What is Digg?42 Comments
- hello3u, on 01/13/2009, -5/+24January 13, 2009
I, George W. Bush, President of these United States of the Americas, pursuant to that pardon power thingy conferred upon me by Article II, Section 2, of that Constitution I keep hearing people go on about, have granted and by these presents do grant a full, free, and absolute pardon unto MrBabyMan — or as I like to call him, Cow Man — for the crime of spamming.
The aforementioned — not to mention the beforementioned — shall not be subject to any punishment for this crime, including imprisonment in a high security prison, tar and feathering or waterboarding. Well, maybe a little bit of waterboarding, but just for fun, ya know? Heh heh.
Being The Decider in Chief, I have hereby used my Decidering powers to declare that MrBabyMan is a faithful devotee of Mormonism and is, as such, a technically decent but godless citizen of this great nation. To punish this person would embolden our enemies abroad for some undefined reason.
In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand today, on January 13, in the year of our Lord 2009 — which I totally cannot believe is actually here, and I still haven't gotten my hovercraft — and of the Independence of the United States of America.
God bless,
George W. Bush - nextekcarl, on 01/13/2009, -0/+15You can pardon any household objects you like. Go ahead, pardon your sink, your hammer, whatever. At these prices, everything must GO!!!!!
- snasu, on 01/13/2009, -0/+13I'm not sure what medium rare treason is, but I did it.
- vonbroner, on 01/13/2009, -0/+10I love how Bush said that many people "misunderestimated him". Gold till the end, I tells ya.
- treas, on 01/13/2009, -3/+13
I, George W. Bush, President of these United States of the Americas, pursuant to that pardon power thingy conferred upon me by Article II, Section 2, of that Constitution I keep hearing people go on about, have granted and by these presents do grant a full, free, and absolute pardon unto Name Here — or as I like to call him, Beta Butt — for the crime of drug possession.
The aforementioned — not to mention the beforementioned — shall not be subject to any punishment for this crime, including imprisonment in a low security prison, a medium fine or waterboarding. Well, maybe a little bit of waterboarding, but just for fun, ya know? Heh heh.
Being The Decider in Chief, I have hereby used my Decidering powers to declare that Name Here is a faithful devotee of liberal, amoral atheism and is, as such, a technically decent but godless citizen of this great nation. To punish this person would really anger Vice President Cheney.
In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand today, on January 12, in the year of our Lord 2009 — which I totally cannot believe is actually here, and I still haven't gotten my hovercraft — and of the Independence of the United States of America.
God bless,
George W. Bush
Nice! - PhantomPhoenix, on 01/13/2009, -1/+11January 19, 2009
I, George W. Bush, President of these United States of the Americas, pursuant to that pardon power thingy conferred upon me by Article II, Section 2, of that Constitution I keep hearing people go on about, have granted and by these presents do grant a full, free, and absolute pardon unto Richard "Dick" Cheney — or as I like to call him, Baggy Face — for the crime of global terrorism.
The aforementioned — not to mention the beforementioned — shall not be subject to any punishment for this crime, including a small fine, a medium fine or waterboarding. Well, maybe a little bit of waterboarding, but just for fun, ya know? Heh heh.
Being The Decider in Chief, I have hereby used my Decidering powers to declare that Richard "Dick" Cheney is a faithful devotee of Evangelical Christianity and is, as such, a good and God-fearing citizen of this great nation. To punish this person would set a dangerous precedent for many of my associates.
In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand today, on January 19, in the year of our Lord 2009 — which I totally cannot believe is actually here, and I still haven't gotten my hovercraft — and of the Independence of the United States of America.
God bless,
George W. Bush - maroon1872, on 01/13/2009, -0/+8something im least likely to put in my mouth...
pretzel is not on the list - pancak3s, on 01/13/2009, -0/+7Queef Woman?
- benroy, on 01/13/2009, -0/+7Heh, he called me Tuna Boy.
- rearlgrant, on 01/13/2009, -1/+7lolz
I didn't vote GOP, so I figure that must be treasonous and really tick off Cheney. - Sublex, on 01/13/2009, -1/+7meh.
- edwartica, on 01/13/2009, -1/+7Buried for burying solely on the basis of who dugg it.
- elliotys, on 01/13/2009, -2/+7Under Religion:
"liberal, amoral atheism." - grgt1994, on 01/13/2009, -0/+5The joke would be funnier were Bush actually handing out pardons with abandon and a total disregard for the rule of law. I bet they're kicking themselves for not thinking of this 8 years ago.
- daveydiamond, on 01/12/2009, -1/+6Huh-Larious!
- aristotle0dude, on 01/13/2009, -0/+5It's a trap.
- paintball102089, on 01/13/2009, -0/+5WTF!!!?! Bush refers to me as Queef Face!!!!
- inactive, on 01/13/2009, -0/+4Out-F--king standing! I just printed mine out for future reference.
- edwartica, on 01/13/2009, -0/+4Beta butt? Well, at least its not Cow girl.
- inactive, on 01/13/2009, -0/+4Wait, wait, you lost me at Obama Socialism. For a minute I thought maybe you knew what Socialism meant.
- Altair27, on 01/13/2009, -1/+5dugg for medium rare treason and waterboarding.
- shandromand, on 01/13/2009, -0/+4Tax evasion was originally part of the list, but after careful considereration, it was removed (his corporate buddies can call him or fly out to washington on his dime to get it).
- GeezerD, on 01/13/2009, -0/+4You Retardlicans are so funny!
- deadadam, on 01/12/2009, -2/+6Are we allow to not pardon cabinet and staff?
- Lith25, on 01/13/2009, -1/+5Yes, it is. We all read it.
- KnivesForRobots, on 01/13/2009, -1/+4feh.
- edwartica, on 01/13/2009, -0/+3Neither is bacon.
- evilchuck, on 01/13/2009, -1/+3I agree with pretty much all of what you say but that doesn't make you not a *****.
- funkywood, on 01/14/2009, -0/+2OK, pardon all iraqi shoes.
- HumanNouveau, on 01/13/2009, -0/+2Shame. Pretzel Man and Bacon Boy are totally Bush-probable nicks.
- nextekcarl, on 01/14/2009, -0/+1@funkywood: Awesome.
- inactive, on 01/13/2009, -0/+1We'd invite you but you clearly are incapable of getting up, so no invite.
- binorgog, on 01/14/2009, -1/+2Worth it just to be called "Queef Girl"
http://www.cmdconsulting.net/pardon.png - inactive, on 01/13/2009, -1/+2There was already plenty of disregard for the rule of law AND the constitution over the past 8 years, so I suppose that's enough.
- inactive, on 01/14/2009, -1/+2I, George W. Bush, President of these United States of the Americas, pursuant to that pardon power thingy conferred upon me by Article II, Section 2, of that Constitution I keep hearing people go on about, have granted and by these presents do grant a full, free, and absolute pardon unto Elizabeth "Bite Me" McKinley — or as I like to call her, XXX Butt — for the crime of moonshining and bootlegging while driving.
The aforementioned — not to mention the beforementioned — shall not be subject to any punishment for this crime, including imprisonment in a medium security prison, starvation or XXX. Well, maybe a little bit of XXX, but just for fun, ya know? Heh heh.
Being The Decider in Chief, I have hereby used my Decidering powers to declare that Elizabeth "Bite Me" McKinley is a faithful devotee of liberal, amoral atheism and is, as such, a technically decent but godless citizen of this great nation. To punish this person would almost certainly become a regular talking point on liberal blogs.
In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand today, on January 13, in the year of our Lord 2009 — which I totally cannot believe is actually here, and I still haven't gotten my hovercraft — and of the Independence of the United States of America.
God bless,
George W. Bush - Alheithinn, on 01/14/2009, -0/+1WTF! What is it with you conservatives? You bring sex into everything we talk about here, sex with yourself, sex with other men.
- budgeysmuggler, on 01/13/2009, -3/+3I, George W. Bush, President of these United States of the Americas, pursuant to that pardon power thingy conferred upon me by Article II, Section 2, of that Constitution I keep hearing people go on about, have granted and by these presents do grant a full, free, and absolute pardon unto adolf hitler — or as I like to call him, Queef Woman — for the crime of spamming.
The aforementioned — not to mention the beforementioned — shall not be subject to any punishment for this crime, including imprisonment in a high security prison, electrocution or waterboarding. Well, maybe a little bit of waterboarding, but just for fun, ya know? Heh heh.
Being The Decider in Chief, I have hereby used my Decidering powers to declare that adolf hitler is a faithful devotee of Catholicism and is, as such, a good and God-fearing citizen of this great nation. To punish this person would set a dangerous precedent for many of my associates.
In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand today, on January 13, in the year of our Lord 2009 — which I totally cannot believe is actually here, and I still haven't gotten my hovercraft — and of the Independence of the United States of America.
God bless,
George W. Bush - inactive, on 01/13/2009, -1/+1Meh and heh are always classics.
- berdman1, on 01/13/2009, -4/+0Lets all gather round in a circle and jerk each other off to pictures of Obama.
- rightwingkiller, on 01/13/2009, -6/+1Let see Pardons sold for under teh table cash to the Library?
Oh, yeah, that was the last DEMOCRAP who occupied the White House.
What friends and buddies has Bush pardoned?
The list is already public, please point them out for us?
I can complain about Bush for his selling out free markets and opening the door to Obama's Socialism, going along with these idiotic bailouts and not putting land mines and snipers along the Rio Grande but you guys really need some treatment for the Bush Derangement Syndrome. - TheRedeemer, on 01/13/2009, -7/+2Buried so as to not feed the ego of the "Power Digger."
- Intensity, on 01/13/2009, -8/+2Osama Bin Laden is now pardoned
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