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How to Not Be a Douchebag New Yorker in NYC

coedmagazine.com — New York City – home to every type of person you can imagine, all crammed on top of each other into an area less than 1/10th the size of Los Angeles. Here are a few things to remember when living in New York, to help keep the gears of this great city moving (and to keep someone from punching you in the face.)

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  • MMusick, on 07/06/2009, -1/+8Number one rule if you're considering the move. Don't come!
  • athinnes, on 10/01/2009, -1/+6Aren't these rules of thumb in any major city? Don't snag cabs, watch where you walk, be nice to tourists, pay attention when you drive and don't lay on the horn, be nice on the subway, and let your friends crash at your place when they visit. Anyone who doesn't do these things in any city is a douchebag.
  • Vagabond91, on 07/07/2009, -0/+5He's a good tip. Do not go to that party you heard about around 145th 155th no matter how cool it sounds. Seriously.
  • mrbubby, on 07/06/2009, -0/+5laying on the horn doesn't make people go, true. But laying on the horn and holding a gun does.
  • mikehayes19, on 07/06/2009, -0/+5avoid midtown west
  • rossnyc, on 07/07/2009, -0/+4Stand on the right side of the escalator. Walk on the left. I hate the douchebags that don't pay any attention and stop the walk flow.
  • Coven, on 07/07/2009, -0/+3I tip big to cabbies that get me where I'm going quickly and without hassle. I'm in southern Brooklyn so I often do feel bad for the cabbie to have to look around down here for a new fare.

    I wish there was a way to reserve specific cabs because I've managed to land some real good rides.

    In my experience, whenever a cabbie gives you ***** just whip out a pen and paper and start writing down his information, or whip out your phone and dial 311 right then and there. He'll straighten up if it means he'll lose his hack license or incur a fine.
  • schudog3, on 07/06/2009, -0/+3I was in New York just last week and used an umbrella. I blinded seven people (that I know of).
  • inactive, on 07/07/2009, -0/+3It's happened to me in the few times. A friend of mine lives in Queens and everytime we head to Manhattan to drink, the cabbie on the way home gives us *****. As if we're not paying him. I've also had cabbies attempt to drop me off 10 blocks from where I was going. The last time I was in the city I ended up snapping on the driver and just walking back to Grand Central.
  • smindsrt, on 07/06/2009, -0/+3The music tip is funny. It seems when I go out there is one guy that dumps tons of money into the machine and thinks he's a DJ or something.
  • TIGHTY1515, on 07/06/2009, -1/+3YES! NY needed this badly.
  • Jabrams2, on 07/06/2009, -0/+2"And whatever you do, don’t load the jukebox with $15 worth of anything – your taste in music isn’t that good." Sounds exactly like my boy who comes out with me on the weekends. I somehow tend to hear the same exact songs wherever we go that has a jukebox anytime he goes near it. Yes, he has good taste, but not THAT good.
  • buzzd1ggity, on 07/06/2009, -1/+3step one: cut a hole in the box.
  • MargotCross, on 07/06/2009, -0/+2im going to print this out and hand it to a few people.
  • Coven, on 07/07/2009, -0/+2Cabs are required by law to take you anywhere in the 5 boroughs, Westchester, Nassau county or Newark airport. If one refuses to do so, take down his name and license # and report his ass to T&LC by dialing 311.
  • eastwood24, on 07/06/2009, -0/+2A close friend (bible belter minus the religion) just got back from his first NYC visit. Said he very suprised by how friendly and laid back most everyone was. Cigarettes evidently cost like $10 a pack though, so that sucks.
  • DahRecords, on 07/06/2009, -0/+2Effin' skanks
  • JaggOff, on 07/07/2009, -0/+1NYC Cab drivers need to hang up the f-ing phone! It's way out of hand.
  • detonatR, on 07/07/2009, -0/+1there can never be an end to the douchebag in new york. douchebags for life!
  • Garyland2002, on 07/06/2009, -0/+1You mean not everybody in NY is a douche? Shocking.
  • CourageWulf, on 07/06/2009, -1/+2It's Jager but I won't bury you because I get the reference.
  • chesterogilvie, on 07/07/2009, -0/+1It's correct without the umlaut.
  • leahpee, on 07/06/2009, -0/+1That's what she said.
  • inactive, on 07/07/2009, -0/+1Yeah, if you're from the south and you smoke, stock before you go north. Even in CT, I'm paying about $6 a pack.
  • rossnyc, on 07/07/2009, -0/+1Jager Bombs aren't really NYC. They're more Queens/NJ/Guidoish.

    (I'm guilty though and have one every time I go out...and I live in NJ, across the Hudson)
  • qiaohua, on 07/06/2009, -0/+1Another tip:

    Don't wear Ed Hardy.
  • leahpee, on 07/07/2009, -0/+1I'm not a big Ed Hardy fan myself, but why not? I guess everyone who wears it here in NZ is a bit douchey.

    But seriously. Someone enlighten me.
  • KokomoNYC, on 07/07/2009, -0/+1That's a really good impersonation of the stereotypical NYC douchebag, but no one is really like that, right?
  • Skuzzlbut, on 07/07/2009, -0/+1Not only stay out of NYC, but now that they blocked off Times Square - it has become a lounging ground for tourists and homeless alike.

    One more note - stop wearing Von Dutch - for the love of Science and all things holy!
  • numberneal, on 07/06/2009, -1/+1never leave home without the blackjack and mase
  • inactive, on 07/11/2009, -0/+0FEDER BAG!
  • Iveestyle, on 07/06/2009, -0/+0Good call Kidathinnes. Douchebag is getting a little old too wouldn't you say? Maybe we should brink back the classics like "knucklehead", "Pea Brain" or maybe to an animal "Ya Squid" or "Donkee". When my Aunts and Uncles start using the word "Douchebag" I know it's time to move on Ya Slugs!
  • pr0phet491, on 07/06/2009, -1/+1But I will.
  • noletrain, on 07/06/2009, -1/+1Tip #1: Don't actually be from New York.
  • inactive, on 07/07/2009, -0/+0The title is an oxymoron. CHICAGO FTW
  • casspa, on 07/06/2009, -3/+2I agree with everything but the $15 in the jukebox move....my taste in music is that good.
  • inactive, on 07/06/2009, -1/+0haha @leahpeeleahpee
  • KillTheAcademy, on 07/06/2009, -3/+1jeager-bombs
  • skinsonheelsup, on 07/07/2009, -4/+0Dear people from flyover country. Do us all a favor. Stay home and do whatever it is you normally do with your pathetic lives. Watch your NASCAR, vote Rethuglican, practice homophobia, do poorly on IQ tests, beat your wives, have sex with your close relatives, and envy those of us who live on the coasts, but PLEASE, stay out of NYC.

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