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- shifty2, on 10/10/2007, -30/+500We DON'T tell you these things for a reason!! We do not feel like doing un-necessary work due to your stupidity and thinking you are smarter or better than us by using a proxy server to download crap. You have limited privileges on your workstation for a reason, *****!! It's bad enough IT employees are invisible to upper management when ***** is okay, but when YOU ***** up, WE have to fix it and then catch all the flak from upper management for not preventing the problem in the first place. Then your bitch ass will complain that "IT is too strict around here" It's either you play by the rules and policies to protect YOUR job and the company or i can make it so that you will do your excel spread sheet from a typewriter and get your youtube video's via morse ***** code /end rant
- meshman, on 10/10/2007, -6/+177This is hilarious. I remember reading this when it was entitled "10 ways to get fired".
"HOW TO SEND GIANT FILES" - Do so and you're fired. Bandwidth is for business use.
"HOW TO USE SOFTWARE THAT YOUR COMPANY WON'T LET YOU DOWNLOAD" - Try it. You'll be fired.
"HOW TO VISIT THE WEB SITES YOUR COMPANY BLOCKS" - Go ahead, please. You must want to be fired.
You get the idea. - BLyn, on 10/10/2007, -4/+133I'm sorry, since when was Alt-Tab an IT secret?
- doctorperv, on 10/10/2007, -2/+101The list should be titled "Ten ways to piss off the IT guy".
- CDoug03, on 10/10/2007, -4/+8511) If you annoy us too much, we will make you change your password every week...
- Nougat, on 10/10/2007, -3/+701: Your company probably also has a limit on how much data your mailbox can contain, and since your ginormous file will go over that limit, too, you're still screwed.
2: We don't care if you use AIM. You're not allowed to install apps because you'll install some "free game" that goes on to infect the entire network with some malware.
3: Certain sites are blocked because the company has determined that they're a legal risk. When someone catches porn over your shoulder, the company may be liable for not preventing access to it from the company network. Cut it out.
4: Really, no one cares where you browse on your work laptop during off hours. Quit being so paranoid.
5: Are you kidding me? You want me to let you put confidential company information (sales contracts, customer data) on a third-party server? Go jump.
6: See 5.
7: Please, do go to https when using webmail. We don't care.
8: See 5.
9: Eh, Blackberry virus? Whatever.
10: This is the only thing in this article worth a damn. - IShouldBeWorkin, on 10/10/2007, -5/+69given the fact that statistically speaking there are more IT ppl on digg than most other professions...this doesnt strike me as a worthwhile thing to post, and will in fact lead to much warranted rants like shifty2's
- calu99, on 10/10/2007, -8/+69and you must be a true end user idiot.
- jennamalia, on 10/10/2007, -0/+48Yes, there is one word conspicuously absent from this article: policy.
- doctorperv, on 10/10/2007, -8/+51Oh and by the way.... YOUR WELCOME!!!!
- TheMidnight, on 10/10/2007, -6/+44im in ur workstation, bypassin ur policiez
- theOster, on 10/10/2007, -0/+37norton/symantec ghost - spyware comes in, users bitch, i just say "stand back" and WIPE! all better. oh was that your itunes collection, torrent client and weatherbug? sorry 'bout that.
- jayhawk88, on 10/10/2007, -3/+40Lol. You can almost see it happening right now.
Luser: OK, I'll just do a Google for "free proxy server"...Oh look here's one...Warez-R-Us...well that sounds nice, I'll just download this application here so I can use it... - gohoos, on 10/10/2007, -1/+32Or "Ten ways to get fired for violating IT policy"
- marko028, on 10/10/2007, -3/+34I found it funny how the article said "Rare Ideas LLC (RareIdeas.com), which offers free versions of popular programs such as Firefox and OpenOffice." when those programs are already free.....
- SilentJay74, on 10/10/2007, -6/+36BTW Shifty2 is my new hero. I have to agree with him. I have too GD many twelve o' clock flashers in my office for them to be trying this *****.
- cyclox, on 10/10/2007, -4/+34"TYPE IN ALL CAPS!" - FIRED!
- TriviallyTravis, on 10/10/2007, -9/+38That is actually a pretty good summary of why I decided a long time ago that it would be a stupid career move to get into IT.
- ditoa, on 10/10/2007, -0/+29The WSJ should know better than to publish an article like this. Company policies are there for a reason. You may not agree with them however you agreed to comply with them when you signed your contract (and most likely a separate network/computer use policy document).
While it is inevitable that a number of users will work around these policies publishing them to the world is irresponsible. Suggesting that users use third party services to transfer large files without a non-disclosure agreement? Create Outlook rules to forward documents to your personal email account? Explaining how to install third party software without authorising and/or checking license implications? This is totally unacceptable and putting the company as well as the person in a very difficult position. What if the users installs software that is not free for commercial use? Both the company and the user could face charges for software piracy. What if the person uploads a highly confidential document to YouSendIt and it gets publish on the internet? Not only could you lose your job but the company could lose a lot of money/credibility/etc because of it.
If you require to do something that is against your companies policies do the following; find out why it is against the policy, if you feel that the policy should be changed or that you feel that you should be an exception (do not think exceptions are uncommon, every company makes a lot of exceptions, the difference between them making an exception and you just doing it without checking is that they are aware of the exception to the rule). Then present this to your manager and request it is passed onto the IT department to be reviewed. A simple example is access to email from home. If you feel you need it, write up how it would benefit the business and yourself and present it. If it is declined just leave it. Don't find a way to work from home when your company clearly thinks you should not be doing so. All it will do is get you a bad reputation. - subliminalurge, on 10/10/2007, -3/+32Right on, shifty!
Every company needs a policy like the one I finally got implemented at my company. If you install something you shouldn't I'll come fix it. Sometime. When I have some spare time and when I damn well feel like it. Could be a few hours, could be a few weeks. (It helps to be nice to me on a regular basis.)
In the meantime, you are still responsible for doing your job. It doesn't matter if your computer is too hosed to be functional, you are still expected to have your work done on time. How? That's your ***** problem. Getting your work done late will still be held against you at your next review and factored into what, if any, raise you receive. If this becomes a serious performance issue for you, you might be let go.
Don't think this is a fair rule? Simple solution, don't do ***** you're not supposed to do. - usrlocalbin, on 10/10/2007, -4/+33Amen shifty, amen!
- NinjaBoy, on 10/10/2007, -2/+30If you don't get fired you wont ever get help from IT again.
Them: Hey my computers locked up
Me: Your the one that looks at pron and installed bonzi buddy
Them: uh...yeah that was me but the boss sai
*click* - SilentJay74, on 10/10/2007, -3/+30This article was sent straight to my CIO so I will not be fixing stupid ***** all day.
- meruru, on 10/10/2007, -3/+29"Anyone without a BlackBerry knows the feeling: There's a lull in the conversation when you're out to dinner or an after-work beer, and everyone reaches for their pocket to grab their BlackBerry, leaving you alone to stir your drink."
Sorry I'm not familiar with that feeling. - iamnos, on 10/10/2007, -2/+25and since when does alt-tab minimize/maximize windows? AFAIK, it just switches which window is in the foreground.
- NinjaBoy, on 10/10/2007, -3/+25How To: Get Fired.
"USE SOFTWARE THAT YOUR COMPANY WON'T LET YOU DOWNLOAD" - noodlez, on 10/10/2007, -1/+22i agree, though to a lesser degree. i wouldn't get fired for any of that stuff. but i'm sure there are people who would; thats just my employer's policy.
if the author (or anyone who reads this) really thinks that by doing #1, 2 or 4 will actually fool any good IT department (especially one who'll fire over internet misuse), they're in for a shock. and a pink slip. - Owned1Up, on 10/10/2007, -1/+21My company blocks every website mentioned, and I am willing to bet most others do to. This article is crap.
- megamahi, on 10/10/2007, -2/+21At least they are smart enough to use FTP. Our users asked for Zip Drives to be installed in their computers; ya know to make .zip files so they can send them over email.
/Also a few have stood over the fax machine waiting for a client to e-mail a document to them. - RainDrizzleFog, on 10/10/2007, -6/+25I believe you meant "can't read".
- notque, on 10/10/2007, -6/+25"The Trick: Use online services such as YouSendIt Inc., SendThisFile Inc. and Carson Systems Ltd.'s DropSend, which let you send large files -- sometimes up to a few gigabytes in size -- free of charge. To use the services, you typically have to register, supplying personal information such as name and email address. You can then enter the recipient's email address and a message to him or her, and the site will give you instructions for uploading the file. In most cases, the site will send the recipient a link that he or she can click to download the file."
The Truth: if you do this, your access will be revoked. if you do this with confidential material, you'll be fired.
2. HOW TO USE SOFTWARE THAT YOUR COMPANY WON'T LET YOU DOWNLOAD
If you do this, your access will be revoked, your computer will be locked out until you can schedule time with someone to fix this.
3. HOW TO VISIT THE WEB SITES YOUR COMPANY BLOCKS
Won't work at our company. You try to get too tricky with it, your access will be revoked.
4. HOW TO CLEAR YOUR TRACKS ON YOUR WORK LAPTOP
Flat wrong. We grab all of your data regularly. Clearing it won't help you at all.
5. HOW TO SEARCH FOR YOUR WORK DOCUMENTS FROM HOME
Do this, be revoked.
I'm tired now. You do this at our company, you'll be revoked within a week. This is a really really stupid article. - Anonymous99, on 10/10/2007, -2/+20you're
- sexybobo, on 10/10/2007, -2/+19Is any one else happy they don't have a BlackBerry. The last thing i want is to be checking email while i am out at lunch or dinner.
- trubbleshute, on 10/10/2007, -1/+16"HOW TO CLEAR YOUR TRACKS ON YOUR WORK LAPTOP"
Laughable, any sysadmin can tell what sites you're going to as well as what you are doing. We caught someone who watched roughly 4 hours of youtube a day, sent the person an email that said (paraphrase) you're using all our bandwidth, stop it. The person asked for proof
"5. HOW TO SEARCH FOR YOUR WORK DOCUMENTS FROM HOME"
It's called a VPN, I haven't seen a company that doesn't offer one. - shifty2, on 10/10/2007, -1/+16as far as emailing big files, most of not all decent sized companies should have an FTP server of their own. Since this is rare for my employees to email large files, I take the liberty of uploading the file to our in house ftp server, setup the folder permissions, create a temporary login for that folder, and email the details to the employee requesting the files. Once completed, I change the password of the login account.
it takes some effort, but its better and potentially more secure than using a third-party file hosting site. - captmorgan555, on 10/10/2007, -1/+15Screw that, hourly. Blame it on a new virus.
- r00t3d0ut, on 10/10/2007, -1/+15this should be titled, "10 things that your IT person should already know and--if not--they should be canned"
- ditoa, on 10/10/2007, -1/+15It should be labeled "Ten ways to ensure that your company has valid reasons to fire you".
- dptechie, on 10/10/2007, -2/+15"All three of our experts pointed to a company called Rare Ideas LLC (RareIdeas.com), which offers free versions of popular programs such as Firefox and OpenOffice." Since when was Firefox and OpenOffice not free?
- RainDrizzleFog, on 10/10/2007, -2/+15Hlep hlep my computr dun wurk!1
- Wargalas, on 10/10/2007, -5/+18If I catch my users doing this, they are immediately talking with HR. I run a tight ship and my network has never been penetrated or had a virus run rampant through it because of my policies. Screw with them and you're talking to human resources as to why you should still be allowed to have a job. I am liberal when it comes to certain policies such as the ability to check their webmail from work, surf personal sites and such, but if you actively circumvent my policies, it's your ass.
- Wavemancali, on 10/10/2007, -4/+16Buried as lame. I don't need my users trying to proxy around things I block for a reason. Virus definitions don't get updated the second the virus springs into existence. I know one day one of my lovely team will visit a web site that takes me down. While I'm prepared if it happens doesn't mean I invite it.
- eleventyat, on 10/10/2007, -2/+14Call me a luddite, but I like getting together with my friends without checking work e-mail. Just because you CAN be connected to the office at all times doesn't mean you SHOULD.
- Godlike, on 10/10/2007, -4/+16Really? Firefox goes out to the corporate firewall, hacks it with no interaction and removes your browsing history? Guess firefox is better than I thought.
- protogenxl, on 10/10/2007, -1/+13They left out one very important risk.
Immediate Termination for Violating the Company's Computer use Policy. - Godlike, on 10/10/2007, -3/+14When a zero day firefox exploit owns the hell out of your computer and IT figures out why, they are going to tell your Manager that you violated policy and that is why you cannot work for 3 days while your laptop is reimaged.
I had a guy on the phone once that totally screwed his laptop up trying to install something he thought was a program, which was actually a trojan. He attempted the install hundreds of times and finally called me begging for help. He even had his manager conferenced in to explain what a needed tool this was. When I explained that it was a virus and that Billy Joe there was going to be out of a laptop for days and that almost nothing was recoverable, good ol' Billy Joe got a real nice taste of why there even IS an IT department.
Seriously, even you people that think you know ANYTHING know NOTHING unless you have done the rock n' roll of helpdesk or deskside. Even you app support guys know CRAP about what people do to their machines. 3GB PST files? check. Installing viruses? Check. Pr0nz on t3h werk box? check, a hundred times, check.
We know. Trust me. We know. - peppino, on 06/03/2008, -1/+1210. HOW TO LOOK LIKE YOU'RE WORKING
You can practically sleep at your desk with this trick...
http://www.tradebit.com/usr/drummachine/pub/8/updates.swf
This is a good one too...
http://www.workfriendly.net/ - NinjaBoy, on 10/10/2007, -1/+12I havent heard 12 o clock flashers in for ever. I have sevral ID-10T's in my office
- OwlBoy, on 10/10/2007, -1/+11The only way I know of, be friendly with the IT guys.
- mutroniii, on 10/10/2007, -3/+13Beleive me, it's _a_lot_ harder to write and enforce policy in a larger organization.
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