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54 Comments
- cersad, on 06/30/2009, -2/+51Good for them.
- theshizzler, on 06/30/2009, -2/+50Two women don't make a trend.
- Jackson0909, on 06/30/2009, -0/+43I have more respect for the women who choose not to be a part of the ***** show created by their philandering husbands. Eliot Spitzer's wife looked humiliated standing next to him while he made his confession at the podium.
- besos, on 07/01/2009, -0/+34As a married woman, I don't understand the expectations for a woman to "stand by her man" when the husband has quite obviously betrayed the vows that kept them together. If any spouse has so little respect for their significant other, or the relationship they share, that they are willing to risk everything they have (including children) for the excitement of a fling, no matter how brief or extended, then there is no need to stay. No man, woman or family should EVER be expected to endure more than they already have through the betrayal, shame, disappointment and heart-break that comes with such an experience. It is a CHOICE that the two involved make. Not a requirement.
- silverchrysalis, on 06/30/2009, -1/+33why should they? if the man is the one who screwed up, why should the wife stand beside and help him take the flak? and it should work the other way around, as well- husbands & wives.
- ennuisquared, on 06/30/2009, -3/+34This wouldn't be a problem if people elected swingers.
- cowboy77061, on 06/30/2009, -3/+31only retards stay with cheating spouses.
Hilary - fandyllic, on 07/01/2009, -0/+27"It may be that women just feel that they can do whatever they want," Bowman said.
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How dare those women not support their lying, cheating, hypocritical bastard husbands. Next they'll want equal rights, control over they're bodies, and to get promoted based on merit and qualifications! Horrible, I tell you. - QueenTiye, on 06/30/2009, -2/+22I don't think Men would stand by their cheating wives either...probably even less
- HurricaneDC, on 07/01/2009, -0/+18The relationship couldn't have been that strong if the damn person cheated.
- besos, on 07/01/2009, -0/+17No need for statistics. As a woman I don't see myself as a number and neither should my husband. The idea that either of us should "...accept" because everybody's doing it is ludicrous.
- robintre, on 07/01/2009, -0/+16As a married man, I concur wholeheartedly. I think that "standing by her man" in the way it's meant here, becomes a further betrayal of self on the part of the betrayed spouse, that is both unnecessary and would imperil whatever relationship might be possible between the couple afterwards.
- publiclurker, on 07/01/2009, -0/+16Please join the 20th century. Then we'll see about letting you into the 21st with the rest of us.
- Foxprowl, on 06/30/2009, -5/+20Tell me about it. In college I randomly found myself with 2 chicks while I was a freshman. I was like, "Wow, I'm going to spend the rest of my 4 years here banging 2 girls at once!" Sadly, I never again experienced the joy that is 2 chicks at the same time again...
Not a trend indeed
/relevance - besos, on 07/01/2009, -0/+14As a matter of fact, you do. That is the only reason recognized by both court AND church for those who have chosen to take their vows under either.
- Gerz1219, on 07/01/2009, -1/+15Hmm, so you'd expect the husband of a female politician to stand wordlessly and submissively behind her while she spilled every last detail of blowing her intern? Because in that scenario, the woman would be the one with greater clout supporting the family. I always feel horrible for political wives who have to plaster on a fake ***** smile in the middle of a humiliating scandal. The sooner the Mrs. McGreevy/Spitzer perp walk ends the better.
- besos, on 07/01/2009, -0/+14Within those vows is also a promise. That promise is the premise behind those vows being written. You are promising lives and love and bodies to each other. You go into a marriage as two people CHOOSING to commit to one another, not one another AND others. When there is an affair, that promise is broken as is the commitment. This is simply my perspective and you, of course, are free to make your own choices about how you would handle a similar situation.
- kinseyincanada, on 06/30/2009, -1/+14why would someone stand by the person that cheated on them? Its kind of a dick-move.
- publiclurker, on 06/30/2009, -1/+13Ruth Madoff left her husband out to dry so she could spend the rest of her life in a mansion with a couple of mill and whatever she thinks she can hide of their stolen money. If shw stuck by him she'd also be facing 150 years.
- Bethi, on 07/01/2009, -0/+12wow, really? it's bad enough that their husbands ***** them over but some people think it cowardly that they won't take the public ridicule along with them? sometimes I feel like I'm living back in the middle ages.
- silverchrysalis, on 07/01/2009, -0/+12many modern women (wives of politicians, normal working moms, etc) have A LOT to do with supporting their families as well. for example, if you read about Sanford's wife, she helped his career in so many ways, as well as working in the finance world, and he did this to her. he deserves to stand alone in his humiliation. and i would say the same about any woman who did this to a man.
traditional 'man supporting family' roles haven't been the same in about 2 generations. get with the program. - thisisapen, on 07/01/2009, -0/+11WTF? Let me get this straight. It's men who engage in scandals and women who are expected to forgive them? Somehow I doubt that if it was a wife found to have cheated, an article would not be written claiming that men should stand by their cheating wives. Does the adulterer escape blame for being a poor husband and immoral human being? These women should not walk, but run from men who vowed to honor their wives then perpetuated downright evil lies to their faces.
Mr. Zakaria's ugly chauvinism is on full display here. This is the stupidest thing I've read in a long time. - publiclurker, on 07/01/2009, -1/+12You seem to have forgotten the part that says "forsaking all others". that one is kind of a big deal to a lot of us
- BagelWaffle, on 07/01/2009, -0/+11Madoff trying to get away with as much stolen loot as she can while staying out of prison in no way compares to Sanford refusing to bolster her husband's political stock by standing next to him while he publicly humiliates her. Jenny Sanford was "old money" she didn't need to stick by the nutcase.
- 8FoldPath, on 07/01/2009, -0/+10I think a main reason is for the kids. Parental conflict can be especially hard on children; not to mention some douchebag cheating on Father's Day. It's basically a middle finger directed to his family.
- Suilenroc, on 07/01/2009, -0/+9Why the hell would you "stand by your man," if that man cheated on you? I agree with NPR's "Left, Right, and Center" evaluation of Mrs. Sanford (Wife of Gov. Sanford). They applauded her for not "standing by him" when the Governor was giving his apology.
- LilRabbitFooFoo, on 07/01/2009, -0/+6Uh, why is Ruth Madoff not in jail with her husband? I thought the employees made it clear she was thoroughly complicit in everything.
She also helped siphon off funds at the end, etc. etc.
So, why is she not in jail for the rest of her worthless life too?! - MsArtGeek, on 07/01/2009, -0/+6It's actually a fairly fundamental concept of contract law that if one party fails to live up to the terms of the agreement, the other party is not obligated to continue holding up their end. Hot news flash. Don't agree with me? Make a contract with someone, fail to deliver on your promises in said contract, then take them to court when you don't get what the contract said you should, and see whose side the judge takes.
- woodrow177, on 07/01/2009, -0/+6Jenny Sanford for Governor. She seems to be the one with the Brains and Integrity.
- softboiled, on 07/01/2009, -0/+5two wives "don't stand by their men" and reuters thinkgs this is a newsworthy trend?
- Agamemnon582bc, on 07/01/2009, -0/+4"As the line goes in Grosse Point Blank..."
That wouldn't have anything to do with it being on tv right now, would it? - IKORKYI, on 07/01/2009, -0/+4I mean, your husband did go on national television to admit he was having an affair...but he also said, on national television, that he would *try* to fall back in love with you. that's gotta mean something.
kinda like how you'll *try* to not kick him in the balls everytime you see him. - anakast, on 07/01/2009, -0/+4Believe me, I wouldn't want my wife to stand by me if I did something like that, it'd make me feel even worse.
- danydral, on 06/30/2009, -0/+3Does tht mean Hillary clinton is an exception????
- RudeTurnip, on 06/30/2009, -1/+3Bill keeps the pimp hand strong: http://digg.com/d1uOmW
- DrJG, on 07/01/2009, -0/+2Would be fun to see barackalypse above stand by a wife convicted of murder, adultery, misappropriation of church funds and alleged misbehaviour with minors, all in the precise manner he prescribes, pretending she is not guilty and the court and the lovers are all lying.
If not, this is another windbag misogynist parading around covered by pages of an old book. - DrJG, on 07/01/2009, -0/+2Men who would stand by a wife with any form of publicly known, proven and unquestionable misconduct would be few. In fact not only a husband but parents, children and friends would discard a woman more likely than not across the world at the first hint of any damage to her reputation. A woman standing by her man including if he were a nazi were the virtues of an era of a woman being unable to separate and survive by her own virtues of talent and hard work and efforts, and such virtues of a bygone era now belong where the bygone era is not yet gone, that is, the woman is unable to survive without the misbehaving husband and has to put a face on her having to stick with the criminal.
Hilary Clinton I thought made her stance clear, that the much errant husband was still a valuable president and he was her president too; moreover she was his valuable half much like the Roosevelt couple, not a dependent. She did not need to go public with her feelings to a nation that was acutely aware of the whole farce. - Rioracer916, on 06/30/2009, -3/+4Well why not?
I mean those women have cush lifestyles that they'd never have again if they stood up for themselves and walked out on their "man".
It's a career for these women (and some men). What ever works I suppose. Personally I wouldn't want to live my life being a relationship purely to further my spouses political image and career.
A lot of these high profile marriages are business deals and nothing more. It's when these guys get caught and the political opposition wants to use that as ammo to take their enemy down, that's when all the "OMG I feel so humiliated!" sob stories come out.
You can't be married to someone for decades and NOT know they are cheating or doing shady business stuff, I just don't buy it. - publiclurker, on 06/30/2009, -0/+1Lack of a good prenuptial?
- fury2112, on 07/01/2009, -0/+1Here's the deal. If it's a Republican wife, she should stick by her man no matter how sleazy his actions. If it's a Democrat wife, you can't respect her sticking by her man.
That's what my mom thinks anyway. - DrJG, on 07/01/2009, -0/+1If man supporting family were true widowers and divorced men would not hurry to marry as they do, while widows and divorced women would not take longer to try to find another husband as they do. Truth is, this whole supporting is notional and false, and if men were required to pay for the services rendered by the wife even without taking marital bed into account, the man would be either bankrupt or working in the house to be even; if women refused to work in unpaid sector, nations would collapse. Not only families but schools and communities take women's work (and support) for granted, without paying. Women have always worked in farms and much else through ages, only not been holding the whips and reins that often. And even in upper class and politics if you see history women have worked silently to achieve results with great success as hostesses who bring people together and introduce ideas or projects and let the men think they did it.
In any case man being able to throw out a woman who misbehaves while expecting her to take it if he does is as absurd as the argument turned around on the basis that she cooks or keeps house. - emjaymj, on 07/01/2009, -1/+2Guys... don't feed the troll. Nobody is stupid enough to believe that this falls into the "for worse" part of the wedding vows. I mean, this would just enable people to get married and then have NO accountability to each other.
Fun fact: That phrase is from the "Book of Common Prayer." A Christian book, first introduced by the Church of England in 1549. Adultery, on the other hand, is pretty specifically forbidden as one of the Ten Commandments.
Now... I'm not religious, but which do you think people are supposed to more strictly adhere to? A book from the Church of England, or the Ten Commandments supposedly handed down by God himself? - cfuse, on 07/01/2009, -2/+2I can understand telling him to ***** off if she has any self respect, but she married a politician, so it's fair to assume that isn't the case.
Generally speaking, politicians wives stand by them for the same reasons they married them in the first place: politics. It's generally a two person job, so they're just protecting their own investment.
When it comes to the general population however, women who divorce invariably fair worse than men in terms of long term outcomes. They earn less, have fewer relationships and experience a lower quality of life overall - it sounds counter intuitive, but the stats don't lie. Sometimes swallowing your pride is the smart thing to do (still, sometimes it isn't - I'd have told him to ***** off too). - iDrifter, on 06/30/2009, -3/+2Perhaps a start of one.
- ryrysofly, on 07/01/2009, -5/+2you're like a digg god!
- Barackalypse, on 07/01/2009, -6/+1I tend to think men can be pretty pragmatic about things and it probably depends more on how hot she is and how much money she has.
- JoeParanoid, on 06/30/2009, -11/+6It tells you how strong the relationship was in the first place. If one partner elects to leave over something as ubiquitous as an affair (statistically women cheat as often as men, which is pretty often), then there was never rmuch of a marriage to begin with. As the line goes in Grosse Point Blank: "some say forgive and forget. I say forget about forgiving and just accept."
- cubicledrone, on 07/01/2009, -10/+4The reason men cheat is very simple: women have a habit of turning marriages into sexless echoing dungeons.
If you are a man, you have more rights buying a lawnmower at a garage sale than you do in a marriage. - Barackalypse, on 07/01/2009, -10/+3Maybe they take their wedding vows seriously, seeing as how every wedding I have ever been to has some variant of "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part" in it.
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