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41 Comments
- jggr, on 10/19/2009, -0/+59“Well, ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.” - Cowzeetgrass, on 10/19/2009, -1/+41I'm kind of surprised they went for Cliff., figured it would be Norm.
"What'd you like Normie?"
"A reason to live. Give me another beer."
"What'll you have Normie?"
"Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap."
"Looks like beer, Norm."
"Call me Mister Lucky."
"How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, I mean pour."
"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty."
"What's the story Norm?"
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."
"What's going on Mr. Peterson?"
"The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson? A beer please, Woody."
"Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid questions." - zephc, on 10/19/2009, -0/+15Truly a modern sage, a giant amongst men
- Langford, on 10/20/2009, -1/+10The last one was the best.
"Woody, I think you're missing the point here. It's not that Wile E. Coyote wants to eat necessarily or that he wants to eat a roadrunner. What he wants is to eat that particular roadrunner. It's very existential." - falstaff, on 10/20/2009, -0/+9Cliff Clavin: You see, Tiny, uh, you know, calling you Tiny, a guy of your, you know, girth, is what we in the comedy profession call a juxtaposition. Right? Juxtaposition! You see, it's like calling a bald guy Curly, a fat guy Slim, a tall guy...
[Cliff waits for an answer from Tiny, which isn't forthcoming]
Cliff Clavin: ...Shorty!
Tiny the Bouncer: I like that. You're Smart.
Cliff Clavin: Why, thank you.
Tiny the Bouncer: No, that's your new nickname. Get it? - bratterscain, on 10/20/2009, -0/+7Dugg for Cheers. The theme song was my class's graduation song and I practically grew up watching it. I also don't watch TV anymore (broadband, ***** yeah!), so I haven't seen a full episode since high school. Off to check Netflix.
Woot! Queue is now full. Too bad there's nothing for "watch now". - Cowzeetgrass, on 10/20/2009, -0/+7"Whatcha up to Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."
Giving you the benefit of the doubt, you were only four and a half feet off. I foresee weather forecasting in your future. - Gr00ver, on 10/20/2009, -0/+6I'll drink to that!
- Postalwrker27, on 10/19/2009, -0/+6An American Hero
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9nOnFB7b2E - larryhorse958, on 10/20/2009, -0/+5I hate being 'that guy' and usually scoff at folks that correct others, but my inner Cheers had do this to protect the virtue and sanctity of the show.
"Women, Can't live with em', pass the beer nuts." - SAKevin, on 10/20/2009, -0/+5The man who taught me that broccoli is the vegetable with the most highly developed nervous system. I don't know if it's true, but I hope it is.
- readme, on 10/20/2009, -0/+5"How's life treating you Norm?"
"Like he caught me in bed with his wife." - david4041, on 10/20/2009, -0/+4"What are you up to Mr. Peterson."
"My ideal weight if I were 6 foot 5."
(as best I can recall) - st0ney, on 10/20/2009, -1/+5yes
- FallingDonkey, on 10/20/2009, -0/+4Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.
- jrm125, on 10/19/2009, -0/+3Had a drink at Bull & Finch just the other day.
- jahnjf, on 10/20/2009, -0/+3We could all use a little more Cliff Clavin in our lives. A true Renaissance man
- disappointed, on 10/20/2009, -0/+3He's right about pigs, ties and Wile E. Coyote.
- xs11ax, on 10/20/2009, -0/+3Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.....
- ayeroxor, on 10/20/2009, -0/+3You only had a room and you shared it? And people just walked into it whenever they felt like it?
Either your old building was a dorm, or you're Chinese. - Ibox, on 10/20/2009, -0/+3Women, Can't live with em' ... Hey , I need another beer.
- GilThielander, on 10/20/2009, -0/+2"Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen?"
- JackandCoke, on 10/20/2009, -0/+1IF they EVER make a Cheers movie, Nick Frost = Cliff
http://bearmythology.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/n ... - ayeroxor, on 10/20/2009, -1/+2Wow, it's so tough to go on to the next thing. Life must be so difficult for you. Hey, I have an idea. Next time you're in a shop with a magazine rack and you have to pass over all those magazines you never read, you should probably complain to the manager. YOU never read them; why should they be there?
- Ibox, on 10/21/2009, -0/+1sorry I was trying off the top of my head, I knew it wasn't exactly right... Thx. for the correction.
- readme, on 10/20/2009, -0/+1"Say hello to my enormous black friend, uh, LOUIS!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMFv9Z-8FcI - GRANDPAMUNSTER, on 10/20/2009, -0/+1Maybe someday Cheers will be back on TV, if they ever run out of reality shows.
- ayeroxor, on 10/20/2009, -0/+1Cool story, bro.
- williemain, on 10/20/2009, -0/+1both
- ayeroxor, on 10/20/2009, -0/+1The aught thing had its chance to catch on nearly a decade ago. Have you not been paying attention?
- williemain, on 10/20/2009, -2/+3unrelated "Cheers" Story:
In my old building, I used to live down the hall from a Nerdy Asian guy named Norman. Sometimes he would come into mine and my roommate's room to borrow something or just say hello. As time went on, every time he came in, my roommate and I would yell, "Norm!" in a Cheersesque style. - ejake24, on 10/20/2009, -0/+1It appears they already have:
http://www.sloshspot.com/blog/10-09-2009/The-Timel ... - stinkypickles, on 10/20/2009, -0/+1http://rorr.im
- Janjko, on 10/20/2009, -0/+1Actually, Croatians invented ties as a fashion statement. But he is right about everything else.
http://www.how-to-tie-a-tie.info/history.htm - GeorgeFord, on 10/20/2009, -0/+1"How's it going, Mr Peterson?"
"It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing Milkbone™ underwear." - rootsthatruin, on 10/20/2009, -1/+1Speaking of sweat, here's a little known fact: women have fewer sweat glands than men, but they're larger and more active.
- ayeroxor, on 10/20/2009, -1/+1You're thinking of nipples.
/well, I have three. - GeorgeFord, on 10/20/2009, -1/+1.
- FLCProductions, on 10/19/2009, -2/+1Most of these made me laugh.
- swantamer, on 10/20/2009, -6/+1Because it was the early 90's and THAT'S what was funny THEN . . . but now it's the late aughts so ***** THAT!
- diemunkiesdie, on 10/19/2009, -16/+4Am I the only one tired of all of these "timeless wisdom" submissions that have been popping up recently?
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