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131 Comments
- chumpsucker, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8811, program an online dating site, matching your profile to every member of the opposite sex (have it show up as the first result in any query they perform). They have no choice but to date you!
- KevenM, on 10/10/2007, -4/+62Reject all potential girlfriends who's names end in .JPG
- binorgog, on 08/07/2008, -0/+471. Go to the mens room
2. Tap your foot in binary code. - championchap, on 10/10/2007, -1/+42MySpace Tom.
- fluidfoundation, on 10/10/2007, -2/+40Learn2Sex
- bonarez, on 10/10/2007, -0/+27unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep
sounds like sex to me - IShouldBeWorkin, on 10/10/2007, -4/+28SELECT * FROM Users WHERE Sex LIKE 'Female' AND Disgust < 1
- Azimuth1, on 10/12/2007, -0/+23I don't get it, I've been following all of these for years and I'm still alone.
- SpyDerMann, on 10/10/2007, -1/+23Empty set (0.04 sec)
- sr3yas, on 10/10/2007, -3/+20Do I detect a note of SARCASM?
- fungule, on 10/10/2007, -6/+23List.Humor = 0;
- aB0z, on 10/10/2007, -1/+14There you have it - all the geek/nerd stereotypes on one page.
I think my method is better - find a woman you love and marry her. - zeromancer, on 10/10/2007, -3/+15another blog stereotyping the computer programmers of the 80s and 90s. it's simply not true anymore. ive been programming for 8 or 9 years now and I played football and baseball for 14 years. you'd never guess by looking at me that i knew what programming was. isn't about time to drop this lame stereotype?
- skyfire1, on 10/10/2007, -0/+11That's morse code.
- AriaStar, on 10/10/2007, -2/+13Be born a girl.
- Uoila, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1110 Ways a Programmer Can !(Improve His or Her Sex Life)
- dicerandom, on 10/10/2007, -4/+14It would be funnier if the author was capable of distinguishing between programmers, web developers, unix admins and Apple fan boys rather than just clumping them all into one group.
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+11He should be depressed. He has both the least number of new friend adds and the biggest number of defriends on Myspace.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -3/+12"Wear the same Star Trek shirt every single day."
I do this and STILL no sex, oh wait I'm not a programmer... - FRANKeB, on 10/10/2007, -1/+10Go outside?
- tomee, on 10/10/2007, -1/+9And go for .GIF instead? Are you crazy?
- championchap, on 10/10/2007, -1/+9.png is where it's at.
though i do like me some smooth vector curves.. yum! - KayDex86, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7it would improve my sex life if girls where a bit more "open source".
- sundancekid503, on 10/10/2007, -2/+9For programmers this is more accurate:
10 put it in
20 pull it out
30 end - sundancekid503, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7LIKE 'Female' ?? Haha... You didn't use a wildcard there so you should be safe, but still be careful of those that are LIKE '%Female%'. I'd use = in the future.
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7If 'Users' has 6 Billion rows, I would like a list of your MySQL optimizations.
- ColinCampbell, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8But you are on Digg, and as everyone well knows, no one on Digg gets laid. Ever.
- dakilla91, on 10/10/2007, -2/+911. If he or she is unattractive press ALT + F4 repeatedly.
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Unless you are married, then you see it once every blue moon.
- subxero37, on 10/10/2007, -1/+6sleep might be, but as far as I know, they're all just standard UNIX-like utilities. And it's "umount" - I always hated how much awkward abbreviation there is. Can't type that extra N, canya?
- DarKnight90, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5But she doesn't enjoy it.
- kensavage, on 10/10/2007, -3/+8and for the super n00b this couldn't hurt either:
http://www.kensavage.com/index.php/archives/how-to-have-sex/ - tHePeOPle, on 10/10/2007, -2/+7I second that. ***** diggs comment system.
- ebcreasoner, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5Seriously, who the ***** is Tom?
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -2/+7Bottom line is - if you don't think the stereotype is true, then you went to a pretty bad school.
- richardiscool, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4exit;
- crazychris007, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4I laughed out loud. I am actually out right now, doing some programming with my backpack that has the stomach strap and has an extra battery, my headphones, power supply, mouse, mousepad, tons of other stuff, and guess what? 2 effing bananas!!!! that banana thing was just awesome for me.
- skyfire1, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4.PNG is where it's at.
- mercurysquad, on 10/10/2007, -1/+52nd step is flawed.
- kodek, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3it's "umount" :D
btw Tishiablo, they're not functions. They're shell commands. - IShouldBeWorkin, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3LIKE 'Female' is close enough....cmon, beggars cant be choosers.
perhaps
WHERE Sex = 'Female' OR Op = 'Post' would suit you better? lol - johnnysaucepn, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Women like a man who's sensitive, but not case-sensitive.
- pcpimpster, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3heel tap is a zero while toes tap is a one. Now... GO!
- Subterfug, on 10/10/2007, -0/+311. Run like a penguin
12. Always quote comic books or nerdy shows that nobody else watches but you. - thesparrowband, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3"Since this will be your first time unfortunately it will be over pretty quickly" lulz
- DropTheOxygen, on 10/10/2007, -2/+5wow, ***** diggs comment system
To summarize what you cant see.
If you're dates fat. say how about another drink.
else.
say let find some place quieter.
Once again. ***** diggs comment system - inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+410 put it in
20 pull it out
30 goto 10 - jlebrech, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4Shouldn't there be a programming language called sexlife?
- trilobite, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3"wear the same star trek uniform every day"
it worked for captain kirk. -
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