What is Digg?234 Comments
- rhesuspieces00, on 10/12/2007, -8/+90Things not to do:
1. Never say anything self-deprecating
2. Never try to get 'in touch' with your emotions
3. Never use the 'friends' angle (very effeminate)
4. Never (and I mean NEVER) give up Sunday football
Thats not masculinity. Thats a sad caricature of masculinity; a facade put up to protect the fragile ego of a man who knows he will never meet his Dad's approval, who is deathly afraid of facing the pain of that rejection, who suspects his penis isn't big enough, who sees himself as a fraud and a failure, and who intends to live his life trying to convince the world otherwise by external displays of strength or aggression.
Masculinity includes (but is not limited to) the following:
1. Acting or speaking when the need arises
2. Accepting responsibility for your words and actions
3. Not making excuses
4. Knowing your strengths, without pride
5. Admitting you weaknesses, without shame
6. An internal confidence that doesn't need praise or admiration - siszam, on 10/12/2007, -7/+76My husband knows how to cook and clean for me, spoil me and work for me but he also knows when and how to reign me in and put me in my place in a loving, firm way. You better believe I respect him for it. We have too many men who are either abusive or kiss butt too much. On the other hand we have too many women who think submitting to a good loving man (shockingly even many Christian women feel that way) is a sign of weakness and oppression. Nonsense. It takes a stronger, smarter woman to know when to submit just as it takes a stronger, smart man to know when to lead or when to let his wife lead in areas that she is gifted in.
We should submit to each other within a marriage. - dagnabbit, on 10/12/2007, -7/+65Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That's not funny. - VeganG, on 10/12/2007, -3/+55"Last Christmas, my wife threw me out after discovering I'd been cheating on her. On the night we got back together, I made strong, passionate love to her. Unfaithful as I'd been, I was not going to let her have me over a barrel for the rest of our marriage. I needed to keep a sense of self and not allow her to mire me in guilt and a desperate quest of forgiveness.
I needed to let her know what she would be missing if we broke up for ever. I gave her a manful bravura performance that night, and at the height of her passion, I asked her: 'Who's the boss?'
The question threw her. Initially she wouldn't give me a reply, but I enticed it from her. 'You are,' she finally gasped. 'You are!'"
So, the article is written by an *****... - CableCarrier, on 10/12/2007, -6/+58I'm not sure about #1, either. Self-depreciating humor is a pretty good way to keep one's self grounded, and aware of one's faults. To ignore those faults is the road to a superiority complex.
- BullyJack, on 10/12/2007, -7/+54"Although it's important for a man to keep his emotions under control, it's a bad idea to ignore them all together. Passion is a good thing sometimes..."
Agreed - RadiantBeing, on 10/12/2007, -0/+465. Never be passive-aggressive.
- Arpowers, on 10/12/2007, -3/+446 DON'T LISTEN TO DR PHIL !
- geodescent, on 10/12/2007, -0/+41@RadiantBeing, you just ruled out all of Digg's userbase!
- JEmerson, on 10/12/2007, -18/+48"1. Never say anything self-deprecating"
Bush Jr. is the ultimate man? Never admit you're wrong, to the point where everyone is laughing at your unwillingness to admit the obvious?
"2. Never try to get 'in touch' with your emotions"
You mean repress them? Looking at how emotionally screwed up and unable to cope with society the old men who went that way are now, don't agree.
"3. Never use the 'friends' angle (very effeminate)"
No idea what that is.
"4. Never (and I mean NEVER) give up Sunday football "
Nothing more manly than getting fat in front of the TV while watching people who wouldn't stoop to spit on you chase a ball.
Seriously, have a penis? Congrats, you're a real man. Vagina, you're a woman. Gender roles change as society changes, because some aspects of them are based soley on society. Those that are, will obviously change. Those that aren't, won't change. It's foolish to think that we actually have the power, from the sheer force of our mighty primate brains, to change our biological behaviour based on feminism. Check out how many fat people there are who can't stop eating even with society shouting at them every second to stop. That's just a fraction of what it'd take to actually change biologically dictated gender behaviour. - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -7/+35The problem is that women want equality AND chivalry, in a sense, they want to be better than men, equal rights, but you still better hold the door open for me.
I say to hell with that, i made a concious decision not to go out of my way to cater to a woman, ever, they want 100% equality, they can have it.
Any women reading this, pass the word, you want me to open the door for you from time to time, then open the door for me from time to time. I would even go so far as to say everytime i go to the bathroom and the seat is down, i'm gonna get mad about it, why should i put down the seat if you don't put it up. - general13, on 10/12/2007, -3/+29"Last Christmas, my wife threw me out after discovering I'd been cheating on her."
I lost all respect for this guys opinion right there. - tgone, on 10/12/2007, -5/+29I agree with giving women equal power, but some feminists want supremacy. Too bad people don't realize this.
correction: this post wasn't meant to be under your's. - int19h, on 10/12/2007, -9/+34I think football is boring because it's not intellectually challenging enough, and it's not brutal and violent enough to awake any emotions.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -6/+30Yeah, no one has a computer in their kitchen..
- qber, on 10/12/2007, -4/+28"Real man" my ass. This guy obviously doesn't respect his wife enough to not cheat on her and not humiliate her by publishing details about what should have been a private act between them.
- CableCarrier, on 10/12/2007, -3/+23I think the idea of "real men" is utter bunk in the first place. It's like saying chicks aren't real women unless they shake their asses in some dude's face all the time, cry at corny romantic comedies, and live to cook some tender roast rump. It's a stereotype.
- amoirae, on 10/12/2007, -3/+23What a whiny pussy.
Blaming his emasculation on feminism rather than his inherent lack of balls. - MalaysianMafia, on 10/12/2007, -3/+22Sum up article
In haiku form I shall do:
Chicks love confidence - tgone, on 10/12/2007, -20/+38I agree with #4 the most. Seriously, I would never date a girl that wouldn't let me watch football. There's absolutely nothing wrong with football (even though ultra-liberals claim that it promotes a "violent culture").
Not sure about #2 though. Although it's important for a man to keep his emotions under control, it's a bad idea to ignore them all together. Passion is a good thing sometimes... - matija, on 10/12/2007, -2/+19People really don't understand what the word feminism means..
- tgone, on 10/12/2007, -7/+20Interesting points. I think having religious/spiritual direction helps keep the two forces (male/female) in balance.
I know guys who are controlled by women in a bad way. Yes, their women enjoy the power, but deep down they yearn for a strong man. I can't tell you how many couples I meet like this and most of their marriages will end in conflict. - benjpw, on 10/12/2007, -2/+15This is an unimportant article in a world full of important issues.
BTW From an Anthropological perspective - there is no real 'man' - it is a fictious hegemonic ideal that all men want to achieve - but rarely do - and then feel bad about themselves. - zkakisochra, on 10/12/2007, -8/+20This article is trash.
Who wants to read an article by someone who can only acheive their point through generalizations and extreme examples? not me anyways
I agree with Vegan, this guy is a douche.
buried - rhesuspieces00, on 10/12/2007, -2/+14Its because there are a thousand different flavors of feminism, all claiming to be the One True Feminism. Like any social group, they all tend to get stigmatized based on the wack-jobs.
- Ghostlove, on 10/12/2007, -8/+20I was just about to say this. "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people."
- TrevorBradley, on 10/12/2007, -1/+13@rhesuspieces00 .. right on.
There's a bizzare dichotomy the author is trying to promote here. Men are either wusses who bow to their wives' every command, bake lasagna and change diapers, or they're Men(tm) who watch football, and tell their wives to shut up if they're trying to talk too much.
Both of these were evolutionary paths from men saying:
Honey, can you have my suit pressed for me in the morning for my business meeting / Bitch get me a beer and quit your yappin', I'm watching football!
and
Yes dear I'll do everything you say and I appreciate your every feelings and I'll have that lasanga ready in a minute and oh the baby's daiper needs changing I'll take care of that every time because you were the one to give birth....
to
Let's do the dishes together / Let's decide what to do this evening together / Let's have sex like crazed weasels together / Let's spent the rest of our lives together... as *equals*
Stop trying to figure out who has to dominant role in the relationship and treat your partner as your equal and best friend. If *anyone* is the daily suit presser, diaper changer, dish washer, decision maker, or bedroom slave, there's something wrong with your relationship. - tetsuwan, on 10/12/2007, -6/+18Yet another stupid article. Very stupid even.
- 574lk3r, on 10/12/2007, -4/+16what a load of tabloid crap.
just be yourself. - JEmerson, on 10/12/2007, -1/+12I've found the majority of women love nice guys. The problem is, they're also not attracted to men who use the "B...but...I'm a nice guy!" line as a shoddy cover over an underlying lack of confidence and unwillingness to stand up for himself.
"Now why the ***** do you think that is?"
He didn't comfort her, make her feel loved, and 'then' throw her down on the bed instead of assuming she'd use her psychic powers to realize what was going on? - xtmno3, on 10/12/2007, -2/+13Interesting view on things. I agree that women don't seem to want men who act like women. I suppose I agree with a majority of the writer's thoughts, just maybe not as intensely as he puts them.
The two maxims I follow:
A man is only a man if he follows what he believes in and accepts responsibility for his actions. -me
Speak softly and carry a big stick. -Theodore Roosevelt - CraWea, on 10/12/2007, -2/+13The author demands respect from his partner, but does not offer it back, as clearly displayed by his actions.
There is no such thing as an healty relationship without mutual respect.
(I did however agree with most of the first half of the article, before he went to far in his effort to counterbalance the feminist viewpoint and tipped over to the masculism camp, like so many advocates for rights movements do...)
So no digg. - rjprobert, on 10/12/2007, -4/+15Feminism isnt about changing men, its about changing the rights of women.
I thought this article was appauling. There are, I concede, some interesting points but it is obvious that after reading it this man does not love women as people but purely as objects... he doesnt even sound like he likes women. I cant find one positive comment towards women here for being strong, career orientated and/or wanting a family unit. I think in reality this guy is more angry at the men for not acting how he thinks is appropriate.
I dont really think that women want to feminise men. How rediculous an idea is that... we love men because they are men...strong, supportive and sensitive. Sensitive doesnt mean acting like a sissy. Sensitive means being understanding to needs... just like a man would expect a women to be... sensitive to his needs.
Even the male qualities he writes about are questionable. "But women secretly long for a man with swagger, who is cocky and selfassured and has the cheek to stand up them and make fun of their feminine foibles." he has mistaken womens admiration for a 'self-confident' man as women wanting relationships with a sexist two timers.
There have always been weak and defensless people and there always will be.
There have always been bullys and there always will be.
Note to Nirpal: Women will say anything in 'the height of passion' ! - Jugalator, on 10/12/2007, -1/+12Just because men can allow themselves to be "sensitive" at times doesn't mean they have to be wimps... :-p
- akzidenzgrotesk, on 10/12/2007, -3/+13so, im a woman, and thought id throw my point of view out there just for the hell of it.
at first, this article made me angry. then i realized he has a point, up until he got to the part about cheating on his wife.
basically, this is what "true alpha females" need in a man to be happy:
• he stands up for himself, but is willing to concede the point when proved wrong. admitting defeat when truly defeated is the true sign of a man, not bullheadly insisting youre always right. that is just annoying and childish.
• he is appreciative when a woman does "domestic" and/or "womanly" things for him like cook dinner, clean, wear sexy lingerie. offering to help continually when your woman is playing housewife is not neccessary, but you should be willing to do your share later (wash the dishes, fix *****, ***** her like a maniac).
• be relatively presentable. this varies from woman to woman and man to man. dont be someone other than yourself, but wearing the same underwear for a week or not showering ever isnt cool. and helpful suggestions as to clothes/toiletries/haircuts should at least be acknowledged and considered, even if not acted upon.
• will actually listen when she has a real problem. if youre sufficiently astute, you can decifer when she's just being silly versus when she has a real issue, and while you can ignore the silly more or less, you should never ignore the real issue. if youre really good at this, she will curb the silliness out of respect for your genuine concern. so its win win on both sides.
• while manly is ok, macho is not. dont be afraid to be silly, affectionate, and any number of other things you wouldnt want your friends to see. that is when you are the most endearing, and that is how you will truly win her heart.
• dont be needlessly selfish with the sex. if you like strong women, then you'd better get used to being the object of sexual advances instead of always being the initiator. also, figure out what kind of lover she is, and play it up. if she's submissive (and often women who are really strong in real life tend to be very submissive in the sack) then by all means, grab her by the hair, throw her on the bed and have at her. if she's a dominant, then let her take the reins and grab you by the hair and throw you on the bed and have at you. - charlesroldan, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11His wife, Liz Jones, wrote this.
http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/biography/story/0,6000,1543533,00.html
I'm pretty sure she isn't as happy as Nirpal makes it out to be. - GliTCH82, on 10/12/2007, -9/+19Woman, I thought I told youu ta git in tha truuck
- almostmanda, on 10/12/2007, -4/+14"The female orgasm is the natural mechanism by which men assert dominion over women: a man who appreciates this can negotiate whatever difficulties arise in his relationships with them."
This MAY be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. The female orgasm, a "natural" tool of oppression? I've got news for you, chump: your cheating ass is not the only thing that has ever pleased your wife, and if that's where your much-talked-up confidence comes from, you're either fooling yourself about your own sexual prowess or fooling yourself about the "intelligence and independence" of your wife. The female orgasm is a "natural mechanism by which men assert dominion over women" only in the sense that, post-orgasm, some woman will say any dumb ***** to please you.
If feminism is so "evil" as to have destroyed men like this, I'd say women are that much better off. - Mr_Lyle, on 10/12/2007, -6/+16Aside from the whole cheating thing (which is extremely disrespectful and unmanly if you ask me) this guy has a great point.
You know where nice guys finish? On the edge of a bed with the most beautiful girl sitting next to them listening to her cry about what a bastard her boyfriend is and how ***** her life has become until the inevitable final line which goes something like this: '.......I dunno what I'd do without you. You're such a great listener and a good friend'
Then 2 day later she gets back together with that same ***** boyfriend she spent 2 hours crying to you about.
Now why the ***** do you think that is? - ClassicJBC, on 10/12/2007, -8/+18What warped definition of feminism is the author describing? Feminism is about gender equality; it has nothing to do with modern psychology and getting in touch with one's emotions (though there's nothing wrong with that) or giving up favorite pastimes like football. In fact, asking a man to change habits that are otherwise healthy or neutral is counter to Feminism. Straw men abound in this article.
And who says sensitivity and strength are mutually exclusive? - Haohmaru, on 10/12/2007, -2/+11I liked the article until I got the part about how he cheated on his wife.
A real man is one who can exert SELF-control, not WIFE-control. - dan2, on 10/12/2007, -3/+12What a ridiculous article, "real men" whatever that means have never went away. There has always been suckers and there always will.
- WikiEasy, on 10/12/2007, -9/+18That's a lie. Digg, just like Slashdot, is devoid of women.
- VolatileWhimsy, on 10/12/2007, -3/+12"And an ***** is what the majority of women want. Go ahead and digg me down for the comment, but I speak from personal experience, both from being the non-*****, and seeing all the ***** get all the attention. I just call it as I see it."
You seem to misunderstand what they are requiring, it is as simple as confidence..
Also I'll let you in on a secret, when dating an *****, you know what his faults are up front, a nice guy's fault take a bit of time getting to and sometimes they are completely crazy.. :/ - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -3/+12Bah, humbug... This is all based on the underlying assumption that men and women are somehow fundamentally different. Okay, so they are in today's society, but that's because they're raised that way. As difficult as the concept is, I believe in not "acting" like either a man or a woman, but just being. I mean, why is being wimpy considered feminine, or being an ***** considered masculine? They're both terrible ways to act, but they shouldn't be linked to gender. *shrug*
- profOblivion, on 10/12/2007, -2/+11There seems to be this definition of "nice guy" that isn't the whole story. I consider myself a nice guy. But I sure as hell don't think I come anywhere close to fitting this "nice guy" mould that seems to be prevalent some places.
Being a nice guy isn't about bowing to your girl's wishes, or buying flowers every other day just because, or being scared to say what's on your mind. It's about loving and respecting her the very best you can every day, and self-respecting nice guys know that this _includes_ standing up for your own viewpoints, recognizing when she's wrong, and yes, even regular rolls in the hay.
This idea that nice guys are nothing but pushovers and "just friends" has got to go. It doesn't take an "*****" to be able to stand up for themselves. It's okay to be nice to the other person - it's not okay to do it blindly.
So yeah, I also think the majority of women like nice guys. Nice guys who have souls of their own and have a low tolerance for BS. - olik, on 10/12/2007, -3/+11Sorry to ruin it for you, but you can't generalize about a group that makes up half of the world's population
- alexkorova, on 10/12/2007, -3/+11This is a load of crap written by someone who finally realized he has no balls and wants something to blame.
- sigintop, on 10/12/2007, -1/+9I always find these articles hilarious. Why is it that the only two choices are being a jerk and being "Mr. Sensitive"? Hate to tell you this but the guys who pull the quality girls don't live in those extremes.
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