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LDS lawyers, psychologists had a hand in torture policies -

sltrib.com — "Although the decisions which put us in the grim business of torture, body-snatching, extraordinary renditions, making people disappear, indefinite confinement without charges and warrantless wiretapping were made by the president and vice president, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints served as helpful enablers" -SL Trib

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  • inactive, on 05/01/2009, -0/+10Figures.
  • Phylter, on 05/01/2009, -0/+7Of COURSE! Just tell the LDS volunteers who wanna be torturers that the hostages are gay and want to get married and watch em go to WORK!
  • stonecircle, on 06/11/2009, -0/+3Love thy neighbor as they self... but it's okay to beat the guy whose name you don't know.
  • smacksaw, on 05/05/2009, -0/+1And that, my friends is where they get their ideas on how to conceive of torture policies. From their fruity, teenaged, all-male vacations abroad.

    There's nothing more gay than pairs of boys riding around on bikes, and living together without women in a foreign place.
  • smacksaw, on 05/05/2009, -0/+1That will really help their missions abroad to convert people.

    *Knocking sound
    Occupant: Yes, may I help you?
    Boy with short-sleeved shirt and tie #1: Hello, we're here to tell you about the second coming of Jesus Christ.
    Boy with short-sleeved shirt and tie #2: Can we come in and talk?
    O: Umm, aren't you guys LDS?
    B#1: Yes, and we're here to bring good news!
    O: Err...
    B#2: What have you heard, let me set the record straight.
    O: http://www.sltrib.com/ci_12256286?source=most_view ...
    B#1: Can we come in and talk about Jesus?
    O: Sorry, I don't want you guys to tie me up and torture me. You outnumber me 2 to 1 and those short-sleeves tell me you're ready to get to work. I've read your church's legal rendition of torture and I am not letting you in. Besides, I'm gay. *Slams door
    B#2: Well, at least he didn't shoot at us and call the police saying we were kidnappers like the Muslim family did yesterday.
    B#1: First the gay marriage thing and now this torture thing. I think the Church is trying to make everyone hate us and get us killed.
    B#2: Screw the mission to add to the Church's ranks. Let's just go home to our girlfriends, get married and each have 12 children.
    B#1: I can't.
    B#2: Why?
    B#1: Because I love you.
    *Passionate kiss ensues
    B#1: I didn't know I was gay until the church sent us off to live together, alone for a year.
    B#2: I think they want us to be gay. I mean, why else would they send a bunch of boys out, alone, in pairs to a foreign country where they can't monitor our activities?
    B#1: Oh hold me, Brighamdiah!
    B#2: Better yet, let's go back and tie up the guy gay and do S&M on him!

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