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186 Comments
- dolemite5005, on 10/12/2007, -5/+277Just tell em you know HTML and they'll then ask you to "pimp out" their myspace page, in exchange for sex of course.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+207Unless you lie about it, you get back to your place, take off your pants, and she sees Visual Basic.
- merr, on 10/12/2007, -5/+168Yeah, I just stick to telling people "I make the Internet" and that's good enough for them. =P
- Otto, on 10/12/2007, -5/+133You're going to the wrong parties, dude.
- nyx210, on 10/12/2007, -6/+131I'd really impress the ladies with my LISP and my Smalltalk.
- waxesstatic, on 10/12/2007, -5/+129"Java!!!! I love Starbucks."
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -8/+120Marked as inaccurate. Programmers don't socialize.
;-) - shaun1018, on 10/12/2007, -5/+108Geek talking to a hot chick at a party about code language... that is as hypothetical as it gets.
- cliffzdude, on 10/12/2007, -2/+103Question: What do you do for a living?
Answer: Computer stuff.
If you tell the average person more they just look at you with a deer staring into headlights glaze. - picciano, on 10/12/2007, -0/+89"I'm a ________ programmer for a small software company."
That settles it. I will start coding in "RICH". - captainbeah, on 10/12/2007, -5/+88They got the C++ description right on.
- closertogod, on 10/12/2007, -4/+85You say "I am a programmer and I make lots of money." Then you have a fun night.
- Matteos, on 10/12/2007, -12/+90A geek GOING to any party... Very, very hypothetical.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -4/+77I feel sorry for all you programmers, I simply say I'm a doctor and leave with the girl...
- Snarfy, on 10/12/2007, -2/+65Yay exactly! Some of us geek guys want geek girls, not strippers.
- ikimashokie, on 10/12/2007, -3/+64The proper hot girl would reply:
"____? I never really liked that. ____ is so much better." - miniml, on 10/12/2007, -1/+61Perl Necklace
- joe90210, on 10/12/2007, -2/+53this is *****, no way will Python fail to impress the ladies.
- ThePikey, on 10/12/2007, -2/+52And your little applets.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+52Maybe they should be...
- theblueprint, on 10/12/2007, -6/+51The only language that impresses the ladies: Klingon.
- mcflynnthm, on 10/12/2007, -3/+47Time to learn Fortran.
- secondimpact, on 10/12/2007, -4/+47...I think theres a hole in your logic..
Not every girl at a party is a bikini model. - pkulak, on 10/12/2007, -1/+42I tell people I'm a fireman.
- treed, on 10/12/2007, -2/+41Just be careful who you talk about your love of SNOBOL with.
- Emery, on 10/12/2007, -7/+46I've got news for everyone... girls are not turned off by what geeky guys do, they're turned off by the geeky guy.
- CedEx, on 10/12/2007, -2/+40I just tell them I'm a professional keyboard operator.
- goldfenix, on 10/12/2007, -2/+37Wanna hang out? You sound like the kind of fun loving person that would be awesome to be bestest buddies with.
Well, until I had to stab myself in the ears to stop hearing your insane ramblings. - kcpwnsgman, on 10/12/2007, -1/+35dude, you used a multi line comment in a comment
step away from the IDE for one day =P - spamly, on 10/12/2007, -2/+30@Snarfy:
"SELECT * FROM users WHERE orginality > 0
1 row(s) returned." - ChumpChief, on 10/12/2007, -1/+28I had a friend describe one of her class project partners to me as being "interrupt driven"...
And yes, she's hot. - aceman118, on 10/12/2007, -1/+26That's assuming they have some basic hygiene and people skills. I don't care how much money you make; if you smell like ***** and act really weird no hot girl will like you.
- lynxpardinus, on 10/12/2007, -7/+31"I have interviewed 500 bikini models..."
Talk about hypothetical!
Buried as inaccurate, since there isn't a bulls*** tag - headzoo, on 10/12/2007, -9/+32Girl: What do you do?
Guy: I write software for a small company, and make a lot of money. Wanna do some blow?
Girl: Sure! Your place or mine?
See how easy that is? :) - mister711, on 10/12/2007, -3/+25What about SQL? I am not talking about DBA's but programmers that work in the "back end"
- spamly, on 10/12/2007, -6/+26I agree. I think I died a little reading that article.
- pytis, on 10/12/2007, -0/+20@Matteos
Except a LAN party... - DreKor, on 10/12/2007, -3/+21dugg for "fire-breathing ten-headed robots"
- Tawni, on 10/12/2007, -0/+18Tell me you are a programmer and I'll think you are completely hot!! Show me your mad programming skills and I'll end up under your desk in your pants.
- eliotmat, on 10/12/2007, -2/+19I would have believed your story if it went like this:
Me: Hey ... SUP? (nods head in a greet fashion).
Girl: EWwwww
Me: Ewww? What's that some kind of new dialect around here? I never heard that one...
Girl: gross.
Me: What ever floats your show boat...
Girl: ewwww...
Me: Get what? You're some kinda movie star or something?
Girl: get away from me...
Me: I don't think you're that hot...Well... Bottoms up! see you around.. (walk away...TRUST ME)
Girl: (tells her boyfriend about this gross nerd that tried to hit on her. They laugh about it. He goes home and ***** her. You go home and jack off to porn). - SwellGuy007, on 10/12/2007, -2/+19It's not the size of the packet, it's how the binary segment is formatted.
- Snarfy, on 10/12/2007, -6/+23"SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0
0 row(s) returned." - igotdugout, on 10/12/2007, -2/+18Buried as Inaccurate. Geeks only go to LAN parties.
- rip747, on 10/12/2007, -2/+17When a girl asks me what I do for a living, I just say about 110K. Numbers impress them more than anything.
- DreKor, on 10/12/2007, -1/+16you are a credit to TransAMs and frosted tips everywhere
- noamsml, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15@Snarfy
So true! I wish I could digg you ten times. - washcapsfan37, on 10/12/2007, -2/+16Start talking in LISP and they might think you like rainbows and musical theater too much. Then you're labeled as "Only Friends" forever.
- noamsml, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15Some people just like to sound more literate than they are. I remember my school librarian, who instructed everyone to use Google's advanced search page for something that can be solved with a simple set of quotes. When I pointed this out, she exploded and spouted something about her being the experts and seeing many people with Doctorates use this way. A few weeks late, when the school's internet connection went down, I asked her about it and she opened IE and told me with a confident voice that everything was OK as soon as the splash screen appeared.
- ts8lemonade, on 10/12/2007, -4/+17What about Java? I assume the mentioning of Java ends in a torrid night of wild, kinky sex.
- rspeed, on 10/12/2007, -2/+14Most of the hot chicks I know would understand what PHP meant. Some of them can even write a bit.
But then again, most of the hot chicks I know also love Star Trek... -
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