What is Digg?172 Comments
- opencad, on 10/12/2007, -29/+139Jeeze . . . what a stupid post. My God, there's a whole industry built on BDSM and consensual dominance. Its not rocket science. Not all women get off on it. Some do. Some don't. And some that do _are_ feminists. Who posts this crap?
- AlienAntFarm, on 10/12/2007, -6/+80Anyone got this chicks phone number?
- cdlavalle, on 10/12/2007, -14/+85Most guys who have more than one girlfriend figure this stuff out pretty quickly. The ones that don't I just feel sorry for. I know this one guy that is still a virgin at 25 because he "doesn't' want to have to convince a girl to have sex" with him. He thinks it is some sort of coercion! Then he acts surprised when the soft spoken, somewhat submissive girl hes been softly pursuing for years jumps into the sack with a rough and tumble guy she meets at a party that she couldn't stop talking about for years. Listen, women want to be pursued! They want you to want them! Many times they get drunk to have sex! Loosen up, stop feeling guilty and get what you want. It's what they want too!
- Easty, on 10/12/2007, -3/+69Women love a sensitive man, though.
I always cry after sex.
***** mace. - whereisian, on 10/12/2007, -9/+65Sex doesn't have to be a power struggle. I think it's really unhealthy to view it that way. The author may have a few self-loathing issues to deal with. I also think she fundamentally misunderstands what feminism is about.
That whole rape and dominance rant was pretty out to lunch. A controlled submissive fantasy is pretty ***** far away from a violent crime - don't mix fantasy and reality, they are really very different things. - bbschaefer, on 10/12/2007, -5/+55I think a quote by Tenacious D is very much in order;
"You don't have to ***** her hard
in fact sometimes that's not right to do..
Sometimes you got to make some love
and ***** give her some smooches too.."
Moral of the story is this: Yes, sometimes it's nice to just go at it like animals. However, if this is the only kind of sex I ever had it'd get pretty empty. Once in a while it's nice to take it a little slower and express love through sex. It can be a very powerful expression of all kinds of emotion, not just anger or aggression.
Maybe I'm just a sap that's been brainwashed by the feminists, though... - Cal241, on 10/12/2007, -4/+49The implication that one is a slut if one likes rough sex is narrow minded and idiotic.
- TomRemixed, on 10/12/2007, -2/+41867-5309... I think her name is Jenny.
- illyriah, on 10/12/2007, -2/+38Oddly enough, the column ended with a feminist ideal: That women should not be ashamed of their sexuality. Quite ironic.
I tend to avoid reading too much into any column that thinks "no women" want or don't want something. Feminism isn't about taking away bedroom fantasies; it's about giving women an equal opportunity in life. Have your rape fantasy; express that desire. There is no need to blame the very ideal that says you shouldn't be ashamed of your desires. - obrysii, on 10/12/2007, -5/+40Why does a girl who likes sex have to be a "slut" ... but a guy who likes sex is par for the course?
- bbschaefer, on 10/12/2007, -4/+35Heh, normally you'd be right, but being an engaged man I get my fair share.
- Ystig, on 10/12/2007, -2/+32It's amazing how it's taking so long for straight culture to figure out what gay culture has known all along. Namely:
You've got tops; you've got bottoms; and you've got lots more who'll circumstantially be either.
So this woman's a bottom. Or more straightly speaking, a sub. Great, terrific, good for her. And she's angry at the passé school of '70s and '80s feminism which thought that women shouldn't be bottoms/subs, even if that's what they liked. Okay, fine.
Her stupidity seems to consist in two things:
- The notion that male reluctance to dom her socially and sexually is a consequence of passé (particularly, Dworkian) radical feminism 95% of men have never read and most of the mainstream culture media ridicule.
- The notion that her sub tastes should be generalised across her entire gender, and the notion that male hesitance to dom, or natural inclination to dom, should be generalised across that gender.
There are lots of guys who like to dom out there. And lots who don't. And the same goes for women. I've been with both kinds of women and both kinds of men. If she's having trouble finding what she likes, it's not a problem with the male condition. I would theorise that it has something to do with the fact that she's writing blog posts instead of going out and communicating what she wants and finding what she's looking for.
The solution to her problem with finding doms does not consist in the entire male species converting to the status of dominant alpha male. It consists in her communicating what she wants, and finding others who will communicate an interest in satisfying that want. - vr1000, on 10/12/2007, -3/+31What a crock. One's sex life is just like anything else. Variety, people, variety. I have been married for almost 9 years, sometimes we are rough, sometimes we are sweet, sometimes we are quick, and sometimes we are long. And what does this have to do with feminism anyway? If this bitch was getting treated as if she was a donkey like the burka-wearing women of the world I bet she would change her tune.
- garreh, on 10/12/2007, -19/+47No it isn't 100% correct.
She sounds like she's into BDSM, which stands for Bondage, Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism.
She mentions that what do woman talk about... those times when roses were put out on the bed trailing to the bathroom.. No. They talk about that _violent_ time when she got whipped and spat in her face.
Now what's the bet she hangs around with others with her same interest, aka, BDSM. Try hanging around with a 'consensual' girl and I think you're see a huge difference in what turns her on. - illyriah, on 10/12/2007, -3/+30There is a big difference between a rape fantasy and an actual rape.
- whodaman5, on 10/12/2007, -10/+35You're dating a slut too. You probably don't know it.
- andy101, on 10/12/2007, -10/+33Actually, they want to pursue you. If you start pursuing them, it shows them they hold more power than you do. Everyone wants that which they can't have.
- UtopianComplex, on 10/12/2007, -1/+21I really don't think this author understands feminism at all. I think feminists generally are more open about sex and thus more open to both being dominated and domination. Before the feminist movement, women couldn't really talk about sex, it was taboo. I think the entire array of sexual options and openness that exists today rather than 70 years ago that exists today is directly linked with the feminist movement that also triggered the sexual revolution. Todays feminists are no different. They are in tune with their sexuality and know how to ensure they can get what they want.
- blackmariah, on 10/12/2007, -7/+26It's also a generalization by a broad.
- orientis, on 10/12/2007, -5/+23@garreh Rough sex and BDSM are separated by a long trench full of 16" diameter butt plugs, gas masks, scalpels, whips and rubber gloves. You obviously have no idea what you're talking about.
We can teach you :) - cdlavalle, on 10/12/2007, -2/+19@blackbeard
Is an ice queen princess a role model? What about the people who go their entire lives having bland sex simply because it is their marital duty? Your daughter doesn't have to be a slut, she can still be choosey (and for your sake I hope she is) but when she makes her choice (hopefully a good one) wouldn't you want here to enjoy it to the fullest? I know it's an uncomfotable thing to think about and hopefully she will be a fully funcitoning adult when she is making these decisions but it will happen sooner or later. - dwemer, on 10/12/2007, -2/+17This line at the end struck me as confusing:
"Quit feeling so damn guilty about your natural sexual desires"
Felling guilty about sex is the opposite of feminism, the burn your bra feminism of the 60's was about embracing your sexuality not repressing it (among other things). The western world is more free about sex now because of the sexual revolution and the Women's liberation movement. - an0nymous, on 10/12/2007, -6/+21You should really rethink calling people sluts. It affects your ability to perceive reality and limits you as a person.
- RpgActioN, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15Because this lady speaks for the entire population of women everywhere.
- mrjames, on 10/12/2007, -6/+19Well it could have been more profound if she just talked about how some feminists believe they know exactly what women want, whereas evolutionary psychology tells us that there are fundamental differences in what men and women want and how they behave, regardless of how conservative/liberal their society is, and this should be acknowledged.
Then again, she wouldn't have got so many hits without sex sex sex ;-) - BeefBaron, on 10/12/2007, -4/+17Which unfortunately is a pity for the unattractive men.
Talk about 99% of women being shallow these days... - cdlavalle, on 10/12/2007, -4/+16@sogracefully
I am not condoning taking advantage of someone who is so drunk that they cannot consent. Thant would be rape. What I am saying is many times people, men and women, drink to loosen up a bit. Sounds like you could use a drink or two.
"specifically getting drunk to have sex is not a standard behavior (or a healthy one)" --what college did YOU go to? It is not an unhealthy behavior unless you are getting so drunk you don't know who you are sleeping with (we all know THAT person).
it's "not something all women do" Well there are very few things that ALL women do. But a lot do drink to frisky up as do men. In fact, humankind has been doing just that since we learned the joys of fermentation. Grow up. - sylphae, on 10/12/2007, -2/+13This post is merely a rant and show little understanding of feminism. Feminism is a reaction because 1/2 the population where not being treated as an equal human being. The ability to vote, have a job, be paid the same for performing the same tasks. Feminism is about the ability to walk freely with out being subjected to violence or threats of violence or unwanted sexual advances. Feminism is about the ability to be able to choose for yourself when and how you want to be sexual.
I personally do not care that the author cannot have enough brain matter to delineate BDSM sexual desires from a human rights issue. This is far from an education piece and should be buried. Perhaps she should do some volunteer time in a domestic abuse shelter before writing generalizations on women want to be treated. - kindrobot, on 10/12/2007, -1/+12Way to get your fat, male, aging ex-football playing date rapist conservative anti-feminist, paranoid, intimate with males only, unattractive and socially retarded readership up.
It's never 100 percent anything with women. Sex gets better (for a while anyway.. yeah I'm slightly bitter after a few failures, so sue me) in relationships because each partner learns the other's sexual cues. Paying attention to your wife or girlfriend's moods and daily experiences has nothing to do with being a feminist-friendly passive-aggressive pansy fruitcake that can't *****, it has more to do with how well YOU want to be *****. And unless you have a seven figure penis, you'd better ***** her well and how she wants to be *****, or she'll move on if she's worth being around in the first place. - pexor, on 10/12/2007, -2/+12Whoah.............................. TMI. I quit reading after understanding that your KIDS DOMINATE SEX IN YOUR HOUSE.
- cdlavalle, on 10/12/2007, -2/+11@andy101
I'll admit, overtly pursuing a woman, especially right off, is going to scare them off most of the time. Complete disinterest will do the same. Work slow, show interest but as subtly as you can manage. But there will come a moment of truth were if you don't make a move, nothing will happen. I'm not talking about jumping on them but touching their hand, going in for a kiss or even saying something that puts you out there. Forward women, while a nice surprise (depending on HOW forward), certainly doesn't seem to be the norm (unfortunately for us). - lilrabbit129, on 10/12/2007, -1/+10"I think the author was called a slut here because she said she fantasized about being raped... I think that's justified"
If she's fantasizing about it, whats stopping her and a consenting partner to role-play a little?
Remember kids, the safety word is Banana. - contradictator, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9Damn you Tommy Tutone!!
- SamiJam, on 10/12/2007, -5/+13Why bother reading this crap??!! Sex is just sex!! ***** the way you want to ***** and ***** the way how you like to ***** the best!!! So is the same to girls?!! Sometimes they like it crazy and rough but sometimes they like it soft and sweet!! There is nothing certain in sex!! Just ***** the way that it suppose to be *****!!!
- sulci, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8tell that to ur mother :(
- ZenMojo, on 10/12/2007, -2/+10The two words you probably hear most during sex.
"There" and "harder." Make of that what you will. - matija, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9FEMINISM does not mean oprah and candlelit dinners.. what a stupid way to title this
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8The key is to be able to discuss sex. My current GF likes pain and to be dominated sexually. Things I've done to her would have probably made my last GF break up with me!
Every woman is different, communication matters. - badave, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9@dugdig
Perfect. The real problem comes in when you give them all the wrong traits at the wrong times, but that's always a problem. http://www.shinndig.com/images/man-woman%20machine.jpg - Serrac, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9This woman is basically doing what she accuses feminism/the media of doing: projecting one group's desires on everyone else.
So she likes to be dominated, has full out rape fantasies, etc. That certainly doesn't mean everyone does.
And besides, if guys are honestly reading "girly" magazines to find out what women want, they are going to come out with a very, very screwed up point of view. - joshbradley, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8You can't over-generalize like that. Different people like different things.
The author is an idiot. - originaladam, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7Dont listen to anyone who gives blanket advice on any human behavior, especially sex. Some people like to *****, some dont. Some people like it rough, some dont. Everyone is Completely different and if you want to rock their world, all you have to do is pay attention, and apply what you learn to the entire relationship. Good sex is sex that everyone involved is into.
- sogracefully, on 10/12/2007, -11/+17specifically getting drunk to have sex is not a standard behavior (or a healthy one), and not something all women do, by any means. it's a little scary that you're telling people to take advantage of the opportunity.
- ucg1, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6There's no one way to have sex. Do it both ways. Have a little slow soft sex, have a little rough crazy wild sex. Try different things and see what happens. Yeah, many women like it rough at least a good amount of the time, but they also like it slow and soft with candles and romance and blah blah, at least every now and than. It depends on the woman a little, but I think most enjoy a variety of different sexual styles, not the same boring thing over and over again.
- Mylonite, on 10/12/2007, -3/+8Ystig - damn right. All of it.
Fortunately, *actual* feminists know that feminism is not what they joke about on late night television, and people with brains know that too. People with brains also realize that she's just blaming some caricature of the idea for her own sex issues.
This chick's just linkbaiting - but she didn't even get a pageload out of this feminist. - CanceledCzech, on 10/12/2007, -2/+7Yeah, I don't need to read an article on the details of how feminism ruined your sex life, the title is enough.
- Dustin00, on 10/12/2007, -2/+7This would have saved my real relationship if I head read it 15 years ago.... and believed it.
Growing up with 2 sisters and Oprah warped my brain and bored her to tears. - MoofTheStoof, on 10/12/2007, -2/+7Obviously n0ydz is either still single or in the wrong marriage.
- orientis, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6Dude, Banana is not our safety word. It means something bad. Very bad :(
Sorry Mistress. - calvmari, on 10/12/2007, -3/+8Say it with me... summer camp.
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