What is Digg?133 Comments
- foolfromhell, on 10/12/2007, -26/+130This is not blogspam.
The author of the blog made the lost himself, and submitted it by himself.
He deserves whatever comes out of the ads since he is the original author. - Phil246, on 10/12/2007, -36/+127To bypass the blatant blogspam for everyone else :
20. "That's weird..."
19. "It's never done that before."
18. "It worked yesterday."
17. "How is that possible?"
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in your data."
13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
12. "You must have the wrong version."
11. "It's just some unlucky coincidence."
10. "I can't test everything!"
9. "THIS can't be the source of THAT."
8. "It works, but it hasn't been tested."
7. "Somebody must have changed my code."
6. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"
5. "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?
4. "You can't use that version on your system."
3. "Why do you want to do it that way?"
2. "Where were you when the program blew up?"
1. "It works on my machine" - Phil246, on 10/12/2007, -2/+77no - http://www.thatwasfunny.com/top-20-programmers-excuses/239
he - http://www.thehumorarchives.com/joke/Top_20_programers_excuses
didnt. - http://www.gshotts.com/HUMOR/preplies.htm
Do a google search for " top 20 excuses programmer " or " top 20 replies programmer " and it comes up with MANY results, including those.
For all three, there are existing google caches dating back to around 20th november. The third result has a last updated timestamp in 2004. So yes, it IS blogspam tyvm - Anthet, on 10/12/2007, -4/+60Hillarious, every programmer will more then likely recognize themselfs in one of the posts.
- jackminardi, on 10/12/2007, -12/+61@ afx1
You are mean, that is why you were dugg down.
I hope you have learned your lesson. - webcrumb, on 10/12/2007, -6/+52PEBKAC
- bennyboy371, on 10/12/2007, -2/+41Number one is so true...
- SonicRush, on 10/12/2007, -2/+383. "Why do you want to do it that way?"
Probably the AOL support line motto - valkyries, on 10/12/2007, -7/+42you usually get some pissant program that cant work itself out of a wet paper bag.
there is no such thing as a programming mistake, just undocumented features. - nofxjunkee, on 10/12/2007, -1/+36In just one? Maybe my code is too buggy... ;-)
- mc7winkie, on 10/12/2007, -5/+39I hope the description Gods have mercy on your soul for your half-assed description.
- SeBBBe, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3420. "That's weird..."
ROFL!!! That one should be number one. If I'd gotten a cent every time I said that :-P - Phil246, on 10/12/2007, -1/+30or "its fixed in cvs" ?
- spaceblink, on 10/12/2007, -1/+26How could the title be any MORE descriptive?
- TroubleInMind, on 10/12/2007, -2/+15Q: "I want to do x using y. Is there a way I can do it?"
Me: "Yes"
Q: "How?"
Me: "Do you have a billing code for the hour it will take me to explain it to you?"
Q: "Okay, how much would it cost?"
Me: "I have no idea."
Q: "Okay, but it's possible, right?"
Me: "Yes, theoretically."
Q: "So what should I tell the client?"
Me: "Tell them that given the theoretical concept of unlimited time and resources, anything is possible."
Q: "Why do you endlessly ***** with me?"
Me: "That was my next question for you. If you want a change order or a bid, bring it to me in writing. Don't lean on my desk for an hour and then bitch because I didn't have time to get my work done." - Tanpreet, on 10/12/2007, -2/+15this brings back memories of what i say to my computer science teacher
- TheNik, on 10/12/2007, -0/+12Shouldn't "We have known about this bug and are currently working to fix it." be on the list? :P
- blapierre, on 10/12/2007, -2/+13That's your job though.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+13programming is for the Gods, QA is for people who can't program.
- Moopy, on 10/12/2007, -5/+16The list should be in reverse, 2-20 and then 1.
- SpazticChips, on 10/12/2007, -2/+11lol, your avatar is the backwards of mine...
- postitnote, on 10/12/2007, -5/+15I highly doubt that he is the original poster, seeing as how I've seen this list several times before.
- mapkinase, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9Actually, "did you submit it?" is quite often used response.
"Give me your input files".
"What is the version of your RedHat".
"Did you try to clean the cache?"
"Were you able to reproduce it?"
But those responses are more legit than excuses (which the original list should have been called anyway). - brhad56, on 10/12/2007, -8/+17ID10T error.
- compu73rg33k, on 10/12/2007, -4/+13Agreed. I think I'm guilty of at least half haha. :)
- Canthiar, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8Testing shouldn't be an "us" against "them". If a programmer needs to know when a problem started happening it helps him or her narrow down what might be the cause of the problem.
The best testers that I've ever worked with are the ones that are patient and willing to help reproduce a problem or to help narrow it down. If the tester only has an interest in finding the bugs and doesn't really care about fixing them it makes life harder on the programmers. - willcode4beer, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8yea, but no 2 should be, "that's not in the requirements"
- D3koy, on 10/12/2007, -13/+21your face is the stupidest face i've ever seen........
Sorry i couldn't resist, Digg me down if you want - fooslayer, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8Okay, funny list and stuff, but the real situation in my experience is that a programmer will often say one of the things on the list there as an attempt to start mentally narrowing down where the problem lies. If it works on his machine, why is him pointing that out seen as stupid/comical? Clearly he thinks there's something different between your machine and his. This shouldn't imply blame - just a fact that should be investigated.
Debugging is the art of finding differences between the configuration that works and the one that doesn't. Most of the replies on the list are off-the-cuff attempts to narrow down where the problem might be. If you take it personally as a tester, then you're an idiot. If you as a programmer honestly believe that giving a glib response gets you off the hook, then you're an idiot. - jackminardi, on 10/12/2007, -6/+13i love you
- Snuffub, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7On the flip side here are a couple things I've heard from my tester.
1. "I swear it happens every time you're not looking at it."
2. "No I wasnt running it under a kernel debugger while testing. You need that?"
And here's a dev's response to the list.
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
Sometimes it is a hardware problem. Bad ram can cause false NX bit failures.
15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"
you mean the tester didnt include what he did to create the crash? that's pretty ***** testing.
14. "There is something funky in your data."
if the tester manually corrupts the program's data a graceful failure isnt a bug. the whole idea behind bug checking is if a system gets in a state that it doesnt recognize it should shutdown gracefully rather than doing something that could cause more harm.
13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
12. "You must have the wrong version."
I've had testers forget to copy testing binaries onto their machine then promptly report that the fix didnt actually address the problem.
9. "THIS can't be the source of THAT."
Sometimes a tester has to realize that they've found a new bug. if I test a change which flips two bits to change the background color, and during the test the tester finds some input which breaks some string parsing he's got to make a judgement call on whether it's related to the change or whether it's a whole new bug.
6. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"
I've never seen this myself but a hang can be caused by a deadlock due to some out of control program. If the system hangs a tester shouldnt tell the dev "it hung" they should do some initial investigation to say "it hung because it was waiting for the loader lock while program X was holding it.
2. "Where were you when the program blew up?"
Again. If the tester doesnt have all the information about how he got the program to blow up then he's not doing his job. - nofxjunkee, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7If a link to any other site with the list on it was posted it I would have laughed just as much, and dugg it just the same. It's new to me.
- jacenat, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7"5. Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?"
is by far the best :) - PolyVector, on 10/12/2007, -4/+10Not everyone can be as skilled as a... tester...
I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth.
As I was saying... I've been driving for years and those assclowns who design hybrid engines are like sooooo totally dumb. - rnelsonee, on 10/12/2007, -2/+7I've probably used half of those. FWIW, we do have hardware problems a lot (my software interfaces with prototype hardware). The "works on my machine" is my favorite. My computer is my testbench. If my program doesn't work at your location, clearly you need to just mirror my hard drive :)
- TroubleInMind, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5Agreed and no offense intended. There are project managers I work with that I will spend hours with, brainstorming ways to make clients happy. I have spent whole weekends writing up documents for marketing people to use to close deals. Working with professionals is wonderful.
But for every pro, there are four guys that believe implementation is trivial on the front side, writing checks with their mouths that I have to cash at the keyboard. And there are also two testers who double the length of the dev cycle. One of those guys measures his importance by how many tickets he opens in Bugzilla. He will take a bug, break it into eight bugs, and file tickets on every one of them. The other guy never reads anything and files bugs based on his imagined spec of how things should work that have no basis in the requirements docs.
Bring on the pros. This is web two point oh, right? That means we should be twice as effing smart by now. - spiffytech, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6@afx1: I work as a sysadmin, and we have problems when some clients try to set up their email client to connect to our email server. We have hundreds of other people who use the email system with no problem, and I can successfully test their account on my computer. If it works on my machine, that means:
1. I can't figure out what you did wrong without looking at your computer. I know that it's you that did something wrong because...
2. If it works anywhere at all, the problem is on your email client. Period. - blapierre, on 10/12/2007, -7/+12Testers are the real clowns.
- secretivecoward, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5I think i've used a few of them during sex...
- babayada, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6This reminds me of all the crap other programmers will say when you ask for help on a given programming issue. If they don't know the answer, they'll bend over backwards to prevent their lack of knowledge on the issue from being exposed... even if its something that you wouldn't necessarily expect them to know and there is no shame in not knowing it.
You ask, "I want to do x using y. Is there a way I can do it?" Instead of getting a clear answer like, "Yes, here's how..." or "No, to the best of my knowledge you can't, and here's why..." or even "I have no idea," you get: "Why on earth would you want to do that?" or "That's stupid." or "That library/api/method is for this and this, not that" or "You shouldn't even be using library/api/function/whatever, it ***** sucks." - madeingermany, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5While your post is surely funny, if programmers were gods, you wouldn't need QA.
To my experience, programmers that test their own code suck at it.
Of course nobody studies CS thinking, man I'm going to be the god of QA.
But to automated testing of complex software, you need more then just a failed programmer. - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4The number 1 question asked by testers at my work is "How do I test this?"
Thats YOUR job. - Tyr86, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5
"It must be user error."
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/frustrations/59fe/ - joshguy1425, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Having an idea of when the bug appeared is *immensely* helpful...
@bigteebo
Attitudes like yours are what cause buggy software. :P - AhmedB, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Or "I know exactly what's causing this, let me fix it in a minute"
- headzoo, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5"What did you do?" (i.e. are you just stupid or something?)
- nesquik, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Agreed, personally I start with 20 then follow it with 1 through 19.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3At the tender age of 14, I landed a job as a beta tester for a now-prominent game developer. Whenever I turned in a new bug report the programmers would tell me, "Go f*ck yourself!" Guess that must've been #21.
- inkubux, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3so true I use theses all the time. but my favorite is:
It works in firefox.. -
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