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33 Comments
- WeedCollege, on 10/23/2009, -2/+13McDonaldland was a strange place for me as a kid. I was afraid of clowns and worried that I'd run into Ronald after he'd been drinking shakes all night, throwing up in the happy meal boxes and stumbling around, asking why all the chairs were rotating. I assumed those McDonaldland characters would be like my parents and their friends, the night would end after Mayor McCheese bit off Officer Big Mac's face and then tumbled down a ravine into a creek. That was especially scary, since I wasn't allowed to get wet back then either.
- saxxymama, on 10/23/2009, -0/+9Was Grimace male or female?
- txcrew, on 10/23/2009, -0/+6Never mind the gender, what the hell was Grimace?
- badqat, on 10/23/2009, -0/+6Grimace was male, I do believe.
But that still doesn't tell us what the hell he was. - dubhilton, on 10/23/2009, -0/+5WTF. Grimace has 4 arms in the second vid.
- SirBruce, on 10/23/2009, -1/+5Can't sleep... clown will eat me.
- mkriss5681, on 10/23/2009, -0/+4I feel bad for kids today. All the awesome McDonalds playgrounds are almost gone. Many of them here in the Baltimore have been converted to videogame stations.
- EvilGrouse, on 10/23/2009, -0/+4NOTHING CAN KILL THE GRIMACE.
- protogenxl, on 10/23/2009, -0/+4Will this administration ever bring the Hamburglar to justice?!
- badqat, on 10/23/2009, -2/+6lol...do you wanna know how bad I was jonesing for the clown when we came back from Europe in the late '70s? First f'kin' thing I got was a McDonalds cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate shake. Of course, all washed down with a Coke.
We had some trippy commercials back then as well. Hey, that's what this is about! - BoneStamp, on 10/23/2009, -1/+4We used to do orange drink when I was that age, but the stuff they have now is way more potent.
- inactive, on 10/23/2009, -0/+3Grimace is Ronald McDonald's retarded friend, Lois
- mongoh8fire, on 10/23/2009, -0/+3Those commercials were creepy. Michael Jackson-Neverland Ranch creepy.
- junaeroplane, on 10/23/2009, -0/+3wow this blog is actually really awesome!
- mattmeow, on 10/23/2009, -0/+2From wikipedia: "Grimace is an anthropomorphic purple tastebud. Initially, Grimace was the "Evil Grimace", with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes. After that first campaign, the character was revised to be one of the "good guys", and his number of arms was reduced by two. "
Weird... - Kronos6948, on 10/23/2009, -0/+2That ***** tree still creeps me out.
- inactive, on 10/23/2009, -0/+2McDonaldlands fries used to be awesome until the vile vegitards complained about the beef flavoring.
- Jowsley, on 10/23/2009, -1/+2It was a direct rip off of the kid's show "H. R. Pufnstuf" McDonalds were sued for infringement and lost.
- Sherman901, on 10/23/2009, -0/+1Sick. You washed down a chocolate shake with a Coke?
- junaeroplane, on 10/23/2009, -0/+1i thought he was a drop of purple shake?
- evergrim, on 10/24/2009, -0/+1Why are people voting this down?
A for effort. - Kronos6948, on 10/23/2009, -0/+1No coke. No shakes.
- Killingintexas, on 10/23/2009, -0/+1I remember in ther late 70's Mcdonalds has a sponsorship with the d/fw Six Flags and there was this weird trippy indoor circular spin ride that featured the Mkd's characters it kinda reminded me of the boat trip in willie wonka ...it was over near where they put judge roy scream.
- aquapete, on 10/23/2009, -1/+2hey guys.. moonman here ;)
- allisonaxe, on 10/23/2009, -0/+1He's a giant purple buttplug.
- Hero0fTime, on 10/23/2009, -0/+1Officer Big Mac's creepy playground:
http://www.frqnc.com/officerbigmac.jpg - evergrim, on 10/24/2009, -0/+1Ronald Macdonald is scary.
- Hero0fTime, on 10/23/2009, -0/+1http://digg.com/d3jQpT
- nigelsan, on 10/23/2009, -0/+1yeah when they started staying open late...wow....good times.
- CassiBruce, on 10/23/2009, -1/+1Birdie was a real victim of rape... unlike Megan Williams.
- TomT127, on 10/23/2009, -0/+0Wait. McDonaldland is not real? Tell me it ain't so.
- jameszol, on 10/23/2009, -5/+5cool story bro
- FinalStriker, on 10/23/2009, -4/+2Today's children's programing is not much better
Pulled off a forum can't remember where or when
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Lazy Town is a Post Apocalyptic Wasteland!
I've been watching Lazy Town for some time now. I can't help it, it's the only thing on aside from news before Gillian goes to work. Doesn't matter, because it's a very fun show that unlike most children's shows I do not despise. But I was talking to Wyatt and he mentioned he was replaying the game Fallout, and that reminded me of a theory in the back of my mind. I think Lazy Town actually takes place in a delusional post-apocalyptic world where all the main characters are suffering from some kind of radiation poisoning. While it's possible to argue anything about anything these days (and people online often do) I think it's amusing just how well this view holds up.
Please note I say "some kind of radiation poisoning" because my theory also allows for the fact that something other than traditional nukes were used. Allow me that much leeway.
First of all, let's look at the survivors...er I mean cast. In the town of Lazy Town (which appears from the air to have between 50 and 100 houses in it) there is a grand total of SEVEN permanent residents. That's it. Seven. Nine, if you include Stephanie and Sporticus, but she's visiting and he might be a figment of their imagination. That's a whole other topic. There are three adults - Mayor Meanswell, Miss Busybody, and Robbie Rotten. The others are all children - Ziggy, Trixy, Stingy, and Pixel. None of the kids have parents. NONE. They're never even mentioned. I suspect they all died while the children were to remember them, leaving the Mayor and Meanswell to indirectly raise them.
Let's look at the town itself - not a single straight line to be found anywhere. Everything is curved, sloped and twisted like a caricature. Surely it's all been warped by some strange kind of fallout, the same kind that has affected everyone's minds to think they live in an idylic pastureland instead of a desolate wasteland (see below).
The people themselves are obviously no longer quite human, they're much shorter than regular humans, are all plasticy and puppet like. This must be another affect of the fallout. The only ones still truly human looking are Stephanie (but she has pink hair so she must be mutating), Sportacus (who lives in an airship far away from fallout zones, and who might not even exist) and Robbie Rotten (who lives in a deep underground bomb shelter)
There are other little things that raise my suspicion. Pixel, the local computer geek, lives alone in a house with a HUGE satellite dish, dozens of computer displays, security cameras, you name it. He's constantly playing video games fighting off wave after wave of invasions. Everything about this says "military grade" to me. I think Pixel may in fact be Lazy Towns last line of defense against mutant invasions. The games he supposedly plays probably link to robots, connected via satellite via his giant satellite dish, fighting off the ever growing army of brain dead hungry mutants inching ever closer to Lazy Town. Pixel might not even be aware of his vital role in Lazy Town's defense. Before his dad died (where is he after all?) he might have taught him how to use all the equipment by making it into a game for him.
How do we know there are barren wastelands out there? After all, we see only green fields and rows of trees in aerial views of the town. I put it to you that this is how the residents imagine it, but is not how it really is. This is supported in one episode where the Mayor makes a call out of town, trying to call Elvis on the phone (though called Johnny B Bad, it's clearly Elvis, and given that Elvis is thirty odd years dead, this only proves his mental deterioration). As he calls we see the phone call being sent out along endless length of telephone wire, through a cracked and dry desert, where Robbie intercepts it and pretends to be the singer. I suggest that this is how things really are. Robbie alone sees the reality of things, but when others are around we must view the world through their rose tinted radiation soaked glasses.
Now, this leads me to a complete re-think what is going on in Lazy Town. I believe that Robbie Rotten is, in fact, the tragic hero. Safe, secure, and relatively mutation free (his jaw is a bit warped), he's biding his time in his fallout shelter with machines that can make just about anything, waiting for a time where he can properly resurface and begin the reconstruction of mankind. In order to do this he needs to have the other survivors stay indoors as often as possible to minimize their exposure. He doesn't want them to come down into the shelter as well because, well, they're all frickin nuts. Who can blame him?
He needs Pixel to stay above to man the military hardware and keep the town from being overrun. Stingy is clearly the only one left who has any sense of monetary value, so he'll be needed to rebuild the economy. Trixy... well she's just a breeder, I'm sorry to say. And Ziggy? Well some moron has to do all the manual labor Robbie's machines can't do. The two other adults are in the twilight of their lives and won't live to see humanity rebuilt. Their purpose is to keep the children alive to create the next generation.
Robbie's plan starts out working fine. In the first episode everyone stays indoors, exposed to as little radiation as possible. Pixel is manning the defense stations from his home, Stingy is working out theories of economics... then there is a problem. An outsider arrives. She claims to be Mayor Meanswell's niece, but his brain is so fried she could have used any cover story. She seems human enough, but her pink hair is suspicious. And almost the first thing that she does is try to get the kids outside where it's still not safe to stay for long periods of time! Humanity could die out before it even has a chance to rebuild, and Robbie is not going to let that happen. He knows the children's weaknesses and manages to manipulate them like puppets back inside. He could just get rid of Stephanie, but then, she is another potential breeder and less mutated than Trixy. Better to keep her there and try to get things back the way they were.
Unfortunately, she contacts Sportacus, who arrives in his giant high-tech airship and from that point on helps encourage the residents of Lazy Town to get outside and enjoy a slow painful irradiated death.
Thing is, I'm not convinced Sportacus even exists. Oh the airship exists, Robbie's been in it. But I think it's a relic of the last great war. Perhaps even connected in with Pixel's software. Part of me believes that Sportacus is a shared delusion as the residents of Lazy Town lose their minds thanks to Stephanie's meddling. He's just too perfect, after all. I can just imagine them running around delusional, thinking Sporticus is there saving them when no one at all is there, while Robbie desperately tries to get them back indoors where it's relatively safe, putting his own life at risk for the sake of the humanity's future.
Another possibility is that Sportacus does exist, but is in fact a robot, part of the remaining post-apocalyptic defense network gone slightly haywire. After all, he has a crystal on him that lets him know when people are in trouble, and his primary function appears to be to help people. It would also explain his superhuman reflexes and agility. But something must be wrong if he doesn't realize the radiation levels aren't low enough yet to allow people to go outside. His programing has malfunctioned, and it seems unlikely to ever be fixed.
And so we have a tragedy being played out. The interloper Stephanie, whose true motives we never fully understand, has brought about the slow but inevitable destruction of humanity. Either through contaminating the already dubious genetic stock of the survivors through radiation exposure, or by having the city overrun by an army of mutants once Pixel slacks off his duties enough. It may be she was sent by the mutants for that express reason. Robbie tries to do what he can with everything at his disposal, but because of a malfunctioning defense robot (or because the survivors brains are just too fried to distinguish fantasy and reality) he is doomed to failure.
The final conclusion is inescapable: I watch too much goddamn Lazy Town.
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