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86 Comments
- fpaudon, on 09/01/2008, -12/+59"I just dread the day I have to tell my kids that 9/11 isn't real."
It's funny/unsettling cause it's true. - diceau, on 09/02/2008, -4/+44"No, 9/11 is about the warm feeling you get when you help an elderly woman cross the street and then whisper to her that the terrorists can strike at any moment."
Gold. - inactive, on 09/02/2008, -2/+41That's pretty awful.
Dugg. - Gabberwok, on 09/02/2008, -2/+35Satire is protected, gotta love the 1st amendment. (Until Cheney takes it away.)
- fullphaser, on 09/01/2008, -5/+37Am I the only one who thought of all the Onion articles in the past, this is the one that has brought them closest to getting sued?
- Gabberwok, on 09/02/2008, -3/+33What do you get the man who already hates everything?
- gonegoogling, on 09/01/2008, -9/+38I bet he really does smile a little every 9/11, knowing that he is getting away with it.
- abdulali, on 09/02/2008, -4/+31Funniest article I've read in awhile from Onion. The fireman costume; airplane ornament on the twin towers tree; broken Pentagon cookies; 9/11 is all about love.
Awesome. - YancyFryJr, on 09/02/2008, -3/+24When did the Onion start doing serious articles?
- borez, on 09/02/2008, -3/+20"I have a feeling this is going to be the best Sept. 11 ever," Cheney said with a grin. "I just dread the day I have to tell my kids that 9/11 isn't real."
/genius - nickycakes, on 09/02/2008, -4/+18So wrong but so awesome at the same time.
- EatSleepJeep, on 09/02/2008, -0/+11Answer: January 17, 2001
Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784 - inactive, on 09/02/2008, -9/+209/11 was like Christmas for the Neo Cons
" Which shall we take first, Syria, Lebanon, Iran, Iraq? "
" Hmm... go for Iraq first so we have enough oil and cash revenue to invade the other 3 "
" GOOD THINKING RUMSFELD!! " - inactive, on 09/01/2008, -2/+13Sued, or even more popular.
- borez, on 09/02/2008, -2/+11That's the whole point of satire
- jeremyduffy, on 09/02/2008, -2/+11"No, 9/11 is about the warm feeling you get when you help an elderly woman cross the street and then whisper to her that the terrorists can strike at any moment"
This pretty much sums up exactly what's been happening to us the last several years. Talk about accurate. - borez, on 09/02/2008, -1/+10Bye then
- inactive, on 09/02/2008, -0/+8FTA: "Sept. 11 is not about fancy 9/11 parades, or big 9/11 office parties. In fact, it's not even just about two buildings crumbling to the ground and leaving thousands of innocent people dead."
"No," Cheney continued. "No, 9/11 is about the warm feeling you get when you help an elderly woman cross the street and then whisper to her that the terrorists can strike at any moment. 9/11 is about the satisfaction of telling people to do things and then them doing it—not because they want to, but because they are afraid to do otherwise. 9/11 is about removing Saddam Hussein from power. But most of all, 9/11 is about love."
"I have a feeling this is going to be the best Sept. 11 ever," Cheney said with a grin. "I just dread the day I have to tell my kids that 9/11 isn't real."
Win win ***** win. - airmann90, on 09/02/2008, -3/+11You know what else is funny? How off topic you are...
- inactive, on 09/02/2008, -0/+6They already did, you're just not aware of it.
- EatSleepJeep, on 09/02/2008, -0/+6Not since Bush & Friends turned its remembrance into BS justification for a farce war.
- borez, on 09/02/2008, -2/+8All the families of the Onion writers?
- NarrativeCarpet, on 09/02/2008, -0/+6It's not awful because 9/11 was 7 years ago in 2001 it's well written and filled with hilarious gems. Quite a good article for the Onion.
- louiebaur, on 09/01/2008, -3/+8Nice what a jack!!
- inactive, on 09/02/2008, -0/+5Then why are you here?
- inactive, on 09/02/2008, -0/+4Yesterday's story about the pedophile going back to school was pretty edgy too. Maybe they've put something in the water there at the Onion.
- xtmno3, on 09/02/2008, -0/+4Almost all good jokes make someone the butt of them. Having a good sense of humor includes being able to laugh at your own situation.
- fpaudon, on 09/02/2008, -0/+4Oh, the irony
- Bawbzilla, on 09/02/2008, -1/+5Yes, this is how you show your maturity and demonstate the immaturity of others.
Take note, fellow digg users, we must learn from this man so we don't lose valuable members like himself and "sweetholymosiah" to reddit! - pintomp3, on 09/02/2008, -0/+4which families? of the soldiers that have died in the "war on terror"? of the iraqi's who have died since we decided to bring them freedom?
- Antarcticn, on 09/02/2008, -0/+4breathe heavily when praising the dark lord
- bipolarruledout, on 09/02/2008, -0/+3Best Onion piece ever!
- Antarcticn, on 09/02/2008, -0/+3of course. TRUTH telling is forbidden. Honest folks are "domestic terrorists" as deliberately undefined in the hideously misnamed USA PATRIOT Acts. halliburton/cheney subsidiary, Kellog-Brown&Root, made reservations in non-existent concentration/re-education/death camps for Truth tellers who differ with the neo-comm Party Line propaganda
- inactive, on 09/02/2008, -2/+59/11 was the day that let him get away with anything. He might actually have a little spring in his step.
- DigxDug, on 09/02/2008, -1/+4Pity your decision as this article is on the 1st page of Reddit as well...
- Rotzooi, on 09/02/2008, -2/+5That was gold.
- Antarcticn, on 09/02/2008, -0/+3more Dark Side of the Force.
When a disturbance ripples thru the Dark Side of the Force, darth cheney whisks to the hospital for heart treatment. That's what happens when black magic makes blood circulate 'cause you have no human heart. - h4ckler, on 09/02/2008, -0/+2If you don't believe in 9/11 you're unpatriotic and a terrorist. :P
- Antarcticn, on 09/02/2008, -1/+3busy with vp paperwork??? !!
such as . . .
Deploying more Death Stars?
Imperiously commanding empire troops to crush those rebellious true patriotic Americans?
Recharging its Jedi sword?
sticking pins in its Yoda and O-Ben one Kenobe dolls?
Or planning the next major crime against Americans by its tyrannic cronies?
That's what keeps darth cheney busy and gives it pleasant dreams.
Killing Freedom, Liberty, Justice and We The Victimized People's Rights. - YancyFryJr, on 09/03/2008, -0/+2Touché.
- inactive, on 09/02/2008, -1/+3Republicans don't understand sarcasm. That explains the nomination of Harriet Meirs. And Sarah Palin.
- inactive, on 09/02/2008, -0/+1And so true...
- jitterbits, on 09/03/2008, -0/+1No, it's satire when it's amusing and at least moderately honest.
- bipolarruledout, on 09/02/2008, -0/+1It almost makes me want to have a 9/11 party for neocons (with WTF cookies and everything!) and them scoff at them when they suggest that I am making light of a "serious issue" and then turn around and blame them of doing the same. Isn't that what they do while continuing their rape and pillage of our democracy?
- ShAd0wS, on 09/02/2008, -0/+1this made me lol. Funniest thing i've seen on the onion since... i honestly cant remember another funny article i read on the onion :)
- Samadhi007, on 09/04/2008, -0/+1Good job entirely missing the point. If you're really concerned about defaming and trivializing a national tragedy, search for the meaning in the post above yours.
- daflo, on 09/02/2008, -0/+1I think what he meant is that this ought to be in the "Comedy" category (where Onion articles usually go), not "Political News".
- alleged, on 09/03/2008, -0/+1Sad? The Onion didn't slam jets into buildings. The Onion didn't invade a country that didn't attack us in response. The article is hilarious, and I Digg it.
- morepowerr, on 09/02/2008, -0/+19/11 will be one resin for McClone to cry wolf.
- Arguman, on 09/04/2008, -0/+1Haha. That line was great. And if you're offended, you either don't get it, don't get satire, or have an entirely different sense of humor and why are you reading it in the first place?
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