn't know how to handle it. What would have been really useful would have been for a parent to have rehearsed me in common scenarios. How to react, what to do. Not general advice, specific advice; don't needlessly make enemies; be alert and don't walk into situations; learn how to take punches properly; be confident; hit back if you have to, to prevent serious injury, otherwise shrug it off with disdain, don't reward the bully for his actions. Another thing to know is, some bullies are themselves abused by a parent and they are replaying it on others. Secretly they want respect, but they're using the wrong way to get it. The real problem is their homelife. They mirror their own frustrations by picking on someone lower in status. So a kid may need to avoid being seen as a target by raising his status somehow with many of the kids. If you're seen as being cool (well-liked by others), you're less likely to be a target. So socialization image is a factor. - americangoy, on 03/24/2008, -1/+12"I was bullied as a kid"
Me too...- looselips, on 03/25/2008, -1/+6Seconded: It was great when I finally reached my limit against a bully, in part it was triggered from a tough week with an equally verbal-abusive father at home, but I am equally glad I did not end up going Columbine on the entire click-hole clan.
The joy I felt when the class-bad-ass had to explain his two-black eyes by hitting a pole, was one priceless event I will never forget evar!
Even the "team" ambush and the sucker-gut punches the next monday in school was a laughing incident.
I could not stop laughing when right before I asked him, How many times did you run into the pole, to cause, Two black eyes?"
I had no problem after that with anyone's harassing, but yet again I was labeled as a problem among the rest of us misfits.
I think when I finally have a child, I will teach them to walk around all emo, and pissed and bitching always about the world and all in general; possibly chanting evil sounding repeatatives, at least until after high school when they can silently laugh at the true bitch and their slim chance of a higher education.
Idiots always get their karma returned from their lack of intelligence.
It is always best to be a bigger man and stand up for what is right.
And in the worst cases, sue the parents, the schools, and the security; all of who, should have been aware of children who could have been helped.- americangoy, on 03/25/2008, -1/+4"And in the worst cases, sue the parents, the schools, and the security; all of who, should have been aware of children who could have been helped."
all of whom who should have been doing their damn jobs.
- americangoy, on 03/25/2008, -1/+4"And in the worst cases, sue the parents, the schools, and the security; all of who, should have been aware of children who could have been helped."
- looselips, on 03/25/2008, -1/+6Seconded: It was great when I finally reached my limit against a bully, in part it was triggered from a tough week with an equally verbal-abusive father at home, but I am equally glad I did not end up going Columbine on the entire click-hole clan.
- 2bsbc, on 03/24/2008, -0/+8Teach your kids to take their mind out of fear; instead, focus on the strength of their own character, whether it be physical or mental. There is always a way around or through an adversarial opponent.
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."- TrevaLVF, on 03/25/2008, -0/+4Your right. That's something I had to learn the hard way and only after being bullied and getting fed up with it.
- truthmatters, on 03/24/2008, -0/+10My daughter was bullied on Myspace. Someone made a fake profile of her and trashed her reputation. She had the profile deleted after suffering much emotional and social abuse. We never found out who created the profile. I think there should be a way to hold cyber bullies accountable. Also, children need to feel safe in school so they can concentrate and learn. Any bully should be expelled. There should be zero tolerance for this kind of abuse in our school systems.
- neocognitism, on 03/25/2008, -3/+10The family is doing what they should have done a couple years ago -- sued. They are going to win and in the meantime nobody is going to touch the kid for fear of getting added to the lawsuit. The school will start to put more energy into disciplining bullies as well. I generally do not support suing, especially schools, but in this case it is the best mechanism for relief in the short and long term.
Kudos for the Mom for not moving, except she should have sued sooner, because the last two years of the kid's life were unfairly brutal.
As a big guy throughout my life, I learned early on that I had to be careful around smaller people or I would end up hurting them. That's how adolescence is supposed to work; you learn to become responsible for many things in life, and that includes your size and ability to do damage. To instead be an ***** who turns into an intentional serial bully, in my personal view that is nigh unforgivable.- TrevaLVF, on 03/25/2008, -0/+3I'm not even 5' tall, but I took down my 6'4" ex (a bully) by grabbing his ankles and falling backward, which sent him sailing head-first in the opposite direction and slamming his head and back on the floor so hard, it shook the house. That was the last time he ever physically attacked me.
What a lot of tall people and people of average height of any frame structure and weight don't realize is that some of the toughest people they will ever meet are the ones they underestimate - the little gals and guys. We have to be tough. We're like magnets to bullies. Sooner, or later, every short person that has been out in the world (not sheltered) and confronted by big and mean predators realizes, there is no hero that comes to their rescue. They can't always just go to the "authority figure" to make the mean bullies leave them in peace. For most of us, we find ourselves in a disposition, at least, once in our lives where we have a cruel ultimatum to either be harmed, raped, or robbed, or to fight back no matter the outcome.
I'm not one to glorify violence. I really do love peace and I feel no pleasure in what I have had to do to defend myself. Somebody has to humble a big bully. If adults, cops, or big protectors are the only ones the bully fears, then the bully will never learn not to underestimate the short person, the skinny kid, the "geek," or "nerd," or the "retard" if their intended victims beat the hell out of them and, maybe, top it off with a well-deserved wedgie, especially before a mocking audience that was previously betting on the bully as the victor.
Just remember, it's the little Asian people that invented and developed Martial Arts.
- TrevaLVF, on 03/25/2008, -0/+3I'm not even 5' tall, but I took down my 6'4" ex (a bully) by grabbing his ankles and falling backward, which sent him sailing head-first in the opposite direction and slamming his head and back on the floor so hard, it shook the house. That was the last time he ever physically attacked me.
- TrevaLVF, on 03/25/2008, -0/+4Those of us that were bullied had opportunity to develop certain traits to make us better people. To be compassionate and sensitive about the feelings of others, to detest bullying and to strive to encourage respect in others.
Some of us have learned that most bullies build a shell to mask their own vulnerabilities, that they tend to act tough out of fear of displaying their own weaknesses, or by trying to escape them through radically opposite means (bullying). Often, by standing up to them and telling them off while stating clearly in a strong voice, "I am not afraid of you," is enough to convince a bully that such bravery might come from confidence in one's own ability to fight back. Bullies tend to prefer easy targets. A lot of them come from homes where bullying is practiced through physical and/or psychological (perhaps verbal) abuse. Some are just kids and adults that haven't been held accountable for their anti-social behavior and could probably use some very humbling lessons to teach them that if they didn't learn how to be respectful toward others from the home, then the world will teach them sooner, or later. Prisons are full of bullies. So are hospitals and graveyards. There's always a tougher kid that's a better fighter and every bully is likely to run into one of those kids. Often, the bully mistakenly assumes that the tougher kid is easy prey. Sometimes, that tougher kid doesn't beat the bully through physical force, but through intelligence, quit wit and a strong sense of sarcastic humor, or by accessing a good lawyer. - yonoz, on 03/25/2008, -0/+3I'm not a parent, so this comment is written humbly.
"1) Talk to your child" - the most trivial part is the one that is most often overlooked. These days kids have so many distractions, it's a good idea to uphold some sort of tradition that allows the parent to talk to each child one-on-one.
Apart from that, I disagree with the whole idea of teaching children how to fight, but I understand how modern society leaves parents with little choice in the matter. As I said, I'm not a parent so I there's no telling how I'll handle a situation such as described ITA.- TrevaLVF, on 03/25/2008, -0/+2It is different from the parental perspective, especially a parent that was bullied and discovered that some bullies don't back down and get worse with victims that don't fight back.
- SteelChicken, on 03/25/2008, -0/+5teach your kids to fight, but only when attacked first. yeah, they may get into some trouble at school for it, but as long as you got their back who cares. generally once you stand up once and very publically to bullies, the bullies will move on to easier to targets.
I unfortunately didn't learn this lesson until high school. - arevolutionof1, on 03/25/2008, -0/+2Dude, this is a long post and I haven't gotten all the way through yet, but I think your advice to not involve the school is not good. Teachers and principals are not all the same. And if they don't want to be involved, they shouldn't be working and parents should take it up the chain even to the school board. Unless we work together to improve the schools they will continue to be bad.
Second thing, kids are kids. You do dumb stuff when you're a kid. I was bullied before, but in turn I was occasionally, rarely, but in a case or two I was a bully, because I just didn't know any better. Something also needs to be done in these schools simply to teach kids about tolerance and how to treat other people and why it's wrong.
Again, I was bullied many more times than I ever bullied anyone else, but I can remember one case when I tried, being talked out of it by the kid I was bullying. By being reminded of what it felt like to be picked on for being different. I felt ashamed and stopped and never did it again.
To give up on the schools without trying or other people is just not good advice my friend. I see over and over in the comments, teach your kids to fight, meaning use violence as a first resort to respond to violence and it's a shame. There are ways to stand up for yourself, not make yourself an easy target that aren't a resort to the same sort of violence.- americangoy, on 03/25/2008, -1/+2Thanks for your input.
I stand by my advice to FIRST go to the police, make a report about the CRIME that was committed, and then having done that involve the school.
- americangoy, on 03/25/2008, -1/+2Thanks for your input.
- morningmatters, on 03/25/2008, -0/+1I am not sure if the parents' involved has helped any, if not made the situation worse. The bullied kid here has major self confidence issues and he will need to adjust that sooner or later. The bullying does not stop at high school but continues through out life, at work places and social events. So its very important that people learn how to fend off certain situations.
The lawsuit probably the best course here but it's a bit sad to have to rely on that to diffuse the situation. - 33iLL, on 03/25/2008, -0/+1I was bullied as a kid as well. You don't see me ***** about it on my blog.
3!LL- 2bsbc, on 03/25/2008, -0/+1I was going to jump your ass; however, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, consider your comment a childish remark and leave it at that.
But, don't push your luck because I don't like smart ass bullies.- 33iLL, on 03/28/2008, -0/+1I don't understand what you're insinuating. Do you mean to say I'm acting like a smart ass bully? Or that I'm defending the smart ass bullies this story is about by insulting the author? A mixture of the two?
Jump my ass? Ooooh, don't push my luck or you'll leave a stern comment. I made myself clear, but I'll try to make it clearer.
I was bullied at school, viciously. To the point where I took a hunting knife to school intending to stab the person responsible. Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance as my parents realized the knife was missing and called the school. This was pre-columbine, so I just got a suspension for it, but my bitch of a sister decided to tell said bully what my intentions were, which exacerbated the problem for me.
Now, instead of getting pissed on other's behalf, or constantly whining about it, I took all that built up piss and vinegar from years of being called a ***** and a pussy, getting jumped by group of jock-*****, etc. and used it as fuel for achieving what I want to do with the rest of my life, rather than living ten years in the past. Really, I think it's stupid that people take it upon themselves to get pissed off on the behalf of others for things that don't matter. All those guys I took ***** from, well, their lives have gotten worse. Mine's gotten better, all through the magical power of hate-fuel. I hope that clarifies.
Peace,
3!LL
- 33iLL, on 03/28/2008, -0/+1I don't understand what you're insinuating. Do you mean to say I'm acting like a smart ass bully? Or that I'm defending the smart ass bullies this story is about by insulting the author? A mixture of the two?
- 2bsbc, on 03/25/2008, -0/+1I was going to jump your ass; however, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, consider your comment a childish remark and leave it at that.
- leopardflames, on 03/25/2008, -0/+1after a few incidents when i was a kid i took matters into my own hands afterschool while walking home. i told the kid during our recess earlier in the day that if he didn't cool it he would have "it" coming to him. i didn't know what it was going to be until i didn't finish all of my lunch. after school he started throwing chunks of ice at me so i took mott's apple sauce out of my lunch bag, opened it up and threw it at him. his mom started yelling at me because "look at what you did to his new jacket." i told her "maybe your son can learn not to be such a jerkoff." i was 10 at the time.
- mckirsch, on 03/25/2008, -2/+1Read the NY Times Article. No KID deserves beatings like he has taken. I don't care if he is a punk.
I sent an email to the administration of the school letting them know what I thought of their school and their work.
The website for the school has ALL of their email addresses on it.
http://schoolcenter.fayar.net/education/school/sch ...
Please feel free to share your opinions with the school administration.- americangoy, on 03/25/2008, -0/+2not sure what this link is - beware COULD be virus spam.
my firefox doesn't open it because I have cookies disabled.- mckirsch, on 03/26/2008, -0/+1Its the website for the school district dude, not a RickRoll.
I just checked it again and their site is down. Likely from all of the adverse email they received.
Not SPAM though. Really.- americangoy, on 03/26/2008, -0/+1Okee
site still down though
- americangoy, on 03/26/2008, -0/+1Okee
- mckirsch, on 03/26/2008, -0/+1Its the website for the school district dude, not a RickRoll.
- americangoy, on 03/25/2008, -0/+2not sure what this link is - beware COULD be virus spam.
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