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Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On watch!

theonion.com — A truly inspirational story.

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  • Appox, on 11/27/2007, -3/+235One of their best, loved the kids reaction at the end, so subtle but perfect.
  • se7en11, on 11/27/2007, -56/+9Kudos to the boy who seemed to be pretty cool about the whole thing...well except for the wet t-shirt bit at then end. Don't think he much carried for that.
    • keitarofujiwara, on 11/27/2007, -9/+40"Fat...fat...fat...fat...fat..." Its The Onion. Its not real.
      • dorkino, on 11/27/2007, -0/+72The content may be made up, but the people are real. The kid is real and really sitting there, enduring comments about how fat he is.
        • Scienceisfun, on 11/27/2007, -16/+3Wait, so you don't think he's in on it?
          • noots, on 11/27/2007, -3/+41ofcourse he is in on it, but he can't escape the fact he is fat, and people are calling him on it.
          • dermarr5, on 11/28/2007, -1/+4But I am sure he is making enough money to bury/mask any emotional trauma by seeing a therapist.
        • homeagain1, on 11/28/2007, -8/+1The show was obviously edited and different scenes and audio put together. I don't think they said those things about him in his presence.
        • se7en11, on 11/28/2007, -2/+3Don't get why you get dugg up, but my comment got nailed down. Oh well...
      • raynar, on 11/27/2007, -8/+3man boobs
  • heyitsgarrett, on 11/27/2007, -4/+170Well, this brings back some memories.
    • BrapAllgood, on 11/27/2007, -0/+17I needed a noseplug, too. The shame....

      :)
    • dafragsta, on 11/27/2007, -3/+9I was always just so white and never took the time to put sunblock on. I wore the shirt too until I was probably 15.
      • Firehed, on 11/27/2007, -18/+3Yeah, because wearing a shirt while swimming helps you tan.
        • dafragsta, on 11/27/2007, -1/+25I wasn't looking to tan. I was looking to swim and not get burned.
      • srgtTarantula, on 11/29/2007, -0/+3Yeah, that was my excuse too.
    • Schmich, on 11/27/2007, -28/+1I'm not familiar with the show but it almost sounded as if they made fun of him at times.
      "Just a normal WHITE t-shirt but when it got WET it was like a protective shield...you were able to DISGUISE"
      He could have chosen another colour imo but anyways good for him that it works =) I have a younger brother who's been going down in weight from sporting now and I do all I can to encourage him.
      • aacase, on 11/27/2007, -0/+27You're joking right?
      • ray023, on 11/27/2007, -0/+38"...it almost sounded as if they made fun of him at times...."
        Really? Was it the "Floppy Breasts" remark or the wetting him with fire hose comment that tipped you off?
        Also, are you from Earth?
        • Pzycho, on 11/27/2007, -2/+20I, for one, welcome our new Schmich overlords.
          • srgtTarantula, on 11/29/2007, -0/+1Well I don't, it's time to revolt!
  • xero69, on 11/27/2007, -13/+194I hate to say it but.... at the rate we're plumping up here in the states soon the skinny kids will be the minority and the fatties will be "normal". Ugh.
    • MeThePeople, on 11/27/2007, -1/+74and the skinny kids will be stealing all your fat chicks
      • lukasmach, on 11/27/2007, -12/+1No, mostly only the male kids will be stealing their chicks.
    • zachshmack, on 11/27/2007, -1/+26It's already happened.
    • LastVisibleDog, on 11/27/2007, -1/+2Speak for yourself...
    • alphamerik, on 11/27/2007, -8/+2
      Agreed, this clip is outrageous - if his parents knew what they were doing they wouldn't have let him wear that shirt! We should be shaming and ridiculing those chubby little porkers. Just remember, 8-10 insults a day can shed 3 pounds a month!
      http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_ ...
    • bonedead, on 11/27/2007, -1/+16America, ***** yeah!
    • Godlike, on 11/28/2007, -1/+3Shrug, go pork up if you want, I went from almost 225 to around 170 in 10 months just by eating a whole hell of a lot less - and never suffered for the 'diet' (though I wouldn't call it that).

      Just stop eating for pleasure, enjoy food when it is meal time but stop using food like heroin.
    • atonement, on 11/28/2007, -0/+6All your fat are belong to US.
  • nlsk8ta, on 11/27/2007, -3/+63Omg. The onion... You got me.
  • arcooke, on 11/27/2007, -19/+6Well that was random..
  • Jadix, on 11/27/2007, -1/+172theonion always catches me off guard. I was like "what the hell?"
  • rugby4ward, on 11/27/2007, -5/+86Dude, I was that fat kid once.
    • TeamRocket, on 11/27/2007, -1/+74Sad to say, I still am that fat kid
    • bonedead, on 11/27/2007, -0/+16Dude I was that fat kid like twice!
    • daridave, on 11/27/2007, -1/+25I was the skinny kid, it wasn't much more fun. believe me...
      • Lane5slacker, on 11/27/2007, -1/+3True that...
      • I_am_so_smrt, on 11/28/2007, -0/+9err, was anyone pulling on your meaty man ***** when you were a kid? I think not. God this is depressing! I think I'll go eat some cookie dough and watch porn.
    • dclowd9901, on 11/28/2007, -1/+19Fat people online? No ***** way
    • gpd209, on 11/28/2007, -0/+13So here's the dilemma. If you don't wear the shirt, people not only make fun, but they act disgusted, offended that a fat person would show any flesh at all. The shirt doesn't hide your being fat, but it doesn't provoke nearly as intense a response.

      I was this kid only worse. I was so ashamed of my body that I wouldn't wear shorts even. For an entire summer, I swam in a t-shirt AND jeans. I loved swimming too much to stay away, but couldn't handle another fatso comment. I swear it made a difference in the way people treated me. I think they were just so confused by the sight that they commented on the jeans instead of my blubber. I felt more comfortable being a weirdo, which I had some control over, than a fatso, which I couldn't change.
      • TheTankengine, on 11/28/2007, -6/+2Well, you could have cut down on the unhealthy foods and stepped up the exercise a tad.

        Seriously America, it's time we start taking responsibility for ourselves.
        • ScottMitchell, on 11/28/2007, -0/+7I am all for personal responsibility, but it can be difficult for, say, a 10 year old child to have the mental maturity to make such a decision. Doubly so if he or she has parents that are serving unhealthy foods down their throats or making them feel guilty if they try to exercise or eat less.
        • AceLy, on 12/01/2007, -0/+3Yes, I've seen parents who feed their children junk food daily and when the children starts to exercise, the parents tell them they are too young to worry about that. The parents are also fat.
      • Easyoffbam, on 11/28/2007, -1/+3Jeans? I'm surprised you could swim!
  • spidermanspants, on 11/27/2007, -2/+128oh god it's freshman year P.E all over again
    • bonedead, on 11/27/2007, -0/+20I never got to swim in friggin P.E. :(
      • spudnic, on 11/28/2007, -1/+4Half the pool spill out when you got in? Damn yoooouuu Archimedes!
  • philipkaplan, on 11/27/2007, -16/+6Why is it that the Onion is as funny as hell for the first 10 seconds but then it always trails off into totally don't careitude land.
  • Icecream, on 11/27/2007, -113/+11Seriously? Was this actually on television in America? This was a joke rite? That poor kid. What crappy programing.
    • BornWithRage, on 11/27/2007, -0/+53dude, help yourself.
      www.theonion.com
    • heyitsgarrett, on 11/27/2007, -1/+22Parody.
    • masterdieff, on 11/27/2007, -0/+7It is only the presence of fakers and liars on the internet that prevented me from laughing my ass off at that.
    • ShootTheCore, on 11/27/2007, -1/+4Yes it is a joke
    • grenden, on 11/27/2007, -0/+24The Onion dupes another one. For shame.
    • khail250, on 11/27/2007, -1/+27its the same as fox news, nothing is real on it
    • jmpeagle, on 11/27/2007, -1/+3I had to digg you because you made me laugh
    • moskaudancer, on 11/28/2007, -2/+3You, sir, are a moran.
  • spidermanspants, on 11/27/2007, -26/+4oh god, it's freshman year P.E all over again
    • philipkaplan, on 11/27/2007, -4/+14Haha, you're fat!
    • soot, on 11/27/2007, -3/+11Haha, fatty. Go eat some cake.
      • itsthebrod, on 11/27/2007, -3/+33Making fun of a fat person on Digg is akin to making fun of a retarded person at the Special Olympics.
        • xaviel, on 11/28/2007, -2/+2Dude, the people at the special Olympics are HANDICAPPED not retarded.
        • I_am_so_smrt, on 11/28/2007, -1/+1Yeah and I'm not fat, just big boned.
      • iChainsaw, on 11/28/2007, -1/+5have you tried it? i heard it is delicious and moist.
    • mattcoady, on 11/27/2007, -4/+5Did they call you names? Like Porky, Hog, Fatass, Double Wide, Butterball... those sorts of things?
  • Bonz0, on 11/27/2007, -23/+6Anyone that would make fun the kid with his shirt off would be a complete ass hole, which is worse than being fat IMO
    • tweetsa, on 11/28/2007, -3/+1no, being fat is way worse than being an *****
      • I_am_so_smrt, on 11/28/2007, -2/+2No, being fat is an advantage over some skinny *****, whose main idea of entertainment is to poke fun at the fat kid in the swimming pool.
  • seanhive, on 11/27/2007, -1/+20Brian Peete, I salute you.
  • Lezlee798, on 11/27/2007, -33/+1So, he puts his shirt on to avert ridicule, and the presenters come up with many puns about his weight?
    • nerdherder, on 11/27/2007, -0/+14Its not real. Its The Onion.
    • feoren, on 11/27/2007, -0/+12You got the joke, hooray! Someone give this man a cookie.
    • Lezlee798, on 11/27/2007, -1/+14Whoops! Damn, now I feel like an idiot!
  • shepp, on 11/27/2007, -0/+37the look on his face at the end. classic
  • wilem, on 11/27/2007, -1/+144I've been doing this for 20 years. If I wear arm floaty things then you cannot see my third chin. All fatties know these secrets. It is a shame that The Onion had to do a report about this because now the secret is out and people will start to spot us more often.
    • CornmealMush, on 11/27/2007, -3/+88pssttt! Us skinny people have actually known all along. Don't worry, we'll keep playing it off =)
      • bonedead, on 11/27/2007, -1/+14Yeah we fatties can't wait to ***** kill you assholes.
        • kurejibitch, on 11/28/2007, -0/+6...this thread is the hardest I've laughed on digg today, bar none. Diggs to all for a comedic job well done.
        • Easyoffbam, on 11/28/2007, -0/+6You'll have to catch us first.
    • Fatcheeseguy, on 11/27/2007, -2/+3"Discovery Help Fat Asses Everywhere"
  • ghamal, on 11/27/2007, -10/+4video does not load...
    • JIMBOB7813, on 11/27/2007, -4/+5Affirmative
    • domness, on 11/27/2007, -3/+0Hmm, seems to work for me.
    • bashnu, on 11/27/2007, -10/+1updateyour video codecs or use downloadhelper extension
    • coit, on 11/27/2007, -3/+12You gotta turn AdBlock off to get it to work. It is trying to load an ad first, and it is being blocked it would seem.
    • I_am_so_smrt, on 11/28/2007, -0/+1You have to eat a stick of butter to watch it.
  • domness, on 11/27/2007, -5/+4Haha, it sure made me laugh how the news reader came out with the other words for fat people.. and the boys face at the end! :o
    • philipkaplan, on 11/27/2007, -3/+2Other words bit was stolen from South Park.
  • LastVisibleDog, on 11/27/2007, -21/+7The Onion is starting to push their shtick to the realm of non-funny. Way too long of a bit with a very small payoff.
    • joebaloney, on 11/27/2007, -0/+3Apparently you never "used to" read the onion. That's what the onion does and has always done.
      • senatorpjt, on 11/28/2007, -0/+1I used to read the onion, but I could always skim the article for the funny parts. Can't do that with a video.
  • tehdave, on 11/27/2007, -1/+23Theres no shirts allowed in my pool
    • billbillbilly, on 11/27/2007, -0/+43yeah i dont allow any kind of top in mine
    • breezytrees, on 11/27/2007, -8/+0What's brian going to do when he's there?????
    • moskaudancer, on 11/28/2007, -1/+1Yeah, shirts have been known to transmit AIDS. Always gotta watch out for that.
  • nerdherder, on 11/27/2007, -2/+58... and a pair of floppy breasts.

    Thats one of the funniest things I have heard in quite some time.
  • bennovw, on 11/27/2007, -26/+1I don't mean to be a prick but I don't get what is so inspirational about this...It would be much better if people would just eat healthier. The face he made when the broadcaster mentioned a fire hose was epic!
  • gak001, on 11/27/2007, -10/+3So much potential and yet... so lame.
  • soot, on 11/27/2007, -1/+208"Porker"
    "Fatass"
    "Floppy breasts"

    What did they pay this kid to go along with this?
    • MacEnvy, on 11/27/2007, -1/+207Probably something delicious. I'm guessing corn dogs and ice cream.
    • supertom, on 11/27/2007, -1/+13Pies
    • Braingoo, on 11/27/2007, -11/+43Cake but it was a lie.
      • Lane5slacker, on 11/27/2007, -5/+9Damned cake is always a lie...
      • saucedmike, on 11/28/2007, -0/+4No! it wasn't a lie!
        and the weighted companion cube is still alive i say!
        • 1nsane, on 11/28/2007, -0/+0It's not a lie! I proved it! Posted pics of me, the companion cube and the cake eating THE CAKE.
          Yes we had fun.
    • TheDefiant, on 11/28/2007, -0/+1Twinkies of course.
    • Zybergod, on 11/28/2007, -3/+3I'm wondering about the parents. If I were watching the interview there is no way I would let it continue.
  • MasT3r, on 11/27/2007, -5/+20lol omg did anyone notice his face when the guy said he was going outside and get himself wet with the water hoe...im sure he was like "You gotta be ***** me"
  • SimonSezz, on 11/27/2007, -9/+2LOL
  • nutsackninja, on 11/27/2007, -11/+6You think the kid was in on it? Didn't seem like he was acting at all.
    • coit, on 11/27/2007, -3/+16This was likely done as on the Daily Show, where they are saying something completely different to him in the shots where they are showing the boy, the dub in different audio later. Also later, they shoot the news anchors face on saying stuff when the boy is not there.
  • MaxMWood, on 11/27/2007, -15/+10Jees, they are quite mean to him. If I was him id wrestle the guy with gray hair to the floor and slap him with my "apparent floppy breasts" Now that really would be wonderfull you bastard.
    • ryankeefe, on 11/28/2007, -0/+1you're aware that this is a joke...right?
  • Dwcm, on 11/27/2007, -10/+0slow news day
  • matthewrex, on 11/27/2007, -2/+106Being a fat kid myself, I can vouch that wearing a t-shirt while swimming definitely makes you look 60% less fat. Its science.
    • tahcoboy, on 11/27/2007, -1/+14I'd like to see the research behind this logic mister
    • el_taco, on 11/27/2007, -2/+37when will you learn that 83.2% of all statistics are made up.
      • revenz, on 11/27/2007, -1/+32and the other 64.6% are just a load of bull
        • novask, on 11/28/2007, -1/+11Which brings us to the remaining 78.2% which are nothing but facts.
        • LostnTransition, on 11/28/2007, -7/+2And what do you have left after all those %'s?

          The Bush supporters.
    • Anthem26, on 11/28/2007, -2/+5that only works with black t-shirts with vertical stripes.
    • Brad324, on 11/28/2007, -0/+13it's not that we don't know how fat you are... we're just grateful we don't have to observe it directly.
  • KingBunny, on 11/27/2007, -0/+42I went down to the bottom to see the post where someone thought this was real, and found it..
    ..4 times.
  • dvdchris, on 11/27/2007, -2/+19I used to do this. But really it draws more attention to you. Less people are critically looking at you than you think. Just take your shirt off.
    • senatorpjt, on 11/28/2007, -0/+4I used to do this too. I've since learned that the best solution is just to not go swimming. I just sit in a chair and watch other people.

      The last time I was at the beach, there weren't any particularly good looking people there, so I ended up watching some comically fat kid running around with his shirt off and trying not to laugh.
  • derder89, on 11/27/2007, -25/+1Im skinny and not out of shape so I dont "get" this video!
  • likeabluespider, on 11/27/2007, -0/+7True this does bring back memories :)
    Sadly here if you wear a shirt they just call you fat, because only fat ppl wear shirts in the pool..so shield my ass
  • tahcoboy, on 11/27/2007, -0/+21Oh man at the pool I lifeguard at we don't allow people to wear shirts while swimming, I feel bad telling obese people to take their protective layer off.
    • AntidoteSqrd, on 11/28/2007, -0/+8I've seen this rule in several places. What if you had someone who was more sensitive to the sun than other people? What is the management afraid of?
      • phatvolvo, on 11/28/2007, -0/+9sneaky fat people...
      • AceLy, on 12/01/2007, -0/+2I always wear a shirt to the pool. My skin breaks out in hives in the sun without sunblock. But even with sunblock, I still get hives now and then and the shirt helps.
    • vinecrawler, on 11/28/2007, -0/+3drowning fat people...
  • mlvassallo, on 11/27/2007, -1/+3It isn't the flab as much as the pasty white that I am always afraid of... I just tend to stay away from pools...
  • lbrown13, on 11/27/2007, -13/+3Granted, this may be a joke. But I am sure that kid endures lots of ridicule on a daily basis.
    It won't be funny when he is firing a gun into a classroom full of kids.
  • thadrine, on 11/27/2007, -13/+6Am I the only one that thinks these people were being total A holes to this kid?
    • Gwyddyon, on 11/27/2007, -1/+4No, I agree. The Onion will never win a Pulitzer with that kind of attitude./sarcasm
  • harris2004, on 11/27/2007, -1/+8fat little boy's fat little discovery - the reporter made me laugh
  • o0adam0o, on 11/27/2007, -2/+39Well if it isnt Booby Hill.
  • MikeonTV, on 11/27/2007, -2/+1Crash and Burn!
  • theRG, on 11/27/2007, -14/+66My friend Sarah didn't like it. =(
    Ryan: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/fat_kid_succ ...
    Sarah: thats not right
    Ryan: hahah
    Sarah: ...right
    Ryan: please
    Ryan: its a joke
    Sarah: yeah well
    Sarah: youre not fat
    Ryan: the kid was fat and agreed to do it
    Sarah: yeah publicity is a dignified reason
    Sarah: righto
    Sarah: its like, hey this is a situation out of someones control that probably has brought them a plethora of hurt already
    Sarah: FUNNY
    Ryan: wow
    Ryan: it's actually a good news story
    Ryan: others will learn to keep their shirts on at the pool thus avoiding ridicule
    Sarah: ....
    Sarah: youre a ***** piece of *****
    Sarah: i hope you have horribly obese children
    Sarah: honesstly
    Sarah: so your kid has to wear their shirt at the pool so they dont come home in tears because people laugh at them
    Sarah: you have no idea how differently people are precieved simply based on that
    • ewsherm, on 11/27/2007, -2/+74Sarah = mom
    • Nerfdude, on 11/27/2007, -1/+86Adam: i could use a handjob
      Sarah: k
      Sarah: my friend ryan is a piece of *****, can i take out some anger by wearing a lot of rings
      Adam: whatever
    • Gwyddyon, on 11/27/2007, -1/+35You should probably try to console her and make sure she's not still mad at you. Might I suggest three extra large buckets of popcorn and a Big Gulp of melted chocolate. It'll work like a charm.
      • grantmoore3d, on 11/27/2007, -2/+3But if you do this method too often, she might have to wear a shirt at the pool..
    • bonedead, on 11/27/2007, -5/+52Reason #65 why women don't belong on the internet.
    • danwallace, on 11/27/2007, -3/+23Sarah's a bitch.
    • tcpip4lyfe, on 11/27/2007, -2/+59Why is she chatting on the internet and not in the kitchen making dinner?
    • TheDom730, on 11/27/2007, -7/+6"Ryan: wow
      Ryan: it's actually a good news story
      Ryan: others will learn to keep their shirts on at the pool thus avoiding ridicule
      Sarah: ...."

      lmaaoooooo
    • zeroflake, on 11/28/2007, -0/+9I love sarah, i wish i knew her.
      • LostnTransition, on 11/28/2007, -3/+1If your kidding I'm digging you up. If your serious I'm burying you. lol
        • wordglue, on 11/28/2007, -0/+4sounds like a philosophical dilemma
        • LostnTransition, on 11/28/2007, -1/+2I dugg him up.... I have faith.
      • gpd209, on 11/28/2007, -3/+3Thanks to Sarah for speaking up, and to Ryan for sharing it.
        The fact that comments flaming Sarah are among the more highly dugg here says something very sad about our culture.
    • LostnTransition, on 11/28/2007, -1/+10Man sarah sounds hot. I wonder how many X's come before the L in HER shirt size.
    • Zybergod, on 11/28/2007, -1/+12Sarah needs to get laid.. and stuff.


      (pick a fold and go?)
    • grenden, on 11/28/2007, -0/+2I see a future bash.org quote.
  • xSEED, on 11/27/2007, -4/+27i was the fat kid in high school. now i'm not and most everyone else is. they are so pwnd
  • peaceofwar, on 11/27/2007, -6/+1and i almost thought this was real tell the dude started calling him a fat ass
  • ivan2540, on 11/27/2007, -8/+5That kid was on MADE on MTV. it is real. He is also gay (not as derogatory, he is actually a homosexual, and "came out" at the beginning of his 10th grade). His goal was to be made into a soccer player. I never did see the end of that episode.
    • Xorsist, on 11/27/2007, -5/+6wow youre ***** retarded.
      • LostnTransition, on 11/28/2007, -2/+1And you are a king size bucket of douche.
    • byrdgang, on 11/28/2007, -0/+1I've never seen someone that young on MADE.
  • drastik21, on 11/27/2007, -3/+14All I can say is ( Hank Hill voice) BoBBBy
    • fate3, on 11/28/2007, -1/+1omg you're right!
    • Menoats, on 11/29/2007, -0/+1Damn you're completely right! If they ever make a King Of The Hill this kid is perfect for the role of Bobby.
  • mashw, on 11/27/2007, -9/+3I don't think that kid is old enough to really give knowing consent for this, he looked real uncomfortable and not really sure, as if he didn't want to interrupt the 'adults' doing their thing.

    No, I am not fat.
  • airmaster, on 11/27/2007, -6/+6It's not like this is a live broadcast...could the broad be a LITTLE less bound to her freakin cue cards?!?!
    • Bamborzled, on 11/28/2007, -0/+12That may have been intentional, as the Onion's way of mocking the stereotypical female morning show host.
  • arenahotsauce, on 11/27/2007, -1/+2BOBBY HILL!
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