What is Digg?76 Comments
- digitalgopher, on 10/12/2007, -1/+56One of the comments on this post was by a guy who actually programs these things. he says this interesting bit:
"I actually program these IVR systems for various call centers, hospitals, financial institutions, or just about any place of business.
A tip that I've actually tried - and had work - is to use some expletives while on hold for a CSR. Almost immediately my call was answered....Sometimes they DO monitor you while on hold. So if Big Brother is listening, you can try to use it to your advantage!" - antron, on 10/12/2007, -1/+40Hello, this is Apple customer service, how can I help you?
- toastgodsupreme, on 10/12/2007, -5/+43Kind of off topic, but another thing to keep in mind is that when you're on hold, you may be on a special mute. Where I work, we mute people all the time so we can discuss the problem with a colleague, go down the hall to get a specialist, or whatever. They think they've been put on hold so they talk to other people in the room or just mumble to themselves. Well, we get to hear it all.
It's fun to listen to them bitch about you. Sometimes we make them wait longer if they insult us "behind our backs". - LordBoozington, on 10/12/2007, -0/+36I actally found this out myself a few days ago while trying to get through to HP. Thier damn system asks you a bunch of questions before you get to talk to someone, and then when you finally get to a live peson they ask you the very same damn questions over again and again as you get transfered to 3 differant people.
Well one day I was in a bad mood when I called up thier tech support and said f*ck a couple of times to the IVR and the thing stopped mid-sentence and put me through to a rep. - LycoLoco, on 10/12/2007, -2/+34Just remember: This DOES NOT work when calling your mother.
- phpirate, on 10/12/2007, -3/+33Haha. Now if you don't want to go through a long automated phone call, you can just pick up your phone, dial a number, and say "F**K!!!". Pricelelss.
- tlogank, on 10/12/2007, -6/+35Actually, you can just keep pressing zero...that ALWAYS works. Seriously, try it with any automated call service. If you just continue to press zero no matter what the automated thing is saying, it will take you straight to an operator. It may take 1 time pressing it, it may take 10, but I promise-it will work.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+30Until we hit the mute buttons on our phones...
- ziggystardust, on 10/12/2007, -0/+25I did a lil' swearing knowing I'd get put through and the woman that answered told me to watch my mouth or she wouldn't help me. Just be aware that they can hear what you say.
- Lumiras, on 10/12/2007, -7/+29How ***** cool................whenever I need to get ***** apple on the ***** phone I'll just need to say the right ***** words to the ***** IVR :)
Ahh, pardon the swearing, but it's fun - Kruncher, on 10/12/2007, -1/+19Finally? You must be new here :)
- deusdiabolus, on 10/12/2007, -0/+17The unfortunate part of this is that I happen to have a voice that sounds...well, like a professional recording voice. This has led to people trying to determine or flat out asking me if I'm a computer or a real person, which I find insulting. Too bad everyone can't have good diction and proper grammar.
- uncleFester, on 10/12/2007, -0/+16"Actually, you can just keep pressing zero...that ALWAYS works."
don't count on it. I've hit 3-4 ivr systems over the last 6 months that, after repeated-0 pressings, simply stated they didn't recognize the selection and hung up. one of them was something semi-significant at the time, like a bank or support line for some decent piece of hardware..
the ivr system programmers have steadily recognized 0 as a circumvention of their no-people goal.. (and i also admin a few ivr systems at work.. they suck in ALL realms, not just usage :).
-r - kaniz, on 10/12/2007, -0/+15While trying to navigate rogers voice activated system I got pissed off and yelled "just give me a ***** person", lo and behold -- I got a real person shortly after that.
- awhiteflame, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13What's wrong, Dave?
....
You like your live operators better than me, don't you Dave?
...
Dave? .... Dave? - stomicron, on 10/12/2007, -0/+12That's because Virgin mobile is ghetto.
- scottylist, on 10/12/2007, -4/+15I once called my HMO, had their annoying IVR take me in circles, so I finally told it to go ***** itself, and it paused for a few seconds, and i thought i was finally going to get through to a human, but then the IVR said in a really nasty voice "you know what, YOU can go ***** yourself." and hung up on my face. becareful, they sometimes talk back.
- UNL1M1T3D, on 10/12/2007, -0/+11Or does it?
- Rosewood, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10A company I've worked with (can't mention because of NDA) has a similar system. If you try this, you will get an operator that is warned that you are upset. That operator is also given the green light to drop you as a customer if you are at all difficult. So ... beware.
- exoendo, on 10/12/2007, -1/+10probably because after you are done hitting buttons and running around saying 'operater' into the phone for ten minutes... enough time has passed that it would be your turn anyway...
- CharlesDarwin, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7I wonder if Bob Saget ever ran in to this when he made a collect call...
- erikt311, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6Unless you actually HAVE a sense of humor (it can be alarmingly effective).
- astrosmash, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8My first cell phone was on a pay-as-you-go plan where you dial *611 and use your credit card to add minutes. I used it for about a year before the carrier switched from touch-tone menu system to a voice activated (IVR) system, at which point the phone ended up in little pieces on the ground. I can attest that their system did not recognize any goddamn swear words.
There's nothing worse than having to engage in a voice conversation with a computer named Joanne in order to get something done. Obviously the people who design these things think that Microsoft's Clippy was a really good idea.
***** you, Joanne. - Piper7865, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6A lot of times(and I say this from experience) you get asked for your information twice is beacause first the system uses it to route to the correct dept. (even though it usually doesn't) however the phone system isn't linked into the tech's computer so none of that data gets to the tech that answers the phone so they have to ask you again so they can bring up your file. It's pretty iritating for both parties.
- trogdoor, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7"I never really understood why Customer Disservice numbers ask you for your phone number...social...etc...only to get asked again when you speak with someone.....Live....On Pay-Per-View!"
Social security number... Sorry to break this to ya but that wasn't customer service, it was a physher.
I see here that you've ordered a yacht and had it shipped to the Camen Islands. What? you say you don't live in the Camen Islands, how strange... - mlerner, on 10/12/2007, -5/+10Umm, if an IVR talks back to me rudely I don't think I would be a customer of that company anymore. Under no circumstances should they do that.
- starling, on 10/12/2007, -2/+7You don't even need to swear. Anytime you say "*****", immediately say "cryin' out loud" after. Try it:
"*****...cryin' out loud."
"Fuc...cryin' out loud."
"Fuh..CRYIN' out LOUD."
Then you'll get to talk to The Man. - elpepe, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5This works but then you have to be extra nice to the operator. Ive noticed this a few times, after waiting for a long time, murmuring goddamnit ***** into the phone gets you connected straight away
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -3/+7I never really understood why Customer Disservice numbers ask you for your phone number...social...etc...only to get asked again when you speak with someone.....Live....On Pay-Per-View!
- mc7winkie, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4If only it worked the same way in the real world...
- erikt311, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Sort of funny that a telecommunications company can't get a phone system that works.
- Peepsalot, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4Last time I cursed at an automated system, it just plain hung up on me. It was stuck in some kind of loop that kept giving me the same menu options after I kept selecting the one I wanted. The third time it listed them, I said "I JUST ***** PRESSED IT YOU PIECE OF *****."
*Click*, call ended (and not by me).
I took 10 deep breaths, redialed and hit zero repeatedly until the automated voice stopped. That method worked :-) - groogs, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3I discovered the same thing about a year ago with Bell Canada.. it kept guessing (wrong) what I wanted, and I just got annoyed and "f**k" just slipped out.. next thing it's saying "Alright, okay, I'm transferring your call to a customer service representative". I laughed my ass off :)
- armosfighter, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Sometimes these things don't work out...
http://www.tourettesguy.com/videos/colgate/
"I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn't have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody." - modpancake, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4That is awesome... wish I would've thought to try that sooner.
This really ought to be on Diggnation. - nazadus, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3hmm, sounds like I may do this just to get SBC to drop me.
They didn't give me what they promised (I wanted static IP's lacking PPPoE, they gave me static PPPoE).
With the amount I spend on phone service, I'm better of paying for static time warner and getting faster speeds and using voip. - Ryosen, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Hitting zero over and over doesn't work. I've always found this site to be very useful: http://gethuman.com/us/. It's a database of various companies' IVR systems and their menu structures.
- nicklinus, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3I can verifie this it is 100% true. when you cal vergin mobile and say something like that they say sorry and then transfer you right over.
- Travelsonic, on 10/12/2007, -2/+4" Among those keywords are frequently a list of swear words, like the FCC’s dirty 7."
*****, piss, *****, *****, *****, *****, and *****? Oh wait, those are Carlin's. ^_^ - WolfwoodX, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I have had 0 disconnect me on some systems, so it dosn't always work.
- saudama, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Ah, keywords. It's sad that swearing into the phone is the fastest way to getting to a live person.
- LilGator, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Maybe it senses sudden volumes levels, and detects stress and frustration rather than actual words ?
On a machine that this has worked for you in the past, say the same words slowly and calmly. And then try saying random meaningless words loudly and a tad annoyed :D - shotgunefx, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Awhile back, I was stuck in a hellish phone tree and dealing with what I was dealing with, it was something that was fairly urgent.
I kept getting bounced back and forth to menus that made no sense. My irritation built into a fury, I'm smashing stuff, yelling at the phone, hitting 0 did nothing, nor did anything else. I tried asking for operator and various other things.
Finally I screamed at the top of my lungs.
F*****************CKING HUUUMAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That did the trick :) - vigor14, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Hilarious; I do like this idea much better then the one I had been using for the past year or so.
I would always use a fruit, say, banana. Then when they asked if I said "####", I would say apple.
I have also used other languages, such as Urdu or French to really mess with them.
Next time I'll try something like "Long, black, donkey, d*ck" !!
Thanks for the link :-) - UNL1M1T3D, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Yeah I would love to see Kevin and Alex talk about this.
- nanboya, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Yup, works both with Telus as well. I had to put a call into their technical support line for a business ADSL issue and kept getting bumped into those voice system. "Give me a f@$king break" was all I had to say and I was promptly put through to an agent...
- dubloe7, on 10/12/2007, -2/+3oh man, now everyone is going to use this and theyre going to curb it so it doesnt work as much or as fast, thanks a lot internet.
- peppino, on 06/03/2008, -0/+1I wonder if there's a word on the list that isn't too bad. I imagine I would get in trouble, at work, if I starting saying the "F" word a lot.
- oxymoron69, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1where i work our ivr doesnt respond to *****....
theres no 0 or anything like that. way to go creditonebank! i swear its done purely for frustration purposes. lol - oxymoron69, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1where i work b/c we're outsource we have to ask for the acct# because our phones dont work with the clients ivr system which is apparently more of a softphone setup
where the acct# is passed to the reps screen.
we as an outsource don't have that luxury of the non-outsourced reps and are always bitched at by lazy customers about how they just entered it. -
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