What is Digg?39 Comments
- RunDiggMC, on 04/02/2009, -4/+1821. The female G-spot.
- safetysealed, on 04/02/2009, -0/+7I'd really like the computer program that cops use in C.S.I. and N.C.I.S. to let you get a high definition close-up of somebody's face from a grainy security camera feed. That would be pretty awesome.
- amabaie, on 04/02/2009, -0/+7I guess I expected Star Trek to have its fair share of entries, but I like the food replicator from The Hitchhikers Guide better. It's more like me when it tries to figure out a problem. :-)
- Bangaarang, on 04/02/2009, -0/+7No Mr. Fusion or Flux capacitor?
- Number12, on 04/02/2009, -0/+6Holodeck FTW
- padraic2112, on 04/02/2009, -0/+5Buried for no transmogrifier.
- chrissku, on 04/02/2009, -0/+5The list is sadly missing 'Ziggy" from Quantum Leap. Ziggy knows all.
- Voster, on 04/02/2009, -0/+4ORGAZMORAAATOOOR!!!!!11eleventyoneoneone
- sweeneyowns, on 04/02/2009, -0/+4dugg for lightsaber battle.
- kag4489, on 04/03/2009, -0/+3I want a full size cylon centurian. I swear to God I would walk him up and down the street and scare the piss out of people.
- Ramble, on 04/02/2009, -0/+3There was a 32.4% probability that Ziggy was going to be on this list.
- GiantJacob, on 04/03/2009, -0/+3The lightsaber fight alone was worth the digg
- IvenomI, on 04/03/2009, -0/+2Dugg for Light Saber
- floorman56, on 04/03/2009, -0/+2Sci-Fi Inventions (That Would Actually Suck) from Cracked
# 3 Holodecks
As seen in:
Most people would know the holodeck as being an invention out of the Star Trek series, but they probably took the idea from a Ray Bradbury short story called The Veldt where a family has a holodeck that simulates an African veldt, and then are (predictably) eaten by virtual lions.
Why we thought we wanted it:
The holodeck is just big room, that can simulate any number of environments and/or experiences for the user, and can trick all five senses into believing that it's real. You don't have to hook anything up to your brain, you can walk in and out of it like any room. A room that happens to be full of ninjas and naked women and everything else you don't have in your real life.
Why we were wrong:
Of course, we here at Cracked were too busy practicing Jujitsu and working on our dragsters to watch something as geeky as Star Trek, but we do know that the dangers of a holodeck were demonstrated in Episode 234 ("A Fistful of Datas", aired November 9, 1992, Stardate 46271.5). This episode proved that if you get shot by a cowboy in the holodeck world, you really die.
Now, assuming the creators of the real holodeck are not completely retarded and they install something that makes it so the simulation cowboys do not shoot real bullets and that the veldt lions don't really eat you (both of these would seem to be first-day considerations in the design phase), there is another problem.
Imagine how you'll react if you're in your holodeck and somebody interrupts you. Say, you're halfway through your chess game with Darth Vader, when suddenly he disappears, Scarlett Johansson is no longer sitting in your lap, and pizza costs money again. You'd find the guy who turned off the machine and snap his damned neck. Dilbert creator Scott Adams jokingly points out in his book The Dilbert Future that the holodeck, "will be society's last invention." It's no joke; once we had it, there'd be no reason to have anything else.
It's not just that it would be addictive; it's that it would literally fill every possible human emotional need and utterly eliminate all motivation to ever do anything ever. Everyone's only goal would be to do just enough work to keep food and electricity coming into the holodeck, to keep those interruptions by reality to a minimum.
People would stop reproducing, your virtual Scarlett Johansson could have perfect virtual kids who'll never wind up in jail or steal money from you to buy crack. If you get tired of them, tell the holodeck to blink them out of existence. If you're saying that you're a high-minded person who pursues spiritual goals and would never be sucked in by anything as crude as a simulation, hey, they've got a holodeck for you, too. You can sit down to dinner with Plato and Abe Lincoln and Gandhi and Jesus. If somebody yanked you out of that to go work at the post office all day, you'd barricade yourself in with a shotgun.
If aliens showed up to Earth 1,000 years later, they'd find an abandoned planet with ten billion mummified corpses laying on the floor of ten billion dusty holodecks, with huge smiles on their faces. - Discobassplayer, on 04/02/2009, -1/+3Buried for lack of Suicide booth.
- akarsvp222, on 04/03/2009, -0/+2i watched every single second.
- snurfle, on 04/03/2009, -0/+2Dugg for Arrested Development.
And for one page. - offrdbandit, on 04/02/2009, -1/+2Cornballer. Nuff said.
- purzzzell, on 04/03/2009, -2/+3I don't know where to start bitching about this article - all it did was put into words what you think when you see these items on a show - the formula's basically:
Take fictional word with cool aspects to it.
Extract cool aspect.
Describe what it does in one paragraph and say how cool that would be for real life.
This was crap. - errogroth, on 04/02/2009, -1/+2As much as I like the idea of stopping time for my own personal pleasure i wouldn't need to if I had a holodeck.
- roebeet, on 04/03/2009, -1/+2MIA -- the Holly Hop Drive, and the "Better Than Life" total immersion video game.
- USER1236, on 04/02/2009, -0/+1I'd be having sex everyday on the Holodeck so it would be my number 1
- Kidddrunkadelic, on 04/03/2009, -0/+1Computer, run nudie program #2318.
- diadem2, on 05/12/2009, -0/+1Holly Hop Drive? I wouldn't call anything bigger than a city block a "gadget."
- benjeye, on 04/02/2009, -2/+3What? Now Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?
Oh yea, that exists.....the Kindle - MrFrostyUK, on 04/02/2009, -0/+1Mr. Garrison and his air travel beating invention - IT. <insert random SP quote below>
- EddieDamonster, on 04/03/2009, -0/+1Beats getting your arm all tired.
- NoozeHound, on 06/01/2009, -0/+1Dimensional transmogrifier?
- inactive, on 04/02/2009, -0/+1Needs a Batarang in there.
- Greengoo, on 04/03/2009, -1/+1Buried for no Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Well technically... dugg. But you know what I'm going for here, people.
- asgardshill, on 04/02/2009, -2/+2Buried for no Oscillating Overthruster from The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai. When the Red Lectroids come, you'll be screwed without one.
- defmer, on 04/02/2009, -1/+1mirror please???????
- inactive, on 04/08/2009, -0/+0I used to love the shoe phone on Get Smart but now I actually own one!
- danreeves, on 04/02/2009, -0/+0I've wanted a hover board all my life since I saw Back to the Future 2... but the iron man suit is really bad ass
- GiantJacob, on 04/03/2009, -1/+1"the "Better Than Life" total immersion video game."
your talking about a holodeck - spaghettiwstrn, on 04/02/2009, -1/+0i have always wanted a camera that that looked normal, except it grows scary ass legs and ***** right before the shot... i think it would make for some hilarious shots, no?
- Grueslayer, on 04/03/2009, -1/+0A lot of Star Trek technology is closer than you think.
Actually the Tricorder is a reality: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/02/07022 ...
As well as a replicator (just not with food yet): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/3D_printing
Scientists have also "transported" the state of an atom via quantum entanglement (really only good for future computers): http://www.popsci.com/scitech/article/2004-10/atom ...
A true Holodeck is a bit away but single person holograms have been around for a while: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wphytMJ_F_A
And i'm sure most of you have a communicator... you call them cell phones. - inactive, on 04/03/2009, -1/+0What about Pokeball?
- MoistMuffin, on 04/02/2009, -7/+2Where the **** is the Pokedex on this list?!
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