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308 Comments
- nahsrocketeer75, on 05/20/2008, -14/+224I have a real problem with the idea that college kids don't date any more but rather simply "hook up" for casual sex. Seems this sort of thing happened in the '60s, when I was too young, and now it's happening again ... when I'm too old. That's my problem.
- Gwennyk, on 05/20/2008, -11/+127A friend of mine at uni seems to think that casual sex is great, she seems to be sleeping with someone different every week. I don't have a problem with what she does, but I do feel that the minute she got into that environment where debt is inevitable, you meet a lot of people, and you have your own place, that she wasn't all that prepared for it, and so went off on this whole "I drink all the time and sleep around a bit" thing. A lot of people I know have done this, and I'm wondering if we as a society are so much more focused on success and bettering each other, that we forget to teach the next generation how to grow up properley. I think the majority of people my age (or say from 16 - 20 year olds) just can't seem to grasp the idea of responsibility. This makes me worry.
- DeskFlyer, on 05/20/2008, -12/+86Wow, no-strings-attached casual sex is popular among young adults, what a surprise.
- inactive, on 05/20/2008, -26/+93It is so disturbing to think that the kids do not feel the need to explore their feelings but only their senses (in some sort of fast food sex). I HATE fast food!
I hope they at least are saving their love for something (somebody) special, the Somebody of their life.
Ok bury me for my senti-mental-ism now! - Weezer1223, on 05/20/2008, -1/+66All I have to say is every time I watch Tila Tequila and her hook up shenanigans I die a little bit inside.
- domfosnz, on 05/20/2008, -17/+76I'd like to write a witty comment but I can't think of anything ... I think its because I agree with everything in the story.
- neems25, on 05/20/2008, -21/+75I don't want relationship....I just want BANG BANG BANG!
- jmpeagle, on 05/20/2008, -29/+74how does casual sex disrespect women? That's complete *****.
- runnergirl20, on 05/20/2008, -1/+45I like that the article mentions that men can get crushed from hook-ups too. A lot of people make it out like women are the only ones that can't handle casual sex.
- Terr01, on 05/20/2008, -7/+49I think the real problem is that whatever incredible dating scene exists there, it doesn't seem to include me.
And *not* because I'm too old. That's my problem. - Cate320, on 05/20/2008, -9/+50It is really refreshing to see this article written by and directed to men.
As a woman, I can honestly say that the thought of having sex with someone I'm not in love with makes my skin crawl. Why would anyone want to be in that vulnerable position with someone they barely know? I have sex for the intimacy with my partner. If I were after pure pleasure, I could simply do for myself. Not that sex isn't physically pleasurable as well, but it is the connection with the one you care about that makes it so much better than masturbation.
I'm not sure I really agree with the article about casual sex disrespecting women. However, I do believe that some men are ignorant and/or inconsiderate of the fact that women are not wired for truly casual sex. Evolutionarily, women are selected to be very choosy about sexual partners since reproduction is limited by egg amount, gestation time and parental care. One man's sperm, on the other hand could impregnate the entire female population of earth multiple times over, given the chance, so it doesn't really matter if any is "wasted" on sub-par partners.
There is a saying I heard once "Women use sex to get love, Men use love to get sex". While I am not cynical enough (yet) to believe this, there is a measure of truth to it. Even if a woman says she's OK with a one night stand, you have to question, is she really? She can't exactly come out and say that she's looking for her future husband (or even a boyfriend) without scaring some guys off. I had friends in college that would have "casual" sex with guys they liked and then be disappointed when the guy took them at their word that there was no strings. I also knew some girls that had extremely low self-esteem and would sleep around because they felt validated and desirable, which obviously wasn't the case a few days later when they were still waiting on him to call.
I certainly don't think men are responsible for the women's decision to have casual sex. But they are responsible for their own actions. Now do you really want to be "that guy" that takes advantage of women in fragile emotional states?
Casual sex would be fine if both partners are sincere about keeping it casual. Unfortunately it rarely works out that way. - therumster, on 05/20/2008, -15/+53That is a great article... definitely rings true with what I've been thinking about lately. When you do get married one day, how are supposed to connect with that other person if you're used to flinging around with a few partners every few weeks?
- Royall, on 05/20/2008, -1/+32I just graduated with my BS and I'll tell you that after 4 years, the "hook-up" thing exists, but only for the people who are really into it. Not many people are really that promiscuous.
- spiffae, on 05/20/2008, -9/+39Isn't there room in the middle? I hate these high-minded articles that seem to pass judgement on all who disagree. I'm a normal guy who loves being in healthy committed relationships, but has also had his fair share of flings or hook ups, or whatever you want to call them. I don't regret anything, don't feel like I'm damaged goods - in fact, I feel like I've made a lot of great decisions in my life regarding sex. I never stopped thinking of sex as an incredibly important thing that happens between two people, but let's be honest here. Sex is fun. It's a great thing to do with a girl (or guy) you like, and it feels good. So why all the consternation and shouting? I'm always looking to meet the girl of my dreams, but sometimes, in the process of trying to meet said girl, you just have an amazing night and so does she, and then life goes on and everybody's a little bit happier.
What's wrong with that? - Lephtovermeet, on 05/20/2008, -5/+35Educated intelligent individuals making decisions for themselves. RUN IN FEAR!
- brokenex, on 05/20/2008, -5/+29It's possible that the current generation of 16-20 year olds is irresponsible for it's age. But then we don't have a clear perspective on how previous generations acted in the same age period
- inactive, on 05/20/2008, -7/+27How you doin?
... no but seriously, your made some good points. - inactive, on 05/20/2008, -3/+23The unprotected sex percentages are coming up again, right?
AIDS ain't going away any time soon - and neither are youths that think they'll love forever.
...sad. - cvxdes1, on 05/20/2008, -12/+30I agree. It disrespects men more than women. Let's ***** riot for mens rights.
- EatingPie, on 05/20/2008, -3/+21Actually, from what I've heard, feminism is part of the casual sex "revolution" of the '60s and beyond. I believe the reasoning went that *women* being able to choose partners was seen as *empowering.*
-Pie - CeltEnchantress, on 05/20/2008, -10/+28This is one of the best and truest stories I've seen on digg.
- Platinumwolf, on 05/20/2008, -5/+23I don't think he's saying that at all. The bias of this article is that casual sex is the fault of men, when in reality the men couldn't participate if the women didn't let them (in the heterosexual case). He's just calling that out.
- evodevo1, on 05/20/2008, -5/+23I do agree with the article in the sense that sex is meant for a monogamous relationship. Oxytocin is released during sex and this hormone is involved in social recognition and bonding b/t people. So the article is correct in saying that there is really no "casual sex". However, I also see the other side of the coin, which is that males are built to have sexual prime in starting in their teens. Back even just a few hundred years, people used to get married by 15. We are delaying marriage later and later...it is just not compatible with our biology.
- dlsspy, on 05/20/2008, -3/+20``As a woman, I can honestly say that the thought of having sex with someone I'm not in love with makes my skin crawl.''
That's not you as a woman, that's just you. I know men who think like you and I know women who would seem to be your polar opposite.
Many people look at different things in different ways regardless of gender (or race or whatever). - runnergirl20, on 05/20/2008, -2/+19What is particularly human about giving in to our urges? All animals do that. What makes humans special is the ability to choose whether to give in to our urges or not based reason, romance, and respect for other human beings.
- ploke, on 05/20/2008, -1/+17Wow man, the article wasn't really related to your rant at all. With your three MILFs I imagined you would come across as so tense.
- odganarb, on 05/20/2008, -3/+19The very thing that sets Man apart from the rest of the animal kingdom is our mental ability to prioritize other things more highly than our base desires. "Man is wired for sex" is a sorry excuse for an argument.
- harbls4everyone, on 05/20/2008, -4/+19This is the typical pseudo-intelligent ***** i hate being spewed from the mouths of the ignorant. You honestly think that tampon commercials are a bad influence on children? Bowel movements, are you kidding me? Please, go take a look at our constitution before you campaign for banning commercials about feminine hygiene products.
- N256, on 05/20/2008, -0/+12If you think tampons and ex-lax are sexual then you've led a very sheltered life.
- amadeusdemarzi, on 05/20/2008, -3/+15I actually disagree with a couple points from the article. First and foremost, I think there is a place for both casual and intimate sex.
Casual sex is the thrill of a person you don't really know. Who says you don't satisfy the other person? If you engage in that type of casual sex then you are a douche bag pure and simple.
Just because you enjoy casual sex does not mean you can't settle down with a partner later on and live a whole different level of sex; intimate/long term relationship sex.
I sense this article was written with a bit of a bias. I guess every article is. - DreKor, on 05/20/2008, -1/+13Dude, I totally have a huge penis. Oh wait, nobody here actually believes that or cares. Kind of like nobody believes or cares about your abundance of MILFs. My favorite part about old guys who think they're hot *****, is that I can one-up them with the simple fact that I am 23 and they wish they were.
- gryphon50, on 05/20/2008, -1/+12the Bolsheviks are responsible for your child support payments? It wasn't that you impregnated someone on your own? My grasp of history must be a bit off....Seriously, you are trying too hard to portray yourself as "in charge" with a bevy of women at your beck and call. I doubt many women would be interested in you, you kind of give off this bitter old man, loser vibe.
- Sophistifunk, on 05/20/2008, -4/+15I've got something to say. I resent the implications that:
a) Deep down, we all really want to settle down and only have sex with one person for ever and ever in holy matrimony.
b) If not, at least all women do, so if you're ***** for fun you're a jerk, she can't possibly be having a good time.
Nuts to your deep-seated religious *****! - PeppermintPig, on 05/20/2008, -2/+13I have to agree somewhat. If men are satisfying their own needs and women are not doing the same then that's really the woman's problem for choosing to enter a situation that didn't provide what she wanted... and that's to say not all men or all women are looking for the same thing.
FTA: "Furthermore, as my friend Dave is fond of saying, “Sex is like ice cream. The more flavors you sample, the harder it becomes to settle on one flavor for the rest of you life.”"
So the implication is that if you can't find a long term relationship, you probably won't be happy? What a terrible message to say to people. This article continues to cycle around to stressing relationships, and gives lip service to honesty but then fails to explain the full implications of an honest relationship. - ArtificialAnus, on 05/20/2008, -1/+12Evolution is neither conscious nor does it know how to "do" anything.
What the writer means, I'm sure, is that it is evolutionarily advantageous for sex to feel good and for humans to care for each other and for their offspring. In other words, it would be reasonable to suggest that humans could be said to have evolved these feelings as a means to ensuring reproductive success. - PeppermintPig, on 05/20/2008, -3/+14Wow, it's a real shame considering all the negative diggs that nobody took the time to write up a counterpoint to my argument to explain why it's wrong. Been waiting all day. Is it brain-off puritan sensationalism that's the cause? If I offend your sense of convention, say so. Those who bury and do not respond to assert a counter point are intellectual cowards.
- xtinamo, on 05/20/2008, -6/+16Your "friend" is it?
- blitz718, on 05/20/2008, -0/+10It doesn't, both people have to agree to it. The author just has a very obvious bias that has been pointed out by plenty of diggers here.
- dantesfurnose, on 05/20/2008, -3/+13I was a teenager in the mid-70s in Oregon. It was all about drugs and sex. As young as 12 we were left along for hours unsupervised, with boys. It was one long, exhausting, overly intense soap opera. I live outside of the US and have been raising my 16 year old daughter without the horror of my own culture. When we go to the States she says she doesn't like it because American kids are "sloppy" and rude. She and her friends are kids. Plain old kids. Funny, nice, respectful. They have friends who are boys at school and in the neighborhood but it's just...friendly. She sees boys as individuals, not as targets as I did. She expects them to have their ***** together. Her head is calm and free to focus on her interests and her studies. Now, what will happen in two years when she heads off to university in the States, I have no idea. I am banking on her having a solid foundation of self to carry her through it.
- colincornaby, on 05/20/2008, -4/+13Did you read the article? This was mentioned...
- brextastic, on 05/20/2008, -4/+13when i went to view the article it had 69 comments
i then felt obligated to read it - Professr, on 05/20/2008, -1/+10I'm sure there'll be plenty of common ground at the VD clinic!
- smpx, on 05/20/2008, -4/+13If you're not getting any, it's a good time to tell the world to stop having it.
- DreKor, on 05/20/2008, -0/+8or are into some pretty weird stuff.
- Spudster, on 05/20/2008, -0/+8More like: Both sexes should set their own boundaries. This idea that men are wired for sex is a damaging stereotype we have not moved on from and does nothing to advance a healthy discussion of this topic.
- PeppermintPig, on 05/20/2008, -1/+9Actually, I think you both make a good point. Empowerment in the '60s may have meant escaping rigorous cultural standards on relationships, and today it may be the perception of a disadvantage to women in the trend of casual sex that motivates a different push. They're not contradictory if the ideology is about seeking greater power for women.
- nikkilai, on 05/20/2008, -0/+8I feel that the flings I have had made me realize how much better sex is in a committed relationship with someone you trust. Really, casual sex gets your rocks off, but that's really it. I personally just don't find it as fun, and I know a lot of people (including men) who agree with me. So yes, there is a place for casual sex, as long as both parties take it for what it's worth: just one night of physical satisfaction but nothing more.
I think the problem is that many people think of it as something more, mainly females. And while in many cases, it's very hard for a man to gauge whether this woman is a willing participant with no baggage during some drunken party, I know there are definitely some men who will use their knowledge of a girl's feelings/attraction to get in their pants. I feel the article stresses that yes, it may be hard to gauge, but one should try to consider the other person's feelings. For one, there really aren't many 18 year old girls (and guys) with the emotional maturity to understand and partake in casual sex. - MsAntiSunshine, on 05/20/2008, -1/+9Actually, religions painting women as evil seductresses were to blame for all of that chastity. Feminism may have helped to break through that, but women were not the cause of sexual modesty.
- uriman, on 05/20/2008, -5/+13Where was my casual sex in college?
- joeTaco, on 05/20/2008, -5/+13I can't believe people are digging you down for that. The article made some nice points that i hadn't expected from the name of the site, but it goes totally overboard. It's basically several paragraphs of "I don't like casual sex so you shouldn't either," wrapped in some high-minded window dressing.
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