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106 Comments
- Dankoozy, on 04/04/2009, -8/+75A real programmer is someone who can write a fully featured OS with nothing but a set of punch cards and a needle.
- nikpappagiorgio, on 04/04/2009, -2/+69God I hate bad programmers.
- Foamator, on 04/04/2009, -1/+610. CSI Programmer. Your job is to make a GUI Interface in Visual Basic, to see if you can track an IP.
- 12Iceman, on 04/04/2009, -2/+58"Very few programmers ever achieve this level in their own lifetimes.
Examples: Dijkstra, Knuth, Kay
----
WTF Knuth is still alive. This article sucks."
Which is why he is an example of the few who achieved this level in their lifetime. - dafragsta, on 04/04/2009, -2/+53A real programmer creates his own medium out of rocks, builds his own processor out of pullies and twine and writes his own OS that runs a fully rich multimedia desktop OS on them, all the while maintaining the level cap on 8 characters in WoW.
- PlancksCnst, on 04/04/2009, -6/+46Lame
- najdorf, on 04/04/2009, -0/+34Rocks?! You had rocks? We used to dreeeeeaaam of rocks. All l ever wanted for christmas was a rock. But did l get one, no! We had sub-atomic particles of proto-matter and we were LUCKY to have that. We had to flick electrons one by one trying to make them spin in the right direction or our whole system would collapse, creating quantum gaps and space time discrepancies. And boy believe me, those were a mess to clean up.
- tgc1, on 04/05/2009, -1/+34The Eight Levels of Digg Articles....
1. Internet Memes
2. LOLCATS
3. Tech News
4. Government News
5. Conspiracies
6. Design Articles
7. Cancer Cures
8. Top 10 Lists - pstroll, on 04/04/2009, -0/+270. The Burnout - Gray beard, twice divorced, estranged kids, broke, pot belly, chain smoker, alcoholic, plays lottery daily. Endlessly stares into his terminal session with cold glazed eyes. He never goes for lunch with any of his coworkers nor is he to be seen at the office Christmas party. Usually gets *****-canned the same day the mainframe, which contains entire life's work, is hauled away to the scrap heap and has a heart attack after his unemployment runs out.
His only last impression on this earth will be a reference to his extension buried in a support manual.
- varchar255, on 04/04/2009, -3/+24From the original post:
I meant "Dead Programmer" figuratively, not literally.
As in "people will remember you after you're.."
Sheesh.
Jeff Atwood on April 3, 2009 08:03 AM - mcbutterbuns, on 04/05/2009, -0/+19Don't be so hard on yourself. You'll get better.
Just kidding ;) - GelfTheElf, on 04/04/2009, -1/+19Umm.. no mention of Kernighan & Richie?
One day I saw Brian Kernighan round house kick Chunk Norris while holding Mr. T in a head lock. I think he even beat up Buzz Aldrin too. - cubicledrone, on 04/05/2009, -1/+17The levels of programming:
1. BASIC
2. Perl
3. C
4. Laid off and replaced by someone your manager has never met.
If you can deliver working applications, start your own company. American employers are too irresponsible and immature to pay you what you're worth. - pearlygate, on 04/04/2009, -14/+29Dead Programmer
This is the highest level. Your code has survived and transcended your death. You are a part of the permanent historical record of computing. Other programmers study your work and writing. You may have won a Turing Award, or written influential papers, or invented one or more pieces of fundamental technology that have affected the course of programming as we know it. You don't just have a wikipedia entry -- there are entire websites dedicated to studying your life and work.
Very few programmers ever achieve this level in their own lifetimes.
Examples: Dijkstra, Knuth, Kay
----
WTF Knuth is still alive. This article sucks. - praisethelard, on 04/04/2009, -0/+15Hey, job security.
- jamesassbag, on 04/04/2009, -6/+21This is a lousy article. Buried
- irisblaze, on 04/05/2009, -2/+130. Lazy Programmers, programmers who have lots of ideas, knowledge and skill but they'd rather play games and surf the internet
:( - mrBitch, on 04/05/2009, -0/+11Nice, you are obviously using the butterfly pic to reference this bit of genius from XKCD re "real programmers" :
http://xkcd.com/378/
" Real programmers use butterflies... " - generalalcazar, on 04/04/2009, -0/+10Oh man - that made me laugh out loud.
- jamauss, on 04/04/2009, -9/+19Jeff Atwood is a bad programmer.
- Phi01, on 04/05/2009, -0/+8I swear.. i'll start programming tomorrow... just a few more games of cs 1.6 :D
- leetdood, on 04/05/2009, -3/+11It'd be nice if you back up that claim instead of just throwing it out there.
- lolmax, on 04/05/2009, -0/+8one of my best friends is the only programmer I know, and I kind of just assume he is a damn good one judging by his level of obsession. Here is what I now think you need to qualify as a great programmer:
1. unhealthy obsessions with cigarettes and/or coffee
2. several computers that dont work, several that do
3. subpar personal hygiene
4. disdain for common computer users
5. minimal patience - inactive, on 04/05/2009, -2/+9kevin rose is a bad programmer
- theodenking, on 04/05/2009, -0/+7@eruanno
Because it's not funny. - gritta, on 04/05/2009, -0/+7<Whiney female reporter voice>
Joe Smith may look like an ordinary farmer, but he's created something quite remarkable in his spare time. Joe has created an engine which works on just water! Joe's incredible invention works by using radio waves to heat up the water!
</Whiney female reporter voice>
<Joe>
Yup, works great, just one small snitch I'm trying to iron out at the moment; it uses up more energy than it generates..
</Joe>
Science fail. - psykiv, on 04/05/2009, -2/+8real programmer: http://twistedphysics.typepad.com/cocktail_party_p ...
- IllBeBack, on 04/05/2009, -0/+5I believe that you are owing me $4,962.75. Kindly submit the money to me at this time to resolve the issue.
Kindly do not reply to my comment if I am in error.
Otherwise, kindly do the needful in getting the money to me at this time. - mrBitch, on 04/05/2009, -1/+6@ najdorf RE: "Rocks?! You had rocks? We used to dreeeeeaaam of rocks. All l ever wanted for christmas was a rock. But did l get one, no! We had sub-atomic particles of proto-matter and we were LUCKY to have that.
We had to flick electrons one by one trying to make them spin in the right direction or our whole system would collapse, creating quantum gaps and space time discrepancies. And boy believe me, those were a mess to clean up."
If you just wrote that from thoughts wooshing around in your own head, then you are a genius. +1 to you, good sir. - Rudegar, on 04/04/2009, -2/+7visual basic is the new member of the axis of evil!
- danr2c2, on 04/05/2009, -0/+5What do you call a programmer who can program my microwave to make a frozen burrito hot and ready to eat?
A Hungry Programmer!
=/ Lame joke, I know... - mcprogrammer, on 04/05/2009, -1/+6Bill Gates started Microsoft by writing a BASIC interpreter, so he can definitely program. I don't know enough about DHH or Bill Gates as programmers to comment on their "level".
- stuffradio, on 04/05/2009, -0/+5Nonononononononono
1. LOLCATS
2. Internet Memes
3. Tech News
4. Religion bashing
5. Government News
6. Conspiracies
7. Cancer Cures
8. Hottest girl awards - phenom2k7, on 04/05/2009, -0/+4I don't program and even I know that's ***** hilarious.
- PhoenixAvatar2, on 04/04/2009, -1/+5Wow. I was just completely distracted by that Twisted Sister video. I'm so happy that I didn't grow up in the 80s.
- eruanno, on 04/05/2009, -0/+4why bury this one? it's true, i'd put emphasis on the "without making it overly or underly complicated or designed", and the actually being able to deliver bit...
- coldskool, on 04/05/2009, -0/+4$1k says you smoke weed too
- gbhall, on 04/05/2009, -0/+4I was expecting an article on what each level would know and be able to do...
- Metasquares, on 04/05/2009, -0/+4Oh, come on. You know that in most companies, if someone asked you where you wanted to be in 5 years and you answered "writing a textbook on algorithms", you'd be far less likely to get the job than someone who said "aspiring to a managerial role within the corporation". Most employers wouldn't know a Knuth or Dijkstra if they fell into their laps. They'd perceive them as stubborn, theoretical, arrogant loners who lack any sense of practicality. They would accuse them of "having poor work ethic", "not being a team player", etc.
- inactive, on 04/04/2009, -1/+5His last three articles have sucked terribly, especially the maths one. He's definitely nuked the fridge.
- depaulBaatar, on 04/05/2009, -1/+5I was not aware Gates was ever a programmer. According to Wikipedia, he actually was a programmer, but this was only mentioned when he was about age 13 doing BASIC.
- Metasquares, on 04/05/2009, -0/+4And a really bad programmer can't even write the loop. You haven't seen just how bad it can get until you teach...
- liam1, on 04/05/2009, -0/+3@mrBitch, sounds like a highly edited quote from Monty Python to me ;)
- stuffradio, on 04/05/2009, -0/+3Knuth is dead to the article writer, say no more!
- crzdmn, on 04/05/2009, -0/+3i cringe every time i hear those words...
- WoollyMittens, on 04/05/2009, -0/+3Yay! I'm at level 5. :) I get people to use my code, be it using a lot of force.
I only trust programmers who can do their job using notepad and a compiler in an emergency. - IllBeBack, on 04/05/2009, -0/+3No weed in your list. It has to be at least like #4 man... 4:20 at least, right?
- GrooTheWanderer, on 04/05/2009, -0/+3I tried that, but I found it's all about who has more money to pay Google.
- lolmax, on 04/05/2009, -0/+3I have something very vital to disclose to your mom
- r00fus, on 04/05/2009, -0/+3s/Dead/Legendary/
If you do that simple replace, that part of the article makes tons of sense. -
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