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- Chairboy, on 11/20/2008, -7/+213The report is so dry. I wanted something with more meat, so I wrote up this news story the way _I_ wanted to hear about it:
ONBOARD THE INDIAN SHIP: A pair of Indian soldiers board their Zodiac rafts, deep within the bowels of the ship. They finish buckling in, checking ammo. The same scene happens multiple times throughout the ship. The captain calls down on the phone: "Launch all boats!"
A series of hatches open on the side of the ship, with a long corridor extending backwards into the depths of the superstructure. The simultaneous roar of 10 outboard motors being fired up thunders out the holes. Back in the launchbay, the crew gives a thumbs up to the launch operator. He punches a release button on his panel and the boats drop free of their winch onto the ramp and begin sliding down faster and faster. With a howl of internal combustion, they fly out the side of the ship in quick succession from their different ports and splash into the water.
"Boats away!" cries the second officer. The captain nods an gestures for the hatches to shut. "Prepare to lay down anti-boat fire on them, they'll respond shortly." Moments later, he is proven correct as a watch officer sights and calls out a small flotilla of mismatched boats pouring out of the Somali pirate mothership.
The Zodiacs close with the pirate fleet and begin trading fire. Their 30mm cannons fire as they dart in and out of the attacking pirate fleet. The Somali boats are mismatched, some are rafts, some are wood, but they're all full of angry pirates. With an explosion, a tracer round ignites the fuel tank on one of the wooden boats, sending a flame clowd up into the air and blowing the tiny craft apart. The pirates are responding to the gunfire by throwing barrages of grenades. Most explode harmlessly underwater, the victims of poor throwing, but one manages to land in an Indian raft which disintegrates in a mix of vulcanized rubber and 30 year old ex-soviet shrapnel.
The captain of the Indian vessel orders his ship to close with the mothership. "Open fire, all main batteries! Target them amidship!" The repeated rhythmic thumping of the deck cannons changes slightly as they switch to armor piercing rounds and begin shooting at the other ship instead of the boat fleet.
Suddenly, a massive explosion next to the Indian ship sends water flying into the air, drenching everyone ondeck.
"My god, sir," the second officer says breathlessly, "they must have a howitzer over there!"
"That was an old 8 inch round I believe, and indeed, that must be a fixed emplacement they've welded to the deck there. We must endeavour to avoid allowing them to get our range, yes?" He suggests dryly, then turn. "Helm ahead flank, come to one one zero!"
"Sir, that'll bring us right at them!"
"Correct, and we'll present a smaller target as we try to get under their minimal depression. Those old guns weren't designed for direct fire, perhaps we can take advantage of that."
Two of the Somali boats break free of the skirmish and beeline towards the Indian cruiser. A zodiac follows shortly, close behind. The pirate boats are briefly wreathed in smoke as the quickly assembled mortars onboard fire, but the rounds fall short of the charging ship. Moments later, they explode as the pursuing Zodiac's 30mm cannons make contact.
Up ahead, the rounds from the deck gun continue to pound the side of the ship until there's a sudden flash, then a gout of fire erupts from the hole. "Hit! We've hit something valuable, I believe!" The second officer pounds his chair exultantly.
"Steady, number two. Retarget the #2 gun for that field artillery piece, air burst. Concentrate everything else on that hole." The guns continue to fire. The artillery piece on the Somali freighter fires again, missing by 20 feet, then falls silent as the unshielded crew become victims of precision anti-personnel airburst munitions.
"Bring us about to one eight zero and slow to 10 knots. I'd rather not get any closer for now in case their muni-" The captain's words are cut off by a bright flash as the ammo stores ignite and detonate on the other ship. A ring of distortion races outwards from the stricken vessel at the speed of sound. As it hits the Indian vessel, everything aboard rattles and the crew winces at the sharp report of exploding armaments. The Somali ship, now almost completely lifeless, breaks in half and begins to sink as secondary explosions erupt.
"As I was saying, in case their munitions are hit. Very well, cease fire and bring us back to the skirmish. Let's see if we can offer some assistance." The captain leans over to stir his tea.
Most of the pirate fighterboats are sunk or burning, but two more have broken free and escaped into an inlet. The pursuing Zodiac is running at half power because of an unlucky impact by a lucky grenade fragment and loses sight of the boats as they disappear around a bend.
"Well done, crew. Signal all boats to return and radio New Delhi. I imagine they'll be somewhat interested in our afternoon adventure."
....ok, so I like Battlestar Galactica.
The real fight would probably more accurately be described as:
BANG-BANG. (pause) BOOOOOOOM! "Tally-ho!" - zacharytelschow, on 11/19/2008, -2/+75Despite the lighthearted responses above, this certainly isn't a laughing matter. It brings up sticky legal issues similar to those of apprehending the enemy combatants that end up in gitmo, particularly since no one has jurisdiction in international waters. I wonder when shipping companies will begin training and arming their crews.
- drex8, on 11/20/2008, -1/+74Wow that is the best composed story in the comments section of Digg I ever read from beginning to end and Dugg up.
And people shouldn't complain being it as a wall of text, because brevity would have ruined it. - Shruthi99, on 11/20/2008, -7/+74India ***** owns.
- brandita, on 11/20/2008, -4/+69India 1, Pirates 0.
- ElGanyan, on 11/19/2008, -5/+69Clearly a ninja conspiracy!
- inactive, on 11/20/2008, -0/+59OPEC meeting footnote:
" I can't believe these pirates would have the ***** audacity to use oil as a ransom against common people! " - timothycrash01, on 11/20/2008, -4/+62I sense a Bollywood musical coming out of this.
- MattBlackCat, on 11/19/2008, -6/+63Klingons off the starboard bow!
- Harabeck, on 11/19/2008, -1/+55Seriously, pirates aren't funny. It's not romantic or cool, and these crews are very lucky that these pirates seem very civilized for such a criminal band (they actually release hostages). This is a huge blow to shipping in the area and could have economic reprucussions across the region. Which in the long term may make things even worse in the areas the pirates are operating from...
- AndySavage, on 11/20/2008, -7/+61INDIA!
***** YEAH!
COMIN AGAIN TO SAVE THE ***** DAY YEAAAAAH - Tenlow, on 11/20/2008, -0/+49I almost hate to say it, but this one isn't a sticky situation at all. Killing someone engaged in the act of piracy on the high seas is justifiable in virtually every court of law.
You do not jail pirates. You kill them. - ICLW, on 11/20/2008, -8/+49After the attack the ships captain was overheard saying "thank you, come again"
- readacook, on 11/20/2008, -1/+41Zapp Brannigan - What's that?
Kif- It appears to be the mothership.
Zapp- Then what did we just blow up?
Kif- The Hubble Telescope - cle2105, on 11/19/2008, -1/+33Pirates argh bad, of course, but this seems like a good opportunity for several countries to once again work together towards a common goal. This pirate problem is something that the US, Russia, China, the Euro-zone, et cetera can agree on, which should be a boost to foreign relations
- writer0213, on 11/19/2008, -5/+36This is just too good for TV!
- flyingclutchman, on 11/20/2008, -3/+32What video game were you playing when this happened?
- highorbit, on 11/20/2008, -4/+29I love the Indian Navy
- Shaggy3, on 11/20/2008, -8/+33***** you, two of my pirate friends died on that ship.
- vanguardanon, on 11/20/2008, -0/+24A digg just didn't do that justice. I think you're the first person I've ever sent a friend request to. I liked it.
- scoottie, on 11/20/2008, -1/+25We must mobilize the ninjas to help defeat the pirates
- RabidAngel, on 11/20/2008, -2/+25Don't kid yourself about guns aboard private yachts. I have served as a "knowledgeable guest" on a very wealthy individuals yacht before, some years back. There were concealed forward and aft compartments with multiple M16s, body armor, and about twenty thousand rounds of ammo. We sailed across the gulf, to various spots in Mexico where there was known pirate activity (at that time). In the event of unwelcome boarders, the plan was to put them down, dump them overboard, and forget the entire incident before we made port. On the few trips I made, nothing ever happened except a nice luxury cruise.
- shallot, on 11/20/2008, -4/+25Go India Go....kick some more piratey ass....
- Atomic1fire, on 11/20/2008, -0/+20japan too,
Giving the pirates vs ninjas argument an actual battlefield. - computershack, on 11/20/2008, -0/+20There are no legal issues. The pirates fired on an Indian Warship. It returned fire.
If you shoot at a well armed warship, don't be surprised when it fires back. - Mokshaguy390, on 11/20/2008, -0/+19About a year ago there was a famous boarding of a luxury cruiser. Those pirates had rocket launchers. I don't know about you, but I've played Goldeneye. I wouldn't blame anyone for not standing up against a ***** rocket launcher.
- wolfeater2, on 11/20/2008, -3/+22In other news, world temperature rose 3 degrees today.
- cptcaucasian, on 11/20/2008, -0/+19must be some stupid ass pirates firing on a military frigate
- xptoast, on 11/20/2008, -1/+19You do not speak for many diggers. You speak for yourself you crazy monkey. Go eat some bananas and have fun with your poo. Now off you go.
- inactive, on 11/20/2008, -3/+21DISHOOM!
- vanguardanon, on 11/20/2008, -4/+21It's hard for me to understand why a billion dollar tanker can't have a weapon capable of sinking a pirate's POS ship.
- AmyVernon, on 11/19/2008, -4/+20Avast, maties! Prepare to be boarded!
- flyingclutchman, on 11/20/2008, -7/+23That's the thing, private companies aren't allowed to arm their crews in international waters. It is against international law and is meant to stop pirates.
I dunno who it was but some billionaire from Europe just recently made a yacht that was like 1.5 billion dollars. Since they aren't allowed to have guns they have all this crazy stuff like water cannons and former SAS agents.
I think we need to tell the pirates they are breaking the law by having guns. This directly shows why gun control dosen't work, bad guys don't give a ***** about breaking the law. - Pinkertinkle, on 11/20/2008, -1/+16They should make captured pirates walk the plank.
- Chairboy, on 11/20/2008, -1/+16My use of language tenses was far from my most weird thing I will do.
- AndySavage, on 11/20/2008, -0/+15They have nukes.
The more you know - GuacamoleSan, on 11/20/2008, -0/+15I'd like to take a moment of silence in memory of the Somali navy, just recently destroyed by India. *moment of silence*
- PistolSun, on 11/20/2008, -1/+15You ***** dumb asses.The only information you know is what steven spielberg shows you in the movies.Eating Monkey brains, I really laughed for an hour hearing this go out of America and see the world.India has the 3rd largest army in the world and more active troops than US
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_ ... - MarkOfTheDead, on 11/20/2008, -1/+15If you didn't read it, don't comment on it.
It was pretty amazing, not that you'd know. - professorchaos1, on 11/20/2008, -0/+14Yeah, you're the only one.
- peterinjapan, on 11/20/2008, -0/+13First the moon, now the pirates. You know, they're a pretty damn cool country.
- Chairboy, on 11/20/2008, -0/+13Thanks!
- shagmin, on 11/20/2008, -0/+12Pirates may not be funny but pirates dressed up as clowns are.
Everything that's happened and what's predicted to happen are most likely taken into account for determining the price of trade for that area.
Actually I just remembered, the US (among other nations) have had similar problems in the past with the same general part of the world and always dealt with it. If anything this is the kinda stuff a war on terror should be fighting against.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbary_pirate#United ... - ashwinmudigonda, on 11/20/2008, -0/+11Weird! No one made the joke. So let me, as an Indian, do it:
We outsourced even pirate sniping to the Indians. - BossKey, on 11/20/2008, -4/+15BLAM BLAM BLAM
"Thank you, come again..." - UntouchableC, on 11/20/2008, -0/+11Grappling hooks can get you on board. Stealth and or explosives can get you through doors. Unless the ship has armed security, there is very little you can do apart from sounding the alarm and preying they dont kill you for doing so.
Quite simply, once they get hold of one hostage...they can make threats of execution to secure anything they want. On or off the ship. - CTabuga, on 11/20/2008, -3/+14Ninjas 1 - Pirates 0
- inactive, on 11/20/2008, -1/+11speak for yourself, *****.
- sanguinekane, on 11/20/2008, -1/+11Because its against international law for a civilian vessel (i.e: a ship that doesn't belong to an official navy) to have weapons.
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