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The 9 Most Baffling Theme Parks From Around the World

cracked.com — Can you judge an entire culture by their amusement parks? Yes. Yes you can.

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  • shaneesu, on 02/27/2008, -14/+4hilarious!
    • ElBeh, on 02/27/2008, -0/+3This is Cracked. No need to be redundant.
    • undersky, on 02/27/2008, -2/+4incorrect description on the site. they didn't hire some japanese girl to speak english. she was speaking japanese. many japanese words were borrowed from english.
    • undersky, on 02/27/2008, -6/+1incorrect description on the site. they didn't hire some japanese girl to speak english. she was speaking japanese. many japanese words were borrowed from english.
    • undersky, on 02/27/2008, -6/+1incorrect description on the site. they didn't hire some japanese girl to speak english. she was speaking japanese. many japanese words were borrowed from english.
  • cmuwriter, on 02/27/2008, -1/+53I don't know, I could actually see myself taking my 4-year-old nephew to Diggerland, he'd freaking love it.
    • ghm101, on 02/27/2008, -0/+7I did take my 4 and 5 year old girls to digger land and they did love it.
      Digging a hole with a JCB is actually fun.
    • cr3ative, on 02/27/2008, -0/+10I've actually been there. It's great fun, but the place was falling apart.

      We went on the bouncy castle and it deflated around us. :(

      I'm 19. Don't judge me. I like bouncing.
    • MrCrispyChicken, on 02/27/2008, -0/+2I worked at diggerland. 'nuff said.
  • NeoCortex, on 02/27/2008, -2/+109Gee, I wonder why Cracked decided to lead off with "Diggerland"?
    • Zarokima, on 02/27/2008, -0/+4To its credit, it certainly deserves a place on the list -- more so than Grutas Park, in my opinion.
    • TheTaint, on 02/27/2008, -3/+1You gotta give props to Digg considering it's the sole reason why Cracked is mildly popular.
    • stackered, on 02/27/2008, -1/+1Should be called "Degro"land
      to be proper
  • goodjock, on 02/27/2008, -9/+1im so wanted to go to the sex park
    • BossKey, on 02/27/2008, -0/+3And they have been waiting for you to come.
      • ronaldinho, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1that's what the bushes are for, though I will suggest that to my girlfriend as a place to go in Korea......
    • codered1322, on 02/27/2008, -0/+3I dunno whether to digg you down based on grammar or creepiness.
  • dinobot, on 02/27/2008, -5/+50I love the Stalin park, its probably the best place to crack those 'In Soviet Rusia' jokes

    Oh yeah, In Soviet Rusia, The Stalin Amusement Park visits you!
    • BTConan, on 02/27/2008, -0/+9That'd actually be pretty great, because right now, I am sitting on my ass with no intent on moving.
    • sonicjosh, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1I lol'ed. Thats the most I have laughed all week.
      Here it comes, the digging down because I pointed out something obvious, but I thought it was over the top.
  • Syphon8, on 02/27/2008, -0/+19Dugg for digger land.
    • KMye, on 02/27/2008, -0/+2***** yeah. I got to start a trench with a good-sized excavator (big backhoe) on a mine site when I was an elementary school. 8 year old's wet dream. I would lay down £13.5 without hesitation to ***** around with one of those again.
  • oreonblade, on 02/27/2008, -1/+43That is the worst looking Goomba I've ever seen.
    • zplot, on 02/27/2008, -1/+2Nintendo park is still a work in progress, so give them some time to perfect all the details. I seriously can't wait to to jump on those Goombas when this park is ready, though. I hate those angry little bastards.
  • dunnylovehun, on 02/27/2008, -1/+3The Mario Park had such potential too. One of those things that sounds like an awesome idea until you're bouncing up and down on your awkward set of oversize bungee suspenders waving your big pointless fake hands around.
    • justindrake, on 02/27/2008, -0/+0Yeah i liked the idea when i read the title, maybe if it was made with a bigger budget than a couple of guys in their garage it would work.
  • silentphoenix, on 02/27/2008, -0/+19how could people NOT see that the shijingshan amusement park is one big rip off
    • rovsky, on 02/27/2008, -7/+0because they dont know what brands are in china, and frankly they dont care for them....yet, that is all changing as they are "modernizing"
    • BossKey, on 02/27/2008, -2/+14Gee, I don't know, it's as if they've been...cut off from much of the West's media for decades, or something. Go figure.
    • FluffyWolf, on 02/27/2008, -4/+1Probably in the same way people fail to see Disney Studios constantly doing rip offs. (Well, not always, but they very frequently are)
    • xedicate, on 02/27/2008, -1/+2I don't think anyone actually buys that "It's a CAT! And we are basing the characters from the Grimm's Fairy Tales!" spiel.
      People probably go there anyway coz their kids somehow wanna see people dressed as strange cartoon characters and they don't care if Disney gets paid for it, can't say I blame them.
      Plus the entrance fees for that place is RMB 20 (USD 3), where as the nearest Disneyland is a 3 hours flight away and ~USD 40 entrance.
    • fxu1989, on 02/27/2008, -0/+4Oh come on ... are you blind ?! ... get some glasses.

      There's absolutely nothing that resembles Disneyland!
    • justindrake, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1i wonder if they've managed to replicate the amazing queuing experience of Disneyland, it just wouldn't be the same if you didn't have to wait an hour to do anything. I love it really tho.
  • silentphoenix, on 02/27/2008, -1/+4and oh, because shrek is TOTALLY from grimm's fairy tales
    • dualityim, on 02/27/2008, -0/+7To be fair, Shrek is not Disney either.
    • ronaldinho, on 02/27/2008, -0/+4And to be fair, the Chinese doesn't copy only Disney, they copy everything and anything.
  • centran, on 02/27/2008, -2/+13Diggerland is awesome. Not because of "digg" but because of the video of "dancing" excavators.
    I thought it would be pretty lame from the description but that is actually kind of bad-ass.
    • ieatsmurfs, on 02/27/2008, -0/+2And has an awesome jingle to boot!
    • PJNowak1213, on 02/27/2008, -0/+0The dancing digger are JCB dancing digger and the video that they showed was from a Con Expo in Las Vegas. It has nothing to do with the park.
    • SpaceMonkeyZero, on 02/27/2008, -1/+3Things that Dance:
      _ I G G E R S
  • bowserkid, on 02/27/2008, -0/+15I think the Charles Dickens amusement park is insanely cool.

    /nerd
  • thebellmaster1x, on 02/27/2008, -1/+21Personally, the most baffling theme parks I've ever seen were the ones I would make in Roller Coaster Tycoon that had roller coaster tracks suddenly end, making the cars smash into a wall. The baffling part was that people would still come.
    • JulyZerg, on 02/27/2008, -1/+3I did that too - very disturbing how stupid those people are!
    • Hoogs, on 02/27/2008, -0/+2Only fun thing about that game.
  • hansk, on 02/27/2008, -1/+22dugg for giant cow titties
  • trackersNZ, on 02/27/2008, -0/+30http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/12275

    ...
  • wontstoptalking, on 02/27/2008, -9/+2No Disney World?
    • kalrhael, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1Naaah Disneyland tends to be the staple of theme parks, nothings really baffling about it.
  • spineaches, on 02/27/2008, -2/+2bah.. dugg, but only for the bit about the simulation ocean built right next to a real ocean. oh and well also the mouse puking in the 2nsd to last pic. wtf.
    • ronaldinho, on 02/27/2008, -0/+2The ocean dome WAS really stupid......the real thing is only 1000 feet away! Build it in a desert or something.
      • akamia123, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1I actually saw a program about the Ocean Dome and there actually was a fairly decent reason for building it. Apparently there's only a very short period of time, in that region, when the conditions are right to go to the beach, so the Ocean Dome was built to make it possible to go to the beach even when the conditions were bad (typhoons season, cold weather, etc.).
  • ghgh1313, on 02/27/2008, -0/+20http://www.diggerland.com/

    holy *****, crank your speakers this is a riot
  • idiosyncrisia, on 02/27/2008, -0/+7Dugg for Bon Bon Land. I've been there and can't tell if it sucks...
  • borez, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1Digger land diggs
  • hobonater, on 02/27/2008, -0/+11I'll state the obvious...men who dress up like Mario ALWAYS look liek Ron Jeremy. I think the Ocean Dome is actually pretty cool and Sex Land looks awesome...
  • shiitake, on 02/27/2008, -1/+8No Hello Kitty land?
  • TecK415, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1Whoa, Diggerland is pretty cracked out. I dare you to go to that place on shrooms. Dancing tractors! WTF!
  • tamupino, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1Dugg for the dancing diggers
  • chrisinsocalif, on 02/27/2008, -2/+1Wow, I feel sorry for the venture capitalists that invested in those theme parks!
  • IMA_Sellout, on 02/27/2008, -5/+3If we're judging entire cultures, where's Disneyworld/Disneyland?
  • AmICoolNow, on 02/27/2008, -0/+22"You rascal, ***** into the alligator's mouth, a clever ruse indeed."
    Awesome.
  • FolleFille, on 02/27/2008, -0/+10hahaha definitely watch the bon bon land video. it's really funny and i wasn't expecting it to be
  • DjViral, on 02/27/2008, -0/+9who the ***** would ever be caught dead at mario-land, how embarrassing. a harness and a beanbag.
    Bon Bon land looks pretty good for a trip on shrooms
  • MetalHead73, on 02/27/2008, -0/+2DIGGERRRRRRRRRR LANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
  • uiguy3, on 02/27/2008, -2/+0everything is_____ on Earth! Like it's really going to be somewhere else.
  • Gunsotsu, on 02/27/2008, -0/+15They so totally missed what truly deserves the number one slot:

    http://www.theholylandexperience.com/
  • Ldog12395, on 02/27/2008, -0/+0Nothing more badass than dressing up like mario and jumping around in a bungee cord.
  • DonJohnTom, on 02/27/2008, -1/+3I orgasmed a little when I saw digger land
    • supermanred, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1***** that *****, it would have way too many Apple stores and every second day all 300 of Ron Paul's supporters would be having a rally.
  • redsoxmb545, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1Cow ***** wtf? The end of that video for Bon Bon....
  • JonTheGoose, on 02/27/2008, -2/+5Gets VERY NSFW a little more than half way down.
  • menosELoso, on 02/27/2008, -0/+3love land is for lovers...in ohio
    get it?
    what a bad pun
    • Hoogs, on 02/27/2008, -0/+2Dugg because I used to live there and actually get the joke.
    • ispellkonfusion, on 02/28/2008, -0/+1They should put some of those statues in the town square.
  • uscfan7690, on 02/27/2008, -0/+2Dugg for TPR video... they run a great site
  • H0tKarl, on 02/27/2008, -0/+2Is Buddha *****?
    http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/wong/tpar ...
    • supermanred, on 02/27/2008, -0/+2The Buddha appears to be *****, yes.

      sigh.
  • ticles, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1lol @ diggerland. I can see Diggerland Kent from my attic window... what the article doesn't tell you is that during winter, they create vast amounts of snow and create a mini ski field down the side of a hill, no doubt making greenpeace activists cry themselves to sleep.
  • mjn23, on 02/27/2008, -0/+2Suoi Tien is one of the most amazing places ever. The levels of hell are must see. There's an attraction comprised of sewn together 'creatures' in formaldehyde with a sign that reads "see the myster of strange and tremble" (no typos there). And I once saw a guy beat a crocodile with a stick to retrieve a visitor's sandal. I've been there more than a few times. Dam Sen Park in another part of the city is equally worth a visit.
  • hollywoodphony, on 02/27/2008, -3/+3I can't believe they don't have Disney World up there, it's a total ripoff of Disneyland in Anaheim, California. They just changed the "land" to "World".
  • robruiz, on 02/27/2008, -2/+1bury this! arrrggg! cracked is a copy cat!

    http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/12275
  • JoeVerrone, on 02/27/2008, -0/+2#2, first picture. What the hell am I looking at?
  • dualityim, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1Since when does Japanese = Engrish?
  • sleeknerve, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1I went to bon bon land when i was like 4 on a trip to Europe! I dont remember any of that...Im suprised my parents let me visit it actually
  • jeffinfremont, on 02/27/2008, -0/+3No Digg for the glaring omission of South of the Border.

    http://www.pedroland.com/
    • tomarocco, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1...and I thought you were talking about Tijuana.
  • supermanred, on 02/27/2008, -0/+9I once built a themepark in Rollercoaster Tycoon that had roller coasters that killed you instantly, others that would basically go up a big hill and then slide down at full speed smashing their way outside the ride and through the food areas.

    Also, if you had to take a ***** you had to walk about 3 miles to the one single toilet. If you didn't get killed by all the vehichles and obstacles I put in the way.

    My theme park wasn't much fun for the visitors, but it sure was a hoot to watch.
  • illspaz, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1YES! YES WE CA.. holy ***** what are those two dog statues doing
  • qasabah, on 02/27/2008, -0/+1What about Astana Fun World?
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