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482 Comments
- TotalCarb, on 11/18/2007, -7/+403If a kid is in mortal danger then I'll help. Anything less than immanent death or maiming and I steer clear. As a single guy I don't get a chance to hang out with families much and I don't know how paranoid people with kids truly are. All I know about the subject is what the media tells me, constantly, that I should never be in any situation where I am alone with a kid for any reason. The story that scares me the most is this one. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,190586,00.html
- AlexBellisBrown, on 11/18/2007, -9/+289Lets face it, us men cant do anything to a child under 16 without running the risk of being called a pervert, just talking to them, somebody might think something is amiss. Unfortunatly, thats just the way people think nowadays. Its the same kind of problem when you see a black person, and you think... ohhhh, he looks like a shifty caracter. Just because you are black, or because you are a man talking to a child you don´t know, people instantly think you are up to no good.
- jeffiek, on 11/18/2007, -2/+252About 10 years ago I was Christmas shopping at ToysRus. A little kid around 3-4 had gotten separated from his/her (I've forgotten which) parent and was crying. Everybody else was just passing by as if nothing was unusual. I looked for an employee while keeping sight of the kid. Didn't find one. Tried talking to the kid. Didn't work. Finally, I was stuck. Pick the kid up or walk away.
I picked the kid up and carried him/her to the customer service desk. Scared? Absolutely. That's what this world has come to - people scared of helping others.
OK. I get the dummy of the year award. I could have just asked another adult, or even just hollered. But the thought didn't cross my mind at the time. It has now, and I will never help a kid again (provided I can get another's help).
All because of a government gone wild, spreading fear of prosecution. What the hell do we need them for if this is what they accomplish? - nova912, on 11/18/2007, -5/+240When I was working a retailer, I won't mention, I was just getting off my break. I went to the bathroom and took care of my business. I started to wash my hand and noticed to little boys at the urinal acting really confused. I turned around to go back on my shift and the young boys (like 8 or 9) came up to me and one of them said: "can you help me put my belt back on" I was like "uhhh no, no I can't" I got the ***** outta there asap... all I could think about was "this is to catch a predator, where is Chris Hanson." The I had a really bad fight or flight reflex when they asked me that...
Someone needs to teach them "No talking or eye contact in the bathroom commandment." - inactive, on 11/18/2007, -23/+224Our corrupt judicial systems ravenous appetite / demand for filling prisons is helping to cause generational disintegration.
- Corinthos, on 11/18/2007, -1/+182You got bigger balls than I do, my toys r us customer service desk is right before the exit. I worked Loss Prevention at Sears 4 years ago. Got two calls that a little girl was hiding in the middle of a rack crying. Went out to the floor to see what was the matter. She came out and i asked her where her mom was and she said she didn't know. I asked her if she wanted to walk with me up to the register to call her mom and she did. We were walking up to the cash wrap to page when a lady came over in a hissy fit screaming at me for walking away with her child. I simply told her I worked there and was going to page her to come get her child because she was crying in the middle of a clothing rack and we are not a babysitting service. Of course she was pissed off and called a manager. She came down and told the woman that we couldn't have anybody going underneath the racks because somebody could get hurt. Woman got pissed and stormed off.
I went back to the camera room and watched just to see what she did next. She ended up in hardware and picked her kid up and sat her on top of a small tool chest and walked 4 aisles down and continued shopping. Then I just sat there and watched the kid on camera since the bitch of a mother couldn't do it herself. There were plenty of things I wanted to say or do but management was a bunch of pussies about offending people. - pleiadianagenda, on 11/18/2007, -24/+196Christ people, grow a spine and stand your ground. If a kid needs help, then help the kid. If people want to make some twisted perverted issue of it, tell them to ***** off and mind their own business, or better yet, tell them they should be ashamed of themselves for thinking that garbage. If they are thinking it, then obviously THEY are the perverts.
All this "walk in the other direction" noise is confirming what we are turning into, a guilty until proven innocent society. If you want the old America back, then take a stand and don't be intimidated by all this political correctness gone haywire. YOU participate in making this country great or dismal, and it starts with how much you are willing to do the right thing. If you are afraid of helping someone out of fear of chastisement, then sadly you are one spineless jellyfish taking no control of your life or your role in society. - ColorBlind, on 11/18/2007, -0/+160It's funny because as I'm reading all of the posts for this thread - what do i hear on the tv? A report at 6:00pm about "is your kid safe with his/her teacher at school?"
Crazy thing this world is now... - rhylan, on 11/18/2007, -23/+142whats wrong wth you lot? if i see a kid crying and no adult of course i'll help - the tabloids and press are making this stupid paranoid atmosphere up - most parents are a lot less reactionary than you'd think
i dont like this walk away culture we're breeding - Remmy, on 11/18/2007, -10/+120My 9th grade Science teacher ran off with a 16 year old girl at my school. That's been awhile ago, but it's jackasses like him that bring forth this mentality. Being a single dad makes you think about everything like this. My daughter is only five right now, but can you imagine when she is a teenager? The last thing I want to worry about is getting accused of being a sexual predator, but instead of just totally ignore a crying child, point it out to other people. Draw attention to the kid and you'll avoid it being drawn to yourself.
- localzuk, on 11/18/2007, -2/+85Working in a school, I find the entire paedophile culture terrifying. As a young male in a non-teaching role, I ensure I am never in a room alone with any child, too much is at stake if they were to make some false claims (which do happen, and I have seen people lose jobs over such things). Once someone makes a false statement about you, even if it is cleared in court, you are marked for life in your community. You are never quite as trust worthy as you were before.
I am advised, in our school, to never touch any child but to instead inform one of our behaviour team or senior managers. So I shouldn't comfort them by putting my arm around them, I shouldn't pick them up if they fall over and need carrying to the office etc...
Scary really. - hehdot, on 11/18/2007, -0/+81Your post filled me with rage. I think I'm gonna go hit a pillow.
- inactive, on 11/18/2007, -1/+80I worked as a life guard back in 2003 and even when RESCUING A KID FROM DROWNING id get expressions like this from their parents!
- Double-Z, on 11/18/2007, -3/+81I don't care. I still help kids and injured people. It's sickening that people are scared to help each other.
I'm a registered first-aider. I have the good-samaritan act behind me here in the UK. I thought the US would have similar? - Ninnux, on 11/18/2007, -11/+83We did this to ourselves.
- jeffiek, on 11/18/2007, -2/+70Apparently you haven't gotten the memo. It's not the parents you need to be afraid of, it's the overzealous prosecutors. The courts don't protect you against them, instead they reward them with an unjust conviction.
TotaCarb provided this http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,190586,00.html Useful, informative. You might want to consider what happened to poor Fitzroy Barnaby ( I verified the story, link at the end)
I don't like the way this culture is becoming either. But it's up to you to protect yourself. No one else will. Keep on being helpful, just be careful.
The Sun Times link:
http://nl.newsbank.com/nl-search/we/Archives?p_pro ... - inactive, on 11/18/2007, -0/+65I'm married now, but while I was in college I part-timed at an afterschool day-care program for young children. Now, I'm male - and was informed by one of the other men working there that we had to watch how we played with the kids. They ranged from 5-12. I explained to him, calmly, that I appreciated how he felt and that he was looking after me - but bottom line, most kids are smart enough to know what's right and what's not. Now, there was one little girl who had a habit of getting a little bit too close to male employees. She was very young, I think around 7 or so. This same guy that informed me of watching how we played with the kids told me that she crawled into other boys laps and told them to "bounce her up and down". I thought this kind of behavior was INCREDIBLY peculiar - and so I would ask her a question every other day about why she did that. Eventually - she confided in me that her own step-father always told her to sit in his lap and he would bounce her up and down. She told me about a week later that he would make grunting noises while doing it. I informed the owner of the program about this, and child protective services was called. It was eventually discovered that this guy had been molesting his child. I was hesitant to say anything at first because I felt like this wasn't my problem - I wanted to walk away as well and not bother myself with the headache. However, I also didn't want to be implicated in anything - such as I had coerced her to tell me these things. That never happened, but it could have. Even in situations like this - always try to use your better judgment. I was willing to put myself out there to protect a child - it's no different when you should help one in danger.
- Monar87, on 11/18/2007, -1/+60I had a similar experience a couple of years ago. My mother was having a party and as I was leaving my room a little girl of about 4 or 5 came out of the bathroom (which is right across from my room) asking if I get could help her unbutton her pants. I told her to hold on as I went to get one of my mother's friends who was in the kitchen at the time to help her because there was no way I was going to help her take off her pants.
- t1nu, on 11/18/2007, -5/+62Am I the only one confused by "It’s too dangerous even to take a picture"?
Why would anyone want to take a picture of a crying child at the beach? - geekchic, on 11/18/2007, -1/+57In the UK, I would say that the judiciary are usually quite sensible on these issues.
It's the tabloid newspapers and their readers who cry wolf everytime they see a single man near a child now. - Paroparo, on 11/18/2007, -0/+51Unfortunately there's a chance that acting like that will get you branded for life as a sex offender. You're absolutely right and you wouldn't deserve it, which is exactly the problem here.
In case you didn't see this in an above comment: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,190586,00.html - inactive, on 11/18/2007, -2/+53Those were more likely expressions from parents stunned you jumped in for THEIR kid. When I lifeguarded half the times I took a kid I just rescued to their parents I wouldn't even get a "Thank you". Instead they would tell me "My kid can swim. He just looks like he's drowning!". Basically just making up excuses for their bad parenting.
- xTRUMANx, on 11/18/2007, -1/+49Dude, you've never been accused of nothing and it shows. You do know the media can also run with the story and start plastering your name and picture with the headline,'pervert on the loose'. This is what people are afraid of. The scary part is not being found guilty of anything, since innocent people do not fear that, the scary thing is being accused and being judged guilty till proven innocent.
America isn't turning into a guilty till proven innocent society, it is already one. I don't mean their justice system, I mean that's how everyone operates. - yotomote, on 11/18/2007, -2/+50What a sad place to live in where you cant help a child.
- 68024, on 11/18/2007, -1/+43It's different in the UK than in the US. People are a lot more paranoid and politically correct about these things here in the US (I lived in the UK for 4 years too so I can see the difference).
- bigt8dogg, on 11/18/2007, -5/+47You are one sick *****.
- TrickiWoo, on 11/18/2007, -1/+42Years ago, I was at the beach with my family. My dad and I went for a walk down the beach and we had seen a woman calling for her lost son. A little way down the beach my dad spotted a little kid playing alone and he knew it was the lost boy. He sent me over (a 12 year old girl) to ask his name and walk him back to his mom because he didn't want anyone think he was molesting the kid. He even hung back a little as I was walking the little boy back because he was so afraid of being accused of harming the little kid. This was almost 20 years ago. i don;t think things have changed that much, people are just more paranoid now.
- ButterBridge, on 11/18/2007, -5/+46Walk in the other direction?
"Is everything OK?"
"Where are your parents?"
"OK, just stay here while I call the authorities"
I'd feel much worse if something bad happened to a kid and I had walked away from them.
Now if you have some sort of criminal record, especially one that relates to sexual abuse and children, then yes, I'd steer clear (although I'd probably point out the crying child to someone just so they got attended to) - p51d007, on 11/18/2007, -3/+42A man gets castrated for "fooling around" with a 16 year old girl, BUT, a woman doing the same thing, if "pretty" enough has nothing done to her.......well, except for getting a call from Hugh Hefner to pose nude in Playboy.
Thank you very much......to the instant news cycle we live in, the perverts who take advantage of CHILDREN, to the politically correct world we live in, in which a INNOCENT hug can be mistaken for "child abuse" or some other PC crap.
Are there perverts in the world? You bet! Have the courts, prosecutors, child advocates & NEWS MEDIA gone overboard? You bet! - Darkhacker, on 11/18/2007, -1/+39After watching her leave the child alone for a second time, I would have called the police for negligence and use the tape as evidence.
- CrazyDave303, on 11/18/2007, -0/+38All this talk about guys should not be afraid, or no harm verbal asking if some one is safe is easy to say hypothetically. But when you get out in to the real world things can be different. For example I was down by the sea wall in my area and I saw a young kid running about very close to the edge, I stopped and looked about but there was no one area that even remotely look like they where with the kid. My first fear was the kid falling in to the ocean, he could have gone over in a second and it would have been easy for any one to miss it. At a distance I got the kids attention and asked him where his mommy was, asked the kid to point to his mommy, the kid did not really do any thing to indicate, so I asked again. I think I was talking at the kid for about a minute until his mother turned away from a group of people she was talking to, darts over to her kid and freaks out at me!
I know logical I did nothing wrong, but I was standing there being bitched out. Emotionally I was hurt, I only stopped because I related the kid to my sisters youngest and wonder how she'd feel if her little one got hurt. But I felt awkward before and I will be even more so next time I see a kid that may need help. I'm only human. - zarex, on 11/18/2007, -2/+38Bull *****. *I* had nothing to do with this climate of fear and paranoia, and I doubt many here did.
- MetalliTooL, on 11/18/2007, -1/+36I can just imagine you picking up the kid, and a split second later, Chris Hansen steps out from one of the isles and says "why don't you have a seat right over here."
- FleetAdmiral, on 11/18/2007, -1/+36What do you mean turning into a "guilty until proven innocent society"? We have been there since the mid -90's. I Also do think the political correctness has gone haywire. Hell, when has anything with politics gone right?! Apparently you've never been accused of being a child predator and facing some 30 years in prison if you call anyone a coward for not wanting to even risk the Guilty Until Proven Innocent. It's hard even for uniformed service people to do the right thing without being accused of doing wrong even for the most mundane thing as asking if we can help.
- nepawoods, on 11/18/2007, -2/+36"Did you ever considering that our judicial system has nothing to do with accusing/sending these people to jail, and their fate rests with a JURY OF THEIR PEERS."
That's how it should be, bit it's not how it is. The jury is given very strict instructions that they are to determine whether or not the accused performed a certain act. The jury may feel yes - he performed that act, but it was innocent, harmless, in fact beneficial, and the accused should rightly be considered a good Samaritan for having performed the act. But the instructions are clear: yes or no - did he or didn't he? Yes, he did. The judge may agree with all those other sentiments (good Samaritan, etc), but BY LAW, he committed a crime, and BY LAW, there is a minimum punishment. This happens all the time, and it is a corruption of the system.
Read up on jury nullification - juries originally were intended to have the right (and still have it, but they are now routinely lied to about it) to acquit not only because they believed the accused did not commit the act, but also because they believe that in a particular case the application of the law is unjust or unwarranted, or because they believe the applicable law is unjust in general. Today, everyone's hands are tied (well, not the juries, but they don't know it), and the system rewards prosecutions, whether for crimes or for good deeds. - TrickiWoo, on 11/18/2007, -2/+35Digged you down for calling my dad a molester. Project much?
- mlostracco, on 11/18/2007, -1/+32This kinda reminds me of that Noxema commercial that stations in the U.S. wouldn't play (it played here in Canada), because it showed a father putting Noxema cream on his son's back and people thought it seemed pedophilic. RIDICULOUS. Had it been the kid's mom, no problem. Child abuse is a very serious and alarmingly common problem, but it's this kind of bizarre culture that also creates so much of this irrational fear.
- MonarchWastxD, on 11/18/2007, -6/+36Umm, it's basic male behaviour what you did. Rule 1: No talking in the male bathrooms... no eye contact... NO COMMUNICATION.
- geodescent, on 11/18/2007, -2/+32Because you're a dirty child-molesting pervert who likes that sort of thing!
- nepawoods, on 11/18/2007, -1/+31"they get more money the more they prosecute."
And they have nothing to lose (they still gain, in fact), if they successfully prosecute someone who is innocent. - salinemist, on 11/18/2007, -1/+30Can't go to the bathroom alone at 8? You don't have kids.
- empraptor, on 11/18/2007, -2/+29If there is no one around but there is chance of someone coming by and seeing you helping, is it worth risking locked away for years upon years just to help a crying child? Who the hell knows why they're crying. Could be they just ate their pet worm and regret it.
And who knows I might be helping a pedophile get in contact with a child if I ask for someone else to help. There's supposedly less chance that a woman is a pedophile, so it's optimal to ask a woman I guess. But when it's not a woman? I need to get where I'm going. I don't have all day to watch over the child and helper. I don't really want to be liable for something I didn't do. No thanks. - bomkata, on 11/18/2007, -2/+29amen borther those types of parents should have there kids taken away.
- rockingrhino, on 11/18/2007, -1/+28In the US, there judiciary is often hamstrung by the law so if they could be sensible, they can't. And it doesn't help that the prosecutors "see sexual predators " everywhere. And they get more money the more they prosecute. Just like drug offenses.
- Corinthos, on 11/18/2007, -0/+26Most likely I would've been fired for that. At sears I was told once before if it doesn't concern the merchandise or an employee then I shouldn't do anything. I seen something first hand when I was training and a customer was spanking their child pretty hardcore. The guy training me said if a customer ask to call the cops then we'd let them do it but otherwise to stay out of it.
- inactive, on 11/18/2007, -1/+27When considering stopping to help someone by the roadside I examine what kind of person they are and whether or not they are likely to sue me.
- empraptor, on 11/18/2007, -1/+27I should mention also it's not just the thoughts of being jailed that irks me. I don't want to be perceived as being a pedophile by people, even if they are strangers. There's a huge social stigma that go along with such perceptions.
Best to just hope a woman who has time to spare comes by. - Jimbob200, on 11/18/2007, -2/+27The fox article posted below states that the man who drove past the toddler has (rightfully, according to the article) taken his share of the public's blame. I for one would not be ashamed. I wouldn't trade my life for that of a sex offender.
- gigasquid, on 11/18/2007, -2/+27What ugly societies we have created. And we are so proud of them. BS! Just because we're fed it doesn't mean we have to swallow it.
- Arramol, on 11/18/2007, -1/+26The problem is, even if the jury of your peers rules "not guilty," your reputation is often ruined anyway. We had a teacher at my high school who was accused of asking a student to perform a sexual act with him. Jury found him not guilty, but he still had to leave the district because of the reaction from the parents.
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