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Study: Iraqis May Experience Sadness When Friends, Relatives Die

theonion.com — Amazing the best onion article in its history

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  • SkullPizza, on 10/10/2007, -7/+73Man... I dunno, first science was wrong about evolution.... studies are overrated.
    • FloppyLlamaDigg, on 10/10/2007, -3/+43Surely they don't experience them on the same level as us Americans. That is absurd.
    • Bodhinature, on 10/10/2007, -11/+32I'm only half-American and I can tell you that I often feel a natural propensity towards sociopathy bordering on severe autism. Thank the blessed Lord Jesus Christ that my better half is of a culture superior enough to keep my animal nature in check.
      • mikesbaker, on 10/10/2007, -16/+3you do understand what the onion is don't you? I don't think that you do.
        • Recuso, on 10/10/2007, -2/+16You do understand what sarcasm is, don't you? I don't think that you do.
        • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -4/+3I clearly think bodhinature does......in that the person is "grateful" that his/her non-American side keeps his/her American side in check.....I mean, is it the left or right side which is American? Upper body or lower body? It's clear that the guy is facetiously crediting his "non-American" side for holding his "American side" in check.
    • norman619, on 10/10/2007, -19/+3You gota love these no ***** moments. Too funny
    • bleep1912, on 10/10/2007, -14/+1How could you say Americans Have emotions, if they post ***** like this.
  • jcm267, on 10/10/2007, -6/+145Wow. The Onions getting pretty damned political here. I love this article
    • tical2756, on 10/10/2007, -18/+11I'm not sure it's the "best onion article in its history", but pretty damn funny
    • tical2756, on 10/10/2007, -5/+27I'm not sure it's the "best onion article in its history", but pretty damn funny
      • jcm267, on 10/10/2007, -29/+5I never said it was
        • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10JCM, I've seen you spewing neo-con supporting nonsense on other stories. You do realize that by endorsing this article, you are endorsing the ultimate satire, that yes, Iraqis have feelings and grieve deeply, as is to be expected (i.e. they're human beings)? OK, just checkin'.
        • jcm267, on 10/10/2007, -3/+3Please post where I said that Iraqis were all inhuman
        • mikesbaker, on 10/10/2007, -1/+5right above me now ^^^ _ ^^^ _ ^^^
      • JoeDonH, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4I agree tical2756 - "Christ Returns to the NBA" holds that special place in my heart, but this is definitely a good one.

        *edit* stupid comment system... I didn't hit reply to jcm. Grrr.
      • scubasteve377, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7I think its hard to beat the old classic: HOLY *****, MAN WALKS ON ***** MOON
        http://members.shaw.ca/rlongpre01/moon.html
    • DrDragun, on 10/10/2007, -5/+60I'm not sure it's the "best onion article in its history", but pretty damn funny
      • FloppyLlamaDigg, on 10/10/2007, -10/+3.
      • PunkRampant, on 10/10/2007, -1/+9I never said it was.
        • jcm267, on 10/10/2007, -8/+1Meh. that joke doesn't work for you because he's not responding to your comment.... he's responding to my comment.
          • scubasteve377, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1They were never responding to you. They were responding to the headline. Retard.
          • jcm267, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1I know that, dumbass. They hijacked the thread and clicked "reply to jcm267's comment". So actually they were technically responding to my comment.

            That's why "I never said it was" was a "joke". Are you people all this ***** dense?
    • kooft, on 10/10/2007, -7/+34I'm not sure it's the "best onion article in its history", but pretty damn funny
      • aazn, on 10/10/2007, -13/+3Why the ***** did you just copy and paste that?
        • Tiak, on 10/10/2007, -2/+12New here, are you?... We'll screw with your sense of humor yet.
          • jcm267, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2indeed. I'd prefer if these go on forever. I ***** hate those combo breakers.
    • blast0x, on 10/10/2007, -2/+55CCCCOMBOBREAKERRRRRRRR
    • pikpikcarrotmon, on 10/10/2007, -1/+8Just wanted to say good luck, we're all counting on you.
      • gameforge, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Surely, you can't be serious...
        • Me1000, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2I am, and dont call me surely!
          • rspeed, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2*****. That joke doesn't work when written, does it?

            Surely there must be something you can do.
    • hatdrop, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2you never read the reagan pyramid article?

      http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30216
      • baseballpm, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6or the long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over
        http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784

        odly this was january 17th 2001
        • rm999, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3I remember that story - seems so much funnier (and sad) today
          • jcm267, on 10/10/2007, -4/+2Welll to be honest... the prosperity wasn't there. it was a bubble. Between the tech overvaluation and the accounting scandals, the boom of the 1990s wasn't really all that great.

            As for the "peace" part? LOL
          • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2jcm, don't try and equivocate between the two. It just won't work. The Constitution was not being shredded before our eyes, our brothers and sisters weren't being sent to die in a futile war, and a decent (not great, but at least competent) President was impeached after a $55 million investigation that revealed: Clinton lied about sex. It took $55 million to learn that. So please, with the unparalleled politicization of every department of our federal government and rampant cronyism, with Republican sex scandals and new accusations of cronyism every day practically, and need for a scorecard to keep track of all the scandals, don't even SUGGEST it's not much worse now.
          • jcm267, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1I'm suggesting that it's not much worse now than it was in the 1990s. In some ways we're better off, in other ways we're worse off.
    • pikpikcarrotmon, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2Just wanted to say good luck, we're all counting on you.
    • mikesbaker, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4getting political?
      http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784
      • jcm267, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2i'll admit I don't check The Onion on a daily basis. This was the most political story I can rememeber reading from them.
      • scubasteve377, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2From Jan. 2001? Scary accurate.
        • mikesbaker, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1thats why its one of my all time favs
    • pikpikcarrotmon, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2Just wanted to say good luck, we're all counting on you.
  • tical2756, on 10/10/2007, -16/+5The original poster did
  • DrDragun, on 10/10/2007, -5/+9nice
  • Trublmakr, on 10/10/2007, -1/+121Classic line: "At present, we see no reason for the popular press to report on Iraqi emotions as if they are real." -Sure it's funny and sarcastic but razor sharp criticism if you really think about it.
    • wiredweb, on 10/10/2007, -8/+0Yes, I suppose it is.
    • ladyarcher85, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1Well, if you are not one of the posters that say "Awwwwwww poor *insert oppressed nationality here*" whenever news stories about people in warn torn countries feel.You are then labeled as a heartless bitch.
    • billtvshow, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1This is the one that got me:
      -Said Pryztal: "When trying to understand the psychology of the Iraqi citizenry after four years of war, think of a small American town roiled by the death of a well-known high school football player."-
  • wil2200, on 10/10/2007, -79/+2"We are, in truth, still a long way from determining if Iraqis are exhibiting actual, U.S.-grade sadness," Mayo Clinic neuropsychologist Norman Blum said. "At present, we see no reason for the popular press to report on Iraqi emotions as if they are real."

    ...US-grade sadness? WTF? When did sadness stop being HUMAN and has its own grading chart. So what - the Iraqis have no feelings? Only the US can know sadness and grief? I suppose watching everyone you care about and loved, everything that you work for destroyed in front of your eyes is nothing to be sad about. This ***** is wrong on every ***** level and I am so pissed I can't think straight. This is just sick. This is what a university is studying? I mean is that school just so down in the gutters that they have no real research ideals?
    • darkskinfan87, on 10/10/2007, -1/+74Not familiar with The Onion are we?

      It's a satire news site dude. Calm down.
      • bonedead, on 10/10/2007, -2/+13The beauty of the internet, no tone of voice or facial expressions, except for the leet ass emoticons :o!
      • abundantrubbish, on 10/10/2007, -0/+14You can't blame him, he did say "I am so pissed I can't think straight."
        • philr8, on 10/10/2007, -5/+1You're right. I blame his stupid mother and idiot father for rearing a humorless, unintelligent ass.

          Nurture > Nature?
    • adb44, on 10/10/2007, -0/+53That zooming sound you just heard was the joke flying over your head.
    • TheDHC, on 10/10/2007, -12/+5hey look up, you see that joke flying right over your fat head?
      i bet you think the colbert report is real too
    • hoserjoe, on 10/10/2007, -1/+10Give the boy a break. After all, he said,"I am so pissed I can't think straight" What more do you want from the wretched lad?
    • DruSam, on 10/10/2007, -0/+19Hahaha! The poor sap is first timer to Onion news. How tragic and satisfying!
    • BESTenemy, on 10/10/2007, -1/+71. Which of the fictitious scenarios presented do you think is more likely to occur:
      a) A man giving a good-bye kiss to his wife and child before strapping on explosives and heading off to blow things up out of hatred towards Western freedom... and cause his god told him so.
      b) A man that wanted nothing to do with the war, swears to take his revenge on those that willingly, or unwillingly blew up his house to shreds, killing his wife and child.

      Which scenario do you think is likely to produce more orphans and lost family members:
      a) 3000+ American deaths on 9/11?
      b) 200 000+ Iraqi casualties over the course of the of the ongoing war?
      • quaxon, on 10/10/2007, -1/+5my T.I. 85+ just told me that an iraqi life is only worth .361 of an american life, no wait, white american life.
    • scubasteve377, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Stupid people make baby Jesus cry :(
  • Niddik, on 10/10/2007, -22/+5It has a point. Iraqis are humans too, not just American-murdering robots!
    • Sunfightersix, on 10/10/2007, -5/+5and yet you want to abandon them to the dogs
      • Tiak, on 10/10/2007, -7/+1Ahh, so they're human, except with all capacity for self-government remved... Oh, and except for the majority of their population that are in fact, dogs.... (it'd have to be the majority for leaving them t be pittiable)...
        • jcm267, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1I guess the Germans in the 1930s were inhuman, because they weren't smart enough to prevent their country from being taken over by the Nazis.
  • adb44, on 10/10/2007, -3/+89As Jon Stewart says, it's pretty sad when the most insightful news we get is fake news.

    ;;Aside: I always believed this to be the best onion article I've ever read: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28315.
    • NinjaBoy, on 10/10/2007, -2/+15"I believe I speak for the entire human race when I say, 'Holy *****,'" lol
    • servertyp, on 10/10/2007, -2/+4"christ returns to the NBA" was good as well, if only for the picture. Alas that was in the good old days when only people in Madison, Wisconsin knew what The Onion was.
    • rationalist, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3That's it for us monkeys.
    • sabach, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2"Oh, Christ, we're really in the soup now."
  • lordtyros, on 10/10/2007, -1/+29"Pryztal said that his research group would next examine whether children in Sudan prefer playing with toys or serving as guerrilla fighters and killing innocent civilians."
  • SuperWinner, on 10/10/2007, -18/+5This contrasts sharply with France, when relatives die there they just don't give a *****.
    • bobotheking, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Thank you, Mersault.

      (Any existentialists in the crowd? No?)
      • ddxChrist, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Yes. The Stranger by Albert Camus.
  • facelesscoward, on 10/10/2007, -1/+13Oh, wow. That was brilliant.
  • trumasamune, on 10/10/2007, -13/+5It reads just like something out of a conservative think tank.
  • Alegoo92, on 10/10/2007, -30/+4This just in: Americans feel sadness and fear in reaction to mass terrorist attack.

    We're more similar than we thought..
  • 7Mystery, on 10/10/2007, -21/+2"A field study released Monday by the University of North Carolina School of Public Health suggests that Iraqi citizens experience sadness and a sense of loss when relatives, spouses, and even friends perish, emotions that have until recently been identified almost exclusively with Westerners."

    WYF!
    Americans really outdid themselves this time. I hope ya’ll know we also smile, cry, and take ***** every now and then.
    • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8Hey 7, this is satire. It is not real. The reason it is so humorous is because it is all complete *****. www.theonion.com.
      • dstz, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1No, it's funny because it is true, and that it is a truth that we usually don't let disturb us at a personal level. Of course there's a part of lie, but not much, and that part is not funny. The funny part is the sad one.
  • LuckyNYC, on 10/10/2007, -2/+13Wow, first Onion article to actually make me feel my American sadness.
  • jeremiah77769, on 10/10/2007, -34/+1Unbelievable that someone would think they DIDNT have the ability to feel sadness. That is just pure stupidity.
    • XivGNP, on 10/10/2007, -0/+16GOD, after this much time you'd think satire, especially The Onion, would have permeated culture to the point where people usually get it. I can imagine socially retarded people reading this article and just getting pissed as all hell LOL
    • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8Dawg, the Onion is satire. f.y.i. Nothin' in it is true; they have a pop culture segment but the news is just satirical.
    • twisterrust, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9I consider myself pretty stupid, but even someone like me understood the joke :-|
    • philr8, on 10/10/2007, -2/+0Your comment is pure stupidity. Your mom.
  • jackspayed, on 10/10/2007, -35/+4I understand it was a joke - but in very poor taste....
    • TheDHC, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8poor taste is always funnier
    • 7goats, on 10/10/2007, -2/+11And killing hundreds of thousands of Iraqis was in good taste? I think the Onion says what the MSM has been dancing around for years. This war was wrong and innocent people are suffering tremendously from it --and staying there is only continuing the tragedy. Put down yr iPhone and think about the rest of the world.
      • hoserjoe, on 10/10/2007, -10/+1Wait a minute - lots of us felt sad after killing a bunch of Iraqis. I'm STILL feeling sad that we didn't kill a whole lot more of them, for God's sake.
    • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Who does it offend?
  • youdlike2know, on 10/10/2007, -3/+9Onion for the win ... A++++++
  • davidkeithjones, on 10/10/2007, -4/+27Wow, the Onion is starting to get sharper with their critisim. Im glad someone is calling out this war.
    • obliviousfool, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5Someone? How about everyone with a soul?
    • fortezza, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Seriously. You have not heard one other person calling out this war before now? I was calling it out before we invaded, back when I was the minority and most thought Bush was a hero.
      • dadioflex, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1"You have not heard one other person calling out this war before now? I was calling it out before we invaded, back when I was the minority and most thought Bush was a hero."

        Yeah, but back then you were a minority and, as you know, a minority = terrorist. Good luck pushing that agenda.

        But seriously I just watched "Good Night and Good Luck" last night about Edward Murrow and McCarthyism(ish). This story really reminded me of that, particularly how free we are now to denigrate our political masters, and rightly so. Democracy isn't something that happens every 4-5 years, it's constant! But if you don't embrace it, it will go away.
  • jabberwolf, on 10/10/2007, -21/+3Wow I agree
    Now if only they would blame the other Iraqis for killing each other, rather then Americans who are trying to keep them from doing so.
    But amazing story, lets see if the Onion can make that connection as well next time!
    • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -1/+7Please tell me you're not serious and you don't recognize this is not a factual news story. Please tell me that.
      • chuck3330, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4i'd hate to see these people's reaction to the 9/11 onion story.
        • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Or have you seen the Onion "HOLY ***** MAN LANDS ON THE ***** MOON!" headline......or the one about Elvis' death "Elvis Dead. Is Elvis Alive?"
    • XV745, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8RTFA! The article specifically mentions Iraqis' grief at their relatives dying by "a car bomb or shot execution style". They were not lambasting Americans for killing Iraqis (at least, not this time), they were lambasting the all-too-common Western attitude that Westerners are somehow more "human" than Middle-easterners.
    • kimb00, on 10/10/2007, -2/+0Why did they wait until americans showed up before they started killing each other then?
  • Depthfunction, on 10/10/2007, -6/+45This is probably real news to the neocons.

    "Brown people have the same emotions as white people?! No way!"
    • accessviolation, on 10/10/2007, -3/+4No, to them it's just terrorist propaganda
      • Atomic1fire, on 10/10/2007, -3/+1depth that was in bad taste
        going as far as saying all conservatives are racist is crude and unneeded
    • catalysis, on 10/10/2007, -3/+11Thank you for explaining the joke. We would have never understood.
    • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Yeah, that's a sign that it's good satire.....that so many people don't recognize it as satire. It's funny, but even sadder because these are people who vote.
    • fortezza, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Ann Coulture says you are godless.
  • Hercules, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Mirror anybody? Blocked at work :(
    • floatingpoints, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1LOL, nazi job is nazi.
    • fortezza, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Heh, my work is the same way. Web sites are categorized and then you have been given access to that category, the site is blocked. Good ol Websense.
    • satx, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1PROXY SITES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • mikiupdown2, on 10/10/2007, -26/+1"An Iraqi mother expressing American-like grief at the loss of her son."

    Looks more like "human-like grief" to me.
    • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10The Onion is satire. Nothing in it is true.....just f.y.i.
  • tjasond, on 10/10/2007, -0/+17Five blades wins my vote:
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930
    • ddxChrist, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2"You'll be so smooth, I could snort lines off of your chin."
    • centinall, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5This is my favourite. Short, but sweet:
      RIAA Bans Telling Friends About Songs
      http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43029
    • rhys18383, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1"I'm telling them to stick two more blades in there. I don't care how. Make the blades so thin they're invisible. Put some on the handle. I don't care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!"
  • jimwz, on 10/10/2007, -3/+2I thought the Kobayishi Retires from Eating" article was better.
  • smallSHEEP, on 10/10/2007, -1/+42If a foreign army invaded and occupied the US would most Americans be:

    A: Grateful
    B: Other
    • aikimann, on 10/10/2007, -13/+2If we were liberated from an oppressive, sadistic dictator, whose family regularly raped our women, and who killed our people en mass and buried them in mass graves, we'd be:

      A: Grateful.

      Regardless of whether or not others OUTSIDE the US entered the country and began trying to inflict massive civilian casualties
      • salinemist, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Isn't that what most diggers think of Bush?
        • Atomic1fire, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2unless these civilians are carrying ak47s and think that your the enemy because they have been raised that way
      • Matthew720, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9Really? What if all these "liberators" wanted was to squander the natural resources and make profit off of rebuilding OUR country but in essence leaving us with buildings that have plumbing and electric problems and countless buildings that are in danger of collapsing because of poor construction? Would you still feel the same way if at the end of the day the only thing you got out of that oh glorious "liberation" was staying at home with no running water, no food and no electricity while fearing for your life, no school for your kids and no jobs? I'll take living under a dictatorship over living in a man made hell on earth. I think you need to be more realistic and less naive.
        • ferrofluid, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1By a strange coincidence you are describing the plight of Native Americans (on reservations) and the displaced poor from New Orleans, now living in unfit trailers and tents.
      • Aticper, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Here, tell you what. Wait a few years until the dictator we're under now gets REALLY opressive and try that, and then try moving into a live warzone, with gunfire every single night.

        Then get back to me.
    • chuck3330, on 10/10/2007, -4/+3it really depends, is this country Israel?
    • reventlov, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7If they set up their own giant palace in the heart of DC and executed Bush... maybe you would greet them as liberators? Then again, the Iraqis didn't seem to think America was doing them any favours by doing the same in Iraq.
      • Atomic1fire, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1at least we didn't set up giant statues that they throw shoes at
        which is apparently the equivalent of a curse word in iraq
        and we let them choose their own leader
    • Aticper, on 10/10/2007, -3/+1Depends on which foreign army.
      • AttilaD, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Agreed. I'm ok with Canada invading.
    • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Can I use my 50/50?
    • obliviousfool, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2I understand your sentiment, but the US has a large enough military toybox to make any invading army a whole bunch of dead. Except China, maybe. They have the manpower.
      • ferrofluid, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Big army except when it comes to manpower, we are struggling to field 150,000 in Iraq and thats barely done by scraping up NG and aged Reservists.
        Syria and Iran (which signed a mil pact in 06) could field 2 million armed troops of various grades according to Wikipedia.
    • fortezza, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1I could them invading us to liberate us from insurgent illegal aliens. Hmm, it just might be worth it since our own government won't do anything.
    • EccentricCdn, on 07/16/2008, -0/+1Canada shall send it's beaver batallion to bite its own nads off and hit itself with trees right away!
  • Tobark, on 10/10/2007, -29/+1What the ***** is this ?? Like....no *****?
  • bhattsan, on 10/10/2007, -0/+20"We are, in truth, still a long way from determining if Iraqis are exhibiting actual, U.S.-grade sadness,"
    Classic
    • agenthamsta, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2That quote was awesome. My whole office was rofl!
  • tehxen3, on 10/10/2007, -1/+23Reminder to some: Onion is a satire news site. As in joke, not serious... get it?
    • Ndric, on 10/10/2007, -12/+2Captain OBVIOUS to the rescue
      • accessviolation, on 10/10/2007, -1/+8Apparently not *that* obvious. Have you read all the comments here?
      • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Have you read all the comments on this story? Not all that obvious to many too many.
        • ferrofluid, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Its a shame that most people still think FoxNews is not a satire thing these days.
    • bigteebo, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10But sometimes Onion articles can almost be way too easily mistaken for "real" media stories. That is their genius.
    • dlmaher, on 10/10/2007, -3/+2Some jokes are more serious then others
  • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -7/+4Fascinating.....so maybe our war there is not the best idea? Ya think? All these scientists and they "thinking". I dunno..........they don't look human to me. Where the ***** are the baseball caps and halter tops? Why aren't they speaking English? (in case you are sarcasm-deficient, that was indeed sarcastic irony)
    • jcm267, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Well the Kurdish north (Kurdistan?) is making good progress...
  • thecoolestguy, on 10/10/2007, -0/+33that article made me really sad despite the fact that it's a satire.
  • dadavexx, on 10/10/2007, -8/+3Such pointed satire. No better location for such a pseudo study than N. C. - thou it could have been Ga, Tn, Ala, Ms, La, or Tex. ( or even Id, Mont., Ut, or any of the Red states). Sorry Blues)

    A good Southern Baptist or any other kind of fundamentalist couldn't accept such varnished reports as true.
    • Toshibi, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Just because some people in NC are stupid doesn't mean we all are. Are all people residing in blue states as snobbish as you?
      • nihilite, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3One of the first roads you hit out of the Charlotte NC airport is the Billy Graham Parkway.
        Nuff said.
        • toddcat, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2No, not 'nuff said. No state is homogeneous. There are lots of reasonable people in red states, and lots of a-holes in blue states....and vice versa.
          • Atomic1fire, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2that was a stupid comment nihilite
    • NJHiker, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2NC has nothing to do with the satire in the way you see it. The study is supposed to be from Chapel Hill, NC, home of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, a highly academically rated university. Using this as the location lends "credibility" to the study, thereby increasing the sarcasm of the article. It has nothing to do with NC being a red state or any other sweeping generalizations you were attempting to make.
  • macguy815, on 10/10/2007, -17/+2Am I the only one who kinda finds the in bad taste? I mean yes it makes a valid point through satire, but still putting a witty caption under a photo of mass murder isn't really that funny. Or the photo of the iraqi woman who lost her son, replace the iraqi woman with a 9/11 widow and you have your self a lawsuit.
    I'm not normally one to be all politically correct, but the juxtaposition of satire and images of civilians being slaughtered kind of makes it hard to laugh at the satire.
    • MCMLXXXII, on 10/10/2007, -1/+10The purpose behind satire is not to be funny, but to send a message. It is successful in that regard. Although it is making a joke of the whole thing, in reality it is pretty serious in addressing the issue. When people read very funny stuff but still feel sad about it, that is when satire has served its purpose.
    • archiesteel, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4It's not supposed to make you laugh, at least not in the usual sense. It's supposed to make you think.
  • lostradamus, on 10/10/2007, -1/+20This doesn't beat previous best Onion articles like:
    "RC Cola Celebrates 10th Purchase"
    and
    "Nation's Educators Alarmed By Poorly Written Teen Suicide Notes"
    • lostradamus, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10Forgot to add:
      "Cops kills partner; Vows to hunt self down"
    • hablo4u, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6"Pabst Drinkers Celebrate Pabst by Drinking Six Pack of Pabst"
  • Nobiting, on 10/10/2007, -23/+3BREAKING: PEOPLE GET SAD WHEN PEOPLE DIE
  • akowalew, on 10/10/2007, -23/+2MORE BREAKING NEWS: IRAQIS ARE PEOPLE TOO YOU IDIOTS.....
    • rabidg00se, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5EVEN MORE BREAKING NEWS: POT CALLS KETTLE BLACK
      • akowalew, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3the kettle's black??? NOOOOOO!!!!! =]
        • Tiak, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2I too was very disturbed by this... Damn these online pseudonyms and their inaccessibility to my racist tendencies!
      • mikesbaker, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2morons on digg details at 11
    • studcopter, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8Even more breaking news: It's satire, you "moran".
    • k3nt, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4hmm, either you didn't read the article, you don't have any idea what the Onion is, or both. Get out.
  • petsounds01, on 10/10/2007, -0/+29It never ceases to amaze me that people on this site can somehow find a way to install Linux on their toaster, yet simple ideas like satire fly right over their heads.
    • chuck3330, on 10/10/2007, -1/+7i happen to be the opposite. i get this but i have no idea what linux is
  • sakul, on 10/10/2007, -3/+2NAH! The best and funniest onion article ever, ever is by far.... 'The Special Olympics Is Fixed' ... I laughed for days.. however, good luck to you finding it anywhere, as the onion doesn't have it, or no where on the googles can it be found... It was hilarious, although this one is pretty good too.
  • solidus636, on 10/10/2007, -19/+2I like how every sensable reply to this article about Iraqi's being human also has been buried.
    You people are all racist.
    Kudos to the ones that got buried down.
    • thomas, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9They where getting buried because they where reacting like this was a real story and not satire.
    • XivGNP, on 10/10/2007, -1/+7The only reason people are making SENSIBLE replies of that ilk and getting dugg down is because they take the article as fact...which it clearly isn't. Not because they say Iraqis are human. Digg isn't THAT evil, right? .............right?
    • philr8, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8Why are you so retarded. Why can't you read? OF COURSE IRAQIS ARE HUMAN. No one is disputing that here. This is obviously satire. Satire, you know, clever criticism. In this case, criticism of the US Govt's Iraq mess.

      Jesus. You lose at the internet.
      • ferrofluid, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Firefox being a generation ahead of Internet Explorer ;)
        IE users need to turn on their webpage classification widget ALT F4 if ya didnt know.
  • SedProle, on 10/10/2007, -2/+8Why do I get this bad feeling that some day in the future, politicians in Iran will quote or use this article as propaganda without realizing it as satire (or maybe just not caring that it is satire)?
    • scubasteve377, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2I think its because some ***** among us here on this forum can't even seem to identify satire when they read it.
      (Hint: the thread directly above us is a prime example.)
  • Infinite84, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2It's okay though because after they get sad they may become mad & want to fight back, and at that point the mainstream media will deam them 'Al-Queda', so really all we're doing is killing Al-Queda. So see, it's justified. And if you disagree you yourself may be with Al-Queda as well. Espescially if you're against the war.
  • murphygr, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4yes, for anyone who thought this was real, look at the "recent news" stories below the story
    • dadioflex, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1I tabbed the story for later reading when I saw it, then I continued to listen to the Merlin Mann Zero Inbox video, while researching Walt Whitman because he'd been mentioned in the video. From the Walt Whitman reference I shouldered my way through some effete websites to a commentary forum where I got tied up discussing Christianity vs Atheism because of my own interpretation of "A Sight in Camp". Meanwhile I'd been trying to get my head around how Walt Whitman's poems are meant to sound in this day and age. Excuse me for being a child of the Dirty Limerick era of poetry....

      So eventually I got back to the Tab and honestly got pretty pissed off because by then I'd forgotten opening the tab or the fact it was a satire article. On the plus side, I got pissed off.

      And honestly who doesn't surf like this? Everything is out there waiting to be found or rediscovered so if you're just hitting the reload button you're missing out.
  • Timetheos, on 10/10/2007, -1/+8This is good, but "God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule" (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28151) is the best.
  • twisterrust, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7I think some comments are funnier then the Satire :-)
  • jess21496, on 10/10/2007, -11/+1And to think that feeling sadness for the loss of a relative or close friend was not a natural human emotion in the middle east before we invaded Iraq?? Good Job Bush! We are not worthy after all.
  • renegadeafk, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4"An Iraqi mother expressing American-like grief at the loss of her son."
  • FredoBerfil, on 10/10/2007, -5/+8Big deal. You can use "science" to prove anything. I get all my facts from the bible and Fox News.
    • kache68, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1That's weird. The bible and fox have facts? i just get my porn from them. who knew?
      • Atomic1fire, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1you can use science to prove anything
        some people used it to say dragons are real
        doesn't mean its true
        • Endemoniada, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1ehm... Excuse me? No, no, no... You can use FAKE PROOF to prove anything. If science does anything, it is to promote critical thinking while examining said prof. This is why people DON'T believe that dragons exists because of science, and why people DO believe in god because of religion.
  • amawg9, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Factual Error Found On Internet http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27836 classic
  • varchar255, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3I hadn't seen this one before: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28151

    I love The Onion.
  • hehdot, on 10/10/2007, -3/+3If you don't support George Bush you're going to hell.





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