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Dungeons and Dragons Nerds Talk Sex

maximonline.com — Between weekend-long stretches of D&D and foot-long stretch marks, GenCon geeks still have time for some awkward lovin'.

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  • mangamike, on 10/10/2007, -1/+30"What happens at gencon stays at gencon" we can only be thankful for that...
    • Grimdotdotdot, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Unless it was with the girl who got the love letter, in which case: Get that video uploaded!
    • smellinator, on 10/10/2007, -1/+9When I read the personal ads, I always assumed that "Must be D&D Free" meant "Drug and Disease" free...

      Now I know.
    • bobartig, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0I know people who've specifically gotten laid at Gen Con, so it's not like it doesn't happen.

      There's also the subsection of LARPers who seem to equate some combination of drug use, casual sex, and drinking other people's blood with gaming. If that crowd is represented at Gen Con, then there's bound to be some gamer hookups occurring.
      • labmouse42, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Well your off with the blood part, but in the 90s the rest of that was spot on.
  • kenvsryu, on 10/10/2007, -2/+131I put on my wizard robe and hat.
    • h4mx0r, on 10/10/2007, -12/+5and cast lvl 100000000 eroticism and penis of the infinite.
    • mindsnare, on 10/10/2007, -8/+2Good call my friend, oldschool.
    • netdroid9, on 10/10/2007, -3/+11...And don my Belt of Gender Changing...
  • hockyfight, on 10/10/2007, -9/+21That's ridiculous, everyone knows Dungeons and Dragons and Sex can't go in the same sentence together.
    • Cloud7654, on 10/10/2007, -9/+16People who play Dungeons and Dragons don't get any sex.

      Win.
    • Grimshaw9, on 10/10/2007, -1/+10Actually I work for someone who's married and he met his wife playing D&D. However I don't know if sex fits into that.
    • jerrycan, on 10/10/2007, -2/+0Bah! I chose the female sex for my new half-orc!
    • johnnysaucepn, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4What, you mean like that one?
    • AoiTakuma, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Dungeons and Dragons actually prevented me from having sex one night... damned surprise attacks!
  • OBKenobi, on 10/10/2007, -10/+6Maxim somehow managed to miss all the semi-naked cosplay girls in their anime, WoW elf princess, and Leia metal bikini costumes.

    Or am I thinking of Comic Con?
    • kakwakas, on 10/10/2007, -1/+8Yes, you are.
      Though I think there might have been a booth for the WoW TCG.
      • OBKenobi, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1My comment seems to have caused some resentment. Do GenCon and ComicCon attendees have some kind of bitter rivalry I don't know about? Sort of like Star Wars fans and LOTR fans?
  • Rikushix, on 10/10/2007, -1/+41OK, was it just me, or did you guys do a double take at the "guy" who said he would serve Mountain Dew to girls?
  • Bricks, on 10/10/2007, -2/+51"Sweetie, I'm getting tired, are you going to come soon?"
    "Let lemme check my dice"
    • Zippo, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Ugh, I rolled a 1... I guess that means I came before we even started.
  • Bayman, on 10/10/2007, -3/+5God bless mountain dew. :)
  • Kronos6948, on 10/10/2007, -10/+43Wow...is this what Funny is supposed to be?

    Maxim...making Jocks feel better about poking fun at Nerds.
    • fareed, on 10/10/2007, -1/+11They make fun of themselves. Mountain Dew? The whole roll 20 thing? It's either scripted or they want people to laugh at them.

      One can like D&D AND not act weird around women. These guys want to fit in the stereotype so badly that they'll rather be a laughingstock than ordinary.
      • gandhii, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3"ordinary" people are laughing stocks.. They just don't ever hang around with anyone not in khakis and polos so they're not aware of it.
    • Septimus, on 10/10/2007, -6/+2Those ones deserved it. Thank ***** they aren't going to breed.
    • Maddjonesy, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Nerd!
      (only kidding)
    • webRat, on 10/10/2007, -5/+3Hit too close to home there?
      • Kronos6948, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1It's a little bit of a stereotype, don't you think? Not all D&D players are like that.
        • webRat, on 10/10/2007, -3/+0Dugg down for a lack of a "Oh Snap!" comment.
        • DCUK, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Not all, but most. . . . enough for a stereotype to exist.
        • labmouse42, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Well, we should be fair.
          ConGeeks the type of geeks that normal geeks shudder when they look at.
      • laserdog, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1They clearly didn't spend all that much time on the piece.

        You can almost see their producer saying "get three interviews and we'll splice it into something workable".
        • labmouse42, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Thats because the other geeks said something like this...
          "Get laid at Gencon? Are you nuts? You come here to geek out with your friends. When you want to get laid you go clubbing"
    • johnnybluejeans, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2Jocks! What are we, in high school?
  • Flashtone, on 10/10/2007, -4/+1oh noes Charles myyy helmet!
  • TonyPerkis, on 10/10/2007, -5/+72Lois: "Oh I need a spankin, I'm a bad bad girl."
    Peter: "I'm a Paladin with +18 charisma and +97 Hit points. I can use my Helm of Disintegration and do 1d4 damage as my half-elf mage wields his +5 Holy Avenger.
    Lois: "Paladins can't use the Helm of Disintegration"
    Peter: "Oh....ok, then I'm a black guy!"
  • SSCrow, on 10/10/2007, -6/+12Haha, "I only roll 20's in bed"
    • polalion, on 10/10/2007, -2/+11Best pickup line ever.
      • subliminalurge, on 10/10/2007, -4/+3Um, no, not really.....
        • MarkOfTheDead, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Pickup lines are meant as an ice breaker to make a woman laugh, not to literally get the girl.

          So yeah, really.
          • subliminalurge, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1I just asked 3 girls here in the office if that would be a good pickup line, and they just gave me a confused look and said "Huh?". They didn't laugh. They didn't even know what the ***** it meant.

            So, as pickup lines go, I'm still not counting that one as being very good.....
          • r4ge, on 10/10/2007, -1/+0seems like a lot of effort to prove your point.
          • labmouse42, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Thats just because you .... didn't roll a 20 on the seduce check.

            (In a geek's world 1/20 of all women you try and pick up with want to go home with you instantly)
  • evilregis, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2That's like me talking particle physics.
  • vx69, on 10/10/2007, -2/+12Digg has a video section.

    Not whining just saying!
  • MBHockey, on 10/10/2007, -3/+2that wasn't even funny, just sad.
  • ibeetle, on 10/10/2007, -5/+3Last time Dungeons & Dragons nerds talked sex a child got neglected.

    http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-07-16-child-neglect_N.htm
    • NorthKorea, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2nice dude...

      "Police said hospital staff had to shave the head of the girl because her hair was matted with cat urine. The 10-pound girl also had a mouth infection, dry skin and severe dehydration.

      Her brother had to be treated for starvation and a genital infection. His lack of muscle development caused him difficulty in walking, investigators said.

      The Straws have been given public defenders. Jeremy Bosler, head of the county public defender's office, declined to comment to the Associated Press on Saturday.

      Michael Straw is an unemployed cashier, and his wife worked for a temporary staffing agency doing warehouse work, according to court records. He received a $50,000 inheritance that he spent on computer equipment and a large plasma television, authorities said.

      While child abuse because of drug addiction is common, abuse rooted in video game addiction is rare"
    • Zippo, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3How is one an unemployed cashier? I can only assume he was once a cashier, but due to his addiction stopped showing up to work and got fired.

      Sad.
  • juliustan, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4"I only roll 20s in bed"
    HAHAHA
  • benguild, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3That girl was pretty good lookin'. WHO'D HIT IT. I'd hit it.
    • TheHappyRobot, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2People still hit stuff? I thought we weren't allowed to say that since the McDonald's incident.
    • r4ge, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0i'd hit that.
    • labmouse42, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Actually she was only OK looking.
      Its a frame of reference though. You take an average woman and drop her into a convention and suddenly she's a goddess.

      If a guy is hanging out at ice skating rings or a sewing club they will find a similar effect.
  • susn, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3haha don't worry, it'll be over in a flash?
  • AgentDale, on 10/10/2007, -0/+22The D&D players had funnier self deprecating humor than Maxim had in trying to make fun of them.

    "In regular sex there's no crying at the end." It's always good to beat them to the punchline.
    • lilzaphod, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4What do you expect? Jock culture isn't smart enough to interview geek culture.

      It takes Wit to poke fun at Geek culture, and that's something Maxim doesn't have.
  • naz2292, on 10/10/2007, -1/+0the future...
    IT BURNS
    =(
  • threemagic, on 10/10/2007, -0/+11Are there girls at the bar?? If there are I wanna doooooooooo them!!!!
  • omnithought, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13Cons must've changed. We used to say that if you couldn't get laid at a con, then you couldn't get laid.
    • lilzaphod, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4NO doubt. Cons: Helping geeks get laid since 1980.
  • cyreeo, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3"I only roll 20s in bed"

    whatever. everyone knows sex is rolled with six-sided dice.
    • JDRay, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Dude, that's so Second Edition. Since 3.0, Initiative is rolled with a 20.

      'Course, in this case, it should be modded with Cha instead of Dex. :-
  • MacParrot, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3I don't think it's a question of whether or not D and D fanatics can breed but whether or not they SHOULD breed.
  • ceris, on 10/10/2007, -4/+5The guy doing the interviewing looked like the biggest loser there.
    Balding Guy Who Thinks He's Cool With A Mic
    He really looks like that 35 year old hanging out at the teen club picking on the nerds to pick up chicks (who are laughing at him)
  • ceris, on 10/10/2007, -8/+3The guy doing the interview looked like that 35+ year old balding looser who hangs out at teen clubs picking on the nerds to impress the chicks (who are laughing at him).
  • boaman, on 10/10/2007, -6/+3yup, the interviewer is the biggest looser in the video
    • CorpT, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Except for the person who spells 'loser' as 'looser'.
  • JFitzpatrick, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4So here is my question: Are people who -look- like nerds, simply drawn into the nerd life style... or does the nerd life style, lead to otherwise normal looking people emulating stereotypically nerdy traits and dress?

    Seriously. Which is it? Is the nerd born a nerd and herded into nerdom, or does the initial encounter with nerdom lead to the nerd like behaviors?
    • MiDri, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1I think it is a little of both, you have more of a nerd look and instead of fighting the curve and trying to look good -- you just take the easy way out and go all out nerdy. Same way with some hot girls -- they can look like models or dirty hippies, they just have an affinity for one or the other.
    • JDRay, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1When the creative part of your brain is dedicated to RPGs instead of fashion, you come out looking un-fashionable.
  • CSharpSauce, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3I can't believe the didn't show the chain mail girl!!!
  • NoFunBradley, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1HA HA HA HA I like the Dungeons, Dragons, and Dorks video better.
  • V1ncent, on 10/10/2007, -0/+11I remember my fist D&D adventure. While in a dungeon, the Dungeon Master told me I heard a woman scream and rushing around a corner there was an Orc getting out of his armor; there was a princess tied to a bed. I slew the Orc and was asked what I wanted to do now. I replied "Remove my armor" Mouths dropped all around the nerd table...

  • unclefire, on 10/10/2007, -1/+0Come on, its obvious they sought out the nerdies of the nerds for the piece.

    What do you think of the ladies here? What ladies? You mean female trolls?
  • blacklilyninja, on 10/10/2007, -2/+4dugg down as inaccurate ... nerds dont have sex. they just roll new characters when the population declines.
  • tymme, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1http://youtube.com/watch?v=joylAVP6v5M is equally fitting....
  • Drewnami, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Maxim just doesn't get geek culture, but as long as they have articles on cool gadgets (and the women paid to act like they love them), I'll thumb through it at the bookstore...if they're out of Maximum PC.

    Seriously, this silly clique warfare was supposed to end in high school. Turns out it's only getting a little subtler.
  • Drewnami, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2+1 to your circumstance bonus on "Tumble" checks if your girlfriend plays D&D. An additional +3 if she's your DM, too, but don't disappoint or you'll likely be rerolling next session.
  • pyrates, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1This reminds me of this quote from http://www.bash.org/?267308

    StreetPsychologist: Wow I just met a chick online who lives about 10 miles from me.
    punkpet: and her name is ted
    StreetPsychologist: NERD SEX!
    punkpet: create some nerdlings
    punkpet: when he's born it will be the first and last time he sees female gentalia
    StreetPsychologist: Our geographical proximity is making me thing MARRIAGE already.
    punkpet: lol
    phenobarbital: you might even take a shower today
    HellKat: no computer nerds breeding, next you know we'll have children running about with 20 fingers for more efficent keyboard use and an extra arm for cyber sex
  • occupant, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Hey baby, what's your THAC0?
    • labmouse42, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Wrong edition.
      Now its all about your baby's BaBs.
  • slowbo, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1http://www.duggmirror.com/
    dugmirror.com
    www.diggmirror.com
    diggmirror.com
  • Kwipper, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Okay. I do not blame the people interviewing the people at GenCon.... okay I do. I also blame the people being interviewed. It's people like these why D&D fans are made fun of, and quite honestly I want to slaughter them all with my "Powerful Axe of *****" that gives +6 to killing ***** nerds who don't know how to keep themselves from acting retarded in front of a video camera.
  • gpw11, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Maxim is still around? What's funny is that they're pretty much making fun of their own fanbase.
  • wafflekaffe, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Is your vagina like sleeve of wizard? FTW!
  • Jotacon, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Yeah. I'm a normal geek, play D&D, etc. ConGeeks scare even me.
  •  

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