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419 Comments
- nixonrichard, on 10/12/2007, -10/+1930I would be glad to let Sheryl Crow try to wipe my ass with just one square of toilet paper. Not all of us have dainty little poopers like her. When I take a dump I WRECK the toilet. It's not some delicate process which leaves only a small speck of feces on the corner of my anus. It's like a freaking M-80 detonated in a bowl of brownie batter. So, please, by all means, TRY to wipe my ass with one square Sheryl . . . I'll be more than happy to sit naked on your new white couch afterwards.
- Sep11insidejob, on 11/06/2007, -28/+660Sometimes I wipe with like 40 pieces and as I am wiping, my finger goes right through the paper and ends up in my ass.
I hate it when I end up with stinky pinkie - qasabah, on 10/12/2007, -3/+406The only time one square is ever enough is when you have one of those "ghost" poops where you know the poop in the toilet is yours but you can't prove it because of a lack of evidence on the paper.
- PATSCRU, on 10/12/2007, -5/+329@nixonrichard and sep11insidejob:
Those are quite possibly the two nastiest posts i've ever seen on digg, and strangely, they are more effective than 99% of digg posts i read. - ray901, on 10/12/2007, -4/+304I can get by with a single square ....as long as it is 3' * 3'
- LanceArmstrong, on 10/12/2007, -30/+248Sheryl can suck my ball.
- djSyndrome, on 10/12/2007, -4/+212Regardless of the degree of truth involved, I think Nixonrichard just won Digg for the day.
- smithro1984, on 10/12/2007, -0/+200Even when i do have a MIRACLE "one wipe wonder", its never one sheet because ive folded it over 2-3 times.
- doctorcaligari, on 10/12/2007, -2/+181I guess we now know why Lance Armstrong dumped her...it's stanky down there!
- Lord_oftheTrons, on 10/12/2007, -3/+140Look at her other brilliant idea:
"I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product."
I'll be sure to pick one of those up. Now its cool too look like a complete slob at dinner. Are the exhaust pipes from that bio-diesel bus being pumped right back into the bus? - nstanosheck, on 10/12/2007, -3/+135Obviously Sheryl Crow's butt stinks.
And how the heck are they going to enforce this law? Cameras in the toilet? - implied, on 10/12/2007, -5/+135Someone please slap this dumb bitch
- digg5, on 10/12/2007, -4/+129Silly hippie, paper is renewable.
- dognose, on 10/12/2007, -1/+120because toilet paper is the biggest contributer to global warming? Please! There are so many better things to tackle. Driving, big monster houses and a disposable society in general. TP is not the problem!
Take a look at her touring requirements:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/scrow/scrow1.html - southwestnut, on 10/12/2007, -2/+114You could get by with using one sheet.......
of Bounty, which has the texture of 40 grit sandpaper - brokekneck, on 10/12/2007, -6/+114I'm with nixon on this one. It takes atleast 3 flush's since the switch to low-flow toliets. And 4/5 I have to use a plunger at the end.
- NickMilne, on 10/12/2007, -4/+104Her "dining sleeve" idea is retarded. We had those: they were called "handkerchiefs."
- Easty, on 10/12/2007, -12/+105It's not a problem if you've mastered the ninja ***** like I have.
No wiping necessary.
A skill worthy of inclusion in Herculean legend. - teadrinker, on 10/12/2007, -2/+89Hmm. Let's see. Toilet paper - usually made from recycled paper. Furthermore, almost all paper comes from tree farms. Furthermore, most oxygen is generated by algae, not trees.
Yup. What we see here a usual case of an idiot rich tree hugger joiner. The one that pays/tells others to hug a tree. Oh and I bet she is using some of that deluxe stuff, which contains enough fibers for 10 normal sheets.
Meanwhile, I will use the amount of paper that is a balance between what I can afford and what gets my ass clean. And since paper is cheap, I always end up choosing a clean ass. That usually makes for 6-10 sheets normal. - sinembarg0, on 03/23/2008, -1/+81Way to get more diggs with your comment than the story did.
- raynar, on 10/12/2007, -4/+81When I finish takin a dump, my butt's calling ME the *****.
- bpapa, on 10/12/2007, -0/+77These are the best nested comments in Digg's history.
- LanceArmstrong, on 10/12/2007, -2/+77Done.
- qasabah, on 10/12/2007, -0/+75Maybe we she can invent a "Wipe-Glove" that can be used in the bathroom, washed and reused in the same vein as her "Wipe-Sleeve" accessory for fine dining.
- AZTriGuy, on 10/12/2007, -0/+75To quote the original Man Show ads that spoke about the great things about being a man,
"The pride that comes when you have to flush twice..." - GuyHersh, on 10/12/2007, -1/+73I find it funny that nixonrichard has quite a bit for more diggs than the article does..
- MaynardJK, on 10/12/2007, -2/+71@obijohn
"My wife grabs a coupla handfulls when she PEES, much less the "other" business."
You lie. Women don't poop. The look at themselves in the mirror for five minutes. - merdiesel, on 10/12/2007, -3/+67"Can you spare a square?"
"no I don't have a square to spare, I can't spare a square." - tizz66, on 10/12/2007, -0/+58"Yes but how does a blind person know when they're done wiping?"
What do you think the guide dog is for? ;) - MrSketch, on 10/12/2007, -4/+60@dhalsim007: "Automatic mechanical toilet paper dispensers that dispense one square at a time. Argh! Anyone know how to hack those?"
I hear it involves more swearing. - somnambulator, on 10/12/2007, -12/+66Dear Mr. nixonrichard,
First I laughed and turned red, then I became silent and turned purple, I lost the ability to breath, my stomach became rigid and I farted, plus I think a few blood vessels burst in there somewhere.
Thank you, there is nothing as funny as a good poo joke. - fluxion, on 10/12/2007, -1/+55i dont know what kind of badass gold-plated toilet paper sheryl crow uses to wipe her buttcheeks, but 1, or 2, or 3 squares isnt gonna do anything but get doodoo all over your hands.
- obijohn, on 10/12/2007, -1/+54There is no way on earth a woman could write that and be serious. My wife grabs a coupla handfulls when she PEES, much less the "other" business.
- flashboy131, on 10/12/2007, -2/+55nixonrichard
post of the year. LOL - yourfavweapn, on 10/12/2007, -2/+53wait a minute....sheryl crow had credibility?
- Charlotte_Web, on 10/12/2007, -4/+55... was going to post a comment, but honestly, I can't top the story itself... :-P
- Dhalsim007, on 10/12/2007, -0/+46I can see it now. Automatic mechanical toilet paper dispensers that dispense one square at a time. Argh! Anyone know how to hack those?
- twinklyJesus, on 10/12/2007, -1/+42No, he's suggesting her lifestyle might be a little hypocritical. You should use only one square of TP, drive a shoe box sized car with a vibrating bed motor and live in a fish bowl, while she arrives in style, demands services and exotic oddities, is chauffeured around in limos and SUVs, or makes use of large armies of polluting gas/diesel guzzling trucks and cars.
In other words, do as she says, not as she does. - doctechnical, on 10/12/2007, -4/+43Does anyone have Sheryl's address? I want to send her a case of corncobs.
I'll get you back to nature, darlin'. Bend over. - TheKillDoctor, on 10/12/2007, -1/+41Yes but how does a blind person know when they're done wiping?
- UGM2099, on 10/12/2007, -2/+41Everyone here needs to get those flushable wipes, the ones that are just like baby wipes but meant for adults. It will change your life.
- littlebylittle, on 10/12/2007, -2/+41One square? That's gross.
- dreicher, on 10/12/2007, -0/+37Toilet paper? Why aren't you all using 3 seashells?
- Jwoey, on 10/12/2007, -3/+39I totally think america should adopt the use of a bidet.
I mean, think about it. If you ate spaghetti for dinner you wouldn't even think of wiping your plate with a thinner-than-paper 3x3 inch piece of TP and then put it back in the cabinet, would you?
No! You wash it with soap and water first! - tizz66, on 10/12/2007, -1/+36"Maybe we she can invent a "Wipe-Glove" that can be used in the bathroom, washed and reused in the same vein as her "Wipe-Sleeve" accessory for fine dining."
Just don't get them mixed up... - GraceMolloy, on 10/12/2007, -3/+37Maybe if I had a Bidet and only needed the one square to dry myself. but then I would just use a towel would I? So, even less paper used.
Seriously, she's hot and rich, but generally hot/rich people should keep their damned mouthes shut as they haven't had to live like a *real* person in YEARS ... if ever. - proliance, on 10/12/2007, -1/+34Sheryl Crow is not allowed to speak for those of us with hairy asses.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+34I think that's the first time I've seen more digg ups on a comment, than on the article itself!
- member57, on 10/12/2007, -1/+33Good grief 3 tractor trailers, 4 buses, and 6 cars! Holy carbon batman! This is a hypocritical bitch! Wasting that much energy for ***** music is a crime anyways. Her music sucks, and she's a freakin' socialist to boot. Typical elitist one too.
- Pimptastic, on 10/12/2007, -0/+31I dont think Ive laughed so hard at a response on Digg in a long time. Bravo Nixon.
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