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Michael Vick outed as an Al Qaeda operative, sued for 63 zillion dollars

foxnews.com — Embattled NFL quarterback Michael Vick, facing federal charges related to his alleged participation in dogfighting, has been hit with a "$63,000,000,000 zillion dollar" lawsuit...

Who dugg this? Made popular Aug 15, 2007

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  • canewediggit, on 10/10/2007, -5/+347best thing i've read all day. it's a rarity when fox outfunnies the onion.
  • scalebane, on 10/10/2007, -3/+142The handwritten note they included is way funnier than the article: http://www.foxnews.com/projects/pdf/riches_jonathan_file.pdf
  • iamsamsamiam, on 10/10/2007, -2/+99honestly i thought this was going to be an onion article, turns out to be from fox.
    funny ***** *thumbs up*
  • chris9902, on 10/10/2007, -2/+98wtf did I just read?
  • peterjmag, on 10/10/2007, -2/+95“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes."

    How does one go about physically hurting someone's feelings?
  • PhoenixAvatar2, on 10/10/2007, -3/+95I thought it was going to be the Onion, but no. It's fox news.
  • jtbndy, on 10/10/2007, -3/+72wtf is microwave testing
  • jayneff, on 03/30/2009, -2/+70http://www.citypaper.net/articles/2006-04-13/NC_FP_Lawsuit.pdf

    "On March 9, Riches filed a prisoner civil rights suit (2:06-cv-01055-LP) in Philadelphia's U.S. District Court complete with a 57-page defendant list crammed with luminaries both living (President Bush, Grace Jones) and dead (George Orwell, Malcolm X), as well as nonentities like the Magna Carta, www.accuweather.com and Skittles candy."
  • onyxraven1979, on 10/10/2007, -8/+68Since this waste of taxpayers money and of air in general wrote "63,000,000,000.00 Billion", I wonder if this braindead realizes that comes out to 63 quintillion (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quintillion) if my math skills hold up.
    Here is a link to a .pdf of the masterpiece. http://www.foxnews.com/projects/pdf/riches_jonathan_file.pdf
    I also like the violation of the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th, and 14th Amendments.
  • ThndrShk2k, on 10/10/2007, -3/+615 is odd.
  • lesty420, on 10/10/2007, -1/+51He should probably settle out of court
  • lazyrussian, on 10/10/2007, -1/+50Before I even clicked on this digg-post, I thought this was anther Onion article.
  • darthjure, on 10/10/2007, -3/+48Here's the real headline:

    "South Carolina Inmate Discovers Just How Easy It Is To Become a Fox News Headline"
  • richmondphotog, on 10/10/2007, -1/+40he has a copyright on his name and charges vick with copyright infringement.
  • cuoops, on 10/10/2007, -2/+39My jaw dropped when I hovered over the link and it wasn't The Onion.
  • inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+34***** that was the best story all month
  • mrASSMAN, on 10/10/2007, -1/+32"Subjected me to microwave testing."

    lmao.
  • breadfred, on 10/10/2007, -2/+30jeez - among the defendants: Gangs of Honk Kong, the European Union, Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux KLan???? getting funnier and funnier the further you read on: Colossus of Rhodes, Gay Pride Parade, ***** Clerk... what is this guy on? I want some!
  • inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+29I love the copyright symbol he put after his name in there.

    LOL.... the money is to be delivered via UPS to his prison
  • Gizza, on 10/10/2007, -2/+30Just how much money? No one knows?
    $63 zillion? $63,000,000,000 zillion? $63,000,000,000 billion? $63 billion?
  • scalebane, on 10/10/2007, -2/+27You gotta love the way he didn't bother to explain that one any further.
  • bigmrpig, on 10/10/2007, -9/+33This is ridiculous. There's no way he'll get more than 20,000,000,000 billion dollars out of this with those charges. Vick should probably just settle for that amount, though; the case against him is too strong to take to court.
  • SuperMoses, on 10/10/2007, -0/+23Don't mess with Jonathan Lee Riches©
  • Abomonog, on 10/10/2007, -2/+24In other headlines today. Fox News is sued by "The Onion" for copyright infringement. :)
  • mrASSMAN, on 10/10/2007, -0/+19You have to understand, his feelings were hurt and his dreams were dashed. Those things are priceless and require massive amounts of money to repair.
  • FK0123, on 10/10/2007, -2/+20Well, they are both fiction. Just one of them is usually funnier than the other.
  • m3mn0n, on 10/10/2007, -1/+19That's how we ballers roll.

    Respectfully submitted,
    Kevin Rose©
  • fkr3, on 10/10/2007, -2/+19By beating them with a baseball bat.
  • addictedidol, on 10/10/2007, -0/+17He is suing Plato! Roflmao.

    This is just too funny to be sad .
  • BillyBIanks, on 10/10/2007, -0/+16It takes a bit longer to process hand-written copyright applications...
  • mushoo, on 10/10/2007, -1/+16And the little heart on the i in testing.
  • expiredmeatbag, on 10/10/2007, -0/+15"Michael Vick used drugs in school zones"

    the bastard
  • IEatHamburgers, on 10/10/2007, -0/+15Yeah but in the article it says "billion" not "zillion"
  • felman87, on 10/10/2007, -4/+19I didn't believe it till I double-checked it on the main site. It's there. Holy *****!
  • UnrealsKY, on 10/10/2007, -0/+14I don't even really know what to say.

    The handwritten complaint is priceless. Apparently "On Feb 10th 2007, MICHAEL VICK plead allegiance to Al-qaeda." ...oh my... pleading allegiance.

    But honestly, how much better would it be if this was all true. Michael Vick, secret terrorist spy for Al-qaeda. Now that's priceless. Picked a real winner there.
  • fkr3, on 10/10/2007, -2/+15His sister's hot... you wouldn't say no either.
  • NoahK, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13Love the last part... "Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes."
  • Nougat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13Defendant:
    BENEDICT, XVI
    POPE

    That kills.
  • blindcydeee, on 10/10/2007, -1/+14See, even prisoners know the way to grab the headlines is to mention 'Al Quaeda.'
  • thetechkid, on 10/10/2007, -2/+15This honestly made me smile.
  • adamrgolf, on 10/10/2007, -1/+14Asks the judge.

    Riches replies: "Did it for the lulz."
  • ToadLeg, on 10/10/2007, -0/+12*other people laugh*

    Sir, one million dollars isn't much money anymore.

    Ok then, I want SIXTY-THREE BILLION DOLLARS!!!!!!!
  • thelizardreborn, on 10/10/2007, -0/+12We should petition for this guys prison sentence to be extended and that he be provided with a typewriter so he can churn out more of this.

    And whenever he gets out, the Onion should hire him.
  • esbern1, on 10/10/2007, -0/+12way to take all of the funny out of this entire thread
  • Cyphase, on 10/10/2007, -3/+14Same here. I thought it was an Onion article, especially because of "zillion".
  • vptel, on 10/10/2007, -3/+14how about 5 bucks and we call it even?
  • davdev, on 10/10/2007, -2/+12Fox News, same thing.
  • snea, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10The article, and the hand-written filing both say "$63,000,000,000 billion dollars" which I guess would be $63,000,000,000,000,000,000 or 63 quintillion as someone else mentioned. It might as well be a zillion because even on Vick's salary it will take about 8 billion years to pay Mr. Richards that amount.
  • AlbinusOfAngers, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9Vick punched him right in the amygdala.
  • rglover, on 10/10/2007, -4/+13Please, let this guy be right. That would be ***** HILARIOUS.
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